13. Chapter 13
Chapter 13
GRIFF
I still feel like a complete asshole for snapping at Ledger this morning. It’s not even that I minded him using Riley’s mug, it just felt like a punch to the gut to see it unexpectedly. Honestly, it’s been back there gathering dust for so long I forgot it existed, and then to see the first man I’ve spent the night with since Riley passed stroll out drinking from it like it was nothing…
I shake my head.
The way Ledger disarmed my bullshit so easily though, like it didn’t even phase him but he sure as shit wasn’t going to take it—Riley would have loved that.
I drag my fingers through my beard and shuffle my feet. I need to stop stalling. I can’t just stand here on Ledger’s porch all night wondering how badly I fucked things up this morning… If there’s even anything to fuck up.
If I want there to be anything to fuck up.
I swallow hard and tug on my beard with a quiet huff. Before I can even raise my fist to knock, the door swings open.
“I’m sorry, I was trying to be patient and let you work through whatever it is you’re working through out here, but I’m only human and that scowl is killing me.” He doesn’t say it like he’s annoyed I’m standing on his porch scowling, but more like he thinks my scowl is hot. That can’t be right though.
I frown a little harder and glance at the video doorbell I hadn’t noticed before. Well, that’s fucking embarrassing. Was he just sitting inside watching me brood on his porch for the last ten minutes like an idiot?
“Sorry,” I mumble.
He waves me off like it’s nothing and steps aside so I can come in.
“Some guys from the hardware store dropped off a shit ton of drywall and insulation earlier. It’s all piled up in the living room.”
“Perfect,” I grunt, taking a whiff of the air as I step inside and close the door behind me. The smell of spices, peppers, and chicken makes my mouth water and my belly rumble.
Ledger smiles, all toothy and proud and… fuck, I want to kiss him. Is that allowed? We’ve only kissed in the context of getting naked together. Kissing for no reason at all, just because he smiled in a way that made it impossible not to, means something completely different.
Do I want that?
Does he?
“You’re awfully scowly tonight.” He steps closer and runs his thumb along the downturned shape of my lips.
Something warm sparks in my chest, and before I can overthink it for another second, I hook a hand behind his neck and drag him in, kissing him with his fingers sandwiched between our mouths and the muffled sound of his laughter vibrating against my lips. He slips his fingers free, smiling against my mouth as he parts his lips to let my tongue in, his body melting into mine.
When I let him go, I’m not sure what to say. Should I explain myself? Should I apologize again for this morning?
“Come on. The sooner we get started, the sooner we can eat enchiladas.” He waggles his eyebrows at me, a smile still playing on his damp lips as he leads me into the living room to get started on the next step of the repairs.
Placing the new insulation and hanging drywall isn’t much more difficult than tearing the ruined walls apart was. And just like before, Ledger is eager to learn and not afraid to jump right in once I show him.
I’ve always found something soothing and grounding about repetitive tasks like this. When I was a moody teenager, my dad used to send me out into the backyard to chop wood when I needed to clear my mind or get my emotions under control. Ledger isn’t as chatty as usual tonight, but he seems relaxed in the silence of our shared labor. Maybe that’s what loosens my tongue unexpectedly.
“He died nearly a decade ago. He was an ER nurse, on his way to work at the ass crack of dawn, and somebody in the oncoming lane of traffic fell asleep at the wheel. They said he died on impact, probably didn’t even have time to realize what was happening.” My eyes are on my work, but I can hear the soft, sympathetic sound Ledger makes across the room.
“That had to fucking suck.”
I snort without any humor. No one ever knows what to say when you tell them depressing shit like that. Usually they stumble over “I’m so sorry” or just look at you with pity. Ledger cuts right to the heart of it though, and fuck, I like that about him.
“It really did. We were together for a long time; met through friends in our twenties. Fuck knows what he saw in me, but he was good for me.” The words tumble out, a little easier now that I’m talking about Riley the person and not just the accident that took him from me. “He was funny and loud, always the center of attention everywhere we went. Everybody loved him. It was impossible not to. You remind me a lot of him, actually.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, heat rushes to my face and I bite down on my tongue.
“Shit, I hope that didn’t sound bad. I don’t mean that I only like you because you remind me of him.” I rush on. “Not that I like you.” I swallow hard. “Not that I don’t like you.”
What am I, in middle school? This is why I choose to communicate primarily in grunts and scowls—much less chance to make an ass out of myself. I risk a glance over my shoulder and he’s looking right back, red in the face from trying not to laugh, biting his lip with his shoulders shaking with silent amusement.
“Message unclear, big bear, do you like like me or not?” he teases, finally cracking and letting out a peal of laughter. “Tell you what, pass me a note in chemistry.”
I growl and shoot him a glare without any heat behind it. The knot in my chest loosens though. Ledger is easy to talk to. Even when I do shove my foot directly into my mouth or act like an ass without meaning to, he’s ready with a snarky comment that smooths it all over.
