Chapter 10 Nil #2
I’d say something, but thoughts and words are gone in a snap.
Stan’s fingers slide into my hair. My eyes close as warmer water runs over me.
Behind my closed eyelids, the image of that E stays dark. But the image of his grin is bright, while I listen to him talk. He’s spouting about breakfast. My mind wanders to his deep voice rumbling pleas and moans for me all night and earlier today.
He eases me back a step so the spray hits me fully. I open my eyes to rinse the suds away and find him watching me through the steam with a suggestive grin that goes straight to my groin.
“What?” I snap.
“You stare at me when I washed my hair. It’s only fair I stare back.”
I shake my head, but when his hand slides down to wrap around my cock, I groan and lean into his touch.
He chuckles. “Admit you’re jealous.”
My brows pull together. “Of what?”
He nods down at his chest, the tattoo.
He isn’t wrong. I still don’t say anything.
“Okay, babe.” He drags his fingers through my hair. His other hand strokes slow around my cock. I bite back more groans. “Are we really gonna do this? You’re gonna hide the fact that I caught you staring—”
“You had your eyes closed,” I hiss.
“And like I said, I could hear you stare.”
I breathe out through my nose.
He keeps massaging my scalp with one hand. Too gentle for someone who’s picking a fight with me about how he used to love my sister. I don’t know what to do with that.
Not when I’m the one who wants him—
His other hand twists my dick, mimicking how I did it to him last night. I hold back my thoughts, my words. Everything in me wants to shut down and spill on his hand.
Of course he notices and taunts me about it. “You like that?”
“You know I do,” I growl.
His hand in my hair slips down my wet body until his thumb twirls over my wet tip. My breath leaves me in a low sound I don’t like hearing out of me.
“Ocean Eyes, I love it when you melt. You go so soft, even though you’re so hard.”
“I don’t melt.”
“Sure you do, babe,” he says. “Right into my arms.”
I smack his thigh. He laughs and strokes me faster.
My head falls. I want him so bad. I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted anyone like this before.
Stan makes my heart feel alive. It beats harder. Faster. Feels different. Fuller.
The blame’s on him.
He kisses my shoulder. Heat runs up my side.
“You can ask about the tattoo,” he says.
I can’t think or function enough to say anything back.
“We’ll talk about it soon.” He kisses my neck. “Right now, you’re too close to coming, aren’t ya? Can’t pay attention to anything I say, huh?”
I think I make a sound that comes out from the back of my throat. Don’t know how it sounded to Stan, but he laughs some more into my wet hair.
“Love it when I make ya lose your mind, Calix,” he whispers.
None of the words stick to me. They go in one ear and out the other. But his deep voice does things to me nothing ever has before. My pulse leaps. My core tenses. I need release.
When I feel his lips on my ear… When I feel one of his hands cup my aching balls while the other keeps pumping my cock faster and faster…
“Fuck!” I cry out, coming so hard I see stars.
The E’s erased. His grin stays. His laugh fills the stall, fills my lungs, fills the space in my chest I thought died in the fall.
But I came out the other side, feeling so damn alive.
When my eyes flutter open, I angle my head to steal a kiss from him, to wipe that damn smirk off his face.
My breaths come out ragged. He pulls away. My come’s all over his hand, but he brings it to his tongue. He stares right at me, making sure I see every second of him cleaning my sticky come off his fingers.
Stan takes his time, moaning when he licks his lips. His other hand cups the side of my face.
“As delicious as that was, Ocean Eyes, we need proper breakfast,” he says. “We need the stamina for later tonight.”
It’s a blur after that.
We towel off fast. Clothes go on faster. Shirts slightly crooked from how quickly he pulls his over his head. Mine too. He bumps my arm when we leave for the mess hall.
“I like mornings with you,” he mumbles.
My heart thumps hard. Pretty sure I’m leaking through my boxers. But he needs to know I feel the same way. “Yeah,” I say. “Me too.”
***
We walk into the mess hall late. Much later than we usually do.
The place is full. Every table. Every bench. Everyone talking. Stan walks in, and the room feels like it lights up for him.
People call his name. He calls theirs back.
Someone claps him on the back. Someone else waves him over. He grins at all of them. Big and bright.
Frowning, I follow after him. Some of them know me by name. I know a few of theirs. He knows everyone’s.
Stan nudges me when my ears pick up on some noise happening in a corner. “Look at Sergio and Tomas over there,” he whispers.
Sure enough, Sergio and Tomas are standing and looking tense over at the far wall. Jon’s out of his seat, jaw tight, and walking over to them. Their voices have an edge to them. The sort of tone that says this could go sideways fast.
