6. Rutger
Chapter 6
Rutger
I ’m running out of time.
I stand in my cabin, staring at the lease on my table, willing myself to be able to read it. Not just the names. The whole thing.
Some “development company” has been knocking. They say they’re going to cut down all the trees and build tall buildings. Things I swore to my grandparents that I would never let anybody do. But I don’t know how to stop them. Apparently, I can either sell them my land and have enough money to live comfortably the rest of my life, or they can just take it through the courts somehow.
Taxes, they say. Always the damn taxes.
I went with my grandfather many times to the building in town with the big columns and the musty smell.
He always handed the pinched-faced lady behind the counter a thick stack of money. She would count it and stamp something in a binder, then tell him she’d see him next year at tax time.
Since he’s been gone, I’ve never gone to town to give that lady money, and these people that are coming around say that’s why they can take my land.
Unpaid taxes.
I have no idea if any of that’s true. But there’s another contract next to Lindsay’s, and if I sign that one, I get a lot of money but lose everything I love.
Would signing the lease with the college stop them? Or would it just give my land to the college?
My head pounds like rocks knocking around inside.
“Fuck,” I snarl.
My cabin’s normally a safe haven. I’ve got a few things around that belonged to my grandparents. The blanket thrown over the chair that Grandma knitted. The deer head mounted on the wall that Grandpa shot. I’ve got some food in the fridge that I made with Grandma’s recipes.
The blanket, the deer, and this land are what I’ve got left of them. How could I live anywhere but here? I don’t belong out in the world. I need the trees and the mountain. I hate the concrete and the people in town. At least the artists here accept me. They don’t care about how I’m different.
I have to be sure about these contracts and paper. I have to admit to someone I can’t read them.
I stomp toward my room, fall to my knees and jerk the wooden chest out from underneath. I huff to my feet, kicking at the latch angrily, the top splintering and flinging itself open to keep from being completely destroyed by another kick.
Stacks of green and cream-colored bills tied with pieces of multicolored yarn stare back at me.
I haven’t counted it in a long time, because it takes so long to write it all down, then add up all the numbers. There’s a piece of paper on the top of the money with the amount from the last time I counted it all.
It’s a big number. I added it all up three times. Even asked Lindsay to add my list of numbers on her big desk calculator to double-check.
$1,466,925.
She asked what I was adding up, and I told her it was a lifetime of my steps up and down the mountain. She was impressed, unsure that it was possible, but I grumbled something and took the paper back, put it in the box and never imagined I’d care about how much one million four hundred sixty-six thousand nine hundred and twenty-five dollars really is.
Or what I could do with it to make a life that someone like Tess deserves.
More than enough to buy a lifetime of kitten food. With that thought, I grab a stack and stuff it into the chest pocket on the front of my overalls. Now I can do more to help Tess.
It’s still not enough.
My thoughts drift from the taxes and leases to my woman.
A woman like Tess deserves so much more than a chest of cash. If I’m going to be keeping her—and I will be keeping her—then she needs things I’m not good enough to give. She deserves a king. Someone with an empire. Not some man with a piece of land who can’t read well enough to keep it.
But even though I know I’m not good enough, it doesn’t change anything.
My balls feel like boulders in my jeans. I’m full for her. I want to pour that inside Tess, breed her, make her mine.
I want to watch her belly and breasts grow with my child.
I should figure out the lease. I should swallow my pride, trust Lindsay and tell her to read it to me. To help me know what to do about ‘taxes’. I think she would be honest.
Instead, I’m obsessing again.
When I heard Tess say she would do a fully nude class my chest hurt. I felt like fire was swirling around my ankles, rising up, up, up until it burned me to the ground.
It’s bad enough that men look at her at all, period. It’s worse that they see her with nothing but a blanket covering her most delicious parts. The parts only for me. The idea that she’ll bare it all to God and artists soon—I can barely see through the red haze that takes over my vision.
I’m like a stag in rutting season.
Without even thinking about it, I’m storming across the retreat.
It’s nighttime and everyone’s winding down in their cabins. Some are picnicking for dinner by the lake. It’s quiet in a nice way. Sometimes I catch a few words of soft conversation, some gentle laughter, but right now all I see is red.
All I feel is anger.
I’m at her door, heaving out breaths like a huffing grizzly.
Tess answers the door before I knock. I’m bathed in the scent of nail polish, and realizing that she was just bent over doing her toes gets me even harder. My gaze wanders over her. I take my time to memorize the way she looks with her hair down, to notice she’s using the new nail polish we bought, to admire the halo of lamplight around her crown.
