Chapter Forty-Seven – Verity
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
VERITY
T he apartment is pitch black.
I’m curled up on the sofa, knees to chest, and gnawing on the skin around my thumbnail. I really should stop, but the anxious energy within me is bursting for release.
My mind hasn’t stopped whirling, but I’m trying to keep some of my sanity. I need a clear head for when he—
The telltale beeps of Cullen pressing the code to his apartment set me on alert. I think I stop breathing for a few seconds as I whip my head to the door and watch for him to enter.
“Verity?”
He comes bursting inside, and my chest squeezes at his state of dishevelment that still somehow looks sexy.
His hair has clearly been messed up from running his hands through it, and the top button of his shirt is undone, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
The desperation of my name passing through his lips matches the worry in his gaze, which softens slightly when he spots me on the couch.
“Oh, thank God, you’re here.” He tosses his expensive leather bag to the floor, not even bothering to take off his shoes as he rushes over and cradles me in his arms.
It’s hard not to waver as his scent fills my senses. My body is trained to relax under his touch, the rigidity in my muscles softening.
He lets me go, rocking back on his heels and cupping my cheeks. He searches my face for something, his brows frowning to create thick wrinkles.
“Verity, I’m so sorry.”
My heart drops a fraction.
Please tell me he is apologizing for her lies and not because he is married.
Please.
“I don’t know what Celine said to you, but I swear I can explain.”
I open my mouth to speak, but instead draw in a deep, shaky breath. I swallow thickly, trying to right myself.
“Okay.” My voice is small and hesitant.
It feels like I am walking the perimeter of a rooftop, placing one foot in front of the other as I teeter on the precipice. The risk of falling to my death is close, but safety isn’t far either. My fate lies in how this conversation plays out.
“I want you to know that she can’t fire you. Well, she can, but you would have concrete grounds to file for wrongful termination. My lawyer assured me that there’s no chance you would lose the case.”
I wince slightly.
Celine’s threat still echoes in my mind, but with everything going on, I’ve become slightly numb to the whole situation. It doesn’t seem real. But there is no denying the nausea that spins in my stomach at her shifty ultimatum.
She threatened to terminate my employment if I didn’t stop seeing Cullen, but I don’t see any situation where I would win.
Even if I did break up with him and she let me keep my job, I doubt things would progress as normal.
She holds grudges. She would probably make my life hell.
I’d be relegated to shitty projects, or my career would stagnate with no promotions.
And everyone would still find out. We are a tiny company, and I would always be the girl who slept with her boss’ ex.
It is over.
I can taste the fear on my tongue, and my heart starts to speed up as my brain pounds with racing thoughts.
Oh God.
I really fucked up.
“Verity?”
I come back to Cullen’s voice, catching my blank gaze on the wall behind him and blinking everything into focus.
“Is it true?”
Hope is the one thing keeping me together.
I can get through this if I have Cullen by my side. I can sort this out. It will be rough, and I’ll have to dip into my meager savings to pay rent while I find a new job, but I can do it.
“Which part?”
“Your marriage.” There’s a beat of silence. “It’s over, right?”
“Yes.” His grip strengthens on my jaw, finality in his voice to match. “Our marriage is over. It’s been over for a decade. We are not together. We do not love each other. There is nothing between me and Celine. You are the only person in my heart, I swear to you.”
I asked the wrong question.
“Okay, but...”
For some reason, I can’t say it. The words I need to speak most won’t form. They get lodged in my throat and thicken on my tongue.
“But?”
God. I hear the emotion in his voice, hear the affection that shines through. It makes everything harder.
“But are you divorced?”
The D-word is like an anvil dropping on the ground between us. He recoils slightly, his hands flinching on my skin.
“Cullen, please,” I beg. “Please tell me you’re divorced.”
I see the moment pain slashes through his hazel eyes. I can feel the guilt pouring from his skin and smell the panic in the air.
“Not technically.”
