2. Boone
Nine o’clock came too fast. I was restocking the prepackaged lunch meat when Mr. Godwin walked by and announced that it was closing time and he was locking the doors. I nodded at him to acknowledge that I’d heard. And the reality of what waited for me when I walked out of the store hit me like an anvil to the head.
I knew at some point I was going to have to go to Mom’s house. I was going to have to face my past and the demons that lived there. But I wasn’t ready. And I hated that the anxiety of that decision reignited inside of me every evening. I could only hope that Mr. Godwin wanted me to stay the night again. Then the decision would be made for me.
I just wondered if Juniper would fight him about it like she had the first night. After this morning in the bathroom, I felt a shift in our relationship. I was more than happy to give her space, but she seemed to need me. And it felt good to focus on someone else’s problems rather than my own.
It was the reason I’d joined the service. I couldn’t save Mom, but I could save others. In some messed up, Rorschach-test way, saving others filled the void created inside of me as a child. Watching my mother get tossed around by every guy she brought home had left me feeling helpless.
I didn’t know a lot Juniper’s story, but I knew one thing—her husband was an asshole. What kind of guy would treat her like that? He didn’t deserve Juniper. She deserved better than him.
I flexed my hand before I reached into the cardboard box and pulled out some packages of lunch meat. When I saw him grab her hand at the diner yesterday, it took all my strength not to pull him up and take him outside. There were very few things that could get my blood boiling, and lowlifes who abused women were one of them.
Whenever I saw a man lord himself over a woman, like Juniper’s husband had, it made me lose all the self-control that I’d worked so hard to harness. I didn’t think, I acted. I wasn’t surprised by Juniper’s response. I’d seen it before as a kid. Mom’s blank stare as she tried to process what was happening to her. She was mentally calculating what defying him would do to her situation in the future. Women in battered relationships never stayed because they wanted to.
They knew where acting out left them. If they weren’t ready to face that consequence, then they stayed passive and subservient. Relationships were a game of chess, and they were weighing whether sacrificing their queen was the right move or not.
Many people saw women like that as weak, but Juniper wasn’t weak. The tongue-lashing she’d given me after he left had proven that. She had feelings and opinions—she just lost that part of herself when he was around. And that thought had me flexing my hand as I stood next to the fridge. The desire to take care of her ex grew stronger. If she wasn’t going to leave him, I could make him disappear and make it look like an accident.
It’s not like I had anything to lose.
“You okay, Boone?” The soft, feminine voice of Mrs. Godwin pulled me from my thoughts. I blinked and turned to face her. “What?” I asked as my sight cleared and I saw her standing in front of me with her eyes wide.
“You’re manhandling the meat,” she said, nodding toward my hands.
I glanced down to see that my knuckles were white as I was practically strangling the food. I quickly relaxed my fingers and set the lunch meat down onto the cart that was empty, except for the cardboard box I was currently unpacking.
“Yeah, sorry,” I said as I forced thoughts of Juniper and her husband from my mind and smiled at her. “I just got lost in thought, I guess.”
Mrs. Godwin brought her gaze up to meet mine. “Ah.” She flicked her gaze down to my hands and then to the clipboard she was holding in her hand. “Mr. Godwin was wondering what your availability was for the week so I can make the schedule.”
I turned to the fridge and tucked the slightly strangled lunch meat behind the other packages I’d unloaded earlier. “I’m completely free,” I said as I turned back around to grab the remaining three packages.
“Completely free?” she asked.
I nodded. “Whatever you need, I can do.” When she didn’t respond right away, I glanced over at her. “Is that okay?”
She was writing something on her clipboard, but I could tell that her eyes were brimming with tears. “God truly blessed us when he sent you here.”
I frowned, not expecting her to say that. She flourished her pen like she had just finished off her sentence with a period and glanced up at me. She sniffled, and I knew that I couldn’t let her walk away until I asked if everything was okay. “Mrs. Godwin?—”
“Betty.”
