Chapter Thirty-Four
IHADN’T BEEN BACK to my flat in days, except on brief hops to grab clothes, or whatever. I wasn’t living with Caroline, but it was starting to feel like it, and that was fine with me.
We sat down in her living room that evening, and she linked her laptop up to her large flatscreen TV, to talk me through what she’d put together from our notes.
It was like watching my vision coming to life right in front of me.
She had the layout of the interlinked buildings just right, creating one large wraparound building that had a courtyard in the centre, and an extra point of security at the front.
The secondary entry point, with extra gates, would keep the cops and other unsavoury types far enough away that they’d never see anyone, or witness anything we didn’t want them to.
The lounge was no longer a tiny little spot, but a large space with an actual bar and kitchen, and room for sofas and various seating areas, while leaving room for pool tables, and for general partying.
It was set away from the bedrooms, so it wouldn’t interrupt those sleeping.
There were workshops set aside at the corner points of the block, and masses of covered parking for our rides.
It was everything I could have wanted, and more.
“Baby, this is perfect. How the fuck did you create all this from a walkabout, and a little chitchat?”
Caroline smiled at me, and I swear I could see her fucking pride in that smile. She knew she’d knocked it out of the park, and I loved seeing her this confident in her skills, because she had no reason to keep talking herself down.
I took her hand and angled to face her on the sofa, watching her do the same, although she looked confused as hell.
“Don’t worry, I’m not proposing,” I said with a grin, waiting for her light giggle before I continued, “yet.” She gasped, and I lifted her fingers to my lips, kissing them gently.
“Do you think you could do something for me, Caroline? I know it’s a big ask, but it comes from a good place, I promise.” Those damn nerves were back, but I was pressing my luck and I knew it.
“Um… I can try?” I couldn’t ask for more without her knowing what I was about to ask, so I continued.
“Can you please try to remember this moment when you doubt yourself? Can you please try to remember that you are perfect as you are, and nothing about you is weird or awkward? You talk yourself down a lot, and I get it, I’m sure you’ve had assholes in your past, making you feel less-than, when the truth is they’re the ones lacking.
You’re beautiful, and sweet, but you’re so much more.
You’re strong, even though you don’t realise it.
You’re talented as fuck, even though you’d never admit it.
You’re everything I could possibly want in a partner, a girlfriend, wife, and old lady, and I want to help you discover that for yourself.
I want to empower you to see the value in you, regardless of those moments where you feel out of control, or overwhelmed.
Nothing about you is imperfect, and everything about you is amazing. ”
I reached up to brush tears from the corners of her eyes, and held her face gently.
“Whoa, I never meant to ramble on so long. Just please, remember showing me this design, that you mocked up after the briefest of chats, and it’s fucking perfect.
There’s not a thing you got wrong. Not a fucking thing.
” I kissed her gently, stroking her cheeks as her breath hitched with tears she didn’t need to spill.
Tears that told me so much about how she’d seen herself, her whole fucking life.
Other people’s opinions are just that, their fucking opinions.
They don’t matter to anyone else, but some people work so hard to push them on those around them.
Even those they should love and protect.
“I love you, baby. And I’m so fucking proud of you.”
Her breath hitched with another repressed sob, and I watched her lips trembling as she fought to compose herself.
“It’s okay, baby. I see you. Now, you want me to make a cuppa?”
Caroline cleared her throat, swiping at her eyes as she shook her head.
“In a minute. I uh… thank you for all of that. My brain needs time to process everything you said, but I love you. I love you for seeing me the way you do, and for giving me space to… um… space to compose myself. I… I had a second version of the design. An idea of my own. Can I show you?”
I lifted my eyebrows. “Did my baby go rogue? Fuck yeah, show me.” I tucked us together again on the sofa, and she flicked up an alternate design that had a few subtle changes, or wait, not so subtle after all.
