Experiment 1.01 – Subject Wilde, L.
Title: The Oral Baseline
Measuring Blowjob Efficacy via Ego Rupture
“Mmmm, Luc. That was…wow.” Rowan groans and pulls Luca up from the floor, lifting him onto the counter.
He doesn’t pull back right away—big hands settling on Luca’s knees, massaging away the last of the sting from the hard floor. When he leans in to catch a stray drop of come at the corner of Luca’s mouth, he doesn’t look away.
Luca loves to hear that he’s pleased his mates almost as much as he enjoys tasting the fruits of his labor.
“Yeah, almost as good as—” Rowan’s eyes go wide as if he’d said something he hadn’t intended—and that he expected to get shit for it.
And he very much was about to get shit for it.
“Excuse me?” Luca almost—sort of—shrieks.
He keeps his voice down—mostly—because he doesn’t need Gideon in here looking to murder someone. Yet. Again. Whatever.
“What do you mean ‘almost as good as?’ As good as whom? Rowan, I have given the best blowjobs in this house for years. I have been voted Best On His Knees for almost nine years running.” The poll isn’t official or anything, but still…
every one of Luca’s mates has said so—before, after, and during the skill-share portion of the event.
Because it’s true, Luca loves blowjobs. Like Leo (who is still rising through the ranks of blowjob mastery), Luca loves a cock in his mouth.
Loves the taste, the feel, and the absolute thrill of the power that comes from making someone he loves come their brains out.
It’s a very particular skill, and one Luca relishes the practice of at least twice a day.
But now, Rowan is besmirching his cock-flavored honor with his “prevarication” face and his sexy mouth. Fuck him.
It’s hard to tell if Rowan’s cheeks are extra pink because of his orgasm or because he has started a conversation he would give anything to avoid. Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, he clears his throat before saying, “I can explain.”
Luca rewards him for his attempts to soothe by refraining from ripping his alpha’s knot off. Don’t judge him, it’s a really, really nice knot. Luca needs to protect his interests.
Narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms, Luca gives him a nod. “Go ahead. I’m listening, and this better be good.”
Rowan’s eyes dart away, and he clears his throat.
Suspicious.
Instead of explaining right away, he straightens his shoulders and takes a clean glass from the dishwasher, filling it from the fridge’s water dispenser.
He then steals—at the risk of his own life for the second time in the last five minutes—a chocolate from Gideon’s box on the counter as a peace offering.
But Luca will not be appeased by a contraband chocolate-covered cherry.
“Well, you give great head. Really good. Obviously.” He waves a hand at his still-not-quite-softened cock. “But…”
“But!?” Luca yells again. He is really starting to get offended.
“I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I can’t lie, right? I love your blowjobs, truly I do, but Nix does better.” He shrugs his massive shoulders and tries to put a regretful grimace on his traitorous face. “Just saying.”
Luca’s mouth drops open. “Did you just tell me that Nix Rhodes gives better blowjobs? Than me? I am the Fidalgo of Fellatio. The Princess of Penis. I am the King of Cock,” he sputters.
“Well, I’m just saying that maybe you have competition for that top spot, you know?”
No, Luca did not know. What the hell.
Rowan pops a chocolate in his mouth before kissing Luca’s cheek. The cheek that had his come on it not five minutes ago. “Thanks for the orgasm, Luc. I’ve got an acting class online. See you.”
Luca is left sitting on the counter, mouth agape, the taste of cherries and come reminding him of Rowan’s challenging words.
It can’t be true. Nix does admittedly give great head; enthusiastic, sweet, and without a gag reflex. Luca knows because he’s been on the receiving end more than once. But the best? No fucking way.
Maybe he needs another opinion.
Jumping down from the counter, he makes his way out the door and down the path toward the Art House, Tsuki hot on his heels.
“Hey, girl.” He rubs a hand over her glossy head, which hits him just under his armpit now.
She’s the size of a small pony. Luca isn’t telling anyone, but he’s had a small, child-sized saddle made.
What? Tsuki totally agreed and picked it out herself.
