Chapter 23
“You scared me to death,” Scotty said, leaning over Kendra’s bedside in the ER. Walker had left them alone while he went in search of coffee.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was allergic to anything. I hope they let me go home soon.”
“They want to monitor you for a bit, at least until the hives are completely gone.” He held her hand in his, and it made Kendra feel so safe. Scotty was a little odd, just like she was, but together they were a perfect pair.
“While we have some time alone, I wanted to talk to you about next year.”
Scotty tilted his head in confusion. “Next year? What about it?”
“I know you’re going off to college in Charleston, and I am staying here for my last year in high school, but that may change. Apparently, I’m gifted and I can take a test to skip my senior year. I can start college in the fall if I pass the test.”
“Wow! That’s amazing, Kendra! We can both go to Savannah.”
She squeezed his hand. “I’ve decided that I’m going to go to community college here.”
“Community college? But couldn’t you get in at my college? It would be a lot of fun for us to hang out together and study.”
“I know, and eventually I’ll probably do that, but I just got to Happy Harbor. I want to spend more time with my mom and grandmother, and I’m just not ready to go off to college yet.”
He smiled slightly. “I guess I can understand that. Maybe I should stay home for the first year.”
She shook her head. “No, you shouldn’t. You’ve got a big bright future ahead of you, Scotty. You will not be held back because of me. If this relationship is meant to be, distance will not cause us a problem.”
“Do you think we’re meant to be?”
She shrugged her shoulders and laughed. “I’m still a teenager, and so are you. What do we know?”
“Romeo and Juliet were teenagers.”
She squinted. “Yeah, and that didn’t end up so great.”
* * *
Josie turned down the street toward her house, and she was pretty sure the car was up on two wheels. Nobody drove fast around Happy Harbor, but she had to get to her daughter. On Josie’s drive home, Walker had called and told her Kendra was released from the hospital and resting at home. Josie was eager to get to the house and put eyes on her daughter.
She pulled into the driveway, jumped out of the car, and ran up the steps, flinging the front door open and almost knocking it off its hinges. She found Walker standing in the middle of the foyer, looking a little scared at how fast she was moving.
“Where is she?”
“She’s in bed. They pumped her up with a lot of meds. She was exhausted.”
She ran up the stairs and peeked through the cracked bedroom door. Kendra was sleeping peacefully. Josie exhaled. She didn’t want to disturb her, so she walked back downstairs, careful to avoid the creaky spots.
Walker was waiting, a serious look on his face. “I have to talk to you about something.”
She stared at him. “Is it bad? Is it about Kendra? I can’t take much more, Walker.”
“It’s not about Kendra. Come on,” he said, taking her hand and leading her into one of the drawing rooms. Her grandmother had antique furniture in just about every room of the house. It wasn’t exactly Josie’s style, but it went with the aesthetic.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s about your mother. She’s at the hospital.”
Josie stood up. “What? What’s wrong with her? Did she get stung too?”
He shook his head. “She’s not alone. Ethel is there with her.”
“Walker, why is she in the hospital?”
“An officer found her stumbling around at the edge of town. She was slurring her words, bumping into people.”
Josie slowly sat down and stared straight ahead. This sounded awfully familiar. The description Walker gave sounded exactly like how her mother used to be when Josie was a kid.
All the embarrassment came back to her. Hearing stories of her mother laughing at nothing, talking to herself, running into people, stumbling. These were all descriptions anyone could’ve said about her mom back then.
“Do you want me to take you over there?”
She turned and looked at him. “Absolutely not.”
“Josie, it’s your mother.”
She laughed. “That means nothing to me. She said she was in recovery, and that she would try her hardest to stay sober every day. I trusted her to watch my daughter. And in less than forty-eight hours, she’s lit to the gills and at the hospital? I’m done. I don’t need that in my life.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m leaving. There is no way I will live in the same town with that woman when she embarrassed me so much as a kid. She can’t keep promises, obviously. And I won’t let my daughter go through what I did.” Josie could feel her emotions getting out of hand. She knew she wasn’t thinking or acting rationally. She knew she was reacting from the worst parts of herself, the parts that were hurt most when she was a kid.
