27. Evelyn
EVELYN
“ T his looks delicious,” I said as I stared down at the plate that had just been placed before me.
There was a perfectly grilled chicken breast served with roasted baby potatoes, covered in a seasoned, buttery goodness.
There were some steamed vegetables, and a basket full of freshly baked, golden brown dinner rolls.
“Let’s hope it tastes as good as it looks,” Elliot said, cutting into his chicken.
I watched as he took a bite. His eyes fell closed as he began to chew, savoring the chicken slowly.
“Well?” I asked.
He looked over at me and grinned. “This is amazing.”
That was all the permission I needed to dig in myself.
Other than the second day we spent in the Bahamas, it was the first time we’d actually been able to sit and have dinner together like a regular couple.
It wasn’t like we could have lunch together in the dining hall, and my evenings had been busy with work or homework since we’d gotten back to campus from our impromptu trip.
I knew he wanted to show me what a relationship with him could be like, so I tried to stay focused and treat the night as if it were a first date.
“So…”
“So?” he repeated, taking a bite of potato.
I smiled as I set down my fork and reached for my glass of wine.
“I thought that maybe we could talk a little? Get to know some personal details about one another?”
“Sure. What did you want to know?”
I hadn’t made a list or anything. I shrugged as I sipped. “How many serious relationships have you been in?”
“One.”
“One?” I questioned, surprised at that. Elliot was gorgeous.
Always had been. I knew he had a rather serious girlfriend when he was in college, but I just assumed that he’d had a few since then.
I’d never met her, but I honestly never cared to.
When he tried to introduce her to me that one time, I had purposely gone to my friend’s house to stay the night, so I wouldn’t have to face a broken heart.
“Yep. Only one.”
I was nervous to ask, but I forced myself to continue. “The girl you brought home when you were in college?”
He nodded as he kept eating.
“Why haven’t there been any more?”
He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Once you have your heart broken once, it’s not something you’re dying to try again.”
I cut off another bite of chicken.
“What about you?”
I looked up at him. “How many serious relationships have I been in?” I thought it was apparent, given he was the one who had taken my virginity.
He rolled his eyes and smirked. “How many guys have you dated?”
I shrugged. “Not many. A couple in high school, I guess, but none worth mentioning.”
“If they got your time, it’s worth mentioning.”
“They’re really not.” I bit down on my lip as I thought about what I was going to say next. “If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?”
His eyes met mine, the smile slowly falling from his lips as he saw how serious I was. “I’ll always be honest with you.”
I took a deep breath as I worked up the courage to ask the question I’d always wanted the answer to. “What happened with you and my brother?”
The question was like a bomb going off. It changed the feeling of the room.
The air felt colder, heavier. The warmth in his eyes vanished, and the cold steel returned.
His jaw flexed, and his hand that was resting on the table twitched.
He put his fork down and leaned forward. “You never asked him about that?”
“I-I did. A couple of times. He wouldn’t ever talk about it,” I said softly.
He scoffed as he picked up his glass, taking a drink. He lowered it to the table and diverted his eyes.
“So… will you tell me?”
After a moment, his eyes found mine. “It was the only time I’d ever been in a serious relationship. She was it for me. We were planning on getting married.”
“Really?” I frowned, my guts twisting painfully at what he wasn’t saying.
He nodded. “Everything changed once your parents died.”
It felt like the air had been sucked from my lungs with those words. My parents dying changed me forever, but I had no idea how much that event changed others as well.
“The two of you got into that argument in the living room. You remember that?”
The moment he mentioned it, the memory played out before me, taking me back.
Tears were pouring from my eyes. I couldn’t make them stop, no matter how hard I tried. “What are we going to do?” I asked Gabe, but he didn’t answer because he hadn’t had time to process everything yet.
He was sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. Elliot was pacing, back and forth, walking from one end of the living room to the other.
“Gabe! What are we going to do?” I asked again, my heartbreak threatening to tear me to pieces as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“You’re an adult now, but I’m not!” Panic consumed me.
