Chapter 4
Chapter Four
I worried my heart would stop. I worried my voice would freeze in my throat. I worried I'd make a fool of myself.
I did none of those. As soon as Ren turned to me and I met those warm brown eyes, the lump in my stomach disappeared. I could only think of doing one thing.
I laughed. A heartfelt laugh of relief. I held my hand in front of my face to hide it, but my grin was too wide.
Ren looked uncertain for a moment, no doubt wondering what my reaction would be, but his eyes lit up in a matching expression of relief as soon as my lips curved into a smile.
"Hey," I choked out between giggles.
"Hey yourself," he grinned.
I don't know which one of us reached out first. It seemed as if the both of us moved forward at the same time. Within moments we were in each other's arms, my hands flung around his neck while his tightly gripped my waist.
I laid my head on his chest and breathed in, taking in deep lungfuls of his scent. He smelled earthy and warm, like sunshine and sweet grass. His fingers brushed against my ribcage, squeezing lightly. It sent a shiver up my spine. A slow ache began to burn inside me, my nerves singing with delight. I imagined those fingers touching my bare skin, no clothes between us.
As much as I tried to insist otherwise, even after all these years, my attraction to Ren was undeniable.
After long moments he relaxed his grip. I leaned back and looked him up and down, taking stock of him now that we had more time.
He was taller than I remembered. He must have hit a second growth spurt. He wore his suit jacket like he was born to it. I could make out the muscles of his chest, just a hint of them exposed by his unbuttoned collar. My heart thumped a strong beat and a flush made its way to my cheeks. I quickly lifted my eyes up and away from the tempting sight. I wasn't here for that.
I stepped out of the circle of his arms, needing some distance. We stared at each other silently for a few moments. He spoke first.
"It's been a long time." The expression on his face was earnest, eager. A few minutes ago I might have been upset, might have thrown it back in his face. And whose fault is that?
But now that I was standing in front of him, all my anger was gone. I was just glad to see him, to know that he was safe, that he was happy.
"I guess I don't have to ask what you've been doing since I last saw you."
He looked abashed, his smile faltering. I felt bad for a brief moment. It was supposed to be an innocent comment, pure small talk. I hadn't wanted to bring up his past.
Still, I couldn't ignore how long it had been. There was a reason we were having this reunion.
Ren opened his mouth as if trying to reply, then shut it, frustrated.
"You look good." I tried to bring the conversation back around to a less delicate topic. "You hit a second growth spurt."
"You didn't." Ren replied automatically, looking immediately horrified.
I laughed and brushed it off as he tried to apologize. "It's fine. I know I'm lacking the height gene."
The two of us stood there for a few more moments just staring at each other. I didn't want things to get awkward, but I didn't know what to say that wouldn't trigger a land mine of unwanted memories and emotions.
"So, who's your friend?" Kell bounced over and threw his arm around my shoulder. I jolted back in surprise. He certainly was handsy. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"
Ren didn't even blink. I assumed the man's behavior was normal. "This is Ivy Derrick."
"That tells us nothing." Kell dismissed his explanation with a wave of his hand. "Where did you guys meet? How do you know each other?" He cocked an eyebrow and gave the two of us a wicked grin. "How well do you know each other?" The innuendo was plain in his voice.
Morris came up behind Kell and threw him into a headlock, saving me from his clutches and his questions. "Stop bothering the kids."
"No, please, ask away." Jayce's narrow-eyed smirk told me he would enjoy listening to Kell pester us with questions. "Ren has been surprisingly tight-lipped about you."
"Really?" I side-eyed him, wondering why. I'd at least told the girls a few things about our past, even if I hadn't divulged the whole sordid story. "What did he tell you?"
"Just that the girl he met after that concert was someone he used to know and hadn't heard from in a long while."
"Five years," I said, nodding.
Kell gave Ren a sharp look, but the bassist was plainly avoiding his eyes.
"I knew Ivy growing up," Ren said quickly. "We went to the same music school."
"You play, too?" Jayce asked.
"Nothing like what you guys do. I'm a cellist."
"Oh yeah, I remember," Kell said, interest piqued. "You mentioned it in the video."
"You guys all saw that?"
I don't know why I was surprised. There would be no way for the band members to know the video was addressed to one person in particular before they played it.
"We did. It raised a lot of questions, let me tell you."
Kell sounded like he was getting ready to start up a long, involved interrogation, but Morris cut him off.
"How long have you been playing the cello?"
"More than ten years. I started when I was nine." The same age I met Ren.
"And you're attending Opus Academy? You must be pretty talented."
I didn't want to brag, but yeah, I kind of was. I just gave him a smile in reply.
"I'm sorry guys, we're going to have to cut this short."
The young woman, Ailey, appeared next to Jayce with a regretful expression. "We've got an interview scheduled across town in thirty minutes."
Panic rose in my chest. Ren and I had barely had any time to talk. Was this it? Was I going to have to say goodbye already?
"Here." Ren took my hand and pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket, scribbling something on my palm. "It's not an autograph," he told me hastily.
I looked down at my hand. A string of numbers. His phone number. My heart swelled, the butterflies returning tenfold.
"Send me a text. Or give me a call. Or whatever." His smile was nervous but hopeful.
"I will."
"Okay. Great. Awesome." Ren snapped his mouth shut to prevent any other platitudes from falling out.
"Ren? We've got to get going."
Ren looked into my eyes one last time and pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tight for a brief moment. Before I had time to wrap my arms around him and extend the embrace, he let me go. "I'll see you?" He made the statement sound more like a question.
"I'll send you a text," I promised. His eyes never left mine as he was shuffled out the back door.
Kell was last to leave. He turned back and threw me a grin. "He rarely gives his number out to anyone, you know."
The door swung closed behind them.
"So you do know Ren."
I jumped. Mark appeared out of nowhere the moment I walked out of the restaurant.
"What are you still doing here?" Was he waiting for me?
"I hung back a bit and saw you talking to Ren. He gave you a hug. That never happens at fan meetings. You two really must know each other, huh?"
"I knew him back when we were kids."
Mark nodded, looking thoughtful. "And you've been following him ever since?"
Did he think I was just some desperate fangirl? "No. I only just found out who he was."
Mark looked incredulous. "Do you live under a rock?" Then he winced, chagrinned. "Sorry. I didn't mean it to sound like that."
"I'm not really a fan of that kind of music. My friends dragged me to a Feral Silence concert. That's when I realized who he was."
"Are you going to see him again?"
I frowned. "How is that any of your business?"
Mark looked me up and down. What was he seeing when he looked at me? I was wearing plain black shoes with a knee-length skirt and warm tights. I wasn't wearing much makeup and my hair was falling down my back, most likely a tangled mess by now. A fit of pique began to rise up in my chest. Was he judging me for not dressing up? I wasn't the chic and stylish type. So what?
"You seem like a nice girl, Ivy. I hope you don't mind if I give you some advice?"
"What?"
"Stay away from Ren."
I was taken aback. Who the hell was this guy? He was a total stranger. "Why?"
Mark looked embarrassed. "Look. These guys are rock stars. They're rich and famous. They've got girls hanging all over them, you know?"
"I've noticed."
"I'm just saying they've got a reputation."
I bit my lip. I had read stories on the internet, it was true, and here was a male fan of Feral Silence saying the same thing.
"It's just…" Mark hesitated.
"What? What are you trying to say? That nice girls don't date rock stars?"
"No. It's the other way around. Rock stars don't date nice girls."
Mark met my eyes, looking uneasy.
"Rock stars use nice girls."