Chapter 18
The morning ride from the farm to town and the time before and after the church service were made in subdued and tense silence. Elsie left her family with a clipped goodbye, feeling relieved and not at all sorry she wouldn’t see her parents for at least another week and maybe longer.
She had a fierce need to pour her sadness and resentment into Miss Taylor’s ear, feeling sure her employer would understand. She impatiently waited until they finished with the business of the shop and then went upstairs. Miss Taylor seemed to understand Elsie’s desire to talk, and they didn’t even stop to change out of their Sunday clothes and make tea.
Sitting at the table together, Elsie launched into her story.
Miss Taylor listened with intent, often nodding, or making a sound of encouragement. But she didn’t interrupt, letting Elsie wind down to a stop.
“I don’t blame you for being upset with your father’s high-handed and old-fashioned need to marry you off. And I hope you know you have a job here, forever if you want.”
“What about Hank?” Elsie asked, her tone bitter.
“Well, I don’t know.” Miss Taylor seemed to choose her words carefully. “Hank’s been… obviously interested in you. But I never had the impression that he was planning on moving so quickly. Just the opposite, in fact.” She paused. “Elsie, I think you did both of you a disservice by not at least hearing him out.”
“I couldn’t. I was too angry, too hurt.”
Miss Taylor held up a restraining hand. “Not speaking in anger is important, so you don’t lose control and say hurtful things you don’t mean. After cooling off, though, a discussion is crucial.”
Elsie looked down, idly running a finger to trace the grain in the wood of the tabletop. She wasn’t ready to give in.
“If you want to cut Hank out of your life after having discussed the matter, that’s one thing. But you don’t cut people out of your life without trying to first resolve the situation.”
Elsie stubbornly resisted letting in Miss Taylor’s advice, even though, deep inside, she knew her employer was right.
“I certainly wouldn’t want you to do that with me . If you were upset and stopped talking to me? Turned your back on me? Nor would I want to cut you off without first discussing what was bothering me.”
The idea horrified Elsie. Frantically, she waved her hands in a negating motion. “No, no, no.”
“So why would it be different with Hank?”
“I just felt so betrayed!” Elsie’s feelings came out in a wail. “Hank knows I didn’t want to get married! I told him I didn’t want to get married until I was at least twenty , maybe longer! I thought he understood ! We’d been having so much fun. Then he ruined everything!”
“Is Hank really the type of man to not take your wishes into consideration? He doesn’t strike me that way. But you’ve spent more time with him, maybe you’ve seen him in a different light.”
Mutely, her stomach in knots, Elsie shook her head. She reviewed her reactions with dismay. “Although, I’m reluctant to admit the truth, you’re right.” She let out a breath. “Do you think Hank will want to talk, even though I turned him away twice.”
“They do say, ‘three times a charm.’ Hank doesn’t seem to me to be a man who gives up. I’m certain, he’ll provide you with another chance to talk things through. However,” Miss Taylor rose, “between now and then, best do some serious thinking about what you really want.”
The next day in the shop, after an almost sleepless night of thinking, Elsie worked hard to hide her fatigue. She almost felt ready to see Hank on Sunday, that is if he came to church, and she was grateful to have practically a whole week to figure out what to say.
But as she rearranged lace in the cabinet, she looked up to see him strolling into the dress shop, holding a bouquet of red roses. She froze.
He touched the brim of his Stetson, his brown eyes serious.
Her heart gave a huge thump and her stomach squeezed. She didn’t know whether to run toward him or run away.
Miss Taylor rescued her, bustling over. “Hank.” She touched a bloom. “Looks like the ones growing in the Cameron’s yard.”
His smile looked strained. “Might have had some help from Dr. Angus.”
Looking back and forth from Hank to Elsie, Miss Taylor directed a graceful wave toward the ceiling. “I’ll give you two one half hour alone to talk.” After that, I’m coming up.”
“Yes, ma’am,” they chorused, but then carefully avoided looking at each other.
Once in the apartment, Hank hung up his Stetson, while Elsie bustled about, putting the roses in a vase. She wanted to draw out the task, but knowing they had a limited time, she made herself finish quickly before setting the vase in the middle of the table.
Taking a breath of the rose-scented air, she sat in one of the chairs at the table and gestured for Hank to sit across from her. She couldn’t bear to look at him but primly positioned herself with her lower limbs tight together and her hands clasped in her lap.
A heavy silence descended. Finally, Elsie looked up and met his gaze. “I didn’t give you a chance to talk or hear you out, and that was wrong. I should have listened to what you wanted to tell me.” She leaned forward. “But, Hank, I just felt so shocked and betrayed.”
“You weren’t the only one.” He smiled ruefully. “Your pa pounced on me like a barn cat on an unsuspecting mouse, and then picked me up in his fangs and carried me off, dropping me at your feet like some kind of matrimonial offering.”
The imagery brought out a ghost of a giggle.
“What really happened was…your father took me aside to probe…. I mentioned wanting to court you, and before I could tell him that we weren’t in a hurry, that you had years in front of you to enjoy working in town, that…” Frowning, he held up a hand, as if swearing an oath to tell the truth. “If I had known what he intended, I would have put my foot down…no, dug in my heels, pulled him back, and said ‘ Stop !’”
As she listened, Elsie started to relax and even feel a bit foolish—not at her reaction to her father’s matrimonial bolt from the blue but in her complete avoidance of Hank.
He set his forearms on the table. “I’d have told him, ‘I love your daughter, sir. But you and I are not talking to Elsie about marriage, not pressuring her. And she and I are certainly not about to wed anytime soon.’”
Hank loves me? She sucked in a breath. Butterflies took wing in her stomach.
“‘When she’s ready—’” he looked intently at her “— you’re ready, that will be different.”