She held up a hand. “Let me explain. First of all, by repositioning the fire pit here, you’d have more room for manoeuvring motorbikes around, or for visitors or whatever, and this here…
” she pointed to a small ‘guardhouse’ type building by the inner gates, “this would give your prospects cover and protection from the elements, and they could even rest in shifts, if you put a bed and some small home comforts in there. This covered porch would protect the ones on guard.”
She was right. I’d somehow completely overlooked the comfort of the prospects, and when I’d visited the other Phoenix MC site, I’d noticed that they had a small guardhouse for the prospects to hang out in when on duty. Perfect.
I pressed a kiss against her temple. “Smart thinking, baby. I love both ideas…” I trailed off as I noticed there was a difference with the lounge too, “Uh, what’s this space here?”
There appeared to be a closed off room adjacent to the bar, big enough for a few seating areas, but it wasn’t something I’d requested.
Caroline’s cheeks darkened a little when I glanced at her.
“Um… well, the clubhouse is a very um… man kinda space, you know it’s for men to hang out, but, well, there are women too, or there will be at times, and this could be…
it could be an old lady space. Somewhere Cammy and Sophie could safely keep the babies, while some or all of the women hang out there.
It could be for anything really, but, you know, they’re a lovely group of ladies, and I think they’d love their own space. ”
Jesus fuck. She’d nailed it, except for one point.
“You keep saying ‘they’, but the word you’re looking for is ‘us’. You’re one too, or at least I really want you to be.”
Caroline
IWANTED HIM TO say it, I wanted to hear those words, but I was also afraid of them, because it meant making the club and those noisy, rowdy men a part of my life. Part of my future. Could I manage that? Wasn’t the very thought making my palms sweat as I clenched them in my lap.
“Caroline, baby, you’ve literally just suggested a safe place at the clubhouse.
A women only space. Somewhere you could be away from the noises and craziness of my brothers, while still being around.
You know, you saw them en masse at the worst possible time.
A party. They were high on the feelgood emotions of doing a good deed.
They’re not always like that. They’re hardworking men, they’re dedicated to what we’re about, and some of them are even quiet and unassuming. ”
I stared at the screen, at that room I’d added, that I could end up hanging out in with Cammy, and the other old ladies. I could manage that, couldn’t I? Hadn’t I done just that yesterday? Hadn’t I survived a night at the club, with the men in party mode?
“I… I want to try,” I whispered, biting my lip as I stared at my man, the man I wanted to fight through my fears for, because he’d given me so much. He’d helped me to find my strength, and I owed him everything I could give him in return.
“Really?” His face had lit up at my words, making him look hotter and younger all at once.
He wasn’t old at all, but my words seemed to take the stress out of his face, and it helped to strengthen my resolve.
I wanted to give him that every hour of every day.
I wanted to be the person who made him feel young and unburdened. I wanted to be his everything.
“Really. I want us to build on what’s growing here between us, and I want us to keep making it bigger and better until…” I frowned, my words trailing off as Harley pressed his lips together, fighting a grin, “that came out way more innuendoey than I’d planned.”
“I get it, but you’re also so adorable when you blush like that. It makes me want to keep doing things to you that make you redder and redder, until you explode with pleasure, all over my face, or my cock, I’m easy. Fingers too. See? Adorable.”
I gained a little reprieve in that moment, when Harley’s phone rang, and he groaned, digging it out of his pocket.
“Fuck. It’s Micro, I’m sorry. I’ll be quick.”
“It’s fine. I’ll make tea.” It gave me a few minutes to compose myself, to force that heat from my cheeks, and the residual embarrassment, and arousal, from my mind and body.
I could hear the low hum of Harley’s voice in the living room as I made the tea, and it struck me then how much I loved him being in my space.
Hearing him, seeing him, just being in the same place as him.
Even so, I still jumped when he suddenly appeared behind me, his arms sliding around my waist from behind.
“Sorry about that, baby, he was just prattling on about the bike show.” Bike show?
“What bike show?” Harley let me turn to face him, smiling sheepishly at me.