Fear jabs at my insides.
She’s holding that…thing. It’s gray and fuzzy. It looks at me with huge eyes. Claws stick out of its fluffy paws, sending a shudder through me. I glare at them digging into Tess’s hand, but she’s not reacting at all.
I take an instinctive step back. “Hello,” I manage, jaw clenched, eyeing the kitten.
“Hello back.” She drags her bottom lip through her teeth and I watch, mesmerized. She might as well be dragging her teeth along my skin. Every inch of it lights up like a thousand fireflies. My heart beats like hummingbird wings. I’m getting hot. Hot like the potbelly stove when I feed it too much oak. “Wanna come in?”
She steps aside, tipping her head in welcome, and I wedge myself through the door, keeping my back to the wall, eyes on the kitten as I squeeze past and into the tiny cabin.
I’ve already got her space here memorized. I’ve seen it enough through the window. I know it’s wrong. Watching her without her knowing. But I pray for foregivness while I’m doing it, hoping that’s enough, then knowing it isn’t when I lose the battle and fist myself, pumping, pumping up and down, desperate for relief. Being surrounded by her smells now makes blood speed through my body, rushing to make my cock swell thicker, thicker, until the skin feels ready to split.
“How is…the cat?” I garble awkwardly.
“Frida?” Tess lifts the kitten to show her off as I take a step back, tripping over my feet, nearly taking the cabin wall down when I fall against it. “She’s doing a lot better with the new food. She’s playing a lot more. You have no idea how much you’ve helped us. It’s a huge weight off my shoulders.”
“I like helping you.” I right myself, standing but gripping my temples, unsure what to do or say. “She seems important to you.”
“She’s my first.” Tess snuggles the kitten to her cheek.
For a minute, I’m not thinking about how that little kitten could launch itself at my face and tear out my eyes. I’m imagining that Tess is holding a baby. Our baby. Something that we made together, all round and sweet. She’s gonna be a good mom.
And I’m gonna put the babies in her. Lots of them. The thought surges straight to my cock.
“She’s also the reason I got kicked out of my mom’s house.” Tess lets the kitten out of her hands. Frida bounces across the bed, chasing something I can’t see. “I spent years working odd jobs to help my mom pay the bills, but she couldn’t handle it when I asked for one thing in return. Just one thing.”
“You’ve been working for years?” My brow lowers over my eyes in disapproval.
Nobody should have made my girl work. I wouldn’t let her. If I could, I’d let her relax and do whatever she wanted, waiting for me to come home from the forest and stuff her full of dick. I’ll breed her with a dozen tiny versions of us, just to see her round with each one. Just to see her tits swollen with milk.
I want to have a house full. And I’ll learn to change diapers and be gentle and read bedtime stores, so my queen can lie back and enjoy her life.
And make more babies for me.
“You’re young to have a lot of work experience.”
“Eighteen.” She mouths it quietly, like it’s a tempting secret.
She’s barely more than a child, but even I know the law says she’s a grown up. Not that the law means much to me living up here, except when it comes to these papers and taxes and leases.
I hate the law.
I was already honing barn beams and working the timber saw at the mill when she was born. “How’ve you worked so long?”
“Well, my mom always said I was never going to amount to anything, so there was no point in school. I had to legally go until I was sixteen, then she told me it was time to go to work. She said I’m not smart enough to be a big shot lawyer, or good enough with my hands for medicine, or like—yeah, I dropped out of school and just went to work.” She shrugs with a sad acceptance in her eyes and I want to go meet her mother and introduce her to the son-in-law that’s going to be sure she never hurts his wife again.
I press my hand against her chest, feeling her heartbeat, and her eyes snap up.
“You don’t have to work anymore,” I blurt out.
“No?” She smiles a little, and the dimple on her cheek has a chokehold on my heart.
“You don’t have to model nude. Never. I won’t allow it.”
“Rutger…”
“They can’t look at you naked.” An invisible noose tightens around my windpipe.
“I already told Lindsay I’d do a class tomorrow,” she says. There’s a little teasing to her voice. Like she knows this is going to get me fired up, and she wants it.
And damn it, she’s right. My hands are already clenching into fists at the thought of my wife showing any other motherfucker her fucking gorgeous body.
“You’re mine.” I fold my arms across my chest. I know I’m pouting. I just don’t know how to make her understand. “You will obey me. Let me breed you and keep you and carry you everywhere and make sure you never have to work another day in your life.”
