Chapter 46
Cecily
After our physical exertion, Dom and I really did take a nap. No alarm, cozy sheets, and Dom's hard chest beneath my head. I don't know which I enjoyed more, the pitter-patter of the rain, or Dom's heartbeats.
I woke to Dom's hand running up the inside of my leg, and I scrambled on top of him. We slept naked, and it was too easy, too convenient.
"I can't pass up the chance," I said to him once I was fully seated.
"I agree with your choice." He spoke roughly, voice thickened by sleep and other things.
Afterward, I took a quick shower, washing the stickiness from my thighs.
We're walking to meet my family at the Sky Island restaurant on the property when Dom reaches for my hand. I love the gesture, tiny, but still satisfying.
"The pines smell amazing after a rain." I take a deep breath, letting it fill my chest.
"That's what I miss most about living in the desert." Dom does the same, dragging in a breath that is deeper, fuller. "The smell of the creosote after it rains."
"What does the city smell like after a rain?"
Dom shrugs. "Trash. Asphalt."
"That can't be true."
"It is true," Dom insists. "I'm sure people have different opinions, and it probably depends on where you are in the city. A walk through Central Park after a rain smells great. Walking to work after a rain, not so much."
"Sounds...delightful."
The Sky Island on-site restaurant looms ahead, all glass windows, and outdoor seating. Two employees dry off rain-soaked tables and chairs.
Dom stops suddenly.
"Everything alright?" I ask.
"I have an idea," he says, palm connecting with my waist as he pulls me closer. "What if I could make it so that we didn't have to be long distance? We could date like normal people. We could—"
He cuts off.
"Finish that sentence, Dom."
He shakes his head. "I don't want to scare you off."
"I'm not going anywhere." My head tips sideways and I give him a sassy little look. "I'm already married to you."
"I was going to say that we could fall in love like normal people. A natural progression."
I poke at one of the buttons on Dom's shirt. "You want to fall in love with me?"
He stares down at me, small smile tugging up one corner of his mouth. "I do."
Dom's words make me happy, sublimely so, but dammit if I don't hear that old refrain in the back of my mind.
You make it difficult to love you.
Anger sparks deep in my belly. I do not want to think of my father right now. I do not want this childhood wound to exist in my present life. I push it away, somewhere down in the depths, locking it up, right where I've kept it for so long.
Dom's blue eyes search my face, and it's like he knows the way I hear my father's hurtful words.
"Cecily," Dom says, capturing my face in his strong hands.
"Yes?"
"I'm going to tell you something at the risk of scaring you away, because I think you need to hear it."
I nod, waiting, hanging on this man's every word. The person I was three weeks ago would be disgusted at how eager I am to soak up everything about Dom.
Tenderly, Dom's thumb strokes my cheek. "You are far too easy to love. You are so easy to love that I have to remind myself to slow down. Give us the proper time to coalesce." He smiles crookedly. "The fact that we're already married notwithstanding."
A searing ache hits my chest. Dom wants to fall in love with me, and in fewer words, he said he's already falling. Do I feel the same?
Yes. Yes a thousand times.
My arms wrap around his neck. I press my face up to his for a kiss. "I want to fall in love with you, too."
"I don't know about you, but I felt the vortex today." Kerrigan pokes at the crackling fire with a stick.
We declined dessert at the restaurant, opting to roast marshmallows over the campfire instead. My parents stayed at the restaurant bar to have another cocktail, and Dominic retreated to our tent to prepare for the work meeting he has tomorrow morning.
I scoff at my sister's insistence. "You did not either, you liar."
Kerrigan throws a marshmallow at me. "I totally did."
"Not," Duke adds. "You totally did not."
Grandma yawns. Exhaustion pulls at her eyes. Has she been looking more tired the last few days? Is it the travel, being on the road constantly?
"I think it's time for me to turn in," Grandma says, her hands finding the armrests on her chair. She pushes up to standing, and Rainbow, present like a shadow, is there to assist.
"Good night, Grandma," we chorus.
"Love you, kiddos," she replies. The three of us share a look. Grandma is many things, but emotionally demonstrative is not one of them. Unless we're counting fiery retorts, and putting somebody in their place.
Rainbow pats Kerrigan's hand as she passes, mollifying her. "Some people are more sensitive to the vortex than others." Her gauzy skirt flows with her retreating steps.
"See?" Kerrigan says, childishly sticking her tongue out at me and Duke. "People with blue or red auras get left out in the cold."
Duke rolls his eyes. "I thought you gave Mom and Dad the last of your shrooms."
I gasp. "I knew they were acting different."
"They only took them once," Kerrigan replies. "They're acting different because they're much calmer now that they're away from the stress of their lives."
I pierce a marshmallow with the pronged end of my poker and hold it over the open flame. "The rest of us deal with stress the old-fashioned way."
Kerrigan makes a face. "Like getting drunk-married in Vegas?" Her eyes widen as soon as she says it. Hand snapping to her mouth, she squeaks, "I'm sorry."
My lips press together as I avoid my big brother's judgmental gaze.
"I knew it," he says triumphantly, drawing my attention. "Your favorite thing to do is to not be a part of this family, but I knew that even you would not get married without telling us."
I sputter, offended and outraged. "Even me? Go fuck yourself, Duke. You were all set to marry Daisy even though it was obvious you weren't in love with her."
"Guys," Kerrigan hisses, playing the role of peacekeeper. "Please remember how important it is for Grandma to see us all getting along. We've been doing really good so far."
"Yeah, because everybody is on their best behavior." My marshmallow catches fire, and I quickly blow it out. "Imagine if we weren't."
"Bloodbath," Duke says, sipping his drink. He has forgone a s'mores making kit and elected for a tumbler of whiskey.
Assembling my s'more, I say, "I think what Grandma would prefer is for us to actually get along."
Duke taps the side of his glass. "That would require the help of a professional."
Kerrigan's laugh is hollow. "Getting this family to hash it out. Can you imagine? We never talk about anything."
"I suspect that's what Grandma wants from this road trip."
Kerrigan sighs. "Well, we can't always get what we want."
Wiping marshmallow from my chin, I say, "I triple dog dare you to go up to Grandma and say that to her face."
Duke rubs his palms on his jean-clad thighs, as if the idea excites him. "Make sure I'm there when you do it because I want to watch."
"Shut up," Kerrigan snaps.
"Very peaceful," he says, flames dancing in his eyes. "Sometimes I think I'm the only person in this family who cares about its future." He zeros in on me. "And then I receive confirmation that I'm right."
"I care about the future of our family, Duke."
"Sure you do," he says. "That's why you married someone none of us knew anything about." He stands up quickly, tossing his last sip of whiskey into the fire, and strides off to his tent.