Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
MICAH
“All right, out with it.”
I turned around to see my mom standing in the kitchen doorway, watching as I stirred the pot of vegetable soup. She hadn’t had much of an appetite the last few days, but she could keep down soup at least.
“Out with what?” I asked.
“Lord knows I’ve seen you all mopey and angsty before,” she started with roll of her eyes. “But I have a feeling this is different. You’ve never been this down.” She left the doorway to sit at the kitchen table, lowering herself into the chair gingerly. “Did something happen with you and Kaylee?”
I hesitated, not knowing how much to tell her. I didn’t want to add stress on top of her illness.
“It’s nothing you should worry about,” I told her. “Just band stuff.”
“I don’t think ‘just band stuff’ would have you looking like the world is coming to an end,” she said sympathetically. “Honey, you know you can tell me anything.”
I stopped stirring the soup and turned the burner on low to keep it from boiling over. I turned around and braced myself against the counter.
“We had a fight,” I confessed.
“You and Kaylee?” my mom asked, her expression dropping.
“The band,” I clarified. “We all had a big fight over a disagreement. More than a disagreement, really. Kay said it was a fundamental difference in values.”
“That sounds serious.” She gave me a concerned look. “What kind of difference?”
I didn’t want to outline the whole argument for my mom. For one, I didn’t know if she would even be interested in that kind of debate, and for another, I dreaded knowing which side she might be on.
“Just music stuff,” I told her vaguely. “We can’t all agree on something. The band is split in two. Anya and Finn agree with me. Zain and Chris agree with Kay.”
“You and Kaylee are on opposite sides?” my mom asked carefully.
“We promised each other we would work through this together,” I told her.
“And I really want to. I don’t want to lose her.
” I sighed and sat down at the kitchen table next to her, slumping in the chair.
“But during the fight we all said some pretty awful things to each other. This isn’t just a situation of agreeing to disagree.
This is affecting our careers and our personal relationships. ”
“I’m not going to try and give you advice on the career part because I’m not qualified for that, but I do have experience with relationships,” my mom said with a soft smile.
“It can be hard to forgive and forget when things are said in anger. Your father and I slung some terrible insults at each other over the years.”
“Really?” I asked, sitting up in my chair. “But you and Dad were great together. You really loved each other.”
“We did,” she agreed. “That’s why it hurt so much whenever we fought. That’s why making up was hard. We knew what to say to cause the most damage.”
“How did you get past those fights?” I asked, rethinking everything I thought I’d known about my parent’s blissful marriage. “How can we?”
“You just have to remember how much you love each other,” she said with a fond smile. “You have to remember that the bond you share is stronger than a few mean, off-the-cuff remarks.”
Was it really as easy as that? The thought of going up to Zain and telling the guy how much I loved him made something inside me cringe in horror. I loved the guy like a brother, but I wasn’t going to announce it like some romantic declaration in a movie.
“You know what I think the next step is?” my mom said. “You and Kaylee need to have a talk about what you’re going to do moving forward. If the two of you can find a way, then the rest of the band should be able to as well. You two can be the example for the rest of them.”
“You think so?” I asked my mom hopefully.
“If anyone can figure out a way to make it work, it’s you and Kay,” my mom said. “I’ve never met someone as tenacious as her.”
Unfortunately, that was part of the problem.
“And if the worst case scenario happens,” my mom continued, taking my hand in hers, “if you two can’t work it out, if the band breaks up for good, you won’t be alone. You’ll always have me.”
Her hand was comforting against mine, but it was also small and shaky with paper-thin skin. My mom had always been here for me, had always taken care of me. Now it was my turn to be there for her, to take care of her.
Which meant I needed to have a conversation I’d been putting off for too long.
I took my mom’s frail hand in both of mine and squeezed gently.
“Can I ask you for something?” I started.
“Of course, honey, anything,” she replied, squeezing back. She might regret saying that after what I asked next.
“Will you let me hire someone to come take care of you?”
My mom’s face immediately scrunched up, as if someone had waved a rotting fish under her nose.
