Chapter 8
‘Jeez-oh, Angel, I’ve never even heard of it,’ Heath said as the band sat in the lounge area of her apartment. ‘But you’ll get through it, and we’ll help all we can.’ The crease between his brows betrayed him.
Anouk, who was seated beside Angelia, reached out and squeezed her arm. ‘I have actually heard of it,’ she said, ‘but I’ve never met anyone who has it. I’m so sorry, Angel, you must be worried sick.’
Josh stood at the window, staring out at the garden below, hands in his pockets, unmoving and silent. It was dark out now and the strings of fairy lights were illuminated, giving the trees a magical appearance.
‘And you think going home to Skye for a while is going to help, do you, love?’ Den asked.
Angelia nodded. ‘I mean, it won’t cure me, nothing will, but I’d really like to see my mum and dad. I know I’m an adult and that probably sounds a bit daft but it’s how I feel.’
Dom, who was on video call on Angelia’s laptop, leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. Staring directly into the camera, he said, ‘Aye, I totally get that. Don’t you, Den? Put yourself in her shoes, mate. The lass needs her mum and dad at a time like this.’
Den held up his hands. ‘I didn’t say it was a bad idea.
I’m just getting my head around it all. There’ll have to be planning.
We need to figure out the logistics. She can’t just turn up at home without us planning the visit, look what happened last time.
Her folks were overrun with teenagers wanting autographs. I’m sure they don’t want that again.’
‘I’m sure it’ll be fine, Den. We all go home without issue most of the time,’ Heath added with a smile in Angelia’s direction.
Bear stood from his seat and walked over to Angelia.
He scooped her up in his arms and held her.
‘If I could take it off you I would, Angel. This is just shitty. I mean totally and utterly shitty.’ He placed her down again and returned to his seat, shaking his head.
‘Shitty,’ he said one last time. He was a gentle giant, so caring and thoughtful.
‘We’ll get you the best care there is, babe, won’t we, lads?’ Dom said with a waver to his voice. ‘You just take all the time you need.’
‘Aye, we’ll get you back on your feet and right as rain, ready to knock your fans’ socks off on the next tour,’ Den added, glancing around for the agreement of everyone else.
‘Don’t stress her out about tours, Den,’ Anouk snapped. ‘She needs to take this one day at a time. You heard what she said about the things that can make symptoms worse. We need to avoid that at all costs.’
Den nodded and his cheeks tinged with pink. ‘Oh, yes, of course, sorry, I didn’t mean to… I was just trying to be positive. I’ll tell you what, I’ll contact the studio and push things back indefinitely.’
Guilt niggled at Angelia when she saw the worry in Anouk’s eyes and the remorse in Den’s. ‘Guys, I’m sorry to drop this on you. I know it must be hard after what happened with Lorelie.’
Heath huffed. ‘Hey, don’t you be feeling bad for something that’s not your fault.
And don’t worry about us. We’re big enough and ugly enough to look after ourselves.
Our main concern right now is you and your health.
There’s nothing more important than that right now.
We’re a family.’ He turned his head to peer over his shoulder at Josh. ‘Right, Josh?’
As if coming out of a trance, Josh turned. Angelia could see his eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot. ‘Sorry, what?’
Heath sighed and spoke through clenched teeth. ‘I was just saying that Angel shouldn’t be worried about how we’re feeling just now. She should be thinking about herself. Right?’
Josh cleared his throat. ‘Oh… aye… aye, right. Excuse me for a minute, I need some air.’ He walked through the apartment and into Angelia’s study that had a private balcony, closing the door behind himself.
Heath glared after him. ‘I’m… erm… just gonna nip to the little boys’ room.’ He stood and stormed across the apartment in the same direction his bandmate had gone. It was obvious he wasn’t going to the loo.
Angelia stood. ‘Heath, let me go?—’
Heath held up a hand, frowned and shook his head. ‘It’s okay, Angel.’ He disappeared through the same door as Josh and closed it behind himself.
‘Please eat, guys, the pizza’s going cold,’ Angelia said as she stood and walked over to the dining table. ‘I’ll go grab some more wine.’
As the others finally tucked into the pizza, Angelia sneaked over to the door of her study and opened it a tiny fraction.
‘— and I get that it’s hit you hard, but Angel needs our support right now. So put her first instead of yourself, will you, you self-centred arse.’