“Oh, Hank!” She slid a hand halfway across the table but wasn’t ready to stretch farther.
“Might not be until you’re eighty-five, Elsie.” An eyebrow arched. “But I certainly hope you don’t make me wait that long because I would like children.”
Her fingers inched a bit closer to him. “I do want children, someday . But I also don’t want to give up my work. I have dresses I want to design and craft. I want to make women look and feel their best. I love helping Miss Taylor create an outfit that gives a woman a good feeling about herself. That secret smile when she tries on a new dress and views herself in the mirror is special . Watching her face light up fills me with joy.”
He touched the back of her hand. “I don’t want you to give that up either. I love you, and your happiness would fill me with joy. How about, someday , say when you’re eighty-five or so, living in town? I could buy some land and build a house.”
Her skin warmed under his touch. Elsie longed for the dream he described. But then came a wave of guilt for her selfishness. She pulled back her hand. “How can you give up living on Three Bend Lake? The natural beauty and the swans and Brian and Torin and sweet, sweet Jewel.”
“Because I’d have my sweet, sweet Elsie. And my honor and desire would be to make her happy.”
She sat back and crossed her arms, glaring at him.
“What have I just said that set you off?” He crossed his arms to mimic her posture.
“It wouldn’t make me happy for you to give up your home at Three Bend Lake. You belong there. You said so yourself.” She blew out a long breath. “But it wouldn’t make me happy to give up living in town, either.”
With a sigh, Hank leaned forward to put an elbow on the table and rub his chin. Then he straightened. “What I really must give up is my own stubbornness and resentment.”
She sent him a questioning look.
Standing, he strode to the window, looking out for a moment.
Elsie waited for him to wrestle his thoughts into order.
He turned back and then lowered himself to the settee. “My grandfather was a tyrant, trying to mold me into following his footsteps as a ruthless business owner. I wasn’t the least bit interested in the company. We had a horrible quarrel that resulted in my packing a few things and the money I had on hand and lighting out on the first train west. Didn’t go all that far. After my ire cooled, I hopped off at the very next town.”
Entranced by the story, Elsie moved to the settee to sit next to him. She turned to see his face, noting how his features had become so dear. “Sweetwater Springs?”
“I poked around. Explored the area. Asked questions. Knew I wanted solitude and to live by a lake.” He lifted his arms and curled his hands into fists. “I wanted to see what I could build with these. When my grandfather died, I inherited half of his house and other property, including the business. I tried to give my share to my sister, but she refused. We sold the business, and the money has sat untouched in the bank ever since.”
“I can’t really understand you turning your back on an easier life, given how hard-scrabble mine has been. But I do see what you mean by stubborn and resentful. And I can’t blame you. After all, I’ve just had a dreadful quarrel with my parents. I’m feeling resentful of their attempts to control me. I don’t know if we can ever repair the damage. After you left, they barely spoke to me.”
He reached for her hand and squeezed. “Unlike you—” he lightly bopped her nose with one finger “—the next morning your parents did listen when I explained our circumstances. Your parents aren’t very articulate people, Elsie, but they looked troubled. I think they were quiet with you, not because they’re angry, but because they haven’t yet figured out how to apologize. I didn’t get the sense they have a lot of practice with saying they are sorry, especially to their children.”
Elsie nodded, feeling some empathy for her parents. She remembered the first time Miss Taylor had apologized to her and how disconcerted she’d been. In her experience, grownups didn’t apologize. Only children did after they’d done something wrong. But her employer freely apologized when she forgot something or occasionally spoke with an edge in her tone, and, from her example, Elsie was learning to do likewise. “I guess I’ll have to help them with that conversation.”
He gazed at her with pride. “That would probably clear the air. Now…back to us. We have choices , Elsie. We could live part of the time in Three Bend Lake. With your own sewing machine, you could continue to work. We could spend the winter and part of the rest of the year in town. Or we could live in town and enjoy a couple of days at a time by the lake.”
Elsie couldn’t quite take in what she was hearing. Well, she heard Hank’s words , but the concepts were too immense to sink in. “But what about when children come along?”
He leaned back, smiling. “I’m pretty good with Jewel. Torin’s managed to raise her just fine on his own with a little help from Brian and me. I see no reason I couldn’t do the same with ours. I certainly would want to spend more time with them than fathers usually do. But, if need be, we also could hire staff—a housekeeper, a nanny.”
The idea was almost incomprehensible. Her thoughts raced. She couldn’t quite make them form a picture of the future. “I can’t imagine such a life.”
He gave her a hopeful look. “But you’re not opposed to the idea? To starting to imagine us together?” He kissed the the back of her hand, and then turned it over to press his lips to her wrist.
Tingles feathered through her body. “I love you. too.”
“Will you marry me in about ten years or so? Please don’t make me wait until you’re eighty-five”
Elsie couldn’t help but giggle at his silly proposal, even as her heart pounded. “I think we can do better, Hank Canfield. But I can’t promise you exactly when.”
His eyes gleamed with amusement. “I’m not asking you when , Elsie Bailey. I’m asking if you will .”
“Then I can answer yes . Yes, I will marry you someday.” She squeezed his hand. “Shall we seal our deal?” she boldly asked and tilted up her face in an invitation.
He bent closer, looking tenderly into her eyes. “And here I thought I’d have to wait sixty-eight years for this,” he murmured.
“How about, instead, I promise sixty-eight years of kisses?”
“Sixty-eight years, eh,” he drawled. “That’s quite a proposition.” His tone teased, but a hint of moisture showed in his eyes.
Happy tears blurred her vision. “Kisses and love.”
Hank’s hands skimmed the side of her face in a soft caress, before he touched his lips to hers and sealed their agreement with a kiss.