28. Hotaru
Arlo and Hailey are plastered to either side of me. We’re cum soaked and limp on my bed. No one has made an effort to leave, not even to clean us up. Honestly, I don’t want them to. I’d rather stay here in this dirty bubble in my bed for…well, forever.
Here, nothing else matters.
Hailey trails the tiniest kisses over my chest while Arlo nuzzles his face into my nape. One of his arms is wrapped around my shoulders and Hailey’s too, while his free hand skates along my hip, down my thigh, and up again on glorious repeat.
“Doesn’t seem fair.” I break the silence, thought overriding self-preservation.
“What’s that?” Arlo asks, nipping my earlobe.
My leg is nestled between Arlo’s, and my ankle is wrapped around his, locking him close. I hold Hailey to me with one hand looped over her shoulder and down her still clothed back, while my other lays heavily over her hip, caressing her ass with my fingers.
“That sunshine is dressed, and we aren’t,” I admit.
“It does seem a shame to keep such perfect tits covered.” Arlo’s hand leaves my thigh, slides up the buttons on Hailey’s blouse, then detours. His thick fingers pinch her nipple, coaxing a whimper from her and me too.
She smacks his hand away. “He’s not ready.” Her electric eyes swing from Arlo to me.
“Oh, I’m ready.” I shove my hips forward, stabbing her in the belly with my half-hard dick. “Wrap that tight pussy around me and I’ll come so fast I’ll embarrass myself.”
Her tiny hand meets my nipple in a slap.
“Ouch.” I snag my bottom lip in my teeth. “I like it. Hit me again, mommy.”
“You’re vile.” She laughs.
“You like it.” I pinch her nipple like Arlo did.
“More than.” She moans, and then smacks my hand away too. “But that’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
I’m not ready?
I gently caress her side where Hard worked fresh ink into her skin, marking her forever. I’m damn curious to know what it is, but I’m also scared.
What if it’s meaningful? What if it’s not?
“Did you ask him?” Hailey whispers over my shoulder.
Arlo exhales into my shoulder blades. The hot air sends shivers down my spine. “We were kind of busy.”
“Ask me what?” Nope, the room didn’t just get ten degrees colder. It’s just me and my fucked-up brain. Right?
“Can we move in?” Arlo blurts.
A part of me is ten degrees colder, while the other half is suddenly ten degrees hotter. A deadly combination. Excitement and dread war inside me.
I roll onto my back to look at Arlo.
His lips are swollen, and there’s still a hint of my cum on his chin. I wipe it off with my thumb, but he snags it and sucks it clean, waking my dick up fully.
“You and Hailey move in here?” I retrieve my thumb from his mouth in an effort to think somewhat clearly.
“Yes.” Arlo smiles.
“With me?” I ask, not quite understanding what’s going on.
“We wouldn’t kick you out, silly.” Hailey kisses my chest again.
My heart swells so big I’m surprised we all still fit in the bed and haven’t been shoved off by it.
Images of them here with me, sharing a life fills me to the point of bursting. Early mornings with the three of us jockeying for counter space to get ready for the day. Gourmet dinners punctuated with great wine and conversations that wake my soul. Late nights spent with our bodies twined in the most decadent combinations.
“It would only be for a few weeks,” Arlo adds.
And just like that, his sharp edges, the ones that are fewer but not zero, stab my heart. It pops like an overinflated balloon, shooting parts of me every which way about the room.
“I’m having part of the house redone.” He shoves the knife harder, hitting my spine.
“You just had the whole thing redone,” I snap like the wounded animal I am.
“I overlooked a critical component.” His gaze slides to Hailey, then jerks back to me. “It’s integral and can’t be put off any longer.”
Oh, my fucking fuck.
My skin goes clammy all over.
I can see the room now. The walls are not pink or blue because screw gender norms. It’ll be a happy wallpaper print with trees and flowers, smiling animals, and rainbows. A crib in the center with that dangly thing above. Chunky cardboard books fill a shelf built into the wall so they won’t crush the little kid.
They’re going to have a baby.
Suddenly, I’m being crushed. Not by a bookshelf but by the void. The things I want most are so close, yet so far away.
“What about Natalia’s place?” I shove from the bed, not able to look at either of them. I don’t wait for an answer before barreling into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.
I grip the edge of the counter and sink my finger against it so hard, I wonder if I can rip it from the wall. One swift jerk would probably do it. My muscles bulge, and the veins in my arms and chest pop.
Then the door squeaks open.
Hailey stands in the doorway. I just glance at her in the big white blouse and imagine her belly swollen and stretching the shirt. It’s too much. I let my head hang.
“What just happened?” She pushes into the room, coming too close for anyone’s good.
“Had to pee.” I choke.
“You’re a terrible liar.” She slides her bare ass onto the counter. Her legs dangle off. “I’m a terrible liar too.” She shrugs. “I guess it’s a good thing.”
“You guys can have the guest room.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from sobbing. “Whatever you need.”
“What if we need you?” Hailey asks.
The snort that comes out of me is uncouth at best.
“Hey.” She soothes. “Look at me, please.”
I pin her with an ugly glare. I hate myself for it. “Are you pregnant?”
Her mouth falls open.
My heart stops.
The green of her eyes flits around the room, calculating. What she’s working out, I don’t know, and it makes my stomach lurch. Then her gaze is on me. Her mouth snaps closed. “He’s not building a nursery, Hota. I’m not pregnant. I have an IUD. Have had, since they came on the market, so I don’t have a period.”
She lays a hand on my shoulder gently like I might spook.
“I suppose I could have it removed one day when the time is right.” Her thumb caresses me. “Since blood doesn’t scare me anymore. Thanks to you.”
Arlo shoves into the room. Pants hanging low on his waist. “Dobson bought Nat’s place, and Hailey’s entire condo has become a large closet for all of Nat’s clothes until she can sell them or move them to France. Do you not want us to stay with you?”
He stops right next to me, naked me, and Hailey, like we do this sort of half-clothed hanging out thing all the time.
“It’s not that,” I whisper.
It could never be that.
“What’s wrong?” Arlo puts his hand on my nape and pulls me upright and to him.
I wrap my arms around him and fucking sob.
Once they’re here, I’ll never want them to leave.
Once they leave, what will be left of me?