Chapter 6
Chapter Six
I double and triple-checked the job posting, making sure I had the right address. I didn't want to show up at the wrong building and miss my audition time. LuxurEvents was holding auditions at their office downtown. I would have had to lug my cello downtown for class if I hadn't skipped it for the audition, so it wasn't that much of an inconvenience. Still, every time I hauled my cello up and down subway station stairs, some small part of me wished I had taken up the flute instead.
A piece of paper was stuck to the building door to let applicants know they were in the right place. I pushed open the door to find a couple dozen other musicians with their instruments waiting in a vast reception area. I was a bit taken aback; I hadn't thought there would be so much competition. I supposed jobs for classical musicians were hard to come by.
I quickly zoomed in on the applicants with cello cases. There were seven others ranging from late teens to early forties. I couldn't tell how talented they were just from looking at them, but I still wanted to size up my competition. They all had serious expressions on their faces, some with slight frowns on their lips. Worried? Nervous? We probably all were.
My own nerves threatened to act up, but I kept on reminding myself that I was just as good, if not better, than any of the musicians here. My professors thought so, and they were world-renowned.
I just had to make sure thoughts of a certain handsome rock star didn't intrude while I was playing.
Ren had been messaging me ever since I skipped out on our date. He must have realized I was upset, because he kept apologizing and telling me it would never happen again, that if fans approached him the next time we went out together, he would tell them no.
That wasn't what I wanted, though. I couldn't pretend Ren wasn't famous. Of course he had to be friendly to his fans—they were the whole reason Feral Silence was so popular. Their support was what helped the guys get to where they were.
No, I wasn't upset he had ignored me for his fans. I had simply been reminded of my place. I wasn't the rock star girlfriend type.
But I was the kick-ass cellist type.
When they called my name, I entered the audition room with my head held high. Two women and a man sat at a small table, chatting quietly to each other. All three wore chic, professional outfits, the women with flawlessly applied makeup and the man with carefully coiffed hair. It would have been almost intimidating if it wasn't for their ages. They looked only a few years older than me, barely out of college. I wondered if maybe the company left the hiring up to the interns.
I approached the single chair in the middle of the open room. They asked what I would be playing and I told them the Boccherini Concerto in B flat Major. They nodded, but didn't look impressed or surprised, so I assumed they didn't know a lot about classical music. I'd just have to hope they liked the piece on its own merits and not its reputation.
I took my cello out of its case and sat, placing it between my legs. I've heard enough 'between your legs' jokes to last a lifetime. Thankfully the events people were too professional to make any such comments.
The music came to me easily, notes flowing from my fingers through the bow to the strings, sweet sounds echoing in the room. I closed my eyes as I played, not wanting distractions. I just let the music flow through me, letting it fill me to the brim, letting it wash away all my worries, all my doubts. Nothing existed for me in those moments except for the music.
I swept my bow over the strings one last time and relaxed my fingers. When I cracked my eyes open, I found wide eyes and smiling faces. They looked impressed now.
They thanked me and said they would let me know their decision within a week. I made sure they had my correct contact information on file before leaving. It would suck if a typo in my phone number cost me the job.
I suppressed a grin as I left the audition room, not wanting to gloat in front of the job seekers who had yet to be called in. The moment I hit the sidewalk, though, I couldn't help but laugh in relief. That had been one of my best performances in a long time—even better than some of the stuff I'd played for school exams.
I took in a deep breath of brisk air, sighing happily. So what if I wasn't gorgeous or trendy or famous? I would always have music and performance and I was damn good at them. When I drew that bow across those strings, I became something bigger than myself. I wasn't just Ivy the music geek. I could wring emotions from an audience's chest, make their breath stop in their throats, force their hearts to swell and burst.
When I played my cello, I was the one who was amazing.
"And where have you been?"
I'd tried to sneak into my bedroom unseen after my audition, but no such luck. It was almost like Jen and Nat had been waiting for me in the living room.
"Hey guys." I aimed for nonchalance. "What's up?"
"You had a date with a rock star and haven't told us any of the details yet, that's what's up," Jen continued.
I turned around to hang up my jacket, hiding a grimace. I hadn't wanted to tell the girls about my date with Ren, if it could even be called a date. It was just two friends meeting up for coffee, and having it cut short by fangirls.