I blinked. My momma had raised me to be a good southern boy. You never called a lady by her first name. “Miss Betty.”
She gave me an exasperated look before she nodded. “Yes?”
“Is everything okay?”
She tucked the clipboard under her arm so she could pinch the bridge of her nose. She closed her eyes, and I watched as her shoulders rose and fell with each breath. “I’m just worried.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
She pulled her hand away from her nose and glanced up at me. “You’re already helping more than you know.” She smiled. “Your help with Juni and around the store…has been a blessing.”
“Of course.”
She studied me as if she were weighing her words carefully. Then I saw something shift in her gaze. Like she had made a decision. “I got a call from my sister this morning. She lives in California.”
“Okay.”
She glanced around her. “She had an irregular mammogram.” She paused. “A mammogram is where they take a woman’s breast?—”
“I know what a mammogram is,” I said quickly. The earlier conversation with Mrs. Godwin and Juniper had taken a strange turn. I wasn’t ready to relive that awkwardness all by myself. At least outside of the bathroom, I could leave Juniper to deal with her mom. There was no way I could leave Mrs. Godwin standing in the lunch meat section alone. My upbringing wouldn’t allow me to leave her mid conversation.
Mrs. Godwin blinked. “Right. You have a mom.” She shook her head. “Anyway, I want to be there for my sister. But Rich…he won’t leave Juni with Kevin in town. I was thinking that you might be able to…” She let her voice trial off as she tipped her face forward and raised her eyebrows.
I frowned, not wanting to misinterpret. “Do you want me to convince him to go?” I asked.
“Rich trusts you. If you tell him you’ve got everything covered, I’m sure he’ll feel much better about leaving.”
It was strange to me how trusting the Godwins were. To me, if a person was breathing, they could hurt you. Even the most kind and passive person could turn on a dime. So it was unnerving that these people would be so willing to leave their store and their daughter in the hands of a man they just met.
Sure, I had the backing of a few people in town. People that had grown up with my mom and had known me since I was a boy. But Betty and Rich didn’t know much about me. It felt as if they were desperate to trust someone and I was their best option.
“If that’s what Mr. Godwin really wants, I’m happy to help.”
Betty’s eyes glistened with tears once more as she smiled up at me. “Thank you, Boone. You’re such a good guy.”
I forced a smile even though her words didn’t make me happy. If I was such a good guy, my mom might still be alive. If Mrs. Godwin only knew how much I’d failed the one woman who I should have protected, she might not say those words. But her eyes were so wide and her smile so big, all I could do was nod. “Thanks.”
“Let me go see if I can find him,” she said as she pulled out her clipboard and hurried away, flipping papers, before I could stop her.
I hadn’t meant that I would talk to him right this moment. Mrs. Godwin was gone before I could say anything. I was left standing there, with lunch meat in both hands, staring at her retreating frame and wondering what I’d just gotten myself into.
I had just finished breaking down the box when Mr. Godwin stumbled toward me. He was protesting as Mrs. Godwin shoved him toward me.
“Lord, woman,” he grumbled as he straightened up, rubbing his back. “Whatever Boone has to say to me, I can take my own time getting to him.”
“We don’t have a lot of time,” she said as she followed behind him, waving her hand in my direction. “Talk to him.”
Mrs. Godwin was sneaky. Suddenly, I was the one who had to convince Mr. Godwin to leave his business and daughter solidly in my hands. I straightened and set the box cutter down on the top of the cart.
“Alright, son,” Mr. Godwin said as he squared his shoulders and stood in front of me. “What do you have to talk to me about so badly that my wife had to manhandle me to get me over here?”
Embarrassment coursed through me as heat pricked at my skin. I glanced over at Mrs. Godwin, who looked so hopeful as she studied me. I really was on my own. I sucked in my breath and turned back to look at Mr. Godwin.
