8 JANIE
JANIE
I brace myself before pulling out my phone again once I’m safely back in my hotel room. Although I don’t even feel safe here, I feel…crazed. Not even buzzed. This time I only had one drink.
This feels more unhinged than that.
Because what the hell?!
Am I this desperate? To marry for money? To someone I don’t even like?
Okay, I like him okay. He’s a little funny and a lot easy on the eyes and we’ve had a surprising amount of fun. This is two nights in a row I haven’t been back in my room until after ten pm. Wild.
But marry? A cocky, billionaire playboy out of touch with the real world and its real problems? Another magnetic, clever, charming guy.
Not that this is real, so it won’t matter. I won’t be fooled again.
Anyway.
I’m not really doing this. Even if I wanted to, they’ll never buy it. I shake my head and unlock my screen, ignoring the glaring text thread I leave as unread.
I tap on The Singles Table thread with Kat Canton and Sally Canton.
Well, that was their maiden name before falling madly in love with a consultant and a bodyguard, respectively.
They’re Skye’s cousin and sister and two of my favorite people even if things have been…
weird between me and my former best friend and her famous family.
Why does no one warn you when you’re young about the agony of friendship break-ups? We’re shown how horrible romantic heartbreak is in books, movies, articles and memes. But what about platonic heartbreak?
The ripple effect to all your mutual friends?
The sadness that covers everything just slightly, subtly. Like a slow-dripping tap all over your life.
There should be novels about that. Sonnets. Dramedy series on Netflix.
Of course, who would want to watch?
Blah. Not me. Too painful.
I’m still pretty solid with these two on this text thread, though.
Both girls who were solo at the wedding are not just Skye’s family but also kind of Benedict’s family-in-law, via his brother.
Kat is wild and independent and very…country.
But whip smart when it comes to people. Sally, the youngest Canton, is not people smart but she’s a literal genius studying to become an actual brain surgeon.
In other words, they’re never going to buy that after all these years of being acquaintances, we’re suddenly in love.
Deep breath.
I open the messages, to see what they’ve replied from the image I sent a while ago at the restaurant.
Janie: [Selfie with Benedict]
Janie: What are the odds I’d run into this guy in Vegas?
Kat: Why are you in Vegas?
Sally: There is a Clark Industries event happening there this week.
Sally: The odds are incredibly high. One in maybe 550.
Kat: Sal, my dear cousin, as usual, she wasn’t being literal.
Janie: I wasn’t, but you know I always appreciate hard numbers.
Kat: What are you doing in Vegas??
Janie: Work thing.
Kat: Okay and how did you end up squeezed - and I mean squeezed - into a booth with him?
Janie: He rescued me from small talk
Sally: Your hero.
Janie: Exactly.
Kat: Care to tell us why he’s got his arm around your mid-section so tight it’s like he’s trying to squeeze your boobs out the top of your bra?
Janie: Exaggerate much?
Kat: Sal?
Sally: Accurate.
Kat: HA!
Janie: We’ve been…flirting
Kat: !!!
Janie: I mean, look at him.
Kat: The man is hot.
Sally: I see what you’re saying, but I feel like he is my brother.
Kat: He’s your brother-in-law’s brother. You could marry him and there’d be nothing Arkansas about it. (I’m from AR, so I’m allowed to say that.)
Janie: He doesn’t feel like MY brother
Kat: Wooooo I’m blushing
Sally: Have you had sex with him yet?
Janie: No…
Kat: WOOOO she said yet! And you didn’t correct her! This is the most exciting thing to happen to me this year.
Janie: Aren’t you pregnant?
Kat: I like to exaggerate, keep up.
Sally: He has quite the reputation. How do you feel about that?
Kat: She’s not marrying him, he’s hot, she’s hot, they’re just playing a little hide the sausage in Sin City.
Kat: I’m here for it.
Sally: Still a valid question.
Janie: I don’t love that about him but I think the press makes him seem a lot crazier than he is.
Kat: Please confirm that this is just hide the sausage.
Sally: It’s not.
Kat: What?!
Sally: Kat, She only sent it to us. Not Skye and the others. Use your powers of deduction.
Kat: Well, butter my damn biscuits!
Kat: Janie???
Janie: It’s probably only sex.
Kat: Probably?????
Janie: I don’t know! Would it be so bad if I crushed on him a little bit?
Sally: It could be…complicated?
Kat: Facts. It’s not like you’ll never see him again. You’ll probably see him yearly at Skye’s stuff, our stuff. Maybe more than yearly.
Janie: True.
Kat: And the man gets around, as we said. Don’t get your feelings involved when he probably isn’t.
Sally: This is Janie, though. She is exceptional. He may be feeling some feelings as well.