“Oh my God. They’re going to take me away!
They’re going to stick me in the foster system where I’ll probably get placed with some sicko who likes to touch kids! Please, Gabe!”
Gabe’s head jerked up, and he glared at me. “If you don’t shut the fuck up, that’s exactly what they’ll do. And I’ll let them!” he yelled.
I started to hyperventilate as more and more tears ran from my eyes. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t do anything but turn and run up the stairs to hide inside my bedroom. I locked the door behind me. My brother might let them take me, but nobody could hurt me if I didn’t let them in.
I nodded my head, trying to push that memory away. We’d both been broken. Gabe had been just as terrified as I was.
“Of course I remember that. I ran to my room and locked myself inside. I vowed never to come out.”
He nodded. “After you ran up the stairs, I bitched Gabe out for saying that shit to you. I mean, I knew he didn’t mean it.
He was hurting and panicked. He just snapped and said whatever it took to shut you up so he could process, but I still bitched him out for it.
You didn’t deserve that.” He sighed. “Anyway, he said he was sorry for acting the way he did, and he brought out a bottle of vodka. Anna was back at my parents’ place, waiting for me.
I called and had her driven over after you locked yourself away.
The three of us sat there, taking pulls from the bottle.
Once we all had a good buzz going and he had calmed down, I brought it up again.
I told him that he was your guardian and that he needed to talk to you, tell you that he was sorry for snapping, and make sure that you understood that he was going to protect you. ”
He was quiet for a moment before continuing.
“Well, you know your brother. He didn’t like being told what to do.
Especially if he had been drinking. The alcohol didn’t take the pain away.
It numbed it. And when I said that to him, I just made it all come back up, but it doubled.
He jumped down my throat. He shot up off the couch and pushed me.
I told him that he needed to grow up and take care of his sister, and that if he couldn’t do it, I would.
That’s when I came upstairs to talk to you. ”
I let my mind wander back to that night again.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Go away!” I called out, my throat aching from all the crying.
“It’s me,” Elliot said on the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”
“No! I’m never unlocking that door. If you can’t come in, neither can CPS.”
“Do you really think I’d let anyone come in here and take you?”
His words made my heart leap in my chest.
“Come on, Evie. You know you can trust me. Let me in.”
There was something about his voice that drew me in.
It made me trust him, even if I didn’t want to.
It made me do whatever he said, even if I didn’t think I could.
All I had to do was shut off my brain and let my body take over.
When I did that, I found myself moving across the room to unlock the door.
The sound of the lock pushed me back into my head, and I turned and ran back to my bed.
I buried my face in the pillows and cried more.
He was so quiet. I almost thought that he’d changed his mind about coming in. But the soft clicking of the door told me that he had opened it.
I froze, waiting for him to make a noise. He didn’t, though. I felt the slight jar of my bed when he sat on the edge.
For a long time, neither of us talked. We just sat with the sound of my soft sobs in the air. I listened to the sound of him breathing in the darkness, a slow, steady rhyme. It almost lulled me to sleep. I nearly jumped when he finally spoke.
“I know things are hard now,” he said quietly. “But I promise, everything will work out eventually.”
I rolled onto my back and looked at him in the dim light from my bedside table. “Nothing is ever going to be the same again.”
He was sitting on the edge of my bed, much like my brother had been sitting on the couch. His elbows were on his knees, and he had leaned forward, hanging his head. He looked over at me, finding my eyes in the dimness.
“No, it won’t, but that doesn’t mean that things won’t work out.
You’re a smart girl. You’ll finish school, go off to college, where you’ll probably meet the love of your life.
One of these days, you’ll graduate and go out into the world to start the career you’ve been working toward.
You’ll marry that lucky bastard and settle down, have kids, the whole nine yards. ”
I wiped at my eyes. “No, that’s how my life would’ve gone if my parents hadn’t died. Now, who knows where I’ll end up.”
“Nothing has to be any different, Evie.”