Chapter 42
Cecily
After a day spent exploring Sierra Grande, we say our official goodbyes to Bernice and climb into the Road Kraken.
Following a unanimous vote, Dom is driving the motor home to Sedona.
Like the good little wife I am, I grab the passenger seat.
Dom, sexy as hell in his aviators, does not look like he should be operating this gigantic vehicle.
That role belongs to middle-aged and above dads wearing T-shirts from the places they've visited tucked into jean shorts pulled up too high on their waists, and blindingly white clunky tennis shoes.
I'm sure everybody passing us as we climb north on the interstate is doing a double take.
Dom's playlist blares from his phone, grabbing the interest of my dad.
"Classic rock guy, Dom?" Dad stands between our seats, one hand on each to brace himself.
"Uh, yeah," Dom answers, briefly glancing up at my dad before returning his gaze to the interstate. "My dad was always listening to classic rock when he repaired our car. I guess it stuck with me."
"We should meet your parents when this road trip is over. Maybe we'll be one big, happy family." Dad laughs.
I try not to stare at him. One big, happy family? Who is this man standing beside me? First, my mother, and now him. "Have you been micro-dosing with Kerrigan?"
Annoyance passes over his features. "No, Cecily, I haven't."
Duke walks up behind my dad, staring out the windshield the same way.
"I thought one rule of the motor home is that everybody is supposed to be seated while it's operating?" I ask.
"Kind of surprised you care about rules," Duke says, blank-faced.
I sigh, irritated. Unbuckling my seat belt, I stand up. My dad and Duke step aside, letting me through. "I'm going to chat with the ladies."
My grandma, Rainbow, Mom, and Kerrigan play Scrabble at the dinette.
"Hey." I pull over a folding chair tucked between the couch and kitchen counter.
"You're not allowed to help anybody," Grandma informs me, finger pointed in my direction.
Leaning left to look at Kerrigan's letter board, I ask, "What if I help everybody?"
Grandma smirks. "We'll let you help us if you tell us why your husband walked into the hotel with six gallons of milk after we thought you two had gone upstairs."
My arms cross. "Absolutely not."
Grandma shrugs. "Then I guess you don't get to help."
She knows how hard this will be for me. I've been dominating Scrabble boards since I was a kid.
The game continues, and I help myself to an eyeful of everybody's letters.
Is my mom seriously going to place an 'e' at the end of that word? She could put her 'x' below the 'o' and get a triple word score.
On and on, almost as if they're playing like fools to annoy me.
"Fine," I bite out. "We had a sexual mishap." I rearrange the letters on Kerrigan's board, and she looks up at me in surprise. "I would have never put that together," she says.
"I'm aware," I deadpan.
Grandma lays down her word and asks, "What was this sexual mishap?"
"I am not telling."
Kerrigan nods sagely. "Did he come in your eye?"
Instantly the table falls silent. All eyes are on Kerrigan.
"No," I answer, horrified. "I think something might be very wrong with you."
Kerrigan lifts her hands in innocence. "I didn't say I know what it's like. But that would be a terrible sexual mishap." She flicks her hair over her shoulder. "I noticed the absence of moaning last night."
My gaze snags on Dom in the driver seat. The shower water had drowned out his moan.
From nowhere, Rainbow adds her two cents. "I suggest you make your vagina a more inviting space."
"There is nothing wrong with my vagina," I protest. The effect of the habanero is long gone, thankfully.
"There are crystals, specifically a carnelian," Rainbow presses, nodding eagerly. "You put them in—"
I hold up a hand. "Thank you for the suggestion, but there will be no crystals entering my hoo-ha."
Mom laughs. "Cecily, please hand me the folder." She points to an open bookshelf lining the top of the kitchen cabinets.
I retrieve it and hand it over. "What are you doing?"
She flips it to the back, where a pen waits in a little sleeve. "We've been writing funny things down. Quotes and such. What you just said has to go in here."
It's similar to Dom's suggestion that I keep a note in my phone to record these memories. I've been doing it when I remember, typing snippets of our days.
"No way," I say in a rush, because writing down what I just said is too far. Nobody will want to read that later. "Absolutely not."
Everybody around the table is giving me a look that clearly says stop being a poor sport.
