Chapter 9 Kaylee
NINE
KAYLEE
One week after I’d left Micah’s apartment, one week after I’d issued him that challenge, he called us all into the recording studio. We were all a little surprised at how fast he was moving. We’d only just decided on our songs.
“Don’t worry,” Micah said once we had all arrived.
His hands were in his pockets and with his rapidly blinking eyes he looked on edge, half a step away from a nervous breakdown.
“We’re not recording anything officially today.
I just had something I wanted to share. Sorry in advance for my singing, but I want you to hear the lyrics, too. ”
“Can’t be worse than Finn,” Zain ribbed.
Instead of taking offense, Finn just shrugged. He couldn’t protest when it was the truth.
Micah’s singing efforts were always fine. Not the best, but not ear-splitting. Still, his exceptional talent on keys made his singing sound like a dying cat in comparison. He knew it wasn’t his strong suit and left vocals to Anya, and every so often me or Zain.
“You guys stay over here.” Micah headed into the room on the other side of the glass. His arms vibrated slightly, as if his hands were trying to shake but couldn’t, stuffed into his pockets as they were.
“Do you know what he’s going to play?” Zain asked. It was addressed to the room, but I knew everyone was waiting for me to answer.
“Not a clue,” I said.
“I think it’s something new he’s been working on,” Anya answered. She was soft-spoken as usual with an even tone, but there was something in it. Her voice was too even. She was purposefully trying to sound placid, as if she was suppressing something.
I tried to catch Anya’s eye. She refused to look at me, but there was a small, pleased smile on her lips.
Once Micah had sat at the piano he peered out through the glass at our gathered group until he found me. I met his eyes steadily. We hadn’t spoken in a week. I’d wanted to give him space to think.
I had no idea what was going on inside that head of his and I hated it. I always used to know what Micah was thinking.
As I held his gaze that nervous edge slowly dissipated, his shoulders relaxing, not as tense as they had been.
He gave me a brief smile, surprising me as his expression softened.
He turned back to the piano and put his fingers to the keys.
It seemed like he was nodding to himself as he took a deep breath, looking resolute.
Then he began to play and sing.
There’s no undoing
I can’t ask for your forgiveness
But I know it’s time
For me to be finally be fearless
My heart squeezed in my chest almost painfully. During our last conversation Micah had admitted he was scared. He’d asked me why I wasn’t scared, too. Why I wasn’t scared of the consequences. I’d told him it was worth the risk.
That had been the sticking point. The reason why we hadn’t spoken for a week. I’d asked him if he was willing to risk it all for us, too. I’d left him to think about it.
It’s always been you
Standing by my side all along
The girl of my dreams
Your embrace is where I belong
Tears stung the backs of my eyes. I blinked them away rapidly. Micah had always been there for me. The one person I could rely on when everything else in my life was a mess. I had always hoped I could be the same for him.
So when our lips touch
I know the sweet music we’ll make
I can’t wait to see
The beautiful things we’ll create
A choked liquid chuckle bubbled up in my throat. He’d thrown in a metaphor, just for me. I wondered how long he’d had to sit there thinking of just the right lyrics.
I can’t lose you now
You’re the one that I treasure
So if you’ll have me
I’ll stay with you forever
The song came to a close. Micah’s voice went silent. His fingers stilled on the keys. He stared at his hands.
My cheeks were wet, a few tears having slipped down my jaw to leave damp droplets on the collar of my shirt. I swiped my sleeve across my face before anyone could see, but I knew my red eyes would give me away.
“Let’s take five,” Chris declared to the room suddenly, and the group moved toward the door, Zain and Finn giving me dumbfounded looks. As Anya passed me on the way out, I leaned into her.
“Did you help him with the lyrics?” I asked.
Anya gave me a sweet smile with a light chuckle.
“Nope,” she said. “It all came from his heart.” She squeezed my hand briefly before letting go. “Good luck,” she said as she walked out.
That left me on one side of the room and Micah on the other. I stared at him through the glass. He still hadn’t looked up from his hands, head bowed and messy dark hair falling over his forehead.
I wanted to say something, needed to say something, but every time I tried to speak, my breath hitched.
Micah must have worked night and day to compose this new song, including lyrics, just for me. Just so he could finally express himself. So he could give me an answer the only way he could.
Micah finally looked up. Our eyes met through the glass. His expression was open, unguarded, defenseless. I knew I had the power then to either break his heart, or make it whole.
I flicked the button to turn on the intercom so Micah could hear my voice in the other room. His whole body tensed in anticipation.
“Do you think the others will let us put that one on the album?” I asked. “It’s your best yet.”
Micah paused, taking that in. Then I smiled at him.
Relief flooded his face as he leaped from the piano and bolted out.
Within seconds Micah was at the doorway.
He looked around, as if making sure there was no one else there.
Then he slowly, purposefully, shut the door, leaving the two of us alone together.
“I want you to know,” he started, looking down at his hand, still on the doorknob, clenching tight, “I’ve never had an easier time writing a song.
But this was also one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
” He looked up to meet my eyes, brown gaze pooling with desperation, with a plea and a prayer.
“And you have to believe me, I meant every word of it. Every single word.”
“I believe you,” I told him.
His whole body sagged, tension bleeding out of him.
“But,” I continued, “did you really think I’d forgive you?”