“I’m guessing you haven’t dated much since Riley?”
“Is it that obvious?” I deadpan. “I figured I was hiding it well behind all this charm.”
He chuckles again. “I’m charmed.”
I’m sure he’s just being sweet and reassuring, going out of his way to make me feel like I’m not fumbling whatever is happening between us. But he says it so simply, like it just is , that it’s easy to pretend that maybe it’s true. Maybe he could like me a little bit too?
Hell, I managed to win Riley over with my resting grump face and limited communication skills, maybe it’s not too much to hope I could get lucky twice.
I’m not going to get ahead of myself. As far as I know this is still just a little bit of fun for Ledger and a way to get his house fixed up without emptying his bank account, and I’m fine with that. I guess I’m just easing open the door to the possibility that there could be something more and that I might want that.
Maybe.
LEDGER
“Alright, if I don’t eat in the next five minutes, I’m going to pull a TP and start chewing on this drywall,” I declare, tugging my shirt up to wipe the sweat off of my face.
Griff makes a noise that sounds a lot like agreement. Considering his stomach has growled three times in the last fifteen minutes, I’m sure he doesn’t mind me calling an end to our work for the night.
“Mind if I wash up?” He holds up his hands, and I nod towards the hallway.
“Of course. You know where the bathroom is.”
While he does that, I head into the kitchen, washing my hands in the sink in there and then putting some music on. Hearing Griff in the other room as I put the finishing touches on dinner and pull out plates and silverware feels so domestic I can almost convince myself that it’s the real deal. That I’m not just bribing my hot, grumpy neighbor to do handiwork with dinner and sexual favors, that he’s mine and I’m his and this is a relationship based on things that aren’t transactional or fleeting.
Griff opened up to me tonight, but there’s no telling whether he’ll panic about that tomorrow and build his walls back up twice as high. I’ve seen it before, but, fuck, I want to believe he’s different. This feels different.
I open the cupboard to grab glasses and laugh when I find TP curled up inside, napping, all the glasses toppled over or shoved out of the way.
“Excuse me, Princess Trash Panda,” I say politely, grabbing a couple of glasses and then closing the cupboard again so she can continue with her beauty rest.
Griff steps into the kitchen with a lost-puppy expression on his face, tucking his hands into his pockets then pulling them out again like he’s not sure what to do with himself. I bite back a smile and nod at the small kitchen table.
“Take a seat. I’ll dish up the food and bring it over.”
“Thanks, it smells incredible.”
“Wait until you taste it, it’s better than sex.” I chuckle, remembering the way he fucked me into the mattress last night, the sounds of his growls and my name on his lips still echoing in my ears even now, twenty-four hours later. “Well, better than some sex,” I amend, shooting him a wink.
His cheeks pink and his eyes take on a smolder that lets me know he’s thinking about last night too.
I fill our plates and carry them over to the table. As soon as I sit down Griff nudges his foot against mine under the table, his eyes fixed on his plate and a shy expression on his face. I love how much he craves touching me, even if he hasn’t figured out how to ask for it yet. I scoot my chair closer to his, screeching across the tile floor without an ounce of subtlety until I can put one hand on his thigh while I use the other to eat.
He makes a contented rumbling sound in his chest as he picks up his fork and digs in. I watch him take the first bite, obsessed with all his micro expressions, like the flutter of his eyelashes and the little twitch in his cheek. He groans and everything about the sound lights up my insides.
“Good, right?”
“Better than some sex,” he says, his lips twitching and then curling into a cheeky smirk for half a second before he takes his next bite.
Satisfied that he’s enjoying the food, I finally dig into my own.
“Do you ever go to the county fair?” It might be a non sequitur, but I defy anyone to come up with a smooth way to sneakily set up a date like this.
He chews slowly for a second then nods. “Stone has this obsession with farm animals, goats in particular, and he usually ends up dragging all of us along.”
“Did you see they’re doing a goat lingerie show there this year?” I laugh, and Griff’s face screws up with confusion.
“What in the hillbilly fuck is a goat lingerie show?” He shakes his head without even waiting for an answer. “Whatever it is, I guarantee Stone is going to want to go.”
“There’s always good food there too.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to drop hints or trying to give him more reasons to go. He nods and grunts in agreement. “Maybe we’ll see each other there?”
He scrunches his eyebrows together and stares at me. He darts his tongue out to lick some stray sauce off his lip and grunts again.
“Maybe…” He clears his throat. “Maybe we could go together.”
“That would be awesome. Honestly, the way you’re selling it, I feel like I need to be there to see Stone enter the holy land of goats.”
“Trust me, if anything I’m underselling it.”
“Count me in then.” I slide my hand a little farther up his thigh and take another bite of my food.
You can lead a bear to the carnival, but you can’t make him ask for a date. This is pretty damn close though, even if he’s not actually going to use the word date, I’ll take it.
