Chapter 4
BURKE
“Let me know if you’d like to revisit my offer.” I mock out loud as I cook dinner. “No thanks, money bags. I’m doing just fine on my own.” Though I’m not.
Seeing Serena this afternoon was quite a surprise. Once again I was captured by her beauty, but the scowl she quickly wore had me forgetting about her gorgeous smile and thinking more about her ice queen attitude.
I tried to push it all away and recognize my own stand-offish approach and wish her genuine good luck, but she ruined it with her little dig at the end.
I don’t think she has any knowledge of my current financial mess I find myself in, but it felt like she could see through my soul and tell something is wrong.
I’ve mastered hiding the problems over the last year, and every time I think it’s going to get better, I only fall farther into the sinking pit.
The divorce took more of a toll on my financial status than I expected.
I thought Justine would be fair in regards to assets and alimony, but she proved to be much greedier than I ever expected.
The only way I was able to keep my orchard and not give her half was to basically sign over my checks to her.
She gets a hefty ten grand a month in alimony and child support.
When I was actually making enough to support that amount of money leaving my account each month, it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought.
But when you add in a loss of product due to losing a third of your crop to pecan weevils, which directly affected the amount of workers I was able to hire for the picking season which, in turn, affected how much we harvested, it totaled a significant drop in my income.
I’ve asked Justine to revisit our agreement, at least until I’m able to recoup and get back up to full production, but she refuses citing that it would prove catastrophic to the life she has become accustomed to.
The fact that she was unwilling to budge even an inch had me seeing her in a totally different light.
And it wasn’t flattering. It’s horrible to wish, but I have prayed that her boyfriend would just hurry up and marry her so I could at least drop the alimony payments and just pay child support.
She would still get a pretty decent amount as Daisy still has but one more year before she’s off to college, and she doesn’t have to pay any college expenses.
Between their college funds and scholarships, I’ve had to put in very little for Aster and Maggie.
But that doesn’t mean there are still plenty of expenses to be paid for.
Housing (Maggie refuses to live in a dorm so I’m left paying for an apartment), food, car, insurance, outings and all the extras that college aged kids require still does some damage to my wallet.
Maggie says she is unable to work as it will interfere with her studies which would result in bad grades and ultimately the inability to get hired with a good company after graduation.
So when you add up all of that, the fact that I refuse to decrease my worker’s pay, I’m left with peanuts at the end of each month.
I took out a second mortgage on the house just to buy Justine out of her equity because I really didn’t want to leave our home.
Primarily because it was my parents and sits on the same property as the orchard.
Plus, Justine never liked the house anyhow, so she was swift in agreeing to taking the money.
I’ve dwindled all of my resources for extra cash flow, and I am all tapped out.
I’ve been the one to take the pay cut but still live the same lifestyle as when I did at my peak.
I should actually say that the girls –all four– still live the same lifestyle. I’m the only one left suffering.
Today was just the fresh lemon juice in my gaping wound. Serena can just throw around the buy out of a company while I’m here contemplating if I should sell my home and live a true bachelor’s life in a one bedroom apartment.
“What are you mumbling about?” I startle when I hear my daughter’s voice, not realizing that I wasn’t home alone.
“Hey beautiful daughter of mine. When did you get here?” I set the spatula down and walk over to hug Aster.
“Just now. I called out but you didn’t answer. I figured you forgot about our dinner date.” She squeezes me tight around the waist and I rest my chin on top of her head.
She’s an adult but still so petite that I can pretend she’s my little girl and not a woman with a career and dreams of a future family.
“I would never forget about our dinners. They’re the highlight of my week. Come in and I’ll grab you some sweet tea.” I walk her to kitchen island, pulling back a stool for her to sit on.
“Dad. I can get my own drink. I’m very capable.”
“I know princess, but let your old dad feel like he isn’t completely useless.” She purses her lips and shakes her head at me.
“You didn’t answer my question. What were you mumbling about?” I open the refrigerator and stare at the pitcher of tea, debating on whether or not I should tell her the truth or leave out a few things.
The thing about lying by omission is that I have never lied to my girls.
That is one that Justine and I were in agreement on from very early on.
We never wanted to tell the girls fallacies and would always tell the truth in a manner that they could understand at whatever age they were.
The fact that I’ve been holding my financial dire straits from every one has been eating at me.
I feel like I’m going to worry myself into an ulcer, and right now I can’t afford a medical bill.
I reach in and grab the glass pitcher and take a deep breath. “I ran into Serena Leòn today and, just like her father, offered a sit down about buying Steele Nuts.”
I spin around and set the pitcher and a glass on the counter in front of Aster.
Pressing my hands flat to the marble I stare at the eyes that look just like mine.
Aster ended up being the only one of my daughters to inherit the blue color as Maggie and Daisy took after their mother.
Aster’s also the only one with blonde hair like me.
Well, like me when I was younger and had a color other than gray.
“And what did you say?”
“Nothing. She didn’t really give me a chance to reply. She threw it over her shoulder as she walked away and left before I could tell her to go fuck herself.”
“Dad!” Aster gasps but I can only shrug. “I hope you wouldn’t ever say that to her.”
“Well not in those exact words, but that would be the basics of it. I have no intention of selling my company. It belonged to my parents and grandparents, and I could never sign away my family's legacy. You girls may sell it off for pieces after I’m gone, but while I’m kicking and breathing I’ll fight to keep it alive. ”
Aster reaches across the cold surface and rests her hand on mine. “We would never sell it, Dad. Why would you think that way?”
“Because none of you want to work with me. At the end of the day, or rather my life, it will go to someone other than my kids so you three might as well get as much money from it as you can. Hopefully it’ll be worth more than it is now.”
