Chapter Thirty-Eight
T ate and I retired to our respective rooms as soon as we arrived at the flat. I was exhausted and humiliated. I told my husband I was falling in love with him, and in return, he told me to sod off.
Not in so many words, but the message was clear.
After calling the nurse on shift at the hospice and checking in on Mum, I went through my night routine, put on a nightie, and slipped into bed.
Sometime after I fell asleep, I felt my body being scooped from my bed. My legs dangled in the air. My eyes fluttered open and settled on Tate’s hard jaw. He sailed across the corridor in the pitch black, carrying me honeymoon-style. He moved with predatory grace.
“What’s happening?” I asked groggily.
“Nothing.”
“Is it the Irish?”
“Relax. It’s not the Irish.”
“What’s going on then?” I yawned.
“You’re to sleep in my bed from now on.”
That woke me up instantly. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. “You don’t let anyone sleep in your bed.”
“You’re not anyone. You’re my wife.”
“You hate me.”
He didn’t answer until he draped me gently across his bed.
“Just as I am incapable of loving you, I am also incapable of hating you. You could ruin my whole damn life, and I would still want you. Nothing you do or say could ever turn me away from you.”
He slipped under the blanket beside me, turning his back to me.
I closed my eyes, too exhausted to try to extract an explanation. But when I tried to slide back into sleep, I felt his fingers tapping numbers across his leg under the covers.
I shouldn’t have any sympathy for the man, considering what he put me through. Still, something compelled me to swivel and press myself against his back.
I kissed his bare shoulder, dragging my fingers through his hair. I needed his body, even if I could not have his heart. He turned around and searched my face in the dark. His thumb trailed the outline of my forehead, rolling down to my chin.
“What do you need?” he croaked, grabbing my wrist and placing a kiss against my palm.
“ You. ”
“Do you want a quick, dirty fuck? Slow, missionary-style sex?”
“Rough and hard.” My thumb traced the shape of his thick eyebrow.
We both needed the distraction.
His lips crashed against mine, tongue belligerently dominating my mouth. Tate wrenched the top of my nightie down, tugging hard, stretching and ripping the fabric against my skin.
Twisted, sick possessiveness took him over. He kicked the duvet off us, clawing my pj’s from my body. The fabric stood no chance. I fumbled with his joggers, pushing them down. His cock sprang out, thick, veiny, and erect.
Grabbing both my wrists, he pinned them to the headboard above me. “Move, and I deny you an orgasm. Clear?”
I nodded.
He planted his knees on either side of my waist, hiking himself up, angling his engorged, dripping cock into my mouth. He scooted along my body until his thighs trapped my shoulders, his glistening crown in my face.
“Gonna check how good you worked on that gag reflex.”
I nodded again. I was so excited I could feel my pulse between my thighs.
“Understand, Apricity, that I’m about to fuck your face. Are you prepared for that?”
“ Yes ,” I said slowly. “I understand. Fuck my face already. I’m about to fall back to slee—”
He shoved his cock into my mouth in one go. I immediately gagged, my eyes watering as I inhaled through my nose. Oh God. He was thick. To make matters worse, he braced one hand over the headboard, using his free one to grab the back of my neck. He thrust into my mouth, hard.
“That’s right. Take it like a good girl.”
I had the distinct feeling he was trying to mark me somehow.
He pulled back, then thrust his cock into my mouth again, and I saw stars, my mouth dripping with saliva as I held my breath.
He fucked my face mercilessly, without rhythm or tempo, his balls hitting my chin each time he drove home.
I resisted the urge to reach and play with myself while he hit the back of my throat again and again, using his hand on my neck to pull me into him, making his entire shaft disappear inside my throat until I felt it curve into my bloody neck.
I couldn’t risk not getting an orgasm. I knew this one would be earth-shattering.
“No. No. I’m not coming in your mouth,” he muttered to himself, pulling out of me all at once.
He rolled me to my stomach and braced his knees on either side of my bum, locking me in place.
He was quivering a little, and I knew it was because he was breaking his own rules, having me in his kingdom, in his bed. “How’s the mouth?” He scowled.