“Just hear me out,” I continued before she could say anything. “Your health comes and goes, and it’s not predictable. Sometimes you’ll be fine for weeks, and then other times you’ll be ill for days on end. And I’m not always going to be here when that happens. You need someone to look after you.”
My mom opened her mouth, an obstinate look on her face. I powered on.
“I’m not saying you need someone invading your space twenty-four seven,” I explained.
“I’d just feel better if you had someone who could be here when I’m not.
Someone who could check in more often than I can.
I hate the thought that you could be alone here struggling without anyone knowing or being able to help.
I hate the thought that something worse might happen if you don’t have any help. ”
I didn’t realize how desperate and worked up I’d gotten until my mom put her hand on my cheek and I felt how cool it was compared to my heated skin.
“This really bothers you, doesn’t it?” she asked, unsettled.
“I worry about you all the time,” I told her.
Her hand left my cheek and she looked down at the kitchen table. After a moment she let out a sigh.
“I hate the idea of losing my independence,” she began. “I hate that someone else might invade my personal space. But,” she added, lifting her head to look at me. “I hate the thought of you worrying this much even more. I don’t want to add to your troubles. You’ve had enough of them growing up.”
A spark of hope lit up in my chest.
“So if having someone pop in to check on me will ease your mind, then all right,” she said with a nod. “I’ll put aside my pride and accept help.”
I let out a sharp breath as relief flooded through me.
I had been dreading this conversation, not wanting my mom to know how stressed out I’d been over her condition.
I’d also been worried that this conversation might turn into a fight, and I didn’t need another one of those right now.
But she had agreed to let me get someone to help her.
“I’ve already done research on some caregiving companies,” I told her. “I’ll email you all the details and you can look through it whenever you’re up to it.”
“Thank you, honey.” My mom gave me an indulgent smile. “I know you only want what’s best for me. Just like I only ever want what’s best for you.”
I smiled back, but then frowned when the smell of something burning wafted from the stove.
“Oh no, the soup,” I groaned. “I thought I turned the burner on low.”
Before I could get up, my phone rang. Rang, not pinged. Someone was actually calling me.
“You take that call while I check the soup,” my mom said, getting up from the kitchen table.
I took my phone from my pocket and glanced at the screen. I expected it to be an unknown number or spam, but when I read the name, my eyebrows flew up.
It was Kaylee’s mom. I hesitated before answering, too curious to let it go to voicemail, and too worried about what this call might mean for Kay.
“Susan,” I said flatly. “What do you want?”
“You’ve always been such a rude boy,” she sniffed disdainfully. “You should be glad I’m calling you first and giving you a chance.”
“A chance for what?” I asked impatiently, not wanting to beat around the bush and spend any more time on this woman than was absolutely necessary.
“A chance to save that little band of yours,” she replied.
I frowned. Did Susan know about the fight? How could she? And even if she had found out, what could she possibly do to save the band?
“Get to the point,” I said, running a frustrated hand through my hair. I hated this woman, but she must have been calling for a reason. I couldn’t just hang up on her, as satisfying as it might have been.
“I know something your record company doesn’t,” she said haughtily. “And if you simply give me what I’m owed, it can stay that way.”
“So that’s it,” I scoffed, realizing what game she was now playing. “You’ve been hitting Kay up for money for years, and now you’re coming to me. Did she finally tell you to fuck off?” I asked archly.
“Let me just say this,” she hissed. “If you don’t play along, I’m going to tell everyone what I know. I’m going to tell your record company exactly what Kaylee did, exactly how much she screwed over your band.”
I couldn’t stop the anger from boiling over.
“What are you trying to blame Kay for now?” I said growled.
“Ha!” she said triumphantly “I knew she never told you. Well, of course she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t want anyone to know.”
I paused, wondering if I should believe her. If I should humor her. But now I was burning with curiosity.
“Why?” I asked warily. “What could Kay have done that could possibly hurt the band?”
The next words out of Susan’s mouth were so smug, so full of obvious delight, that she must have truly believed what she said next.
“What that girl did will cost you everything.”