“You can’t just leave. What about us?”
She stood up, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I care about you, Walker. More than I want to. But I can’t choose you over myself. I just can’t.”
“Where are you going?”
She walked toward the bottom of the stairs. “I’m going to pack. I don’t want to be here when she comes back. I was offered a position at my old company, a good one. I turned it down because I didn’t want to lose what I was building here with my mother and with you and the restaurant. But I can’t do this again.”
He followed her into the foyer. “So you’re just gonna leave? You’re just gonna walk away like nothing ever happened? Like this relationship we’re building doesn’t even matter? After everything I did for you?”
She turned and squinted. “Oh, I get it. I’m supposed to be beholden to you? Because you helped me save the restaurant? I told you a million times how much I appreciated it, but I didn’t know it meant that I owed you something.”
He looked at her, hurt on his face. She couldn’t help it. Nothing mattered more to her than getting out of town as quickly as possible.
“I never said you owed me anything. I did everything for you because I care. I just thought you felt the same way about me.” Without another word, he walked through the kitchen and out the back door.
She didn’t have the time or energy to think more about Walker and how she’d hurt him. She ran up the stairs to Kendra’s room, ready to wake her up and tell her they were leaving, but she was still sleeping peacefully.
Josie sat near the end of her bed and watched her sleep. It was something she hadn’t done since Kendra was a baby. She remembered spending hours watching her sleep, like it was the most interesting thing she’d ever seen in her life.
Guilt washed over her like an ocean wave, threatening to knock her off her feet. Kendra was thriving in Happy Harbor, except for a life-threatening wasp sting, of course. She was supposed to take her test tomorrow. She had plans to go to college. She had a lovely boyfriend. Was it fair to yank all of that away from her because of Diane’s drunken behavior?
Her chest tightened. How was she supposed to tell her daughter that her life didn’t matter? That her feelings didn’t count? She was almost an adult now. She should have a choice. Why was it always Josie’s feelings that forced change?
Josie slipped out of the room and into the darkened hallway, her back pressed against the wall. How could her mother do this to her? Again? It didn’t seem real. Josie had believed her when she said she was in recovery. She’d had such hope for a genuine relationship. Why would Diane do this?
Was it about Dan? Had Diane been spending time with him while Kendra was fighting for her life in the ER? Was she downing a bottle of vodka with her old boyfriend, not caring at all about her daughter and granddaughter?
And then there was Walker. Why had she said such things to him? He was only trying to help. He’d done nothing but try to protect her and help her from the moment they met. No other man had ever treated her the way he did. Why was she willing to let Diane’s mistakes ruin her new relationship?
In that moment, Josie realized that her mother had made a mistake. She didn’t even feel angry about it anymore. She felt pity. She felt sorrow. She felt changed.
Change. It was something she’d touted for years: “People can’t change.”
Was it possible she’d refuted her own argument? That she herself had changed, thus proving she’d been wrong about so many people and situations throughout her life?
So many thoughts and emotions overwhelmed her exhausted body. Instead of packing, she went to bed. She lay down, stared at the moonlit ceiling, and drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow, maybe she’d be more clearheaded. Maybe things would look different in the light of day.
* * *
“Good morning.” Josie took her forehead off the kitchen bar and saw her beautiful daughter standing there, hair a mess, her eyes puffy.
“Oh my gosh!” she said, running over to her and giving her a big hug.
“You’re smothering me,” Kendra choked out, laughing. Josie pulled back and looked at her, placing a hand on each of her cheeks.
“You scared me to death!”
“It’s not like I went out hunting for an angry wasp, Mom,” she said, acting like none of it was a big deal. She walked to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup. “When did you get back?”
“Last night. You were already asleep, but I sat on your bed for a while and watched you sleep.”
Kendra looked at her. “That’s creepy.”
“A little, I suppose.”
“And why were you sleeping with your head on the counter just now?”
“I didn’t get much rest last night. I have a lot on my mind.”
Kendra sat down at the bar. “Like what?”
“My ex-boss offered me my job back. Well, actually, a much better job.”
Her eyes widened. “Please tell me we’re not going back. I can’t.”
Josie reached over and squeezed her hand. “No, we’re not going back.”
