Chapter 16
HAPPY
After getting Hannah safely into a cab, I walk back inside and close the door, leaning back against it and closing my eyes, taking the moment that I need while still tasting her on my lips.
I never intended on keeping my daughter a secret.
Shame is the last thing I feel when it comes to Lucky; she’s the best part of my life.
But keeping this secret has been a lot, and the weight I just felt lift off my shoulders after I told Hannah everything just now…
it’s like I can finally breathe for the first time in what feels like forever.
When Allie texted me earlier asking me to come home, I knew it was because my baby girl needed me.
Lucky is only five, and she’s been through so much in her short life—way more than any five-year-old should ever have to experience.
She suffers from C-PTSD, and it causes a whole slew of issues like a night terrors, emotional dysregulation, and unprovoked moments of fear where she feels unsafe.
When I walked through the door tonight, finding my Lucky girl trembling in a ball, it just about broke me.
Allie is a med student, and she’s amazing with Lucky, but sometimes my girl just needs me. And for as long as I live, I will be here for my baby every damn time, because I’m all she’s got.
Pushing my hair back from my face, I hurry upstairs, treading lightly as I cross the landing and continue through the door to Lucky’s dimly lit bedroom, smiling at the sight of her perched up in her princess canopy bed, grinning at me and hugging tonight’s book of choice to her chest.
Lucky is a girly-girl through and through, all pink and frills, princesses and fairy tales. And I’m so thankful that my mom is around because I know nothing about any of this shit; Mom and Allie are the only women in Lucky’s life, and I depend on them for a lot.
“Hey, Lucky Duck,” I whisper, padding into her room.
“Hi, Daddy!”
“What are we reading tonight?” I get comfortable on the bed next to her, and she nestles in close, handing me her book. “I Love You to the Moon and Back.” I read the title aloud. “Where’d this one come from?”
“Grandma.” Lucky sighs contentedly, resting her head against my arm.
Of course. I grin, opening the book and flipping to the first page, but before I can even begin the story, Lucky speaks.
“Who was that girl?”
I look down at her and she lifts her chin, big brown eyes meeting mine, and to say I’m taken aback is an understatement.
I clear my throat. “Hannah?”
Lucky nods. “Hannah,” she sounds out her name.
“She’s… Daddy’s friend.”
“Oh,” is all she says in response.
“You know how Daddy plays hockey?”
Lucky nods again.
“Hannah’s daddy is Daddy’s coach.”
“She’s pretty. Like a princess,” Lucky says after a beat.
I bite back my smile. “Yeah, she is.”
“Will she come back here?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “Do… do you want her to come back here?”
Lucky sighs again, resting her head back on my arm. “Okay.”
Tears prick the backs of my eyes as a lump forms painfully in my throat, but I swallow down the emotion because I don’t want her to see how much this is affecting me.
Leaning down, I press a kiss to the top of Lucky’s hair that smells of strawberries and cream, my favorite smell. And I relax back against the mountain of pillows, Lucky shifting to lay her little head on my chest as I get to do my favorite, most important job in the whole world—be Lucky’s dad.
Once I know Lucky is fast asleep, I walk back downstairs, stretching my arms up over my head as I pass Allie seated at the island, her face buried inside one of her six-inch thick textbooks, as usual.
“She seems nice…”
I pause, mid-step, turning to her although she doesn’t look up from her book.
“First woman I’ve ever seen come around here.” She glances up then, arching a brow.
“Yep,” is all I can manage.
She narrows an eye, her smile growing. “You like her.”
I roll my eyes, but I can feel my cheeks blushing like a fucking thirteen-year-old.
“Oh my God, you do!” Allie slaps her hand against the stone countertop, slamming her textbook closed.
“Shut up!” I throw my head back on a groan.
“Ohhhh, Happy Slater likes a girl,” she teases.
“Do I need to remind you that not only do I pay you, but I also provide this very roof over your head.” My threat is, of course, empty, and unfortunately for me, she knows it. “Keep it up, punk, and you’ll be back in the dorms by morning.”
“Happy’s got a girlfriend,” Allie sings under her breath.
I shake my head, turning to the fridge and opening the door. “She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just—”
“Ew, I don’t wanna know the details!” she interjects, stopping me mid-sentence.
I chuckle, pulling out a bottle of water and twisting the cap off, turning back to find her watching me intently, like she’s waiting for more. I ignore her, taking a long pull of cold water, scanning the space which was tidied up while I was upstairs with Lucky.
Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without Allie.
She lives here as Lucky’s nanny, but she’s so much more than that.
She’s basically my life manager. Despite having a cleaner who comes every other day, Allie cleans, cooks, and shops.
And, yes, I pay her well. Probably a lot better than most nannies.
And she has her own rent-free suite that is not only way bigger than any college dorm room but also bigger than most one-bedroom apartments in this city.
But one day I’m going to lose her. She’s going to graduate and go off to save lives, and I’m not ready for that because she’s so much more than just Lucky’s nanny; she’s part of our family.
“You gonna apply for the summer research program you were telling me about?” I lean down, resting my forearms against the island counter directly across from her.
“Way to pivot, Slater,” Allie deadpans.