‘Hey, I know, I know she does, all right? I get it. I do. But… It hurts too much, man. I love that girl so much and it kills me to know I can’t do anything to help her. I feel so damn useless, Heath.’
Heath’s voice softened. ‘I know, mate, I do. But you need to stop thinking like this, because that won’t help her at all.
It’s a shock but it’s not life threatening, it can be managed, changes need to be made, yes, but we’ll deal with them together, as and when they’re necessary.
And to be honest, we were all in need of a break anyway.
This just means we get longer, that’s all. ’
Josh lowered his voice almost to a whisper and Angelia had to strain to hear over the chatter of the others. ‘The thing is, Heath… I think… I think I love her.’
Angelia’s heart skipped in her chest, and she held her breath as she listened.
‘Love her like we all do, or, like love her, love her?’ Heath asked, a hint of incredulity to his voice.
Silence.
Heath spoke again. ‘Come on, Josh, what about Nancy? You talked about proposing to her. You’ve been with her forever, mate. Are you going to throw that away?’
‘Of course I’m not,’ Josh hissed. ‘I could never be with Angelia. We’d never work because of my deep love for Nancy.
But I’ve been sitting on these feelings for years now and tonight kind of…
confirmed it, I suppose. I felt like I’d been gut punched when she told us about this MG thing.
I couldn’t handle it. I just wanted to scoop her up and tell her everything would be fine and that I would sort it all out, but I can’t and that does my head in.
’ His voice broke and he cleared his throat.
‘And the thing is, I know she feels something for me, too, or at least she used to. I could see it in her eyes, Heath. Can you be in love with two people at once?’ His voice was strained and filled with pain.
Heath sighed deeply. ‘How should I know? I’ve only ever loved Agda.
I’ve never even been remotely interested in anyone else, so you’re asking the wrong person.
But my guess is that if you’re capable of loving someone else when you’re with Nancy there must be something not right there.
I mean, you say your love for her is deep but you’ve been together since high school and you’re not even engaged after all this time. ’
‘I’ve been going to propose to Nancy so many times,’ Josh said, almost pleadingly.
‘I’ve even got the ring. But… something always stops me.
She said recently that if I can’t commit to her 100 per cent she’ll leave.
I can’t let that happen, Heath. She’s the one I’m meant to be with but…
Angelia came along and… I felt this instant spark.
This connection. Like we’re soulmates or something crazy like that.
She calls our bond an invisible string. She’s right except that for me it’s something more than just a friendship bond.
But I can’t act on my feelings. Because I do love Nancy.
And I need to commit to her. So, I need to let this thing with Angelia go.
So maybe her going home for a while isn’t such a bad idea. ’
There was a silent pause and Angelia wished she could see their faces. Her heart hammered and she felt a little lightheaded with shock.
Heath broke the silence after a few moments.
‘Yeah… yeah, I think it might be a good thing to get some distance between you because Angel has been messed around enough by dickheads and I won’t let you be another one.
She’s like my kid sister. And yes, I think she had a crush on you when she joined the band, but she had the sense to let that go years ago.
You’re wasting your time. Just let it go and move on, Josh.
She doesn’t need this and Nancy doesn’t deserve it.
In fact, I love you like a brother, Josh, but you don’t deserve either of them, in my opinion.
Just bloody grow a pair and be a friend to Angel, for feck’s sake. ’
‘Angel, are you going to come and eat before Bear finishes off all the pizza?’ Den shouted and Angelia jumped, feeling a little like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
She felt heat rising in her face and hoped to goodness Heath and Josh hadn’t realised she was outside the door, listening in on their very personal conversation, because nothing good had come from it.
She ran on her tiptoes towards the kitchen and when she had created enough distance between her and the study she called out, ‘Just getting some wine, be there in a sec.’
Her head was spinning, her mind reeling from what she had heard.
So, he did feel something for her after all.
Although it was useless to have this little snippet of knowledge as she had heard from Josh’s own lips that he would never be with her.
He might feel a connection to her but his connection to Nancy was evidently stronger.
And that was fine really because she couldn’t be the one to break them up.
Nancy was such a lovely person and didn’t deserve any of this.
No, it was time to well and truly let this crush go. And her mind was made up.
She was going home.
* * *