She blinks up at me, her mouth opening and closing without a word. She raises one finger, and starts to say something, then thinks better of it.
“Mine,” I repeat.
“You know that whole ‘ Obey me. Let me breed you. You never have to work again,’ thing is kind of… not how human beings operate anymore, right? You’ve heard of feminism?”
“No.”
She laughs, but I see the shudder pass through her body. I know fear when I smell it.
Good. Right now, she should be scared. Because if I have to lock her away to stop her taking her clothes off in front of strangers, I will.
“You’re... such a funny mix of contrasts. Sometimes the way you watch over me makes me feel like you’re my daddy. But sometimes I talk to you, and you’re like a little kid.”
Little?
I step toward her, chin tipping down, shoulders lifting.
My energy changes to something sizzling and offended. Tess’s energy changes too, responding to mine like a rabbit who just sensed a circling hawk.
She steps backward, and I crowd her space.
“Little?” I ask, this time out loud. My voice doesn’t even sound like my own anymore.
I shove her against the wall and drive my hip between her thighs, hiking her up. She gasps and grabs my shoulders. She doesn’t need to. I won’t let her fall.
“There’s nothing little about me,” I say, curving my hand around her jaw to tip her head back. “I’m probably old enough to be your daddy. But what I want to do to you isn’t something a daddy should do to his little girl.”
Breathily, she asks, “What do you want to do to me?”
“I want to fill you up,” I say, tightening my hand around her throat. “Hold you down and pump you full of every drop. Put my baby inside you. It seems right, putting myself all inside you. You’ve gotten inside me. You’re the only thing I want, Tess. You’re mine. And that’s why I won’t allow you to get naked in front of other people.”
“I do what I want,” she says defiantly.
Fuck it.
She’s not expecting me to throw her over my shoulder, so she shrieks at the sudden movement. She’s only five feet tall. It’s easy to manhandle her. Get her up next to my cheek.
I slap her ass with one hard smack.
“Let’s see if I can’t change your mind,” I say.
She’s struggling as I storm out into the night, dragging her back to my cabin. I slap her ass a few more times because I like the sound. I like the breathy gasps. I like that I can do it, and she can’t stop me.
Tess doesn’t seem like she wants to stop me.
My dick’s so stiff by the time I get her back to my cabin, it’s coming out the waistband of my jeans again. I throw her onto my bed. She bounces, sprawls out. The coppery coils of her hair spill across my pillow. Her eyes lock right onto my erection and her tongue comes out to wet her lips. Fuck, but I want that tongue on me.
Just the idea makes a bead of semen swell from the tip of my cock. I rub it through my jeans. Her eyes follow the motions of my hand.
“You’re not posing nude.” At this point, I’m not asking. I’m informing her.
She narrows her eyes. “How will you stop me?” She starts to roll off the bed, but I push her back down.
I climb over her. My shaggy hair hangs around us. She’s pinned under my body, and I press my hips against her again, the way I need it.
Grinding my cock against her through our jeans isn’t enough anymore.
Tess kicks and squirms, trying to get out from under me.
She might as well be trying to run from a wolf. It just makes me want her more.
I fist her hair in one hand, yanking her head back to expose her throat, and rip her jeans open. The button pings against the wall. Seams pop under the zipper. I claw the waistband down, taking her underwear with it.
She growls like a cornered possum, but she’s soaked.
Pressing her underwear to my nose, I inhale deeply. It’s that sweet scent I’ve craved so badly since I licked her in my pickup. Those go into my pocket. I’m keeping them.
She stares at me, helpless with her hair held captive. I can see the whites all the way around her eyes. Her lips glisten with saliva.
“You’re not going anywhere,” I say.
I repurpose her jeans. Using my teeth, I tear one leg from the other, making a couple ropes.
Denim is strong. When I tie her wrists to my headboard, they’re not going anywhere. She’s trapped, and I’m free to explore her body.
“Oh my God, Rutger,” she says, laughing breathlessly as she pulls at her arms. “That’s a hell of a knot.”
I shove her shirt up and there they are—those huge breasts with dusky pink nipples, so perky that my mouth waters to taste them.
“Pretty,” I grunt out, like a fucking cave man. “Pretty tits.”
She laughs again as I suck her nipple into my mouth, laving my tongue over it, biting down hard enough to leave a mark and enjoying the sound of her tortured wail. I nuzzle my way between her breasts to the other one and suck on it a minute too. When my mouth pops off, it’s pulled long, glistening with my saliva.
