19. Chapter 19
Chapter 19
LEDGER
Steak and peppers sizzle loudly in the pan, filling the kitchen with a mouthwatering scent that makes my stomach rumble. I glance towards the front door reflexively, the crick in my neck telling me just how often I’ve been doing it over the last half hour. Sure, I could turn down the music so I’ll be able to hear Griff pull into the driveway, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to listen to Dua Lipa at anything less than eardrum shattering levels.
I shimmy to the beat and mouth along to the words while I stir the food. TP tugs on my jeans, and I look down to see her extending one greedy hand towards me, hoping for a little snack.
“Girl, have a little shame, please.” I tut, looking away from her to take a quick glance around the kitchen to make sure she hasn’t caused any damage while I’ve been distracted.
Maybe bringing her along was more stress than it was worth. I’ve been feeling guilty though about how much time I’m spending away from her now that I’m sleeping at Griff’s so often. If she weren’t such a drywall-eating terror, I would just ask Griff if he wouldn’t mind her coming over too when I stay the night, but our relationship is way too new for me to let my chonky baby girl eat his house. That’s the kind of thing you hope the guy doesn’t think about until after you’ve tied the knot—kidnapping or marriage, I’m not picky at this point.
I boop TP affectionately on the nose and keep dancing, going from lip syncing to full-on scream-singing along with the next song. She winds between my legs until I set down the spatula and stoop to pick her up. I hold her like a baby, bouncing her to the music, and she holds her arms up like she’s on a roller coaster as I spin around, singing to her about levitating. I stop mid-verse when my eyes land on my hunky boyfriend standing a few feet away.
I was expecting his usual scowl at the surprise of coming home to a not-so-empty house, but that’s not what I get at all. His keys are dangling from his fingers and he’s still as a statue, just staring into the kitchen at me and TP. He looks stunned, like someone hit him upside the head with a frying pan and scrambled his brain, except his eyes look a little misty. Oh shit, is he about to cry? That’s probably a bad reaction, right?
I give TP a quick kiss on the snoot and drop her, putting on my best disarming smile.
“Surprise?” I say, and then realize he probably can’t hear me over the music.
I pat my pockets in search of my phone so I can stop the playlist, looking around the messy—totally my fault and I swear I’m going to clean up after dinner—kitchen until I spot it. I snatch it off the counter next to the stove and hit the pause button on my music app. When I look up again, Griff is right there, filling my whole field of vision, smelling like sawdust and sweat in the best way.
“Sorry, I—”
He cuts me off, grabbing my face in his warm, calloused hands and claiming my lips. I sink happily into the kiss, savoring the syrupy slow strokes of his tongue and the purring rumble vibrating in his chest.
Griff breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine, caressing along my jaw with his thumb. Up close, I can see the emotions burning in his eyes even clearer.
“I haven’t come home to chaos and noise like this in a long fucking time.” His voice is tight.
He swallows hard and kisses me roughly again. I hum happily against his lips and card my fingers through his hair to stroke his scalp. The smell of burning peppers forces me to break the kiss after another minute so our dinner isn’t ruined.
“This is about ready, but if you want to hop in the shower real quick, I can keep it warm in the oven for a few minutes.” I reach over to turn the music back on—at a more reasonable level this time.
“Alright, just give me five.” He kisses the side of my head and then disappears down the hall.
A happy, domestic feeling fills me at the sound of the shower running while I pull out silverware and clean up the kitchen. Is it too soon to tell Griff I want to marry him and have a dozen little bear cubs? Actually, scratch that—I don’t want kids, I’d rather get a dozen more baby raccoons. But I’m all for trying our damnedest for Griff to knock me up. I groan and adjust my swelling cock.
It’s only a few more minutes before the shower shuts off again, and not long after that, Griff is back in the kitchen, his work clothes traded for a fresh t-shirt and a pair of jeans, his hair damp and slicked back. I sniff in his direction and eye him in surprise.
“I know that smell. It’s Leather and Whiskey from Goose Soap Co. on Palm Island.”
