Chapter 36
COLE
I watch her senses absorb every detail, but not in the same way she surveys a crowd. Her eyes are closed, and her face is raised toward the sun, starting to provide a little warmth.
She said some things are too loud to ever quiet, and I believe her. I’ve witnessed it every time I wake her from a nightmare. Each time her smile vanishes, tucked away behind her shield, safe from uncertainty.
“It’s nice to drown out all the noise with this, at least for a little while.” It’s my wish for her. Maybe I can’t mute it, but I want to turn it all down.
“Yeah, it is,” her voice is soft, almost sad. “It’s like nothing bad knows this place exists.”
“Maybe we should stay,” I joke, but I think I could stay here with her forever.
I see a hint of a smile, but it’s forced. “Yeah, maybe.” She exhales as she stands, her head falling toward the ground. “But the world would miss the superstar quarterback who knows how to kick football ass.”
She’s teasing me, but it feels so ridiculously trivial when I’ve watched her lift a naked boy into the back of an SUV.
The coffee sloshes in my stomach.
I asked Ryder to believe in me. I want her to, but I need her to open the door.
I pull in a deep breath and push, hoping I don’t regret it. “I imagine there are kids waiting for you to rescue them.”
Her body stills, and even the fog from her breath ceases.
Shit.
I let it hang there, cursing myself for ruining this. I want her to let me in, but not by force.
She stares out at the beauty before us. After the longest moment, her quiet voice breaks the peace.
“Too many kids think no one will ever come for them.”
I remain still, waiting to see if she’ll give me more and weighing my next move. I go for it, knowing she’s worth every risk.
“Is that what happened to your shoulder?” It’s a question I’ve held onto since the night she moved in.
She kicks at the snow with her boot, uncovering a rock, and bends to pick it up.
She rolls it between her fingers. “One night, we got a call. Not from our usual contacts at the hotels or marinas, but a truck stop employee reporting something suspicious. I headed to check it out. Tracker wasn’t far behind me, but time is everything.
I watched and waited, but when the driver stepped away from the truck, I took the opening. ”
She inhales and rolls her neck. “Two little girls, no more than seven or eight, half-clothed and barefoot. I untied them, helped them out, and motioned for them to run just as the transporter returned. He wasn’t real happy about me stealing his goods and got friendly with a knife.”
She glances at me, and then her gaze returns to the water. “He offered a few kind words when I snapped his leg in two.”
I try to imagine her recovering two little girls from a truck in a dark parking lot.
How many times has she done this?
Just like the hotel, she went after them alone.
“Do you. . .go in alone all the time?” I ask, only one of the thousands of questions on the tip of my tongue.
She peeks up at me out of the corner of her eye. “Not always, but sometimes there isn’t another choice.”
Just like with Matt.
She blows out a breath, fisting the rock. “He got me good, and I was bleeding pretty bad. I couldn’t make it back to my truck, and Tracker had to carry me out. I served time on desk duty. That’s how you got so lucky to be assigned to me.”
“I’m damn lucky.” It comes out forceful, and she turns toward me, her eyes locking on mine.
This woman walks into the most horrific, dangerous situations to save people. Not just people, she saves kids from circumstances I can’t even begin to fathom.
“I don’t know how you do this,” I whisper, stepping closer to her, wanting to eliminate the space.
She is extraordinary and the kind of brave that you can’t put a label on.
Her gaze drops to the ground. “There isn’t another choice.
These kids, most of them are lost and forgotten.
Preyed upon by those who’ll buy and sell them.
” She shakes her head. “They become nothing more than a commodity.” Her head falls to the side.
“They’re hopeless, thinking that is all they will ever be. I won’t let that be true.”
Was that you? Lost and forgotten.
Fire crawls up my throat, and my eyes burn. I blink it away, closing the few inches between us.
I pull her face up, forcing her gaze to mine. Three words on the tip of my tongue that I know she’s not ready to hear.
“You are. . . ” I have to look away for a second, gathering myself and my words. “You are a gift the world doesn’t even know it has. Ryder, you fight what the rest of us can’t stand to see. I can’t. . . ”
That burn crawls up my throat again, and I let my forehead fall to hers, needing her to know everything I’m feeling.
“I never knew someone like you existed. You’re so damn beautiful, not just on the outside. Ryder, who you are, beauty doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
Her hands fist my coat like she’s holding on, hoping I won’t disappear.
I brush my lips over her cheek. She closes her eyes, pushing up on her toes and inching closer.
Her lips press to mine hesitantly. Once. Twice. I pull her to me, angling her head and taking her mouth, savoring her trust.
Her tongue glides against mine, and I pull her closer, wanting more, but I won’t rush this or her.
Her frozen fingers dig into the back of my neck, tugging me to her. Ryder is careful and timid, but determined, as if she’s afraid our time is running out.
I slide my hands around her back, holding her. I kiss her over and over again, keeping her safe and wanting to believe this can last.
She pulls away, breathless, her fingers running over my jaw. She peeks up at me, her bottom lip tucking between her teeth.
I grin, wanting to hoist her right back to me and dive in again, but I refrain. Instead, I take her hand, guiding her in front of me and wrapping my arms around her.
I rest my chin on the top of her head, watching the light breeze ruffle the water. I take in the feel of her relaxing into me, remembering how it felt to wake up with her powerful body next to mine.
I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go back to someone wanting to ruin me or Ryder walking into danger where I can’t follow.
I don’t want whatever this is to end—Ryder beginning to trust me.
Her soft words break through my worried thoughts. “How long can we stay?”
Not long enough.
“A little while. I told the kids we’d have a card game marathon since it’s our last day.”
She turns, sliding her arms around me and resting her head against my chest. “Thank you for bringing me here. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
It’s a punch straight to my throat. I want to tell her this is just the beginning, but I hold it back.
I inhale and push it out, breathing her in and pressing my lips to her temple.
I squeeze her a little tighter. “How about some breakfast?”
She peers up at me. “You have food?”
I shrug. “I grabbed graham crackers, marshmallows, and some of the kids’ Halloween candy.”
She frowns.
“How about we build a fire and see who can make the best s’more?”
Her eyebrows arch upward. “Matthews, are you saying you’re going to eat nothing but a sugar sandwich for breakfast? I think this fresh mountain air has gone straight to your head.”
I grab her hand, linking my fingers with hers, and lead her toward the fire pit. “Jones, has anyone ever told you rules are meant to be broken?”