My heart plummets to the ground.
“What do you mean?” I place my hands on his chest, pushing him back to create some distance and forcing his hands off my face. “What do you mean?!”
“We’re separated, legally separated. I have the agreement. But—” he falls back on his ass, resting on one arm while the other hand threads through his hair “—but she never signed the divorce papers.”
“Ohmigod. Oh my God.”
“Verity, listen. Please. For all intents and purposes, Celine and I are not married.”
“Not according to the law and not according to Celine.”
“Celine is well aware that even though she refuses to sign the papers, we are not together.”
“Not being together and not being married aren’t the same thing.” I push up from the couch, pacing the floor. “I can’t believe this. You led me on. You lied to me.”
“No, I didn’t—”
“Don’t you dare try to spew another lie. You told me you were divorced.”
“I didn’t say I was divorced.”
“What?”
“I told you we were separated, that she was my ex, but I never said I was divorced.”
Anger begins to boil under my skin at his lame attempt at a technicality.
“Are you serious right now?”
“I’m not saying it as an excuse, Verity. I just—I don’t want you to think I lied.”
“Lying by omission isn’t any better. You never corrected me when I referred to you as divorced. You chose not to tell me that you were still legally married. You had every opportunity to.” I cross over and stand before him. “You should’ve told me that night at the Kelton.”
“I know.”
My heart shatters with those words, and it opens the floodgates. Tears bubble up, the water beading on my bottom lashes before slowly trailing down my cheeks.
“What is wrong with you? Why would you make me fall for you when you knew you were unavailable? Why would you ask me to risk everything without letting me know the truth? Why would you do that to me? I thought you cared.”
“I do.” He scrambles to his feet. “I care about you so fucking much, Verity, that I’m falling in love with you.”
“Don’t say that,” I cry. “Don’t you dare say that.”
Because I am already in love with him, and now, I don’t know what to do.
“It’s the truth.” He holds my shoulders. “Yes, according to the law, Celine and I are still married, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’ve been—”
“Doesn’t mean anything?” I step out of his hold, cutting him off. “It means everything, Cullen.”
“Please, Verity. Let me explain.”
“No. No, I can’t.” I shake my head. “I can’t do this. I can’t be with you. I need space. I need to think.”
I back up, grabbing my tote bag and heading for his door.
“Verity, don’t go. I’m begging you, please. We can work this out.”
He holds onto my wrist, but his grip is light.
“I’m begging you . Don’t text me. Don’t call me. Don’t anything. I need space. So, please, let me go. Let me go before I hate you just as much as she does.”
It’s hard to watch the way my words slice his skin like a sharpened blade, blood pouring from the wounds I’ve inflicted.
But the pain he is experiencing is a mirror of my own.
It is as though my entire soul is shattering, and with each word we speak, we step on the broken pieces, crushing them into dust. I need to get out of here before there is nothing left of me, before I become a hollow shell with a heart that can never be repaired.
I pull out of his hold and grab my loafers, slipping them on. My hand reaches for the metal door handle, the cold biting into my skin. I crack open the door, and he doesn’t try to reach for me again, but I hear a sickening thump behind me.
I’m still weak enough that I look over my shoulder, and the sight behind me causes more tears to flow down my cheeks.
Cullen has fallen to his knees, his head dropped to his chest.
“I’m so sorry, Verity. I’m sorry.”
My soul cries out to the broken man who holds half my heart, and I know that walking through this door means that I might never get it back.
“Goodbye, Cullen.”
I cross over the threshold, the door falling shut behind me. The click of the automatic lock setting back in place punches through my stomach, the finality of my actions rocking me to my core.
I take one step.
And then another.
And another.
Until I make it to the elevator and down to the lobby, my entire body numb and functioning solely on autopilot as I head outside and hail the nearest taxi.
It’s only when I slide onto the leather seat that I realize exactly what just happened, and I break down into full-blown sobs.