Kat: That’s fair, but, like, what…a relationship!? Janie do you want to date Ben?!
Janie: Don’t freak out.
Kat: !!!!
Janie: I think I like him.
Kat: !!!!!!!
Sally: Kat, deep breaths.
Janie: And I want to have fun. Live a little.
Kat: You have had a tough couple years
Janie: Right? I need this
Kat: You need this or your vagina needs this?
Janie: Both?
Kat: I’m assuming this CRAZY development stays at the single’s table?
Janie: Please
Kat: Just…don’t get yanked around. Again.
Janie: I won’t.
Kat: You do make a stunning couple!
Kat: What do we think Samantha will go with when she ships you two, #Janedict?
Kat: No. #Banie I bet
Janie: LOL
Janie: Sally?
Sally: All of this makes me uneasy.
Janie: I get that.
Janie: I’ll tell Skye and Samantha myself if it…becomes something.
Sally: Okay.
_____
BEN
The two hours I force myself to wait to text my sister-in-law crawl by.
I can’t remember the last time I was this…
twitchy? Jittery. It’s exciting. I fix my issue with Dad, avoid the crazies who are drawn to my money like little green moths to flame, and get to spend time with someone cool.
Someone challenging and fun and different.
She was drained when I dropped her at the hotel a while ago. Cute, really.
Reminds me of my brother in that way. I myself am more like the Energizer Bunny of Positivity and Peopling that he married, Samantha.
I’m not quite as sunny as she is but I can hang with her on a night out on the town, or multiple nights in a row.
I enjoy chatting, texting, FaceTiming. My grumpy older brother hates all that.
I guess that opposites attract thing makes their relationship work.
When I note the time, two hours since dropping Janie off, I open my phone.
Ben: [Selfie with Janie]
Ben: Look who I found
Samantha: What!
Samantha: How?
Samantha: Where are you guys?!
Samantha: Why are you sitting so close?!
Samantha: WTF!
Ben: Sunny Samantha, my dear, sweet, excitable *ridiculous* sister-in-law whom I love: Please try to send your thoughts in one text message!
Samantha: NO
Samantha: I’M TOO EXCITED
Samantha: TELL ME WHAT’S HAPPENING
Ben: Do you think I have a shot with her?
Samantha: WHAT!
Samantha: DEFINE “A SHOT”
Ben: ONLY IF YOU’LL STOP SHOUTING
Samantha: What do you mean? Like for real? Like dating?
Ben: Yes.
Samantha: Oh, then no. LOL
Ben: Ouch
Samantha: She might *might* mess around with you for fun but that’s it
Ben: Why do you say that?
Samantha: I don’t think you’re her type
Ben: What’s her type? Theo?
Samantha: SHE TOLD YOU ABOUT THEO?!
Samantha: Sorry. She told you about Theo?!
Samantha: You guys are talking about past relationships?!
Ben: It might’ve come up.
Samantha: On what is very clearly A DATE
Samantha: You’re DATING Janie.
Samantha: Have you talked to your brother about this?!?!?!?!
Ben: No, you’re the first person I’ve told.
Samantha: OMG OMG OMG
Samantha: #Banie
Samantha: I can’t believe this.
Ben: But you’ve just told me I have no chance?
Samantha: Yeah.
Samantha: Probably not.
Samantha: Ever since #tendaya she has been very anti-men. Only dated a few very quiet, serious brainy numbers guys who are exactly like her.
Ben: Tendaya?
Samantha: Janie looks like Zendaya and Theo looks like a young Taye Diggs.
Ben: Who?
Samantha: [Getty Image of Taye Diggs]
Ben: Bollocks. He is good-looking.
Samantha: And JACKED
Samantha: He’s a sculptor.
Samantha: Works well with his big strong hands
Ben: I get it
Samantha: Sensitive too
Samantha: So hot.
Samantha: They were, like, the hottest.
Ben: I GET IT.
Samantha: Wait, you really like her????
Ben: Yes
Samantha: You want to date her?
Ben: Yes
Samantha: Not sleep with her?
Ben: Well, I hope those aren’t mutually exclusive.
Samantha: I just don’t know about this.
Ben: Because I’m not her type?
Samantha: Because you’re not the relationship type, Ben.
Samantha: No judgement. Just facts.
Ben: Maybe I’ve changed.
Samantha: lolz
Ben: I’m serious
Samantha: Ben.
Ben: Sam.
Samantha: You cannot hurt her. She’s been through enough with Theo
Ben: I wouldn’t hurt her
Samantha: You will if you’re having fun and she’s catching feels
Ben: I’m trying to tell you I’M catching feels and so far you’ve just laughed in my face
Samantha: Sorry!
Samantha: Sorry.
Samantha: Okay.
Samantha: Let’s see.