I felt disappointed. I felt let down. I knew it wasn't Ren's fault, but I doubted we'd see each other again. There was just too much distance between the two of us.
Besides, I had other things to worry about, like studying and practicing and part-time jobs. I didn't have time for boys, and I especially didn't have time for a boy who caused so much doubt and conflict inside me.
I had never doubted myself, not once, until I met Ren again. I didn't like the person I was turning into.
I shrugged, trying to play it off as nothing. "Not much to tell. We got coffee, talked a bit. It was nice."
"Nice?" Natalie looked flabbergasted. "I don't think the word nice is even allowed to be in your vocabulary when talking about one of the members of Feral Silence."
"Are they not nice?" I frowned. I'd barely spent more than five minutes with the band, but they all did seem…well, nice. Kell was full of himself, Jayce had too much sex appeal for his own good and Morris was a bit intimidating, but they hadn't seemed like bad people.
"They're gods ." Jen's voice was reverent, insistent. "Nice is for the boy next door who stutters when asking you to prom. A date with Ren should include the words hot and irresistible.
"He is good looking," I admitted.
"Again with the understatement." Jen's exasperation was evident. "Ren is gorgeous. Those cheekbones and those lips and that hair—ugh!" She threw her hands up in the air. "Why are you not at his place having sex right now?!"
"Whoa, hold up. Who said anything about…that?" I couldn't help the blush rising to my cheeks. "It's been years. We barely know each other anymore. He's changed. I've changed. I don't even know if he's interested in me like that."
And even if he was, I didn't know if I could do it. Someone like Ren couldn't possibly be with someone like me long-term and a one night stand wasn't really my thing, not even with someone as hot as Ren.
"We're not saying you have to jump into bed with him right away." Natalie shot Jen a dirty look. "We just want to live vicariously through you. Throw us a few details. Satisfy our curiosity. It's not every day a normal girl gets to date a rock star."
"That's the problem," I murmured. Normal girls, nice girls, didn't date rock stars.
And according to one male fan, rock stars didn't date nice girls.
I tried to push back Mark's words. He was a stranger, and I shouldn't listen to the advice of just one guy.
But wouldn't a guy have more insight into another guy's mind? I couldn't silence that small voice in my head making me doubt myself again, making me doubt Ren.
"I just don't think it's going to work out, you guys." I wandered into the kitchen to get a diet soda, hoping to avoid their disappointed faces. I knew they meant well, but they didn't understand the turmoil raging inside me. This whole Ren thing was a distraction I didn't need.
Yes, I was attracted to him—Ren might even be attracted to me—but the two of us were worlds apart. It would never work out.
I couldn't keep worrying about it. It was time to set it aside.
"Did I tell you I auditioned for a part time job?" I called out, not waiting for their response. "It's for an for an events company. I'd be the person playing cello at fancy parties and corporate events. Kind of swanky, right?"
I poked my head out of the kitchen. They both still had expressions of dismay on their faces. I forged ahead.
"I think I've got it in the bag. That audition was some of the best music I've ever played. I wasn't even nervous! They seemed pretty impressed at least."
Nat and Jen gave me mournful stares. I ignored it.
"Having the extra money will be nice. Maybe I can even buy a new case for my cello. Mine's gotten kind of banged up after all these years."
I'd never told the girls about my financial situation. It would just worry them. Besides, they'd probably insist on paying for my part of our weekly groceries, or even worse, offer to cover my third of the rent.
There was no way I could let them do that. They were poor students, too, even if they weren't in quite the same dire straits as me. I was determined to do it on my own. My mom had to fight her way up throughout her whole career and my dad had given everything he had to his small business, putting every ounce of energy and passion into making it work. They never accepted handouts from anyone. I'd be damned if I'd let them down by doing so myself.
"What song did you play?" Jen asked tentatively.
Good. She was willing to let me change the subject.
"The Boccherini Concerto."
Nat was shocked out of her somber mood. She gave me an approving nod and slow clapped. "Damn, you sure don't make things easy on yourself."
"I really wanted the job." I really needed the job. "I had to impress them somehow."
"I can guarantee you that no one else would have been as bold or self-confident as you to pull that off."
Was I bold? When it came to my music, I supposed I was. I could probably give that blond lead singer a run for his money when it came down to it.
I just wished I could be so self-assured when it came to me and Ren.