“Where’s Grandma this morning?”
Josie cleared her throat and looked out into the backyard, hoping to see any sign of Walker. “Um...”
“Mom, where’s Grandma?”
“I don’t know quite how to say this. Apparently, she was found stumbling around town, slurring her words yesterday. She’s in the hospital. Ethel is with her.”
“And you haven’t gone?”
Josie laughed under her breath. “Why would I go?”
“Because she’s your mother?”
“She got drunk, Kendra. I’m not dealing with that in my life again.”
“How do you know she was drunk?”
“Honey, I know the signs. I grew up watching it.”
“How do you know she wasn’t having a stroke or something?”
“Because Ethel would’ve called me by now. Nobody wants to tell me that she relapsed because they know I’ll sell the restaurant and leave.”
“You said we wouldn’t leave.”
“I was planning on it last night, but I decided it wasn’t fair to you.”
“Where’s Walker?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. I might’ve said some not-so-nice things last night out of anger at my mother and exhaustion from the long ride.”
“Jeez, Mom, did you blow up your whole life while I was asleep?” she asked, standing up. “You need to go see Grandma, and then find Walker. Fix this.”
“I didn’t blow up anything, Kendra,” she said, dumping the rest of the coffee in the sink and washing the carafe.
Kendra walked up behind her and spun her around by her shoulders. She stared at her mother, almost nose to nose. “Listen up, Mom. This is a pivotal moment in your life.”
“Who are you? Dr. Phil?”
“Hilarious. I’m being serious. You’re about to make a big mess that you may not be able to clean up. I know you love Walker.”
“Love him? I barely know him!” She walked around Kendra and started wiping imaginary liquid off the kitchen counter.
“It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone. When you fall in love, you fall in love. I know I’m in love with Scotty.”
Josie turned around. “You’re too young to be in love. That’s puppy love.”
“No, it’s not. And it doesn’t matter what anybody thinks, I know the truth. And you know you love Walker.”
“Stop saying that.” She started rubbing the counter again, her face feeling hot from embarrassment. Why was it bothering her so much that her daughter thought she loved Walker?
“Mom, when are you going to trust people? What do they have to do to prove themselves to you? Because it seems to me that Walker has gone above and beyond any reasonable expectation of a man who hasn’t known you for more than a few weeks.”
“Did you fall into some sort of coma after you got stung? I’ve seen documentaries where people come back with totally different personalities or they know another language.”
“Very funny. Stop changing the subject. What will it take for you to trust somebody?”
“I do trust him! That’s the problem!” Josie finally said, throwing her hands up in the air.
“What? It’s a problem that you trust him?”
Josie sighed and sank onto the barstool next to her. “Yes. My whole life, there were only two people I could depend on—myself and my grandmother. And most of the time, I really couldn’t even depend on myself. I learned how to get by in this world with no help from anybody. And now here’s this man who wants to be my partner and my rock. I don’t know how to do that.”
“You mean you don’t know how to let your guard down?”
Josie could feel her eyes welling with tears. Her daughter had become such an empathetic soul without her even realizing it. Happy Harbor seemed to have that effect on some people.
“I guess you could say that. He has given me every reason to trust him, but it’s still very scary for me.”
“Well, it seems to me you have a choice to make. Risk being alone for the rest of your life because you refuse to let down your walls, or drop them right now. Burn them to the ground. Put everything you have into building the life you want with the man I’m sure you’ve dreamed of since you were a little girl.”
Josie stared at her daughter. “When did you get this smart?”
“Maybe I did drop into a coma,” Kendra said, putting her finger on her chin.
* * *
Josie slowly walked down the hallway of the hospital. She’d been given her mother’s room number, but she didn’t know what to expect when she walked in. They had admitted her, which was unusual for somebody who was simply intoxicated.
Because she wasn’t on any of her mother’s medical paperwork, nobody had told her a thing. Ethel, as it turned out, was taking lunch to a sick friend, so she couldn’t even get information out of her.
When she finally turned the corner, she saw room two hundred. She thought about knocking, but the door was cracked, so she pushed it open and found her mother lying in the bed, her head turned toward the window. Her eyes were closed, and the TV wasn’t on. There were a couple of flower arrangements in the corner with a Get Well Soon balloon bouquet.
