25. Evelyn
EVELYN
T he look in his eyes was serious.
The way he was touching me, the way he was moving inside me, it all said that this wasn’t just for fun.
There was so much between us already. Years of history, memories, and it had pulled us closer together, even when I didn’t expect it to.
I looked into his steel-gray eyes as he moved inside of me, and all signs of Professor West were gone.
There was only Elliot left, and that made warmth spread throughout my chest. The school girl inside of me was screaming in excitement after finally getting the older boy that she’d always had a crush on.
I knew then that whatever was going on between us was serious to him.
I even knew that the way he was being with me wasn’t like the way he was with the other woman he hooked up with.
He didn’t care if they had a good time. He didn’t care if it lasted long or what kind of impression he was leaving them with.
But he did care about that stuff with me.
He didn’t want to hurt me. When he thrust into me for the first time, knowing I was going to be in pain, he held still and kissed me until the pain eased away.
Even after that, he remained cautious about his movements.
The last few months—really, the last few years—were finally gone.
I wasn’t allowing myself to be held back by my parents’ deaths.
I wasn’t the loser girl who couldn’t have the guy she wanted.
In that moment, I had it all, and anything else didn’t matter.
I smiled when I realized that I was finally getting what I wanted.
“What are you smiling about, Evie? Is something funny to you?” he asked, slowly thrusting back into me.
“I’m happy,” I confessed against his soft lips.
He pulled back and stopped, looking down at me in confusion.
“What? Why’d you stop?” I bit down on my lower lip, and my brows pulled together as I inspected his face like I could read his mind if I tried hard enough.
“I just…” He looked conflicted for a moment before he pushed back into me.
He pressed his chest to mine as his forearms supported most of his weight. With his hands on either side of my head, he tucked a strand of hair behind one of my ears.
“You’re gorgeous,” he said softly. “I’m glad you’re happy, but I don’t know how you could be. I don’t deserve you.”
I placed my hand on his jaw.
“Elliot deserves me.” I lifted my head and pressed my mouth to his.
I could feel him holding back. His mouth wasn’t moving with mine, and I wondered if my statement confused him.
I wasn’t sure if I had mentioned how my mind managed to split him into two people—Elliot was the boy I grew up around, and Professor West was my asshole professor who made my life hell.
Professor West may not have deserved me, but Elliot for sure did.
Acknowledgment must have settled over him because he slowly started to kiss me back, and the longer his lips were against mine, the more he got into it. After only a minute, he started kissing me harder and faster, and his hips started moving once again.
His hand moved to my hip, and he pulled me into his thrusts. The faster his hips moved, the harder he breathed, and the tighter my body became.
He broke our kiss, trailing his lips down my jaw. He nipped my ear as he rolled his hips, making a spark go off inside of me. I didn’t know what it was, but it was there and it warmed me.
“You feel so fucking good, Evie.” He kissed down my neck. “You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of being inside you.” He scraped his teeth along my collarbone.
A whimper left my lips as my release started to build.
“Fuck,” fell from his lips when my walls tightened around him.
“I know you’re going to come soon. I can feel you building around me.
” He cradled my face, his hips moving faster, his cock rutting painfully deep inside of me, hitting some place I’d never been touched before.
“Come for me, Evie. Let me feel you shatter around me, baby.”
I held it back, continuing to let it build.
“You were always going to be mine, weren’t you?” he whispered against my lips. “ All those years, all that waiting, this is what I wanted. You, falling apart under me. Be my good girl, Evie, baby. I want you to come for me. ”
A whimper left my lips as I used all of my strength to hold it off.
It’s not that I didn’t want to come undone.
I just didn’t want the moment to be over.
I wanted it to last as long as possible because I had no idea how things would be between us when we were done.
Would he go back to being the jerk I loved to hate, or would pieces of the boy I grew up with start to shine through?
It didn’t take long before the choice was taken away from me.
He pushed me over the edge with skillful hips and a near-constant rhyme that didn’t relent.
The bomb that was building inside my stomach grew until I could no longer contain it.
When it exploded, it sent shockwaves through my body.
Every muscle tightened, causing my toes to curl.
I dug my nails into his back as I rode the waves.
“Fuck, baby. There you go. Come for me. Just like that. Just fucking like that, Evie. Fuck…FUCK.” A sexy moan left his lips as he buried himself deeper.
A growl ripped from his lips before he lost control.
His hips jerked, and I could feel him pulsate inside me as he drained himself of every last drop.
“Fuck,” he groaned, slowing to a stop.
He didn’t say a word, still buried deep inside me, his breathing heavy and matching mine.
I didn’t know how to feel. I was confused.
I felt so content and sure of the decision I’d made that led me to where I was.
At the same time, I felt panicked about that.
I hadn’t just slept with my childhood crush.
I fucked my professor. A professor whom I couldn’t decide if I loved or hated.
I expected more from my first time. More pain, more regret, more uncertainty, but as I lay beneath him, I knew that I could never regret what just happened.
“You’re incredible,” he murmured against my lips before kissing me gently. He pulled free from my body and rolled onto his back at my side without saying anything else.
We both stared up at the ceiling. I wasn’t sure what I should do now. I almost expected him to kick me out of his bed and revert to being a jerk.
Instead of making the moment awkward or ruining it by turning back into the asshole he was, he just pulled the blanket over our bodies and then turned off the light.
“What are you doing?” I asked when I felt his left hand land on my right hip.
“I’m going to sleep.” He tugged me closer.
“You don’t want me to leave? To go back to my own room to sleep?” I asked nervously.
“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he replied, pulling me closer as he hunkered down in bed. “I want you right here at my side, Evie.”
I smiled to myself in the darkness and rolled to my side, so my back was against his chest. He moved in as close as he could get and buried his nose in my hair.
