Chapter 4
Lane faced off against Celine, unsure of what to do next. He couldn’t read her—couldn’t tell what she wanted from him. She’d seemed relieved at his offer to stay, but if he knew her as well as he thought he did, the irritated energy pouring off her in waves said otherwise.
As though sensing the awkwardness, Parker threw his little arms in the air and let out an ear-piercing scream. The tortured sound twisted Lane’s insides into a sensation he didn’t recognize.
“I need a minute with him,” Celine said then hurried down the hallway before he could utter a word.
Indecision warred inside him. He itched to roam through the house and make sure every window was locked up tight. The last thing she needed was an unknown way of entry into the house during the night.
Not like he’d sleep much tonight anyway. Not only would a deep desire to protect the house keep him awake, but there was no way he’d close his eyes without reliving every detail of the last time he’d spent the night with Celine.
Suddenly exhausted, he sank onto the couch and hung his head in his hands. What a freaking disaster—this night, this situation, his entire life. His mind spun as uncertainty wove itself into the fabric of his being. Each decision laid out in front of him seemed more daunting than the next.
Starting with when to approach Celine about Parker’s paternity.
The sound of soft footsteps lifted his head. Unexpected emotion clogged his throat, and he was too damn tired to try and hide it. “Did Parker fall asleep?”
She nodded.
Awkward silence wove between. He squeezed the back of his neck, searching for the right words. “Help me understand, Celine.”
Crossing her arms over her middle, she kept her gaze locked on his. Slips of blond hair spilled from her ponytail, and bags hung heavy under her eyes. “You didn’t want this—didn’t want a child. Hell, you didn’t want me.”
The sadness in her voice moved him to his feet, and he crossed the room to stand in front of her. If he could go back in time and kick his own ass for the way he ended their time together, he would. He’d thought it’d be easier that way, but in truth it’d only made things so much worse between them.
“There’s never been a day that’s gone by since I’ve met you that I didn’t want you.”
She snorted out a humorless laugh. “Is that why you left me? Not once, but twice?”
He shoved a hand through his hair, wishing he had the words to describe the turmoil that ate away at his gut every time he was in this Godforsaken town. “I had to leave. Had to stay away from this place. Stopping into Hillmore last year was a mistake. It never should have happened.”
Flinching, she reared back her head as if he’d slapped her. “Which is why I didn’t tell you about Parker.”
His heart had known his child the moment he’d laid eyes on him, but hearing the truth from Celine unlocked a torrent of love and fear and everything in between. He rubbed the heel of his hand over his chest, needing to relieve some of the pressure. “So he’s mine?”
She worked her mouth back and forth and nodded.
“Shit,” he mumbled, his knees suddenly weak. He stumbled toward the couch, dropping back down to the cushion he’d just vacated.
“Don’t worry,” she said, her voice shaky. “I don’t expect anything. Parker and I are just fine. I appreciate what you did tonight, I really do, but I think it’s best if I take him to my mom’s for the night. I’ll figure out the rest tomorrow.”
“Wait, what?” He shot back up to his feet. “No, I told you I’d stay then we can figure out what’s best in the morning.”
Rolling her eyes, she threw her hands up in air. “So now you’re going to swoop in and be the hero? I don’t think so.”
“I’m not swooping, and we both know if you’d have told me about Parker before I would have come back right away. I wouldn’t have ignored my responsibilities.”
“Parker isn’t a responsibility,” she snapped, her voice harsher than a whip.
“He’s a child. A beautiful, perfect baby who needs people around who love him.
Who want to care for him. Not someone who resents his presence and sticks around out of obligation.
You made it perfectly clear being a father was never part of your plan.
So go ahead and do whatever it is that brought you back here then leave like you always do.
I’m sure something so much more exciting is waiting on the rodeo circuit. ”
Now it was his time to react as if he’d been slapped. Words tumbled in his brain but not fast enough to form a coherent thought.
“Wait a second,” he said, scrambling to keep the conversation going. “You can’t expect me to find out I have a kid and not give me a second to wrap my head around it. Just give me a damn minute. Please.”
