Chapter Twenty-One
WE REALLY JUST NEARLY stormed out on each other, but Jamie was right. If we just fucking talked instead, this could all be no big deal.
“Grease knew I spent the night… that we were intimate, because when I was afraid to wake you from your nightmare, I grabbed my phone, looking for advice.”
“You called him?”
“Harsh!” Grease called out from the shop, proving the fuckers were still listening.
“Get lost, and that’s a fucking order from your VP!”
“You’re not my-” the rest of Jamie’s words were muffled, presumably my Grease’s hand, or at least I fucking hoped that’s what he used.
“I accidentally called him, and since I’d woken him, I let him in on what a prick I was being. You know what he said?”
Caroline bit her lip, stepping a little closer to me. “Um, something about wanting to kick your butt for waking him?”
I barked a laugh, unexpected, and yet somehow euphoric, because she was still here.
“Actually, yeah. You’re spot on. He also said that I should wake you up. Stop being a pussy, and just do it. I mean, then he was majorly annoying, and I hung up on him, but that’s all. I didn’t post it in some chat, or talk about it like an asshole. It meant too much to me for that.”
Did that sound any better?
“What I’m saying is, I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t talk about women I’m with. Not that I ever am. I just… Jesus, this is going off on a tangent.”
“I get it,” Caroline interrupted, smiling as she stepped closer, “I guess it’s not just me who gets the word vomit thing sometimes.”
“Gross,” I muttered, reaching out to stroke her cheek, “Seriously, you’re too important to me for any kind of guy talk about us.
I didn’t even want to talk to Grease. I was trying to look for someone sensitive…
” I trailed off, waiting for another argument, but the fact that there was silence either meant they’d backed off, or his mouth was busy now. Ugh.
“Harley, I’m sorry. I jumped to a dumb conclusion.
I don’t know how to do this ‘day after sex’ thing.
It’s a first for me. I… I guess I never really imagined what it’d be like, because I never saw me doing it with anyone.
Even a week ago, I thought I wouldn’t. Even two days ago.
You changed that. You changed me, I mean, not my brain, that’s still whacked or whatever-”
“I like your brain. It lets you be honest with me, when someone else might hold back.”
She looked like nobody had ever complimented her for the way her mind worked, or the way she processed things, but she clearly needed to hear it.
“Your brain is part of you, Caroline. You might feel like you don’t function the ‘normal’ way, but can I be honest?
I prefer the way you are. I prefer brutal honesty, and I prefer it when you blurt out the things on your mind, because that’s the stuff others withhold, that causes problems later.
I don’t have to wonder where I am with you.
You put it all out there, up front, like a fucking grown up. ”
Her eyes filled with tears, and I groaned, pulling her into my arms, the last of the tension dropping from me, as I fucking held her.
It was becoming clear to me that she wasn’t just a friend or a client, or even a potential anything.
She was already fucking mine. I wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear it, but Jamie’s words rang out in my mind once more, so I bit the bullet.
“Caroline,” I murmured, waiting until her eyes lifted and she was looking at me, focused on me, and what I was about to say, and fuck it, I just did it, “I’m falling in love with you.”
Her mouth dropped open, and more tears slipped down her cheeks. Fuck me. If that wasn’t the most honest and visceral reaction to something I’d said, I don’t know what would be.
“Really hoping those are happy tears now…” I tried to sound offhand, or glib, but my fucking heart was on the line, and I needed to know.
“You… really? I don’t really know how it feels to fall in love, but it feels like something big is happening.
Something huge.” I bit back the schoolboy in me who wanted to crow at those words, saying something along the lines of ‘that’s what she said’, like anyone else I knew would, because this was an important moment for both of us. Maybe the most important one ever.
“So we’re okay?” I used my thumbs to push her tears away, and she nodded.
“So okay, Harley. So so okay. I’m sorry I’m crying. That’s weird, huh?” She blushed, lowering her eyes, but I leaned close and kissed the tears from her cheeks, catching the sound of her breath as it hitched in her throat.
“Oh god,” she whispered, before she lifted her lips to mine, and we sealed our biggest conversation with a kiss. One that I hoped said everything better than I could have ever done. I wasn’t a master of words, but she seemed to understand me in a way nobody else did.
“Not to disturb you lovebirds or whatever, but there’s a customer out here, man,” Rocket said, actually sounding as discreet as I’d ever heard him, so I lifted a hand, offering him a thumbs up, as I gently teased my lips away from Caroline’s.
“I have to go deal with that, but this isn’t over. I need more of you, Caroline, I want to taste every inch of you this time.”
She shuddered, swiping her tongue over her lips in a way that made me want to dive back in.
“Get back to work, little lady.”
She giggled, reaching up to cup my cheek for a moment.
“I’m definitely at risk of falling for you, Harley.”
As I watched her hurry away, I forced myself to take a few slow breaths, pushing myself from loved up into work mode, but I already knew I’d lied to her. I wasn’t falling in love. I was already fucking there.
Caroline
IWAS AT MY desk for an hour, merrily scanning images, and uploading them, so comfortable in this space all of a sudden, but maybe that was Harley’s presence beside me that I was feeling.