“Kinda forgot all about it, what with finding me the perfect lady and all that. It’s the day after tomorrow. Rocket and I are both supposed to be going, to showcase our services. You wanna come with?”
A bike show. In so many ways, it sounded like an amazing experience, but all experiences brought that one thing that always overwhelmed me. It was inevitable really. People.
“You’d be safe with us, back behind our stand. You wouldn’t have to speak to anyone if you don’t want to. Plus you could come on your own ride, and leave when you’re ready, even if we have to stay and finish up.”
Hadn’t I just told myself I wanted to try for him? Wanted to be there for him, and support him in what he does? I swallowed hard and nodded.
“That’s my girl, baby, so fucking brave. I promise you’ll be safe with me, always.”
I believed him, and that’s why what happened at the show was such a shock.
IN THE END, I travelled on the back of Harley’s motorcycle with him, because I loved how it felt to be wrapped around him, feeling his strong body manipulate the roads like a pro.
I leaned with him, and together we ate up the distance so fast it felt like we’d barely been on the road for half an hour. It was well over an hour, in fact.
We arrived early in the morning, along with Rocket on his own motorbike, and a van driven by a prospect, which contained the samples and display pieces, and everything else the men both needed.
I helped set up, assisting both of them, and using my visual skills to make their displays look great, something that I was really proud of.
I even snapped a few photos on my phone of their setups, and them manning their stations, because I realised that they needed these things on their own websites.
In fact, they needed plenty of help improving those, and a stronger social media presence, and I was already planning to offer.
“Baby, it’s open to the public now, so can you come around the back here? I’ve got you a seat, snacks, drinks, and you’re under cover. I don’t want anyone touching you.”
“Even me?” Rocket joked, sobering fast at a glare from Harley.
“Especially you, fuckhead.” They weren’t wearing their cuts, but they both had a discreet logo on their display, so that other MC members would recognise them.
I wasn’t sure if it was a calling sign to others, or a warning, but I dug out my kindle, and sat back to read while they did their thing.
When it grew noisier, Harley had prepared for that too, digging out my headphones, so I could listen to music on my phone, and drown out the peopley craziness out there.
I knew I should be reading, but I often just watched Harley at work. He had a way with people, getting them joking and laughing pretty fast, and he and Rocket worked well together, making sure to draw each other into their interactions with prospective customers. It was beautiful, until it wasn’t.
The first sign of trouble was the large guy in leathers who stepped up in front of Rocket’s spot, and jabbed a finger at one of the carefully sprayed display pieces.
I saw Rocket straighten it up, and say something I couldn’t hear, because I’d turned my music up louder.
The guy looked like he yelled something at Rocket, and then he shoved the display, knocking several incredibly intricately sprayed pieces onto the grass.
Harley stepped in to back Rocket up, and the guy suddenly had a friend, also dressed in leathers, who fronted at my man. I felt my heart thudding in my chest as I slowly slid the headphones off, and took in what was happening around me, as others stopped to watch too.
“I said, back off. Don’t make a scene. There are kids here, dammit.”
The first guy rolled his eyes at Harley. “Typical fucking Phoenix pussy. You guys need to grow some balls. Kids? Who gives a fuck. They get in my way, and they’ll get a clip round the ear.”
“Wow, you’re a class act,” Rocket added, ignoring the parts on the grass, because I guess he wanted to stay standing and ready to fight.
“And you’re a pair of cunts who need your asses kicked. Showing up here like you’re worth shit. I’d say you should join a real club, but nobody’d take Phoenix pussies, right, Jab?”
The other guy laughed, reaching over to shove all the flyers off Harley’s counter.
To his credit, my man simply glanced at Rocket and laughed.
“Adorable how they think they’re bothering us, right? I’ve seen scarier fucking kittens.”
“Fuck you!” The guy lunged over the counter, trying to punch Harley, and I dove out of my seat, as he staggered backward to avoid the guy, and caught the chair with his foot.