"If you're going to write down what I said"—I point back at my chest—"then you have to write down what Kerrigan said, too."
"The difference between me and you," Kerrigan starts, tapping the end of my nose, "is that I don't care. And you do."
"Fine." I extend an arm. "Write it down. Write it all down."
Grandma smiles. "It's good to have you in the Road Kraken, Cecily. We've been missing you."
"I'm sure you're the only one," I say, peeking at Rainbow's letters. There's no helping this woman. I hope she's better at being a death doula than she is at spelling or vocabulary.
"I'm happy you're here," my mom says.
"Me too," Kerrigan adds.
"Same," Rainbow says.
I give the still-an-interloper a look. "I am," she insists. "Your grandmother's energy is much more peaceful when you're around."
"You can feel her energy?"
"I see it," Rainbow corrects, fully serious. "As an aura. Your brother is restless nearly all the time, he is very blue. Your husband is green. He is loving and compassionate. Very nurturing."
This gives me pause. Dom is all those things. "For the record, I think this is horseshit. But do me."
"You and Duke have made it clear you don't care for my work," Rainbow says, not a hint of hurt feelings in her tone. "People like you often don't."
"People like me? What does that mean?"
"Those with a red aura. You're very intense and passionate."
"Ding ding ding," Grandma says, miming the ringing of a bell.
I exaggerate a sigh. "First the vagina carnelian, now the aura. What's next?"
Rainbow presses her palms on the table like she's going to stand up. "Let me get my sound bowls."
"No," everyone shouts in unison, arms extended to stop her.
Mom flips open the binder to the back, finger sliding down the paper until she finds what she's looking for and taps it twice. "No sound bowls in an enclosed space."
Everyone laughs. Everyone but me.
I would not trade traveling alone with Dom in Bernice for anything, but I wouldn't mind understanding these inside jokes.
"I bet you're looking forward to this afternoon," I say to Rainbow. "The binder says we're spending time in Sedona with vortexes, aura readings, and crystal stores."
"I lived in Sedona for a long time," Rainbow answers. "It'll be nice to be back, but what I'm really looking forward to is the glamping tonight."
"Speaking of," Kerrigan says. "How much camping is a part of glamping? Because I'm too delicate for tents and such."
I snort. "Delicate? Or bougie?"
Grandma says, "You'll be pleasantly surprised, but if I think you're being an entitled brat, I'll have them move you to the woods away from everyone else."
"Nature's corner," I say, nudging Kerrigan. "You face away from everyone. And we confiscate your phone so you can't watch the Moose-cam."
Kerrigan sticks her tongue out at me.
Rainbow bows out of the next round of Scrabble, and I sub in. And then, in a move very uncharacteristic of me, I lose on purpose. Kerrigan wins. Under the table, my grandma affectionately squeezes my thigh.
The red rocks of Sedona come into view, and though I've seen it before, that doesn't stop it from being stunningly beautiful.
Our first stop, according to We're Going To Have Fun, DAMMIT is Airport Mesa to feel the vortex.
When the motor home is parked at the far end of the lot because that's the only place with enough space for this behemoth, Rainbow scoots out of the bench.
She stands at the ready for my grandma, should she require assistance.
I fold up my chair and replace it where it goes, then stand at the counter and pretend I'm busy with something so my grandma doesn't feel like I'm watching her.
But I am, in my peripheral vision. I haven't been privy to the ins and outs of her day on this trip, seeing her only in chunks of prescribed time.
Aside from the shortness of breath that is not constant, it's hard to believe she's ill.
Until now. Until her caftan sways just so as she slides from the booth, lifting enough to reveal a swollen ankle.
I glance at my mom and Kerrigan, expecting to see their alarm, but there is only sadness across their expressions. Ten minutes ago we were laughing, but reality has swooped in and smacked us across the face.
I excuse myself to the small but surprisingly nice bathroom, splashing a little water on my cheeks and forehead. I can do this without falling apart. Falling apart is for later, when she is no longer here.
I leave the bathroom and find everybody has walked outside. Dom waits for me, leaning against the open door with his phone in his hand.
"Is work ok?" I ask.
He nods. "I have a meeting tomorrow morning I'll have to call in for."