Someday, these breasts are gonna be even bigger, swelling up with milk. When I suck on her nipples, my mouth will flood with the taste of her.
Already, I can imagine it.
“Mine,” I say. I don’t have any words besides that one right now. Mine, mine, mine . It screams through my veins.
But before I can claim her, I have to make sure we won’t be interrupted.
“Take what you want from me,” Tess says, spreading her thighs. She’s so needy. Hungry. Soaking. I can smell her arousal, taste her lingering on my tongue.
“I’m going to,” I say.
But I stand up.
Disappointment whooshes out of Tess in a breath. “Rutger!”
“Wait here,” I growl, like she has a choice.
Her despair makes a smile quirk at the corner of my mouth. She’s cute when she’s needy and dripping for me. I like that she can’t move.
I’ve got plenty of wooden planks around. I’ve been planning to build a deck around my cabin. But now I start putting them over the front door, driving nails into place with a couple sharp bangs of the hammer.
“Mine,” I snarl as she writhes in her restraints.
“Are you seriously boarding this place up?” she asks. “Are you expecting a zombie invasion?”
“Nobody can have what’s mine,” I grunt. “ Nobody .”
I jerk all the curtains shut. My kitchen window doesn’t have any, so I board that one up too.
And then I stand over her, drinking in the sight of my woman helpless to my desires.
The realization comes over her with a shudder.
I whip the belt out of its loops. Toss it aside.
My dick’s so hard that it springs straight out when I open my zipper.
I don’t know if I’m big compared to other men. I haven’t had an opportunity to check. But I’ve got huge hands, and it’s still an effort to wrap my fingers all the way around, and I’m long enough that my hands stacked leave the head showing. I squeeze and stroke myself lightly, trying to relieve some of the pressure.
But nothing’s gonna relieve me except Tess’s tight little virgin pussy.
Which… I don’t really know what to do with.
“What are you waiting for?” Tess asks, like she’s the one in charge, even though she’s tied to my bed with her jeans.
“I want to fuck you through the bed,” I say. “Like a fucking animal. But...”
She clocks my hesitation. “I need to be prepared.”
I had noticed she was small. “Stretched?”
“Yes.” Tess is trembling with need. I see it in her eyes.
With my cock at the ready, I climb onto the bed again, putting myself between her thighs. It’s a good place to be. It feels right.
I press my thumb inside her. It’s thicker than my other fingers, and she must feel the difference because her mouth drops open and a strangled ohhh comes out that I haven’t heard before.
She’s so wet, and I need her bad.
My second thumb fits in with the first and I love how she twists at the pressure. I massage her inner walls. I pull them apart, stretching her. Watch her eyelids flutter. Her breasts shake when she gusts out a long breath.
“Don’t know how you could fit me,” I say. “You’re so small and tight.”
“I’ve been saving myself—for you,” she says. “I didn’t even know it was you. But it’s you. Nobody’s touched me, nobody’s been inside me except you. And you’re huge.”
I stroke the dark inner places of Tess I can’t see, relying on touch, keeping my missing fingers curled into my palm so they won’t upset her. I don’t think she could notice anything right now—not missing fingers or even a bomb hitting the cabin. Her knees shake. She pulls on the bindings. Her head thrashes as she whimpers.
I can’t keep waiting. I’ve stretched her and it’s gotta be enough.
My cock hurts. The only salve is Tess.
Grabbing her hips, pushing them to the bed, I notch my cock against her entrance.
“This is going to hurt,” I tell her.
Maybe it will be painful for both of us, but I’ll take the pain along with the pleasure of making her my breeding mare. For her? I can’t see any way my cock’s going inside her without it tearing her in half, but the worst thing is that’s not going to stop me.
She nods, her lips pressed tight together. “I…”
“You’re going to want to scream. Let it come, baby. Scream and shout.”
“I’m scared.”
I press myself forward, the head of my cock splitting her open, spreading her lubrication over her tight little lips. “Don’t be scared, baby girl. Trust Daddy. It will be painful, but then it will feel good. You want that, don’t you?”
She doesn’t get a chance to nod before I push forward and her mouth falls open in a low wail that builds from her chest. Her cunt grips my shaft near the head, not letting me in any further, and I draw back instead to the sound of a screech of pain from my girl.
I don’t want to hurt her. I really don’t. But there’s no way I’m not going to claim her right now.