His left hand was flat against my stomach.
After a moment, he started to lazily trail his fingertips from one hip bone to the other.
Despite the things we’d just done, having him hold me and touch me was turning me on again.
I ignored it, noticing how his hand began to move more slowly and slowly until it stopped completely. His breathing got deeper and even, and I knew he’d fallen asleep.
I closed my eyes, praying he’d still be this guy when we woke.
Elliot was still sleeping when I woke the following morning.
I studied him and noted his long lashes and the way he seemed so at peace.
The lines of irritation weren’t on his handsome face.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was Prince Charming.
And maybe he was, if Prince Charming were my professor.
Knowing I needed to clean myself after our activities last night, I carefully wiggled my way out of his grasp. I moved quietly to the attached bathroom to clean myself up.
I didn’t know how a single act could change my perspective on myself so profoundly. Being with Elliot like that made me feel special. Like I mattered.
I used the restroom, taking note of how sore and tender I was.
I looked between the door that would take me back to the bedroom and the deep bathtub.
He was asleep and wouldn’t notice me gone anyway, so I decided to fill the tub with hot water and the fancy bottle of bubble bath.
I stepped into the massive tub and sat down.
I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as I let the tub fill.
The hot water felt good, and it helped to ease the stiffness in my muscles.
The higher the water got, the more I relaxed.
A few minutes after turning off the water, I heard a soft knock on the door.
I lifted my head and turned to look over in time to see the door crack open.
My eyes met Elliot’s. He didn’t say a word as he opened wider and slid inside.
I watched as he walked toward me in all his glory. It was hard to keep my eyes from falling down to watch the way his big cock hung and moved with his every step, but I managed to keep my attention trained on his handsome face.
He stopped at the side of the tub. “Mind if I join you?”
I didn’t speak. I didn’t want the sound of my voice to break me from whatever dream world I had found myself in. I just scooted up in the tub so he could fit behind me.
He stepped into the tub and sat down, a hissing sound escaping as he adjusted to the heat of the water. With his legs spread and on either side of me, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my shoulder. His hands moved to my hips and then slid up my arms as he began pulling me backward.
“Relax,” he murmured when he felt me try to stop myself from tipping backward. “Trust me, Evie.”
“I don’t know if I should,” I admitted, on edge.
The uncertainty I was feeling had nothing to do with the things we’d done in the bedroom or being with him in the tub.
It was because I didn’t know what was to come.
I didn’t know what things had changed for him.
I didn’t know if I was just something to play with for a short time or if there was more.
Was there any chance for a future together?
“And why not?” His lips trailed along my collarbone.
“This happened so fast. It’s hard to trust things when you feel like you’ve been thrust into them.”
He buried his nose into my hair, and he breathed in deeply. “Or maybe you already trust me and you just haven’t realized it yet.”
“It’s hard to trust something that you don’t understand,” I whispered.
He kissed my neck, just below my ear. “What don’t you understand?”
I tilted my head further to the side, giving him more room. I loved the sensations he was bringing to my skin.
“What this is, what it means, where it’s going,” I said, listing things off. “How you could go from hating me to… this.” I motioned around us.
“I never hated you.”
“Sure seemed like it.”
He placed his fingers beneath my chin and turned my head so I could look at him from over my shoulder.
“The only thing I hated was myself because of how badly I wanted you. This is wrong. You’re my student.
If anyone found out, I could lose my job.
Not to mention, I’m too old for you, and we have a complicated relationship as it is with our past. I told myself I couldn’t have you, and that made me want you more. ”
“So you thought you could be a dick and make that go away?” I frowned at him, trying to understand.
“I thought I could trick myself into hating you, but that clearly didn’t work. Now, I’m tired of fighting.” He leaned in to kiss me, his tongue sweeping through my mouth. His lips were soft yet strong as he deepened our kiss, bringing my sore body back to life in a way that only he could.
I lifted my hand, wanting to wrap my arm around his neck, but he broke our kiss and pulled away quicker than I would’ve liked. He let out a sigh as he leaned back, making it clear he wasn’t allowing us to go any further. His hands moved to my shoulders, where he began to massage them gently.
“You should relax. You need the rest.”
I didn’t know what that meant, but I didn’t want to argue either. My body was sore, and I was tired.
I rested my head beneath his left collarbone, and I closed my eyes. My mind started to drift to the following day and what was in store. The woman he’d spend the evening with popped into my mind, and I opened my eyes. I was no longer relaxed.
“So… the woman you were with earlier?”
“She’s just an old college friend.”
“You’re not interested in her?”
“No. She went through a tough breakup and knew that her ex would be attending this wedding. She didn’t want to show up alone.”
“She’s not interested in you either?”
He didn’t reply.
“Have you two ever hooked up?”
I felt his chest expand when he took a deep breath. “We used to have an on and off thing back in the day,” he finally answered.
I sat up and spun around to face him. “Did anything happen with you two last night?”
His head tilted to the side as he looked at me. A hint of a smirk played at the corners of his mouth. “Are you jealous?”
I rolled my eyes. “Just answer the question, Elliot.”
His brows lifted in surprise, but he didn’t mention my anger. “She tried for something. I shot it down. I wanted you. The end.”
I didn’t know why, but I believed him. His words instantly made me feel better. My shoulders fell as I exhaled all of my anxiety.
He grinned wider and took my hand in his. “You’re cute when you’re jealous. Did you know that?” he asked, pulling me onto his lap where our lips met again.
“I promise you, Evie, you have no reason to be jealous. I’m here with you because this is where I want to be.”
I melted against him.
This was where I wanted to be too. I pushed any other thought out of my head and focused on this moment. The one that mattered.