"Sure," I answer, my thoughts drifting to my job. The meetings I'm missing. It feels odd not to go into work every morning, coffee in hand. I'm not on vacation, but I'm not going to work, and I'm not at home. I'm in limbo, in an alternate universe where all I do is road trip around the desert.
Dom motions for me to go first. When my feet hit the pavement, I stare out across the red mesa, pinon trees growing wild from the canyon walls.
"I feel it," Duke says dramatically, shaking his arms. "The vortex has taken hold."
"Me. Too." I twitch my hands, enjoying the way my big brother laughs.
Rainbow pointedly looks the other direction.
Grandma smacks both of our arms. "Quit being assholes."
She steps away to talk to our dad. Duke and I share a smile, and he asks, "Hey, why did your husband buy a bunch of milk last night?"
"He was thirsty," I answer, turning on my heel. No amount of sibling bonding is worth answering follow-up questions.
Dom leans against the motor home, eating a protein bar. "How many of those did you bring on this trip?"
"A lot," he answers after he swallows. "I knew I'd be eating on other people's timetables, and I figured it was a good idea to have easy food that would keep the blood sugar up."
I tug at his sleeve and bring my lips to his upper arm, saying against the fabric, "My grandma and Duke both asked why you were buying so much milk last night. They saw you?"
"Not your grandma, but the rest of your family was standing next to the scene of the crime when I walked in with the milk. I guess word got around. What did you say?"
"I ended up telling my grandma we had a sexual mishap."
Dom's eyes widen, and I hurry to defend myself. "I know, I know. I wouldn't have said anything, but my grandma is diabolical. She knew just what to say to get me to talk."
Dom presses the last bite of his bar into his mouth. "Which was?"
"She said I couldn't help with Scrabble if I didn't tell them why we needed milk."
He finishes chewing, nodding acceptingly, like that'll do it. "How did you avoid telling them what really happened?"
"The conversation moved on to semen in the eye, and carnelians in the vagina."
It takes a few moments for my words to penetrate before Dom asks, "Carnelians like the crystal?"
I nod. "Supposedly they will make my vagina a more inviting space."
Dom blinks twice. Steps closer, voice low. "As the man lucky enough to spend a few glorious minutes between your legs, I can personally attest to how invited I feel."
My eyebrows raise, my heart beating erratically. "And how invited is that?"
The look in his eyes, hungry and downright devious, softens slightly. His lips part, and I wait for his next words. But they do not arrive. Whatever he was going to say, he folded it back, tucking it away.
I want to know what he was going to say, but maybe it's better if I don't. We're precariously walking a tightrope, dancing on it, while lust and attraction reaches for us, trying to pull us under. How much longer before we succumb?
Dom's hands slip into his pockets, his shoulders straightening as he regains control of himself. "I missed you in the passenger seat today."
My hands run over his shoulders. I do not feel compelled to exercise such control, considering he is currently a bastion of it. "I missed being there."
"You didn't get Bugles."
I pout. "I didn't get to pick out a weird little treat for you."
"There will be other opportunities. I still have my scorpion lollipop and questionable rock candy should we get desperate.
" A gust of wind sweeps over us, and his hands leave his pockets to push my hair back from my face, his fingertips blazing a trail of heat down my throat.
Two knuckles drag across my collarbone. Maybe he's not as in control as I thought.
"I can't wait to get you alone later," he says, a groan but also a growl, something that reaches deep into my belly and takes hold.
My mind fills with memories of last night in the elevator, before my nether regions caught fire.
Before that pain, there was exquisite pleasure.
I want more, and I want it delivered by this man, with his strong hands and nimble fingers.
"I cannot wait to be alone with you." I look over at my family, standing around at the start of the trail.
"Can you hurry up?" Kerrigan yells when she sees me looking. "The vortex is closing."
Rainbow shakes her head. "Vortexes don't close, though their energy does fluctuate."
To Dom, I murmur, "How do you feel about making them think we're walking with them to the vortex, but then we double back and hide out in the Road Kraken?"
"I feel great about it, but Savage Grandma looks like she's pretty serious."
I look back, finding my grandma. Fisted hands rest on her hips, eagle eyes on us.
Dom takes my hand, and we head for the vortex.