She watches me and asks, “What are you talking about?”
I blow out a gush of air in a very dramatic fashion and explain. “I’m bleeding money, Aster. Last year’s weevil infestation really hurt us and I’m still trying to recover. I don’t know if we ever will.”
Pouring her a glass of sweet tea, I lay out all of the details from the loss to my current expenses and how I just can’t afford to lose anymore money or I’ll be knocking on her door and crashing on her couch.
She chews her lip the entire time she listens and doesn’t say one word until I’m finished spilling every last secret.
When I’m done, she gulps down a mouthful of cold tea and takes a deep breath.
“We’re not selling to Regal, but we are going to make some changes,” she says as if we sit in a boardroom.
“What do you mean we? I’m the only one in the operation right now. Daisy and Maggie are still in school and you’ve got a great job that I couldn’t possibly ask you to leave for little to no paycheck.”
“You’re right. You couldn’t ever ask me and that’s why I’m volunteering.”
“No, Aster. That’s not the answer.”
“Actually it is. I was going to discuss this with you when I had a clear decision on what I wanted to do, but hearing this has made my choice easy.”
“What choice would that be? And do I need a drink for this?” I ask, already heading back towards the fridge.
“You won’t need one, but may want to have one on hand to toast what I’m about to propose. Also, please stir that sauce before it burns.” She juts her chin in the direction of the stove and I abandon the beer for the saucepan.
When I’ve stirred the sauce and set the heat to simmer, I grab two beers and sit next to Aster to hear her out.
“I’m not happy, Dad.”
“What’s going on, princess? Is it Vince still? Do I need to grab my shotgun and pay him a visit?” She gulps and shakes her head.
“No. I’ve finally come to peace with that.
No need for you to end up in jail. I hate my job and I want to get out of the big city.
You said our dinners are the highlight of your week, but they are the saving grace to my week.
I can’t wait to get out of my office and drive up here.
” Her usual vibrant face seems dull and I can tell that whatever the problem be, it’s taking a toll on her.
“I truly thought I was making the right decision when I took a corporate job instead of staying home, but I miss the orchard. I miss hauling baskets of freshly picked pecans to the old trucks. I miss falling into bed at night feeling satisfied with a hard day’s work and accomplishment.
Right now, I’m a warm body filling a desk and contributing to the wealth of my boss. ”
I take her hand in mine and pat it. “I had no idea you were so unhappy. Why didn’t you come to me?”
“I was embarrassed. I pushed so hard to make my own way and be someone other than a pecan farmer. It was silly because I was never really ashamed of that. I’m proud of our family’s history.
In all honesty, it was Vince who told me I need to do and be more.
He didn’t see himself living on a farm in San Saba for the rest of his life.
So, I became the person that I thought he would want to marry.
Joke’s on me, huh?” She chuckles and grabs her beer, taking a long pull with tears building in her eyes.
“Don’t be embarrassed, sweetheart. I wanted you to go out and find your own way.
I wasn’t expecting any of you girls to want to work with me.
I was hoping, but never expected it.” She sets her bottle down and looks at me, blinking away the tears.
“Don’t let that be the reason why you quit your job. ”
“Honestly Dad. I wish I would have never taken that job. I have so many ideas to help the company, our company, and I want to be a part of it all. Not just watch from the outside wishing I could be there with you.”
“You are here, honey. Always.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her to me and she rests her head on my shoulder.
“So, here’s what I propose. I would like to come work for you–”
“With me,” I correct.
“With you. We need to capitalize on some of those festival winning recipes and sell them to local grocery stores. They’re already buying our nuts, let’s give them an entire line of products.
Desserts, dips, anything we can think of that will incorporate Steele Nuts.
We’ll start small. Just the two of us, testing recipes and perfecting them.
The Pecan Festival is in a month. We’ll enter our best recipe and then when it wins, we’ll pitch it to stores.
” Her eyes grow large and her face lights up when she talks.
I’ve never seen her so excited about work before and I see now that it’s because she doesn’t love what she does.
This is enough to convince me that we’re on the right track. “You know, you’re pretty damn smart and I think you’re on the right track.”
“Are you saying yes?” She presses her palms together with hope and glee.
“I’m saying hell yes.” Aster jumps off her seat and squeals, throwing her arms around my neck and squeezing.
“Thank you, Dad. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”
“You could never disappoint me, princess. You girls make me so proud and I thank my lucky stars for you.” She looks up at me and this time she doesn’t bother keeping the tears at bay.
“We thank the stars for you, Dad.” I kiss her forehead and soak up the moment. “Let me help you with dinner and we can start brainstorming.”
“Sounds good. Check on the sauce and I’ll grab the pasta.”
“Also, I have one more thing I’d like to propose.
” I stop and look over my shoulder at her as she stands at the stove.
“Since we’re going to be spending a lot of time working on a new concept, I was wondering if you’d mind if I moved back home.
My apartment is kind of far, and I don’t want to be doing things via FaceTime.
Plus, it’s expensive and since I’m out of a job, it would be really great to save some money. ”
“Aster…of course you can live here. This is your home. You don’t even have to ask. Say when and I’ll help you pack. And two, you have a job and will continue to receive a paycheck. There will be no working for free.”
“Nuh uh. No pay until we get our first deal. I have savings so I’ll be fine. And by saving on rent, I really won’t need much. I’ll help with groceries and of course cleaning, and anything else.” She ticks off one finger after the other and I wrap my hand around them.
“Let’s just take one step at a time. Step one; dinner. Step two; movie. We’ll figure out where to go from there. Okay?” She smiles with a nod and hugs me once more before tending to the sauce.
I spend the rest of the night on cloud nine. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. I’ll be even happier when we sell a new product and I can breathe again.