“I’m saying this all feels like a setup!” Tomas snaps. “We’re all trapped! We’re all drugged! Swear I’m hallucinating again.”
“We all signed the same forms,” Jon says, joining them. “You’re not the only one who’s scared.”
Sergio looks like he wants to sink through the floor. “Not disagreeing here,” he says. “But I’m seeing weird stuff too, and I don’t know what to do with it.”
Stan slows a little to watch. I do too, but I pick up a plate and start filling it.
Idris is moving toward the group in the corner, tray in hand. “Morning,” he says as he steps between them. His voice is calm, but it carries weight in the room. “I’m hearing some concerns. Can I lend an ear?”
Jon exhales through his nose. Tomas crosses his arms and rubs his wrist. Sergio looks at Idris like he’s hanging on by a thread.
“It’s Kys, I think,” Sergio says. “My head’s too loud. Then too quiet. I keep seeing stuff I don’t think are real.”
Tomas adds, “I feel like a lab rat that’s stuck in a maze, but it’s in my mind. All I wanna do is crawl out.”
“I see,” Idris says. “Em and I expected some emotional interference. Your brains are working through old patterns and new signals at the same time. It can feel like a lot.”
“It feels like I’m losing it,” Tomas mutters, frowning.
“You’re not,” Idris says. “But if you try to handle it by arguing with each other, then I’ll have to get creative. Maybe suggest some trust falls. And none of us want that.”
That gets a bit of laughter.
“We’re all in the same boat,” Idris adds. “Same trial. Same side. If you’re feeling too much, please come see me. I’d be more than happy to help.”
Stan jumps in with a shout. “Also, if anyone needs to punch something, I still volunteer!”
So many heads snap toward him. Mine does too. Almost gave myself whiplash.
My eyes widen at his antics. What the hell is he doing?
He puts his hands up, grinning. “I’m serious. Look at me. Prime punching bag material. Pretty face. Floppy hair. History of bad decisions. I’m like a walking therapy tool.”
Jon barks out a laugh he tries to smother. Sergio and Tomas smile.
“Plus,” Stan adds, “if you knock me out, the ship will be quieter for at least ten minutes. That’s a treat for everyone.”
“Stan,” I whisper, dragging him away from the spotlight he put on himself.
He throws me a wounded look over his shoulder. “Wow, babe, still zero faith in my ability to defuse tension?”
From the buffet table, I hear Idris talk loud and clear.
“Here’s what we’re going to do. Please finish eating.
Please drink some water.” He pats them on the shoulder.
“If the feelings get bigger instead of smaller, you come find me or Em. We adjust. No one here is a lab rat. You’re people. You matter.”
Tomas sighs, shoulders dropping. Sergio nods, looking thankful. Jon stares at his plate for a second, then gives Idris a short nod of his own.
After a while, things are calmer. Back to normal. The room settles back into its usual noise.
When Idris fills a tray with a bowl of crackers and a cup of tea that smells like it’s full of ginger, he glances our way. “Good morning, Nil and Stan.”
“Morning, Prince Charming!” Stan says with enthusiasm that could shatter my chest with envy, while I mutter, “Morning.”
“Wish I could stay for a longer chat, but…” Idris lifts the mug in his hand. “Heading back to the MedBay. Em’s a little nauseous. Ginger tea and bland crackers. Doctor’s orders for seasickness.”
That rattle in my ribs disappears. Stan might have gotten chummy with Idris, but I’m the one Stan spent the night with. And it makes me feel warm that, while Em’s watching over everyone else, Idris is taking care of her. Makes sense, honestly.
Studying Idris while he talks a bit more with Stan, I don’t know how I didn’t realize that Idris…might be with Em.
Huh.
Stan claps Idris on the shoulder. “Tell her I said hi and that I’m being very brave about my feelings.”
Idris laughs. “Well, you’ll see her soon, won’t you? You can let her know yourself.”
Stan pouts, munching on a donut hole. “Are you nuts, Prince of Egypt? We both know you’re the only one who’s fluent in Em.”
“When you put it that way, how can I not do you a favor?” Idris says, amused. “Okay, I should get this tea to her.”
He heads out. Stan bumps my arm. “C’mon, Ocean Eyes. Corner table. Best view on the ship.”
He drags me toward a round table that’s too small for two people, but it’s quiet here and it’s by the window.
But it’s not much of a view. The Red Sea looks nice, sparkling under the sun, with a hint of sky in the small round window made of metal frame and thick glass.
Still better than staring at walls, I guess.
But when I face Stan, I find he’s the much better view.
He drops into the seat next to me. His hair’s still damp from the shower. His collar’s crooked. His smile gets bigger when he catches me staring at him.