She faced him and the tears shimmering in her eyes slashed his heart like a whip. “Fine. You’re right. You deserve to have some time to digest everything. But I meant what I said. We don’t need anything from you.” Brushing past him, she ducked into the kitchen.
The sounds of a cabinet opening and water running reached his ears as he braced his palm against the hallway wall.
He blew out a long breath. He might want something stronger than water to get him through the night, but alcohol was the last thing he needed while wrapping his mind around his new reality.
Because no matter what she said, he wouldn’t desert his child. Wouldn’t be some deadbeat dad his son couldn’t count on like he’d unknowingly been since Parker’s birth.
With his nerves a little steadier, he walked into the kitchen cleared his throat. “Do you mind if I get a drink?”
She flicked her hand toward a cabinet near the sink. “Help yourself.”
Grabbing a cup, he filled it with cool water then downed half the glass and leaned against the counter. His heart beat faster than a stampede of thundering stallions. He had to get a grip on his emotions—his thoughts—if there would be any positive conversation with Celine.
“I want to be around for Parker. Being a dad might not have been part of my plan, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s my kid. My blood. You’re his mother and you want what’s best, but I can’t just forget he exists. Forget I have a child who needs me.”
“He has everything he needs. We both do. You don’t have to stick around because of us. Go live your life the way you wanted. That’s what you’ve always done anyways.”
He hated the harshness of her tone but couldn’t blame her for her anger. The truth of his situation smacked him upside the head. When he’d stepped into the house of horrors this morning, he hadn’t known what the future held. He’d planned to sell the land, look for a job, and find a new dream.
A new purpose.
Now his purpose lay in a crib in the room down the hall.
He might have missed the beginning of his child’s life, but he’d be around from here on out.
Maybe Celine should have told him she was pregnant, but he understood why she hadn’t.
He had a lot to make up for, and there was no way he could do that in one night.
Especially on the heels of Celine being attacked in her own home.
“We both know I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in the past. I can’t erase ’em but I can promise to do better.
Try harder. I’m not leaving town, Celine.
Not now. Not ever. I’m here for the long haul.
I don’t know what that will look like, and we don’t have to figure it all out right now.
All I ask is that you’ll leave the door cracked for me to eventually come in—even just a little bit. ”
She bit her thumbnail, uncertainty dancing in her eyes. “Okay.”
That one word was enough to release the tension sitting on his chest. “Thank you.”
She dipped her chin. “Can we discuss this more tomorrow? I really don’t have it in me to dive any deeper right now. Tonight’s been…a lot.”
“Sure. I’ll crash on the couch.”
Her tongue darted out to wet her lips before she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth—a habit she’d had since their childhood that told him as much as she didn’t want him sticking around, she was grateful. But unsure of how to tell him.
“Do you have an extra blanket and pillow? I don’t need much.”
“Of course.” She ducked out of the room and down the hallway.
He sagged lower against the counter and drained the rest of his water. The stinging in his side continued, confusion still muddled his mind, but at least he saw a glimmer of hope for the days ahead.
Sleep eluded Celine. With Parker asleep beside her and her brain filtering through the events of the night, her body refused to give in to the bone-deep exhaustion clawing at her. She could only handle one crisis at a time, and right now, she wasn’t sure which was more important.
Figuring out who’d broken into her home or what to do about Lane.
Both terrified her, but as much as Lane hurt her, he wasn’t a threat on her life.
Shuddering, she stood and found her robe on the bench at the end of her bed. Laying here wouldn’t do her a lick of good. The sun would be up soon. Might as well start her day and get some chores done before having to leave for work for the lunch shift.
A quick glance at Parker showed he was sound asleep. She made sure the baby monitor was turned on then shut the door behind her before heading for the kitchen. The smell of coffee greeted her before she spied Lane standing in front of the sink, his back to her as he stared out the window.
She hesitated, hating the way her mouth watered at the sight of him. Muscles rippled across his shirtless shoulders. Her fingers itched to trail along the ridges, to feel the hard wall of him that had once been as familiar to her as her own body.
But she couldn’t get caught up in the ways she used to yearn for him—even if her stupid body reacted to him like she was still a teenager.
As if sensing her, he spun around. His side bumped against the counter, and he hissed out a long breath.