Chapter 26
HANNAH
Allie is clearly flustered when she answers the door, her eyes tired, the messy bun on top of her head half falling out in wisps framing her face.
“Oh my God,” she huffs under her breath, launching herself at me and wrapping me into an unexpected hug. “Thank you so much for this.”
Releasing me, she invites me in, and I step over the threshold, looking around the familiar foyer. “It’s fine, you don’t need to thank me. Is… is she okay?”
“She won’t talk to me,” Allie says, leading me up the stairs. “She’s completely shut down.”
“What started it?”
“We were watching the game, and she saw one of the players get slammed against the glass. And… I think she thought it was her dad.”
“Oh, no. That was Robbie, and he’s totally fine,” I say, remembering the hit.
Two Houston players slammed up against him only a few minutes into the first period.
Robbie fell to the ice, acting in the way many hockey players do to try to milk the penalty, which worked, the two players being given two minutes each all while Robbie got straight back up and grinned at them as he skated past the box and went on to score a goal during the double power play.
“Yeah, when I tried to tell her that it was number nine and that her dad is number nineteen, she got really upset, and I think she thought I was trying to lie to her, and she’s been up in her room. She won’t let me near her.”
We pause on the landing of the first floor, and I look to the stairs that lead upward, glancing curiously at Allie. “Should I just…” I point at the steps.
She nods. “Please.”
I take a deep breath, removing my jacket and placing it and my purse onto the couch before giving myself a mental pep talk and walking up the stairs.
Lucky’s bedroom door is left slightly ajar, and there’s a soft glow coming from inside. I listen for a moment, but I can’t hear anything, so I stop and knock lightly on the door.
“Go. Away!” her little voice yells, broken and hoarse, like she’s been crying her throat raw, and my heart aches.
“Lucky?” I say softly, carefully pushing the door open and sticking my head inside. “It’s me. Hannah.”
Lucky sits up, her blonde curls sticking up in every which way, and when she turns to look at me step inside, I can see just how red her face is, her cheeks tear-stained, eyes swollen and glassy.
She sniffles, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her Moana print pajamas, and a heaving breath racks through her, making her tiny body shudder.
“Hi.” I wave, moving a few steps closer.
She eyes me curiously, her lips pressed together in a watery smile, and I can tell she’s on the verge of more tears but that she’s okay with me being here.
“Do you need a hug?”
She nods, and those tears win their battle, her face crumpling as she breaks down again.
I sit on the side of the bed and hold my arms out, and she crashes into me, burying her face into my chest to stifle her sobs.
I wrap my arms around her, holding her secure yet not too tight, and we stay like this, my body rocking gently side to side until eventually her little cries begin to subside.
“Do you want to tell me why you’re upset, Lucky Duck?” I ask, trying and hoping my use of the pet name Happy uses for her is okay.
Thankfully she offers me a small smile, wiping her cheeks. “I saw my… daddy get… hurt.”
I smooth her hair back from her face. “I promise that wasn’t your daddy, honey. That was your daddy’s friend, Robbie.”
“But he had a nine on his back.” Lucky sniffles again.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s hard to see because it all goes so quickly. But Robbie is number nine and your daddy is number nineteen, a nine with a one in front. One, nine.” I draw the numbers in the air.
Lucky seems to process my words, looking up at me, her forehead puckered with worry. “Is Robbie okay?”
I sniff a laugh, nodding. “I promise you Robbie is super fine. I’m friends with him.”
“Is… is my daddy friends with him?”
I nod again. “Yeah. He’s one of your daddy’s best friends.”
Lucky looks down a moment, her slight shoulders falling with a big sigh. “I don’t know any of my daddy’s friends.” Before I can even think of something to say that might assure her, she continues. “Sometimes, I feel like my daddy keeps me a secret. And I don’t like it. It makes me feel bad.”
I consider my words, unsure how to respond to that because it’s true.
Happy has kept Lucky a secret, but it’s been his way of protecting her.
And while I understand that, how the hell do you explain it to a five year old?
“Your daddy just wants to keep you safe, Lucky. He loves you very much. You’re his whole world. ”
“I know.” She sighs again. “But it gets lonely. Because… I don’t have any friends.”