“You’re doing great, baby,” I murmur as I thrust forward again. “My special girl. Let Daddy in.”
She nods as I thrust forward, watching my cock split her open inch by veiny inch. She screams, and I wish I could stop and take all the pain away, but I can’t. All I can do is pull back, then thrust my hips forward, going deeper each time.
Finally, she gushes once more, and I thrust hard, disappearing inside her to the hilt.
I’m inside Tess. Jesus fucking Christ on a tortilla. I can die a happy man.
My mind pinpoints on that single fact. My mouth starts talking all on its own. “Christ. You’re tight. So fucking tight. But you want to take me, you’re so fucking wet, so hot, this tight virgin pussy—fuck—yes—take my cock, baby. Take it.”
Her eyes are rolling to the back of her head. She pulls hard on her restraints so she can bite down on my arm, pain shooting through me as she smothers the wail of ecstasy that pierces her throat.
I grab her face with one hand. Force her to look forward and open her mouth.
“Hurt me all you like, but don’t muffle,” I say. “Make those noises for me.”
And I punch in another inch. Impossibly, I’m going in deeper. Her mouth falls open and it feels like I’ve gone so far into Tess that I’m gonna see the head of my cock coming out the back of her throat.
When I pull myself back a little, her pussy sucks to my dick. Her lips grip me like a fist.
Then I spear my way deeper again, groaning all those animal sounds.
I fuck myself all the way into her.
Hips meet hips. My balls slap her ass.
“Oh my God!” she cries.
Bracing my knees, I work my hips in an unfamiliar motion that warms up my thighs and squeezes my ass. It’s like I’m sawing into her. Every single stroke, in and out, shoots lightning up my spine.
It’s nothing like touching myself. It’s not even like rubbing against Tess while we were dressed.
I’m completely absorbed in the fire of her sopping cunt and the sound of our bodies slamming into each other again and again.
I collapse on top of her and smother her mouth with mine. I bite at her lips, scrape my teeth on her jaw, latch onto her neck. “Gonna fill you. Spray myself all inside you.” I grab her hip and hike it higher, a better angle so I can go even deeper. “I’m gonna see this belly round with my fucking seed. Feels amazing. My baby girl.”
I’m pounding artlessly into her. Slap, slap, slap. A complete beast, taking exactly what I need.
It doesn’t take long now.
I’ve been aching for her so long. These long strokes in the snug heat of her body are shoving me toward a cliff I can’t escape.
My spine bows. I pull her thighs against me, sealing us tight together.
Orgasm sweeps over me.
I roar more like a bear than a man as my balls pump and my cock throbs and I shoot one blast after another to the depths of her pussy.
God, I’ve never felt such relief.
Then I fall over her, clear-headed for a minute. Drained and tired. The surge of affection and gratitude I feel is foreign too. I don’t want to bite her anymore. Instead, all I want to do is bundle her against my chest, kissing all the places I bit, stroking my hands gently over her body.
I reach up and let her out of the knotted jeans, kissing her strained arms.
“Good girl,” I mumble against her throat.
She holds me to her, running her fingers through my hair. “I love hearing that from you.”
“Then I’ll say it a thousand times. You’re a good girl. And you’re beautiful, Tess,” I say. “Beautiful. Warm, perfectly fitted, beautiful.”
We kiss long and slow in each other’s arms. I keep running my hand along her back, shoulder to hip, feeling the curves.
“I didn’t even think about using a condom,” she says. “I’m very…wet.”
“No condoms,” I say. “Not with me. I want you filled up with my baby.”
“You might have already done that,” Tess says.
The raging, possessive monster in my heart stirs at that idea. I might have already pumped the seeds into her that will turn into a baby. Our baby. The mental image of her belly growing with the child I’ve put inside of her makes my still-hard cock twitch.
I rise up on my knees, and my cock slides out. She gasps deliciously.
“Well that virginity is extremely gone.” She grins, but I’m too distracted to smile back.
I’m staring at where my cream, tinted pink by blood, is oozing out of her. I push it back in with my thumb, keeping it all up inside.
“Did you…?” I ask, not sure what word to use.
“Come?” she asks with another of those little giggles that drive me wild. “I mean, yes but—I could come…more? Bigger, maybe. Getting you inside me was…distracting. It felt good, but—”
I cut her off. “How, then? I want you to have the more, the bigger coming.”
I want to pleasure her the way she pleasures me.
Tess tips her head to her shoulder, hair tumbling over her sweat-shiny brow. “Let me show you.”