It’s custom, but hopefully, it won’t take too long to arrive.
The door to the studio is wide open, so the alpha can hear the kids shriek from the yard, and Grayson is standing shirtless in front of a large canvas. He’s covered in paint, but he’s looking at his phone.
“Hey,” Luca whispers so as not to startle him, because that would be very bad.
The painting on the easel is of a place Luca doesn’t recognize but is still familiar. It’s a weird sensation, and he’s not quite used to having those déjà vu moments that Grayson embraces with everything he is.
“Hey, Luc. Like it?” He puts the phone on his workbench and nods toward the artwork. When Luca gets close enough, he can see there are tiny shimmery spots of paint that glow and pulse.
He can only be honest: “It’s so fucking cool.”
“Yeah? Thanks. What’s up?” He smiles, picking up his palette again.
“Well, I have a silly question for you, and I need you to be completely honest.”
Luca is so sure he knows the answer already. Even though Grayson is Nix’s soulmate, Grayson has been his biggest fan in the blowjob department since they started courting six years ago.
Luca can admit that’s why he sought him out for some enthusiastic reassurance.
Damn you, Rowan Foster.
“I won’t tell anyone what you say. My lips are sealed.”
“Whoa. It must be big if you’re sealing your lips.” There’s a small smirk on Grayson’s ethereal face, but his eyes are glued to his painting.
Shit, Luca is quickly losing him to the magic of his art.
“Ha-fucking-ha. Seriously.”
“Ask, baby. I have to get back to this…”
“Okay. Uh…” It’s not that easy to ask, surprisingly. Shit. “Do I give better head than Nix?”
Grayson fumbles his palette, head whipping around like he can’t believe what he’s been asked.
Eyebrow raised, he sets the palette to rights.
“You give great head. Some of the best, probably.”
Probably?!
“But better than my soulmate? Sex-in-a-bakery-scented Nixie? I don’t know about that.”
“Are you kidding me? You told me yesterday I made you see stars.”
“I did? It was really, really good. I meant it.” He puts a touch of lilac on the painting and then turns so Luca can see his face. “What? You’re not feeling inadequate or anything, are you? Luc. You give great head. I love it.”
“But I’m not the best?” Luca cannot believe his ears.
“Why does it matter? I like it; you like it. It’s good.”
“It’s good?! You like it?” Like is such a mild word, when Luca thought he was blowing minds and sucking them out of his mates’ dicks.
Well. He has never. This is life-altering. Surely there has to be some way to figure this out beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Scientifically.
That’s it. He needs an experiment. Finn always says: Test the hypothesis. He just needs help in doing it.
Without another word, Luca turns on his heel.
He hears Grayson’s “Hey, don’t go away mad!” behind him, but now that Luca has a plan, he will not be deterred.
Now, where is his competition?
He finds Nix lying on his belly on the new sofa in the library. There are toys all over the floor, but by the sounds of it, the kids are still outside. Good, this is not a conversation he needs their children to bear witness to.
“Hey, are they still outside?” Luca asks, just to be 100% certain.
He lies flat across Nix’s back so he can enjoy the press of Nix’s round butt up against his semi-hard dick. Sue him—all that talk about blowjobs, dicks, and the thought of competition have combined to make him hard.
Nix waves a tired hand toward the window, and Luca sees Grandpa-Artem outside chasing butterflies with the kids in the yard. Gideon is sitting on the bench, reading a book Matteo had lent him about spiritual parenting.
He’s wearing his sexy fake glasses again, and for a moment, Luca entertains the idea of forgoing his ridiculous important dicks-periment to ruffle his soulmate’s sexy feathers instead.
But Nix bumps his ass up so Luca can grind down again.
“Mmm. What has you worked up at 9:33 AM?” Nix has a newly acquired ability to tell the time to the exact second. It’s weird, and yet of all the incredible things Nix has learned to do, this is by far the least interesting and most annoying.
“Well, I need your help.”
“Me? If it involves dick, I might be in. And out. And in.” He chuckles tiredly.
