Chapter 16 #2
“Highland, I said cuddle; what did you think I was in here holding hands and kicking our feet? It’s a physical touch type of therapy. And too much for you? What does that mean?”
I got quiet, not ready to say the words I knew had the power to ruin us. But I couldn’t do this.
“What does it mean, Highland?” Olive’s tone was low but it sounded as if she shouted the words.
“It means I really want to be with you, but I can’t with this.
I need you to be all mine, Olive. Not sharing my cuddles and hugs with other muthafuckas.
How is that shit fair to me? You giving away those private intimate moments to someone who isn’t me is—” I paused once I noticed the first set of tears fall down her face.
“It’s just a job. The only intimate things happening are my clients sharing their own personal issues with expressing that side with their partners.
Or those dealing with grief. Highland, I’m helping people process those difficult feelings.
Some people just need hugs. My…our cuddles and hugs are not the same.
I’m giving you myself in those moments. My vulnerability.
You get the side no one else has ever gotten.
Your arms are my safety net.” Olive got up and made her way over to me, falling into my lap, and like a sucka for her, I wrapped her in them.
We sat here with Olive caressing the back of my neck with one hand and playing with my hair with the other.
I bet she did this same technique with another muthafucka.
I let out a frustrated grunt as I unwrapped my arms then hers. “And the fact you don’t see this how I do tells me your decision.” I tapped her leg so I could get up, now fighting back my own set of tears.
“Decision? That sounds like an unspoken ultimatum to me. Say the words, Highland. You or my job, right?” Olive said now, coming up behind me since I was in route for the door. I turned to face her, seeing more tears had begun to flow down her now rosy cheeks.
“If we’re going to be together, then you’re going to have to give up this cuddle shit, Olive.”
She choked out her words. “Why, Highland? And do what? This is my career. That’s like me asking you to give up boat life, hosting your parties with all those naked ass women. You said you trusted me.”
“It’s not the same. Baby, you are literally laying there with another man in a bed.
What if roles were reversed? How comfortable would you be with me doing this shit, huh?
I can almost guarantee you would’ve shut shit down the minute I told you what I did.
This whole back and forth conversation wouldn’t even be happening. ”
“Highland, what you’re asking isn’t an easy decision for me. I love what I do. Would you give up your career for me if I had a problem with it?”
“To keep you? In a heartbeat. Because I know there’s a million other careers I could do to make you feel secure within our relationship.
For you, I would do that easily. It hurts that you won’t do it for me.
I can’t do this. Take care, Olive.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead gently before I grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her lips so tenderly.
If this was the last time I had the opportunity to taste them, I was going to savor her sweet taste.
Her sobs grew louder the longer we stayed connected. I broke the kiss and headed out without another word.
What the fuck did I just do?
The sound of my phone and my doorbell both filled my ears but I wasn’t able to move from the spot on the couch I had been on since I got in from Olive’s office.
The tequila nuzzled between my fingertips was the added touch to help me forget about the sobs from Olive that were now an embedded memory I wished I could forget.
I was still confused about what happened.
I literally just woke up to her in bed this morning and now I won’t ever see her again.
You have to. The kids.
The thought of the kids had me groaning until it turned into an irritated yell. There was no way both Cece and Neela would let shit go back to it being just us three. Nope. I knew Neela especially would be asking for her as soon as they made it home today.
“Fool! What the hell is going on? You don’t hear me calling or knocking on the door?” Tunk asked as he made his way into the living room with a bottle in his hand too. That quickly I’d forgotten his ass was in the other room when all that shit between me and Olive went down.
“I figured whoever it was didn’t want shit. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked sarcastically as I took a swig from the bottle.
“What do you mean? I came to check on you. That whole situation was intense. She’s fucked up, by the way. I mean if you—”
I cut him off. I didn’t want to talk about Olive. I couldn’t, it hurt too bad.
“I don’t. So if that’s your reason for coming over here to check on me, you can get gone. I got two hours before I have to get the girls and I want to have a drink and forget all about the woman who got my chest hurting right now.”
Tunk was quiet as he nodded, taking a seat next to me and cracking his bottle.
“Don’t worry about the girls. I got Kelvin picking them up.
I already knew you would need a minute. But, that’s all you get, Lando.
This was your decision; so stand solid and keep shit pushing.
You got two girls watching you. You ain’t got no time to sit in whatever this is.
You need to be thinking of what you’re going to tell them though. ”
I let out a breath as I grabbed the back of my neck and dropped my head, shaking it in the process. This whole situation was fucked up. It wasn’t just Olive and me in this thing and now we had to think about the kids who had formed an even stronger bond.
“I know. I can already hear Neela asking for her Ms. Liv and Cece wondering why she can’t have any more playdates with Jo-Jo.” I took in a sharp breath as the mention of his name.
You can’t just disappear from his life. You made him promises, Highland. You gotta be a man and keep your word.
“Why would you punish them like that because y’all can’t get it right?
They were friends first before y’all even thought about fucking it all up.
Naw, you gotta make that part work, especially for my little pirates.
Liv told me that Jo-Jo even talked you up to his dad; you can’t just back away from him.
I meant telling them why y’all won't be having any more sleepovers and stuff.”
“I know, but Olive probably won’t even let me be around him now.”
Tunk was shaking his head as he took another sip from his bottle.
“C’mon now, you already know that’s not Liv.
’Member this is the same woman who was watching and doing for the girls without even knowing you.
She understands the kids are innocent in all this; she would never keep him away from you.
Just like I hope you wouldn’t do that with the girls. ”
I dragged my hand down my face as I tossed my head back onto the couch.
“No, but how can I be around her knowing that she’s no longer mine.”
“For the kids, you make anything and everything happen. You already know that, Lando.”
We sat there silent for a while, just drinking.
“I thought she was the one.”
Tunk shrugged. “Could be. Life ain’t over yet.”
As mad as I was at Olive right now. I went for my phone to text her. Like Tunk said, this wouldn’t affect the kids. No. They started off as friends and I would make sure they stayed that way.
Me: I don’t want our decision to part ways to change things with the kids. My girls adore you and I don’t want to take you away from them. And I want to still be a part of Jo-Jo’s life, if you’ll let me. We can work out a system that will work for both of us. Let me know.
Not even two minutes later the three dots appeared then disappeared a few times before Olive’s one word response came through.
Olive: Okay.