He was discussing complex modifications with a client, booking him in, and then he was back to working on Rocket’s motorcycle, which had clearly had some kind of catastrophe today.
“I’m telling you, man, nothing short of disaster would have made me late.
I’m not that guy. I say I’m gonna be here, I’m fucking here,” he was grumbling at Harley as they left the room, but every time Harley passed me, he took the opportunity to touch me, or slip another coffee beside me.
He was attentive and protective, and I was starting to think this really was love, because why else would I be so attuned to him that I knew where he was at any moment?
His presence was bleeding through my concentration while I was in the zone, and that was unheard of.
“Sorry about before,” Jay said as she crouched by my desk, just as they were preparing to leave.
“That’s okay. I’m sorry I’m so easy to freak out.”
She shook her head. “Look, I was serious about offering support or whatever if you need it. Grease was too. There’s not much we can’t achieve when we work together, instead of butting heads.
You’re gaining a whole family if you’re with Harley, you know.
They’ll all learn how to conduct themselves around you so you feel safe.
Even me,” she laughed then, waving a hand at herself, “I swear I have training in this stuff. Anyway, we’re off, but here,” she slid a business card at me.
It had no name on it, just a telephone number.
“This is my mobile number, so if you need anything at all, I’m always just a call away.” She waited until I nodded, struck dumb by her kindness, and then she grinned.
“Anyway, I’m off to hand Grease his ass. He’s been far too sassy today.”
“Promises, promises, little pain.” Grease winked at me. “Nice to see you again, Caroline.”
They left, and just as I thought I’d get to spend some time with Harley, with fewer people around, my own mobile phone started ringing.
“Mum? Everything okay?” She normally rang on the same day, at the same time, so I knew to expect the call. Unexpected calls terrified me.
“Don’t panic, love. It’s just… your cousin V is here already, and she’s in a mess. I thought you could come over and help me support her.”
Poor V, Victoria her name was, but if you called her anything but V you were likely to get your ass kicked. Her husband, or now ex husband, had made many mistakes like that with her, but cheating on her with her friend had been the last straw.
She’d had to sell up and leave her whole life, and I couldn’t even imagine that much disruption to a life that was already so settled. No wonder she was a mess. I closed my laptop as I stood up.
“Don’t worry, mum, I’m on my way now. I just need to say… uh… finish up.”
I ended the call before she could ask about my slip-up, and as I packed up Rocket’s file, with my bookmark in the relevant place, they both reappeared, badgering each other, as seemed to be their way.
“Oh… you ready for a late lunch, babe?”
“Ooooh, it’s babe now.”
“Fuck off, Rocket. Caroline?”
I sighed, waving my phone at him.
“Mum needs me. V came back early and she’s a mess. I’ll message you later, if that’s okay?”
Harley nodded, reaching for my hand to lead me out to the car park, where my motorcycle was waiting for me, since we’d come in today separately, but together.
Riding with Harley like that, not on the same motorcycle, but as a couple of riders, was amazing.
A new thrill to experience, because I’d never done that before either.
“Bye, Rocket, I’ll be back tomorrow to finish it.”
“Thanks, Caroline, you’re the fucking best,” he replied, grinning as he took the folder back to his counter, and Harley grabbed my laptop, tucking it under his arm.
“Let’s get you out of here, before I decide to keep you,” he murmured in my, ear, sending a shiver of excitement down my spine. I wanted that. I actually wanted to be kept by this man. To be his.
“If you don’t message me later, I just might swing by to check on you,” he warned as he helped me zip my laptop into my backpack and tucked it over my shoulders, dutifully fiddling with the strap adjustors, until it sat perfectly.
“Ride safe, okay? I’d ask you to message when you get there, but I feel like I’m being a bit too needy right now.”
I liked it. I liked it very much, loved it even. Feeling protected and special. Important to someone, important enough that he cared if I reached my destination safely.
“I’ll message, I promise. Thank you, Harley, thank you for not letting me put you off, you know, when I’m being weird.”
He kissed the tip of my nose, and grinned as I giggled.
“Not seeing weird, babe. Just seeing you.”
For a second, I pondered that, realising it could be an insult as easily as it could be a kindness, but knowing Harley like I was starting to, I knew he wasn’t being mean.
He rolled his eyes at himself. “Yeah, I heard it too. Not what I meant though.”
I stretched up on tiptoes, pressing my lips against his, and that was all it took for him to wrap a strong arm around my waist and pull me tight against him, his lips devouring mine. It made me never want to leave him, or his embrace.
“Fuck. If I don’t let you go now, I never will,” Harley murmured against my lips.
I never expected to enjoy such closeness with anyone, but something about him, and the way everything he did resonated as safety and protection, made it possible.
If someone else had just done that, I’d be running.
I still wanted to run, but not away from him. I wanted to always run to him.
“I’ll message when I get there,” I whispered, regretting the loss of his touch as he slowly released me.
“Be good,” he said with a grin, watching as I put on my helmet, which he checked for me, like he just had to know it was secure, and then he watched as I rode away from him, every metre feeling like a mile.