“I figured it was time for some changes. My store-brand bodywash was fine, but this is a lot nicer. I actually really like this scent. I might be really annoyed if he discontinues it at some point.” His lips twitch in a shy smile like he’s making a big confession. “Here, let me get plates out.”
He opens the cupboard, and I notice immediately that his bodywash isn’t the only change he decided to make. All of his mugs have been replaced with ones that have a lot more personality—different shapes, funny sayings, one of them even has an impractical bird-shaped handle.
“What’s all this?”
“Like I said, making some changes.” Griff rubs the back of his neck. “I realized I was trying to protect myself from things hurting by building a life where nothing mattered to me. I’m done with that. It was lonely, and I don’t want to be lonely anymore.”
Oh my god, so much squish. I fling my arms around him and cover his face in kisses until he rumbles a laugh.
“Does this mean I can buy you fun underwear?”
“Will it all feature bird-related puns about my dick?” He arches an eyebrow.
“Not all of it.” I grin shamelessly, already mentally adding items to my cart to surprise him with.
“Fine,” he sighs, playfully slapping my ass and then reaching for the plates. He pulls a couple down and a piece of paper flutters out and lands by our feet. “What’s that?”
I bend down to pick it up, already laughing. I forgot I hid this in his kitchen. That feels like a lifetime ago now instead of a handful of weeks. I unfold the paper and show him the message I wrote.
“ I can’t stop thinking about you ~ Your Secret Admirer ”
A second eyebrow joins the first, inching up his forehead as he looks between me and the note.
“I left this a little while back,” I explain.
“You realize that if I’d found that before you came clean about being my secret admirer, this note would have been extremely creepy?”
I frown and read it back. What’s so creepy about a note from someone you don’t know, telling you they’re thinking about you, hidden in your kitchen… Okay, I get it.
I cackle and crumple the note up.
“Well, nothing to worry about. Your secret admirer wasn’t some weirdo stalker, it’s just me, the guy who’s been watching you through the window for months, occasionally touching myself while you innocently sipped your coffee, and now breaking into your house to cook you dinner.”
“When you put it like that, it’s not creepy at all,” he deadpans. “How did you get in here, by the way?”
I wave him off and take the plates from him so I can dish up our food.
“The normal way. You know, climbed in through an open window then unlocked the door so I could go back and grab supplies for dinner and my pet raccoon.”
“Oh, right, the normal way.” Griff chuckles, wrapping his arms around me from behind and kissing the back of my neck. “You’re a freak, you know that?”
“Psh. You lo—” I clear my throat. “ Like me,” I correct quickly.
He hums, brushing his lips against the nape of my neck one more time. “I do lo-like you, so I suppose I’ll let a little light breaking and entering slide. But maybe I’ll have a key made for you too, so next time you can just use the front door.”
“Thank you, I appreciate that. I’m too pretty to go to prison.”
GRIFF
I rumble happily through every bite of dinner, music still playing in the background and Ledger jumping up every minute or two to tell TP to stop whatever she’s doing, even after I repeatedly assure him that it’s fine. Was there really a time when I convinced myself that silence and solitude were better than this?
When we’re done eating, I take on cleaning up since he cooked. Ledger keeps me company while I load the dishwasher and wipe down the counters though, chattering away as always and managing to put himself directly in my path at every turn, making the whole process take twice as long. And I’m not bothered by it one damn bit.
Once I’m finished cleaning up, I reach up into the cabinet over the refrigerator and pull out a bottle of tequila, shaking it at him enticingly.
“What do you say we grab a blanket off the bed and take it out onto the deck for a nightcap and stargazing?”
Ledger gives me those big, watery emoji eyes and nods, then runs down the hallway to snag the comforter off my bed. While I lay it out on the deck, he takes TP home so he doesn’t have to worry about her chewing through my walls or scampering off into the night, and when he gets back we lie down together and get comfortable.
I uncap the tequila and bring it to my lips to take a sip, sputtering as soon as it hits my tongue. It’s been awhile since I’ve drunk anything stronger than beer. He laughs and takes the bottle when I hold it out, still coughing and wiping the back of my hand across my mouth. He tilts it to his lips and takes a swig, his throat bobbing with his swallow. When he lowers it again, a small dribble of tequila escapes his lips to run down his chin. I lean over and lap it off of his skin, loving the rasp of his two-day stubble against my tongue and the taste of him overpowering the alcohol.