Oh, my heart. I touch her arm, urging her to look at me, and when she lifts her chin, her big brown eyes peer up at me, so innocent and full of uncertainty. I offer her a reassuring smile. “I can be your friend.”
Her eyes widen, full of so much damn hope, it gets me right in the gut. “My best friend?”
“You bet!” I nod. “I’ve never had a real best friend before.”
“Me neither!” Lucky says on a gasp, her smile growing. Then, her eyes flit from side to side, suddenly devious as she lowers her voice to a whisper. “Can I show you something?”
“Uh… sure,” I say, uncertainty getting the better of me.
Lucky takes my hand and shimmies off the bed. “But we gotta be real quiet,” she whispers, skulking out of her room on her tip toes.
“Uh, maybe we should ask Allie,” I whisper back, suddenly worried I’m going to get into trouble like I’m not a fully grown adult.
Right at that moment, my phone buzzes in the pocket of my leggings and I pull it out, confused to see a text message from Allie.
Allie: It’s totally fine. She wants to show you her and Happy’s secret place. This is huge! Go with it.
My gaze flits about the room, landing on the small camera bracketed high in the corner, opposite the bed, and I realize Allie has been watching us, which actually makes me feel a lot better.
I release the breath I’ve been holding and tuck my phone back into my pocket, following Lucky across the landing and up the stairs.
I’ve never been up here before, but it looks like another sitting area, and maybe another bedroom to the left, another set of stairs going up that we ascend until we make it to the top floor.
“That’s where Allie lives,” Lucky whispers, pointing to a set of double doors we creep by.
We stop at another door, only this time, we go inside, and, confused yet again, I’m met with another set of stairs, my eyebrows knitting together because by my count there should be no more levels to this townhouse.
“Where are we going?” I ask nervously, despite Allie’s earlier encouragement.
“It’s a secret,” Lucky whispers over her shoulder, beginning up the stairs.
I follow closely behind, and we come to a glass door at the very top that opens to the darkness of night outside. Lucky looks up at me and points, and I follow the direction of her finger, noticing a bolt at the top.
“Are… you sure we’re allowed?” I ask tentatively.
She nods, and I slide the bolt, the door unlatching, and Lucky pushes it open and steps in. She reaches off to the side, flicking something, and less than a second later, I’m left breathless at the sight of the rooftop in front of me.
It’s so much more than just a rooftop; it’s a secret garden, an oasis high above the chaos of the city below, framed with neatly pruned trees and pots overflowing with flowers.
High walls surround the space, with huge arches cut out, wrought iron bars securing us yet allowing the view of the city in all around.
Fairy lights have been strung up all over, some sparkling every color of the rainbow, others glowing soft white and gold like fireflies against the darkness of night.
And right there, up above, the sky, dotted with stars, a rare sight to see in the middle of a city like New York.
“C’mon,” Lucky grabs my hand again, leading me between two lush topiary trees to the clearing in the middle. She sits down on a wooden bench seat and pats the space next to her.
Speechless and in awe of my surroundings, I take a seat next to her, unsure where to look, wishing I could take it all in at once. “Wow,” I say on an admiring breath.
“This is where Daddy brings me when I can’t breathe,” Lucky says softly.
I look down at her, shocked by that admission, noticing the way her tiny hands wring together in her lap. I hate that this little girl is only five years old, yet she suffers through so much no little girl should have to.
“You feel like you can breathe up here?” I ask, wrapping my arm around her.
She nestles in closer to me, her body relaxing into my side. “Yeah. This is our special spot. No one else is allowed up here.”
I bite back my smile. “Well, thanks for sharing it with me. I love it.”
Lucky peers up at me, and I meet her eyes. She smiles a dimpled grin that looks so much like her father, it momentarily steals my breath. “You can come up here any time you want.”
I give her a slight squeeze, unable to respond with words because there’s suddenly this painful lump of emotion that’s wedged itself into the back of my throat.
I’m afraid if I try to speak, I might cry.
And neither of us needs that right now. So, instead, Lucky and I sit here, neither of us speaking a word as we exist together—me and my new best friend—beneath the blanket of stars, surrounded by the glow of fairy lights as the gentle breeze whips the subtle hint of jasmine and gardenia all around.