Nix is a wonderful father, and they all share in the care of their pack babies.
They all tend to fight over it, actually, but last night, it had been Finn and Nix’s turn on the night shift, and clearly, their night owl had persisted in her strange affinity for being awake while the others were asleep. Luca blames Rowan’s genes.
“Long night?”
“Yeah, although she slept at some point.” Which explained why she was out with Artem and Tsuki tearing up the yard.
“Why are you so tired, then?”
“Finn and I watched some home movies since we had the time.”
Oh, that made perfect sense. Finn’s home movies were straight-up porny homemade-sex-tapes.
“Which one?” Luca grinds down again and, for the moment, loses track of his plans for a cock-stravaganza.
“From Gideon’s birthday last year? You know, the one with Jamie and the chair?”
“No! Really? I love that one. Wake me up next time.” Jay had been tied to a chair, and…nope…he’s not getting de-railed again.
(Puns are life. Shut up.)
“Sure thing, baby. Now, what did you need me for? I am too tired to do more than lie here, although I could open my mouth…” he drawls, his voice deep and sexy, but the mention of him using his mouth brings Luca right back on track.
“Sorry…no-can-do, boo. I need you to help me figure out who gives the best blowjobs.”
“Okay,” he says, already moving his tired body up. “Wait. What?”
“You heard me right. Someone has besmirched my Baron-of-the-Blow-Job status, and I need to prove I am still cock-of-the-walk.”
Nix silently mouths Baron-of-the-Blow-Job and then cock-of-the-walk with a quizzical eyebrow. “You what? Luc, I am tired, and I don’t think my brain is braining. What exactly do you need from me?”
“I have heard that you might give the best blowjobs in the house, and while I do think they’re good, mine are evidentially better.”
Now, the thing you have to understand about Geminis in general, and Nix Rhodes in particular, is that they are competitive (see Luca’s own reaction, too).
Tell them they aren’t the best at something, and chances are they are already working toward a strategy where they can prove they are all on their own.
Nix’s face right now? It is as smug as fuck.
“They did? How nice. Who said that, so I can show my top-of-the-line expert appreciation?” He asks, as he licks his pretty red lips lewdly for extra impact.
“What? No. That’s the thing. Are you the best, though?” Luca asks, but sees Nix’s jaw harden and his eyes narrow at the challenge.
“Luca, are you challenging me to a suck-off? A head-to-head-for-head competition?” He growls.
“It’s a dicks-periment.”
“Sounds like cum-petition to me,” he counters. They break at the exact same time, howling with laughter.
Luca finally stops, plopping down beside his mate. “Okay, though, for real. It’s important to me. I don’t know why. But, I take pride in this shit, and I need an answer.”
“I’m in. Just tell me how you want to go about it. I mean, at worst, I get all the dick I want and at best, find out I’m the king of cock.”
“Nope, I used that one already.”
“What? When? Out loud, where I could hear it? No? Then it’s fair game, baby.”
In the end, they hash out the terms of their competition.
They would give each mate the best head of their life.
They can’t reveal their intentions so as not to skew the data.
When the kids went to the Costases tomorrow for their weekly sleepover, they would gather their men in the living room and take a vote.
No hard feelings, pun intended.
But to make it extra interesting, the loser has to top for a month. A month.
Ouch.
“I love Sunday nights,” Nix says as he lays his head down again, but this time in Luca’s lap. “I miss the kids, but I love it when we’re all together.”
“Me too. Especially since Sugar told Lauren how we spend our Daddy-no-kiddo time.”
“Right? He revels in the debauchery a little bit extra, right? I’m not imagining that?”
“Fuck, no. He wears that Architect of Pleasure shirt every time. From drop-off and during the main event. It’s starting to affect Jay’s performance, though, I think, since he won’t take it off.”
Images of Gideon sans pants, but still in his Architect of Pleasure shirt, make him giggle.
Nix chuckles. “Nope. Big Daddy’s performance is definitely not off. It is on.”
“Fair. Now, when do we start?”