I grunt happily and nip at his chin, rolling closer to him and kissing my way up to his lips. I trace the shape of his smile with my tongue, and he parts his lips to tempt me to lick into his mouth. I suck on his bottom lip and then take the bottle back from him for another drink. We trade it back and forth for a few minutes, teasing each other with almost-kisses in between sips until we’re both lightheaded, giggly, and horny.
I set the bottle aside and lie flat on my back, pulling Ledger close to rest his head on my shoulder and tangle our fingers together.
“Do you know any constellations or anything?” I ask, a relaxed buzz from the food and alcohol and Ledge’s closeness making me feel like I’m floating.
“No, my knowledge stops at birds and forest conservation. I could make some up though.”
I chuckle, his head bouncing with the movement of my shoulder.
“Alright, what’s that?” I point to a random cluster of stars off to the left.
“Ah, that is the Camel’s Anus constellation, first discovered by the ancient Egyptians in the year seventy-five.”
“Don’t they usually have stories that go along with them?” I ask, fighting a smile.
“Of course. The, um, Pharaoh Hemo mphmph … he had his favorite camel, Humphrey, who he lusted for, because ancient stories are always weirdly full of bestiality—”
I put a hand over his mouth before he can say any more. “Alright, that’s enough.”
He shoves my hand away, laughing. “No, wait, I was just about to get to the best part about their forbidden love and how Humphrey’s anus was immortalized for eternity in the stars.”
“Stop. Stop forever.” I cover his mouth again and we tussle playfully as he tries to dislodge it, rolling and grappling across the blanket until we end up with Ledger straddling me and our lips only an inch apart.
He smiles at me in the darkness, sliding his hand under my shirt to stroke my belly, a few strands of his hair falling over his forehead and his breath ghosting over my lips.
“You know, Jericho had this whole theory that my thing for grumpy bears was some subconscious way of sabotaging relationships for myself to keep from getting hurt.”
“You don’t agree with him?” I ask.
Ledger shakes his head. “No. I think I just always liked the challenge of making a scowly, closed-off guy smile.” He grins wider and closes the minuscule space between our lips. The kiss is slow and sweet and over too soon, leaving me aching when he pulls back to nuzzle his nose against mine. “That, and grumpy bears are just stupidly hot.”
I bark out a laugh and kiss him again. As our tongues tangle, I think back to that night I saw him out on his deck, drunk and giggling with Jericho. I didn’t even know him then, but some part of me recognized the light I craved. Some part of me wanted to slink out of the shadows and bask in his warmth. I can feel his heart beating against my chest and mine slows to match it, the two of us sinking deeper into the kiss without any sense of urgency.
The future is always uncertain, but that won’t stop me from greedily hoarding every minute of happiness I can get with Ledger. It won’t stop me from planning and daydreaming about years from now, decades even, imagining a future with him that we’ll work together to build. Nights like these, drinking and kissing under the stars, weekends together hiking in the U.P., lazy Sunday mornings where we can’t be bothered to get out of bed… I want all of it.
“You shone a bright light on my life, Ledge, and you filled it with colors I thought I’d lost years ago,” I murmur roughly against his lips. “I never thought I’d fall in love again, but you made it impossible not to. Falling for you was like coming home, safe and easy and right on this bone-deep level that I can’t ignore.” My voice quivers and I clear my throat, cupping his jaw in one hand and staring into his eyes so I know he hears every word and feels everything he’s awoken inside of me just by being him. “I love you.”
“Who knew there was such a squishy, overstuffed teddy bear under the grizzly exterior?” His eyes are soft and his lips trembling in spite of his cavalier smile. “I’m stupid in love with you, Griff. I’m not obsessed, not infatuated, not filling in all the blanks of your grunts and growls with a caricature of my perfect man… I’m just in love with you.”
A relieved sob catches in my chest, and we fall into another kiss right there under the stars.