Chapter 1
TWO MONTHS LATER
Angelia MacAuley stood on the riser beneath the stage, heart pounding, mouth dry.
It was her first gig with the world-famous Fallen Angels, and even though she had rehearsed almost daily since the final Scotland Rocks show, she was plagued with imposter syndrome.
How the hell was she here? How had this massively well-known band with their gazillion fans across the globe chosen her, a nobody from the Isle of Skye, to be their new front person?
This was the stuff dreams were made of. Perhaps she would wake up any minute now and find none of it had been real.
It wouldn’t have surprised her. Although if it was a dream, it was bizarrely real.
Her heart kept a steady, if a little fast, beat against her ribcage and her breaths came rapidly through the space between her parted lips and as she closed her fist around the microphone in her right hand, she noticed the sheen of sweat on her palm.
Tears needled behind her eyes, and she wasn’t sure if their presence was out of fear, excitement or a combination of both.
‘Come on, Angelia, you’ve got this,’ she whispered to herself as she tried to inhale and exhale a little slower.
She could already hear the fourteen-thousand-strong crowd in the packed stadium as the build-up to the first song began.
Initially it was a low rumble, but it built and built with every chord and every beat, the pace matching the increasing tempo of her heart until she could feel it vibrating, first through her chest, and then throughout her whole body.
In her ear the rhythmic tick, tick, tick of the metronome track was somehow reassuring, and she tried to focus on nothing but that.
Lead guitarist Heath Lennox, bass player Baird Munro, aka Bear because it suited his size and bushy beard, and keyboard player Dom Holyhead were already on the stage, as was Josh Baron, behind his drum kit, and their female rhythm guitarist who originally hailed from the Loire Valley in France but had lived in London for fifteen years and could speak better English than most people Angelia knew.
Anouk Barbier had also been Lorelie’s long-term partner and Angelia had worried most about being accepted by her, but her fear had been unfounded.
Anouk had been so supportive and lovely, making sure Angelia felt at home from the start of her time with the band.
Angelia’s entrance had been planned this way to make a huge deal of her first-ever official gig.
But the fact that it was taking place at Glasgow’s SSE Hydro was what made it special for her; all of her fellow contestants from the show and the friends she had made during her own, somewhat brief attendance at the prestigious Conservatoire had been given complimentary tickets.
Her besties, Fiona and Ed, were there too, of course, along with her parents in the VIP area with the other family members and girlfriends of the band.
She could imagine her dad chewing his nails and her mum pacing up and down as she told him to stop it.
She smiled. They were no doubt more terrified than she was.
As she stood there on the riser, waiting, she had a flashback to earlier that day when she had been standing on the stage at their dress rehearsal, and how she had been completely awestruck at the magnitude of the auditorium.
Heath had excitedly told her the show was a sellout and that everyone was coming to show their support for their new lead vocalist. Unfortunately, this news had been counterproductive and had terrified her.
After some unpleasant recent events she was aware that, amongst the people who would be there for good and positive reasons, there were also bound to be people who were there hoping to watch her fall flat on her face.
Since the live final of the competition there had been posts on social media claiming that the show had been fixed and that Angelia was talentless.
Her parents and the rest of the band had tried to reassure her that these were jealous idiots, and she needed to ignore every single negative comment.
‘You do deserve to be here, Angel,’ Josh, the band’s drummer, had told her with a reassuring squeeze to her arms. He had been the first to call her ‘Angel’ and the rest of the band had simply followed suit, and it had stuck.
She hated that Josh was even more gorgeous up close, and she chastised herself for noticing.
After all, she knew business and pleasure should never be mixed so it was a waste of time swooning over him.
In addition to this, unlike her, he wasn’t even single.
Heath had added, ‘Josh is right, Angel. We chose you, remember? We wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t good enough. You’re more than good enough.’
She’d wished, at the time, she could’ve believed them.
And more so now she was on the verge of stepping out onto the stage for her first gig.
But deep down she knew from firsthand experience that a certain cohort of the fans could be obsessive ones who would only ever accept Lorelie as the lead singer, even though the beloved singer had expressly said on social media that this was her final wish, to have an unknown singer take her place; to make their dream come true.
She was grateful to Lorelie and wanted to protect the former singer’s legacy after being the one to have this amazing opportunity bestowed upon her.
So Angelia had tried to push all the negative thoughts to the back of her mind as she had stared out at the empty seats under the stark bright lights, knowing that in a mere few hours she would be looking out at a whole different view.
She had been in the studio rehearsing with the band almost every day for eight weeks since the live final of Scotland Rocks.
As a huge fan she had, of course, known the songs already but now she was learning harmonies and stage marks too.
It was a lot more complicated than the band had made it look.
Anouk had been amazing, so encouraging, even though it must have been so much harder for her seeing someone taking her girlfriend’s place.
Rehearsals had been gruelling but exhilarating all at the same time and tonight was the night it all became a reality.
No more pinching herself when she woke up, no more checking and rechecking the copy of the signed contract she kept on her phone so she could look at it when she needed to prove to herself that it hadn’t all been an elaborately realistic dream.
No more worrying about the bridge in the third song where she kept getting the lyrics wrong.
It was now.
It was happening.
It was real.
If she didn’t know it now, she never would.
* * *
Back in the present again, Angelia’s heart skipped as a voice said, ‘Riser up,’ in her earpiece, and sure enough, the platform on which she stood began to ascend towards the stage.
Dry ice surrounded her as white strobe lights illuminated her silhouette.
As she reached stage level, pyrotechnics fired off at the front of the stage, making her jump, and a unified, almost deafening, cheer travelled through the stadium.
With a confidence she didn’t know she possessed, Angelia strutted towards the audience and sang out the first line of the first song, aptly called ‘Now I’m Here’.
Only two years before, Angelia and her friends had been in the audience at this very venue as Lorelie had sung that same line while pointing out at the hordes of adoring fans singing right back to her; marching around the stage as her long auburn hair flew behind her.
For a petite-framed woman, she’d had a huge personality and an even bigger pair of lungs.
And now Angelia was walking the same steps.
This feeling was surreal.
As if Lorelie’s spirit had possessed her body, Angelia stomped around the stage as the lyrics flowed easily from her lips – even the bridge in the third song.
It was hard to see all the faces of the people singing back to her but the ones at the front were pretty clear and she made eye contact with smiling fans who reached out towards her as she sang her heart out.
It felt a lot like acceptance for the twenty-year-old who had been terrified of backlash for stepping into such a role.
During his guitar solo, Heath walked towards her, and she leant her back on his shoulder as he moved his fingers deftly up and down the fretboard.
It was like a scene from a movie and Angelia couldn’t believe it was real life.
Her real life. He turned to face her and beamed, giving her a wink before he made his way across the stage to Anouk.
The whole night whizzed by like a fever dream.
Angelia didn’t miss a step, her voice sounded like it didn’t belong to her.
The PA gave her tone a richness she had never realised she was capable of, and the rest of the band were incredible.
They all interacted with her as if she had always been a part of them.
Not for one second did she feel like a replacement or an afterthought.
The imposter syndrome had left the building, taking her anxiety with it.