I shrug.
“I don’t think so,” she says like it’s no big deal. Which is a straight-up lie because I overheard her gushing to her sister about it over the phone when I got home from the gym yesterday.
“Why?” My brows knit together in confusion as she goes back to looking at her textbook. “I thought it was a huge deal that you even got invited to apply.”
“It is.” She doesn’t look up from the book, so, like the big brother figure that I am, I casually place my hand over the page and, with a huff, she finally lifts her chin, an unimpressed look on her face.
“I thought you were really excited about it.”
“I was…” She shrugs again, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth and avoiding my eyes.
“Allison Humphrey.”
“Do not call me that.”
I laugh. “Like it’s not your name.”
She rolls her eyes.
I cock my head to the side. “What’s goin’ on?”
She heaves another sigh, finally meeting my imploring gaze. “I don’t want to leave Lucky.”
“I knew it.” I smile smugly. Moving my hand from where it’s covering the page in her book, I touch her arm, squeezing it gently. “It’s only six weeks. You can FaceTime Luck every day. More than once if you want. And guess what? She’ll be here when you get back.”
Allie sighs again, looking down. “I know; it’s just—”
“What?” I press.
“I worry about you…”
I balk. “Me?”
She nods. “Your mom is going to be in Paris. And… well—” Her shoulders fall. “Who else do you have to help?”
I’m only mildly offended because I know she isn’t trying to be mean. “Allie, do I need to remind you that I am a twenty-five-year-old grown-ass adult?”
“Often debatable...” She arches a brow.
I wave a hand. “The point is, I am an adult, and believe it or not, I can actually look after myself and my daughter without burning the house down…”
Allie softens. “I know. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just—” She searches my eyes, her own turning glassy. “I just love you guys. You’re like my family.”
“Aw, Allie cat, c’mere,” I chuckle, moving around the island and wrapping her in a big bear hug from behind. “We love you, too,” I whisper into her hair, hugging her for a long moment until I feel her relax. “So… you gonna apply?”
“On one condition.”
It’s her tone that causes my hackles to rise, and I release her from my hold, leaning against the counter while offering her a dubious side-eye.
“I’ll apply,” she says with a coy smirk, “if you take that girl out on a date.”
I rear back, holding my hands up in the air. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I shake my head confused by that random and entirely unexpected stipulation. “I’m sorry—what?”
She grins. “I saw the way she was looking at you. And it’s not lost on me that in the almost two years I’ve been here, she’s the first woman to ever step foot over that threshold, aside from your mom and me, of course.”
“It’s not like that,” I insist. “I wasn’t lying before. We really are just fucking.”
“Again, ew.” Allie grimaces. “But also, like you said, Happy, you’re a twenty-five-year-old grown-ass adult. Maybe it’s time you… retire the playboy status and, I don’t know, actually look at settling down.”
I blink at her. Settling down. It’s like a foreign language.
“Lucky’s going to be six soon. She’s going to go to school in the fall. And she’s going to start wondering why her dad doesn’t have somebody in his life, somebody he can bring into her life.”
“Lucky asked about her,” I admit.
Allie’s eyes blow out. “She did?”
I nod. “Yeah, I know. Surprised me too.”
“Wow,” Allie returns. “That’s a big deal, Hap.”
I nod again. Lucky asking about Hannah is a big deal.
Especially after meeting her so briefly.
Lucky’s C-PTSD makes it difficult for her to form new relationships; she’s not comfortable around strangers.
It’s something we’re working on with her team of specialists.
The fact that Lucky asked about Hannah after only having met her for a matter of minutes… it’s huge.
“So…” Allie says after a beat, waggling her dark eyebrows up and down. “Do we have a deal?”
I look down at her hand poised in the air between us.
“I mean, I doubt she’ll say yes. She borderline hates me, but… whatever.” I shrug a shoulder, shaking her hand.
Allie sits basking in all her smugness, looking pointedly to the pocket of my suit pants. “Come on. Do it.”
My brow furrows. “What? Now?” I scoff.
She nods, clapping her hands. “You have to move quick, Happy. Women like that kind of thing.”
I huff again, pulling my phone out, with a muttered, “You don’t know Hannah Draper.”
Allie just smiles in response.
With a deep breath, I unlock my phone and scroll to my messages, opening the thread with Hannah. But just as I start to draft a message, I realize I have no idea what I’m supposed to say. This is literally a first for me. I’ve never made the first move. Never had to.
“Oh my God, give it to me,” Allie mutters, snatching my phone from my hands.
I gape at her, blinking. But before I can react quickly enough to steal my phone back, she flashes me a sweet smile, handing it to me. “Done.”
I look down at the screen, my jaw dropping at the words glaring back at me.
Me: Go on a date with me.
“You did not just send that!”
“Oh yes I did.” Allie climbs off the stool she’s been perched on, collecting her books from the counter. “And for the record…”
I meet her twinkling eyes, still rendered shocked by the message she just sent to Hannah, the one showing the big fat READ receipt.
“I already applied for the research program this afternoon.” She winks, flashing me another sickeningly sweet smile before patting a hand against my chest and stepping around me with a sing-song, “Goodnight.”