Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
KAYLEE
Afew days had passed since our last band meeting. When everyone began to shuffle in, there was a weird tension in the air. Usually whenever we all got together the mood was boisterous and electric. But this time, there was an unfamiliar somber note to the gathering.
I knew exactly where it was coming from.
Today we were discussing what to do about our second album. Which songs to select. Which vibe to go with.
Did we stick with our original sound, or did we shake things up and try something new?
Did we appease the label and our fans, or did we keep true to ourselves and our muses?
It was the age-old ‘art vs business’ dilemma that all professional artists faced.
We hadn’t been able to come to an agreement last time, so we’d all taken a couple days to think about it. Now the day had come to talk about it.
There was tension in the air, and a knot in my stomach. I’d never felt this uneasy before a band meeting. Never. I hated it, and what it might signal.
Things had been going so well with Micah that I’d almost put this discussion out of my mind. I hadn’t even talked about it with any of the others even though we lived in the same house. It wasn’t until Micah had reminded me that I even considered what arguments I might bring to the table.
I knew what my heart was telling me, and I knew I had to follow through. I also knew that Micah wasn’t going to like hearing that. Zain, Finn, Anya and Chris… I had an idea of which side of the debate they might fall under, but I didn’t want to assume.
I took a seat on a drum stool. The toe of my boot was just able to touch the floor so I could use it to swivel back and forth. I picked up a pair of drumsticks and twirled them between my fingers in rapid motions.
It wasn’t until I realized that I was clenching my jaw to a silent rhythm that I stopped my fidgeting. The atmosphere was strained and I didn’t want to add to it. I made myself relax, unclenching my jaw, putting down the drumsticks, and rotating my shoulders.
I was usually the mood-maker of the group. Whatever I did, however I acted, everyone else would follow my lead. Which meant it was up to me to dispel this tension and bring some fun back into the game.
“All right, you genius, talented rock stars, let’s do this thing,” I cheered. “We’ve got some of the most talented young minds in rock music gathered in one room. Let’s create something brilliant.”
“Sorry Finn, that means you have to leave,” Zain quipped to his best friend with a laugh and a nudge to his ribs.
“Why does everyone always gang up on me?” Finn complained, feigning a pout. “Try throwing one of your zingers at Anya or Chris next time.”
“They don’t react like you do,” Zain told Finn with a smirk. “You make it too easy.”
“Hey, I’m an expressive guy, what can I say?” Finn spread his arms wide with a grin, not bothered in the least. “Kay, I’m surprised you haven’t jumped in by now. Usually you’re the first person to mouth off at me.”
“But Zain’s doing such a great job at it,” I said. “Why would I take away his fun?”
Finn turned that pout on me, then got an evil look on his face and I dreaded what he was going to say next.
“So, Micah,” Finn spoke up loudly. “What’s it like taming the untamable? Kay’s such a handful, I can’t imagine what it’s like to actually—”
“Stop.” Micah tried to sound stern, but it came out in a groan. “There will be no speculation on our relationship. Ever. It is not up for discussion.”
“Aw, c’mon, you can’t tell me Kaylee isn’t sharing all the deets with Anya?” Finn cajoled.
I tried not to get that deer-in-the-headlights look, keeping my face smooth. I didn’t want Micah to think I was dishing on everything we did together, but it was true I had shared some details...
“Girl Code requires that I do not divulge anything I’ve been told in confidence,” Anya said evenly, her long dark hair falling over her shoulders as she leaned forward. “What does Guy Code say?”
Finn opened his mouth with a wicked glint in his eyes. I picked up a drumstick and threw it at his head, making him duck with a wince.
“Girl Code and Guy Code says that everyone shuts up about my relationship with Micah,” I said. “Nothing’s changed. We’re still all bandmates together. Don’t make things weird. So, new topic,” I declared. “We’re here to talk about Until We Break’s second album.”
The lighthearted mood I’d tried to work up instantly dissipated, expressions falling and eyes shifting.
“We all had a few days to think, so let’s open up the floor,” Micah said, stepping in as leader.
“I love the new stuff, and—” Zain said.
“I love the new stuff, but—” Finn said at the same time.
The two best friends stopped and looked at each other. Great. So already we were in disagreement.
“Zain, why don’t you go first?” Micah said.
Zain moved his sharp gaze from Finn to Micah.
“I love the new stuff,” he said. “It’s got a more mature sound. It really shows off our growth as artists.”