“I’ll survive,” I said around a big ball of nothing. Maybe . If he didn’t dislocate my jaw.
His knuckles slid down my ass, a finger dipping into my pussy.
I slapped his hand away, my face buried in his pillows. “No,” I said, my breathing choppy. “Fuck me. Use me. Drown in me. You want this to be loveless? So be it.”
With a growl, he spat on his cock, sheathing it with saliva by stroking it up and down, then wedged the crown into my opening. My thighs were squeezed together, which made the friction unbearably hot, and when he pushed inside, he discovered I was already wet for him.
A guttural sound came from the bottom of his lungs, and he leaned forward, his teeth sinking into the side of my neck as he began thrusting into me, hard and deep, still caging my legs shut for maximum resistance.
My eyes rolled inside their sockets. Each time he pushed into me, the momentum jerked me forward, making my head bang against the headboard and my clit chafe the mattress.
My tits bounced, my nipples grazing the sheets, creating delicious friction. Heat spread inside my core.
My pulse became erratic, mirroring his fitful thrusts.
I pushed to my forearms, arching my back.
This allowed him to drive deeper into me.
But it was almost too good. I was going to come soon, and I wanted to prolong this sensation.
The sound of our flesh slapping together mixed with the scent of our juices filling the air.
We panted and grunted and clawed at each other’s skin, like we were at war.
Each time he slammed into me, I felt like he was tipping me over the edge of a tall, looming cliff.
He reached around my waist, massaging my clit and stroking my labia. My orgasm gathered in the pit of my stomach like a tsunami gaining momentum before rising above surface.
“Don’t come until I tell you to.” His mouth grazed my ear.
I slid into a cat/cow pose as I kept dangling my arse in offering to him. I wanted him to claim all of me. I wanted to come to terms with what we were.
Forbidden.
Wrong.
A lie.
He caught up with my wordless invitation. His lips nibbled the shell of my ear. “Is this an offering?” His palm dragged from my waist to my ass, massaging my glutes with confident strokes.
“No,” I hissed. “It’s a demand.”
“There’s my little killer.” We were both killers. No matter how much I tried to excuse my own past. “Why?”
“Because the more pieces of me I give you, the less I feel guilty for what I’ve done to you.”
“I’ve already forgiven you the day you agreed to be my wife.
” He slid out of my pussy and bent between my legs.
Thumbing my arse cheeks and spreading them open, he dragged his hot, flat tongue from my clit along the slit of my pussy, all the way up to my tight hole.
He licked and nibbled, causing me to shudder with pleasure, before spitting into my rectum and repositioning himself on his knees.
“Besides, I could never get enough of you.” The head of his cock kissed my taut hole. “Not too late to change your mind.”
“Fuck me like I’m one of your nameless conquests.”
The push inside was painful and exhilarating. He kissed my damp, sweaty spine, stroking my ribs tenderly. “Fuck, Apricity. Fuck .”
When he was finally inside me all the way and started moving, I thought he would tear me apart I was stretched so wide.
He dipped two fingers into my pussy, and I felt both uncomfortably full and elated.
I erected my spine, my body wanting to run away from the pain and the pleasure.
My back was flat against his pecs, and I wrapped an arm around his neck.
We kissed and fucked, slow and sensual, his cock in my arse and his fingers in my cunt, playing, stroking, rewarding.
I was close. So close I could cry. Trembling on unsteady knees. Tate’s hand moved from my waist to my tit, playing with my sensitive nipple.
“Please,” I moaned. “Let me come.”
“Come,” he ordered ruggedly.
We both did. I felt a rush of heat zipping through me, like thunder, my entire body spasming, and his thick, warm liquid gathering inside me.
I went down like a wrecking ball, falling face-first into a pillow, convulsing.
When he pulled out of me, my bum was full of his cum.
It dripped down the curve of my arse onto my inner thighs.
Tate kissed my cheek from behind, planting a firm hand on the base of my back to keep me from standing up.
“Sleep like this, Apricity.” He collapsed next to me. “I want you to wake up tomorrow remembering you are full of my cum.”
We fell asleep tangled in each other, in a messy bed reeking of sex, breaking all his rules.
And all of mine.