Josie quietly walked over to the flowers. One was from her church group, the other from her AA sponsor. That made sense. Her sponsor would have to work more closely with her in the future.
The balloons were from Bear at work. He said he hoped she got to feeling better soon.
“Are you snooping through my things?”
She turned to see her mother’s eyes open, a slight smile on her face.
“Just curiosity.” Josie crossed her arms and stood there, waiting for an answer. An explanation. An apology.
“I’m glad to see you. How was your trip?”
Josie’s mouth hung open. “How was my trip? That’s what you have to say to me? Aren’t you going to apologize? If you want any chance of a relationship with me, we need to start there.”
Diane looked confused. “Apologize? For what?”
“Do I really have to spell it out? After all these years, do you think I don’t know the signs of you being completely drunk? Did you have to do it in public again? To embarrass me and your granddaughter now?”
“Josie, I?—”
“If you’re going to spout off a bunch of excuses, I don’t want to hear it. I almost left town. I almost let you wreck my life again. But I refuse. If somebody is leaving town, it’s going to be you.”
“You want me to leave town?”
“Yes. I’m not dealing with this again, and I’m not selling the restaurant. You can’t ruin our family legacy. It’s much more workable for you to go somewhere else.”
“Okay, I need to explain something?—”
“I don’t want to hear any explanations. Just say you’ll leave!”
“I will not leave.”
“Why don’t you just call Dan, and he can pick you up from here.”
“Dan? Why on earth would I want to call Dan?”
“I know you were looking for him on my computer.”
Diane put her hand over her forehead. “Josie, that was a moment of weakness where I was looking for him because I wanted to go after him legally to get that money back. I was afraid Walker wouldn’t be able to raise it.”
Josie stood there silently for a moment. “Are you trying to tell me you didn’t contact him? You didn’t speak to him at all?”
“Of course not! Why would I want to bring him back into our lives?”
“If you didn’t hook back up with Dan, then why did you get drunk?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I didn’t drink any alcohol. It was a drug.”
Josie’s face turned beet red. She could feel her blood boiling in all of her veins. “You took drugs?”
“It was one drug. What happened was?—”
Josie marched toward the door. “No. I don’t want to hear any more. I can’t believe you’re doing drugs!”
At that moment, a tall doctor with a white coat and brown hair opened the door and almost knocked Josie to the ground. “Wait, who’s doing drugs?”
“My mother, apparently! That’s what you’re treating her for, right?”
He looked over at Diane and chuckled. “Not unless she has some drugs smuggled in her hospital gown. She’s been tested for everything, all clear.”
Josie was completely confused. She looked at her mother. “What is he talking about?”
“When I said I took a drug, I meant a prescribed one. I had an upper respiratory infection. That’s why I kept coughing. My doctor gave me some brand-new medication that just hit the market. For some reason, it gave me slurred speech and disequilibrium. I was bumping into walls and trying to get help downtown.”
“Is this true?” Josie asked, looking up at the doctor.
“Yes, it is true. Your mother was very lucky that somebody helped her get to the hospital when they did. Those were some very disturbing side effects. We are reporting them to the national database.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Diane, I just came in to let you know we are working on the paperwork to get you released. The nurse should be back shortly.”
Diane smiled. “Thank you, Dr. Benson. You’ve been immensely helpful.”
He turned and walked out of the room. Josie moved over to the window and stared out.
“I don’t suppose we can totally forget what a jerk I just was?” she asked, not looking at her mother.
“Listen, I was a jerk most of your life. You had every right to think what you did. But in the future, I hope you will give me enough benefit of the doubt to at least have a conversation before you almost leave town and cut me off forever.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I really am,” she said, walking closer. “It’s hard for me to learn to trust you, or anyone, really.”
Diane patted next to her on the bed, and Josie sat down. “I know it’s hard. I want the very best for you, but you can’t have that if you push everyone away.”
“You know what I recently learned?”
“What?”
“I learned my daughter is a genius not only at school but in life. She gave me some of the best advice today. I think it might’ve been the coma, but still...”
“Coma? What on earth are you talking about?”