Once we’re finished eating, an awkward silence descends between us for just a minute. Griff looks at me with shy, eager heat in his eyes like he’s dying to ask whether I’m going to ‘pay’ him for his work tonight but doesn’t want to be rude or presumptuous. I lick my lips and inch my hand up his thigh, my attention fixed on the flutter of his eyelashes and the way the muscles in his face slacken. He presses into my touch and squirms subtly in his seat.
My cock throbs impatiently, but I ignore it, giving Griff a filthy smile and then slipping under the table. He makes a surprised sound that’s muffled by the table between us. I crawl between his legs and run both hands up his thick, denim-clad thighs this time. He spreads his legs and grunts, his stiffening cock straining against his zipper.
I lean in and press my nose against his bulge. He gasps and clenches his thighs around me, his fingers tangling in my hair as I nuzzle his erection, his jeans chafing against my cheeks and the heat of his body teasingly muted. My ass is still aching in the best way from last night. I clench around the phantom feeling of fullness and my cock spasms and drools precum.
“Ledge,” Griff pants my name in a strangled voice.
I grin and lick the seam of his jeans right over his sac, then reach for his zipper. He whines and lifts his hips, fumbling to help me free his cock. It springs out and sways just inches from my lips, his mushroom head red with arousal and just begging for my mouth. The scent of his musk hits me full force too, making my mouth water and my own cock ache with need.
I lean in and hover with my lips millimeters from his cockhead, close enough to taste the salty tang of precum when I inhale. He whimpers and squirms again, tugging at my hair without any force behind it, just impatience and horny desperation. He can’t see anything I’m doing under here, all he can do is guess my next move. There’s something kind of hot about that. Will I tease him with little flicks of my tongue or open wide and swallow him down whole? All he can do is wait to find out. I chuckle and my breath puffs against his erection, making it twitch and drawing another throaty sound from him.
I dip down a little lower and bury my nose against the base of his cock, feeling his balls tighten against the brush of my mouth. Then, I unfurl my tongue and drag a long, slow lick from root to tip. Griff lifts his ass off the chair again, clenching his fingers in my hair and moaning. I do it again, feeling his cock twitch and throb against my tongue.
“Please,” he rasps. “Ledge.”
I hum at the sound of my name on his tongue like a prayer, then wrap my lips around his crown. I lap over his cockhead and fist the base of his shaft, coaxing a burst of fresh precum out that makes me moan around him. Fuck teasing, I want to devour this man.
I slide my hands up, slipping them under his shirt to run them over his soft, sexy stomach and tease his belly button. Griff whimpers and his hips twitch as I ease down onto his cock, relaxing my throat and lapping at his shaft with every inch I take. The weight of his erection on my tongue has my balls pulling tight and a needy, horny feeling heating up my gut.
I bob my head, taking him deep over and over, my throat convulsing around him every time I swallow him down. Spit dribbles from the corners of my lips and I hum and groan, making muffled, hungry sounds that vibrate through his shaft. His balls pull up closer and closer to his body and his thighs quake on either side of me, curses and praise falling from his lips as he gets lost in the rhythm right along with me, rocking his hips to meet my downward thrusts. I jerk and squirm involuntarily, cursing the all-wrong friction of my throbbing cock trapped inside my jeans still, soaking my briefs with precum.
I hum and slurp, making filthy noises around his cock. Griff’s belly tightens and quivers under my touch until his entire body is trembling and his hips are snapping wildly, chasing his orgasm as his cock grows stiffer and stiffer against my tongue. I take him as deep as I can one more time and he shouts my name, grinding his hips against my face, his pubic hair tickling my nose as he lets out a shout and starts to pulse. I coax my tongue along his spasming shaft, my cock aching in sympathy as he spills down my throat.
I suck and lick him until the pulsing slows, the last few dribbles of his cum landing on my tongue as he eases his oversensitive cock out of my mouth. I wipe the back of my hand over my wet, messy lips and crawl out from under the table. Griff meets my gaze with wild eyes, and before I can even think of anything cheeky or flirtatious to say, he shoves our dirty dishes out of the way, the silverware clattering noisily to the floor, and hoists me up onto the table.
I gasp as he wrenches my jeans open with an intense look on his face, his chest still heaving from his orgasm. He doesn’t bother teasing or making me beg this time, just descends on me like he’s dying of thirst and my cock is an eternal spring. His mouth is hot and wet and insistent, wrapping around me and fucking consuming me. He grunts and growls, his eyes locked on mine as he takes me into his throat over and over again. I was already on the edge, so it doesn’t take long before I’m bowing off the table and screaming his name hoarsely, spilling rope after rope of cum onto his eager tongue.
He releases my wet cock and then grabs my hips to drag me to the edge of the table, slamming his mouth into mine just as desperately as he devoured my cock. We trade tongue-heavy kisses, the salty flavor of our cum mingling, panting against each other’s damp, swollen lips. I slide my hands under his shirt again and pet his belly as our kisses slow and Griff eventually pulls away.
“I should go,” he murmurs.
Stay . I bite my tongue against the urge to say it out loud and nod.