Samantha: If you want to win her over to actually date you, show her you’re serious about her. Romance and charm aren’t going to do it.
Samantha: Try and be, like, boring
Ben: You’re serious?
Samantha: Yes. She’s a creature of habit.
Samantha: Think at work at 8, clocks out at 5, dinner at home, in bed reading by nine, same morning routine, same night time routine
Samantha: x1000
Ben: Theo was boring?
Samantha: No, actually, Theo was a lot like you
Samantha: But that’s the problem
Samantha: You don’t want to give Theo vibes
Ben: Okay
Samantha: Okay? Have you thought about this? Don’t you go to a different restaurant every night, no repeats?!
Ben: I repeat occasionally
Samantha: LOL
Samantha: Good luck brother
Samantha: You’re going to need it
Ben: Thanks for the vote of confidence, sis
Samantha: You’re SURE you want to DATE her. You’re SERIOUS?!
Ben: YES. AGAIN, IN ALL CAPS
Samantha: I mean you might be good for her, if you’re sure you won’t hurt her.
Ben: I won’t.
Samantha: Ok then you need me!
Samantha: Keep asking me for tips!
Samantha: You need to keep me posted EVERY SECOND
Ben: Ha, no.
Samantha: Yes!
Samantha: And I’m telling Emerson obviously
Ben: Obviously
Samantha: Have you talked to Skye yet?
Ben: I don’t have her number but I imagine Janie will want to talk to Skye before me
Ben: And before you.
Ben: So just us and Emerson for now, okay?
Samantha: Ahhhhhh
Samantha: You don’t realize what you’re asking of meeeeee
Ben: Okay, sis?
Samantha: UGH OK. [mouth zipped emoji]
Ben: Thanks.
Ben: So, you’re sure. Boring.
Samantha: Positive
Ben: Flowers? Chocolates? Other gifts?
Samantha: [anxious emoji]
Ben: So no gifts?
Samantha: I mean, I don’t know, but it feels a bit flashy. Remember you’re boring, stable, reliable. Not flashy.
Ben: Bloody hell. How do you woo a woman without romance or gifts?
Samantha: Titillating conversation?
Ben: I like the sounds of the first bit
Samantha: No sex! You’re working against your playboy rep here. Remember You’re SERIOUS about HER. About DATING
Samantha: Not HORNY for the nearest hottie
Ben: Okay, win over a bird without sex, gifts, or romance. Brilliant.
Samantha: Don’t call her a bird
Ben: FML
Samantha: You’ll be great!
Samantha: …Just keep texting me.
Samantha: LOL
____
Ben: Is she a coffee person?
Samantha: I think so?
Samantha: But it’s 7:30 in the morning?
Samantha: WTH??
Ben: Swinging by to see her before the expo
Samantha: No surprises! No swinging by!
Ben: Fine I’ll text her first.
Ben: Feels lame though
Samantha: At this point whatever you’re feeling, you should probably do the opposite.
Ben: But look at this gift
Ben: [photo]
Samantha: BENEDICT NO. NO GIFTS! WHAT’S IN THERE
Ben: I’m not telling
Samantha: DO NOT GIVE HER PANTIES
Ben: Stop yelling. Not all small, flat rectangular boxes are undergarments.
Samantha: HIGHLY SUS
Ben: Goodbye now
[Ben has muted the conversation]
Samantha is wrong about this gift. I had my lawyer break out the legal document into layman’s terms, section by section.
I added bullet points and lists and made everything as crystal clear as possible.
I added tabs, color coding, and bound the pages in a lay-flat spiral.
I believe Janie will actually love this gift.
Especially now that I know more about her.
She told me herself her childhood was chaotic. She just didn’t say that the chaos was thanks to her mother.
Her father, son of the grandmother who raised her, was a staple in Juniper Falls. He owned a small business, had a seat on city council, and even had a side street named after him. His heart attack was a shock since he was only forty.
Janie’s mother—a stunning Jamaican woman thirteen years younger than her husband—couldn’t handle a three-year-old and one-year-old on her own. Seems Janie’s brother inherited the disease of addiction from her. She has been in and out of rehab—and Janie’s life—since.
My PI could have dug much deeper into Janie’s circumstances, but I asked him not to.
He found enough to confirm what I already knew, she’s been honest with me about her brother and her grandmother.
He warned me that her bank accounts had been wiped out and she might be after me for my money.
I tried not to smirk as I thanked him for that little tidbit.
In short, everything is good to go. I don’t believe Janie would withhold anything vital. I only need to know what the press will try to use as garbage, click-bait, so-called journalism so we can be proactive about it.
Now it’s time for coffee and contract negotiations. I feel wired as I near her hotel room door, even though I haven’t so much as sipped my latte yet. Weird. And fun.
I knock.