“You’re not wrong,” Finn jumped in. “I love the new stuff, too. But, Zain, man, you have to admit that it’s really experimental. That song you wrote? It’s like a completely different band wrote it. It doesn’t sound like us.”
“But it could sound like us,” Zain insisted. “That’s what I’m saying. Why not let our music move in a new direction?”
“This is less like moving and more like throwing ourselves off a gigantic cliff,” Finn said.
“I know you love to exaggerate Finn, but I don’t think our fans will see it that way,” I interjected. “I don’t think the label will see it that way. If we give people the exact same thing we did as last time, they’re going to get bored. They’ll lose interest.”
“But our fans love us because of what we gave them,” Anya said softly. “That’s why they listened. That’s what they expect to hear from us. Do we want to release something totally different and confuse them? Or even let them down?”
“Chris, what do you think?” Finn asked, turning to our rhythm guitarist.
Chris raised both hands and shook his head.
“I don’t want to get in the middle of this,” he said. “It’s not my place to butt in.”
Chris was a pretty chill guy, so he usually stayed quiet during band discussions, preferring to let the rest of us hash things out.
“You’re a member of this band, too,” I said. “We need your opinion.”
His expression turned surprised, before a pleased smile tugged at the corner of his lips, despite the tension in the room.
“Well…” Chris hesitated, looking thoughtful. ”Is it letting the fans down to show them a different side of ourselves?” he said. “I think it’s more about us opening up to them, by showing them our true selves, by showing them our growth.”
He’d said it wasn’t his place to butt in, but he clearly had his own thoughts. I wondered why he hadn’t spoken up without being prompted.
“We can debate about what the fans do and don’t want all day,” Micah cut in. “But in the end, it’s the label who makes the decision whether to release and promote this next album or not.” Micah gave us each a pointed stare. “That’s who we need to please first. The label, not the fans.”
A spark of indignation lit up in my chest, but Zain spoke up before I could.
“Micah, seriously?” he snorted loudly. “You sound like such a sell-out right now.”
I winced. There was a sharp inhale from Anya. Finn blew out a surprised huff. Chris’s expression turned unreadable. Micah’s eyes went wide and his jaw clenched.
“Selling out?” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m doing what’s best for the band. You want this album to actually be released, right?”
“Of course I do—” Zain began.
“Then this conversation is over,” Micah said. “Because we all know what the right thing to do is.”
“No, we don’t,” I said.
Micah whipped around to look at me, stunned.
“We don’t know for sure what the label will think.” I stood up from my stool. “We don’t know for sure how they’ll react.” I picked up a drumstick and pointed it at Micah. “We haven’t even tried.”
“You don’t know them like I do,” Micah insisted.
“That’s because you’re the only one who talks to them!” Zain argued. “Whenever it’s time to talk to the suits, you’re always the one who takes point. You’re always the one making the decisions. We never get a say.”
“I do it to protect you guys!” Micah protested. “Those ‘suits’ are a bunch of assholes, we don’t all need to be on the receiving end of their bullshit.”
“So you’re taking one for the team, is that it?” Zain said snidely.
“Shut up, Zain,” Finn snapped. “You don’t want to talk to the execs at the label any more than I do. You’re just getting upset for the sake of being upset.”
“And why aren’t you upset about all this?” Zain rounded on Finn. “Before you met Corinna, you would have been the first one to want to try something new, but now—”
“How the fuck is my girlfriend relevant to this conversation?” Finn said, outraged.
“Because now you’re all okay with playing it safe,” Zain fumed. “That’s not who you are.”
“Fuck you man, you have no idea who I am,” Finn snapped.
“Apparently I don’t,” Zain retorted. “Not anymore.”
Finn looked like someone had slapped him across the face.
“Finn’s right, Zain,” Anya said, and that surprised me even more than Chris. Anya avoided confrontation at all costs. “You’re upset. This isn’t even about the music anymore, this is you being defiant.”
“Is it defiant to want to stick to your artistic vision?” Zain said. “I’d call that being honest.”
“Artistic vision? You’re really going to play that card?” Finn scoffed. “You only ever cared about the women and the parties more than anything we played on stage.”
Zain’s offended expression was on the verge of outright hostility.
I had to step in before this got out of hand.
“Finn, you know what Zain means,” I said. “We just want to make the kind of music we want to make. The only reason you’re not agreeing is because you want the label’s approval. You don’t want to risk pissing them off again, not after everything that’s happened.”