“Sir,” I started, and then every single word flew from my mind. How much did I say? How was I going to convince this man that he should take his wife away from his home and leave me in charge?
“Dad?” Juniper’s voice broke up the silence. We turned to see her approaching us from the cereal aisle.
She frowned as she glanced between me and her parents. “What’s going on here?” Her gaze lingered on me, and without thinking, I glanced over to Mrs. Godwin. Her eyebrows were so high, they looked as if they were going to disappear into her hair. Juniper seemed to pick up on it and turned her attention to her mom.
“Mother?” she asked. “What are you planning with Boone behind my back?” Her hands were on her hips.
Mrs. Godwin started sputtering. I could tell that she was flustered, and I felt bad for her. Her lips were moving but no sound was coming out. She kept glancing over at Mr. Godwin and then back to her daughter. I feared she would melt into a puddle on the floor, so I took a step toward them. “Mrs. Godwin was telling me how worried she was about her sister in California.”
All gazes snapped to me. Juniper’s eyes widened.
I swallowed and continued. “After her sister’s irregular mammogram”—that word felt weird on my tongue—“she was wanting Mr. Godwin to come with her to help support the two of them through this.” I paused. “Mr. Godwin would be there to help Mrs. Godwin, who is there to help her sister.” I pointed to imaginary people in front of me as I explained, as if that was all it took to make this situation make sense.
Silence filled the space around us as my words lingered in the air. I waited for someone to speak, but no one seemed ready to. I feared what I was going to say if I kept going, so I just stood there, waiting for someone—preferably Mrs. Godwin—to pick up the baton.
“I think that’s a great idea,” Juniper said.
I wasn’t the only one who was surprised she spoke first. We all turned to stare at her. She was studying the ground and nodding. When she looked up, she focused on her dad.
“I think you should go. I’m here. I can take over the store. Plus, with Katie, Sal, Jordan and Tom…” She paused and glanced up at me. “And Boone.” Was it wrong that my chest swelled a bit at the sound of my name on her lips? “We’ll hold the fort down. You should go be with Aunt Christi. She needs you guys, and Mom needs you, Dad.”
I watched as Juniper’s gaze settled on Mr. Godwin, whose expression was stoic. He wasn’t really looking at anyone in particular. He stared off into the distance as if he were chewing on Juniper’s words.
“What do you say, Rich?” Mrs. Godwin asked.
He glanced over at her and then sighed. “I don’t like the idea of leaving the store, but if it’s what you need, then we should go.”
Mrs. Godwin’s eyes filled with tears once more. She crossed the space between her and Mr. Godwin and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you,” she whispered.
I suddenly felt like I was intruding on an intimate family moment. I took a step back and focused on the floor in front of me as I waited for them to break apart. Movement in front of me drew my attention up, and I met Juniper’s gaze. She was studying me like she was trying to figure something out.
Like she was trying to figure me out.
Unsure of what I was supposed to do, I offered her a small smile. She blinked as if she hadn’t realized she’d been staring at me and moved her focus to her parents, who had released each other and stepped back.
“Let’s close up the store and head home,” Mr. Godwin said as Mrs. Godwin nodded.
I didn’t wait for Mr. Godwin to excuse me. I grabbed ahold of the cart began pushing it toward the back of the store. When I got to the swinging doors that led to the back room, I turned and backed through them.
Once I was alone, I straightened. I exhaled as I scrubbed my face with my hand before tipping my head back and staring up at the ceiling. Getting this involved with the Godwin family seemed the exact opposite of what I’d wanted to do when I got back to Harmony.
I hadn’t meant to insert myself into a family and pretend like my life wasn’t a complete disaster. I’d intended to come back and keep to myself. Now, I was not only keeping Juniper’s secret, I seemed to be Mrs. Godwin’s confidant as well.
If only these people knew how badly I’d failed my own family, they wouldn’t be so eager to let me into theirs. If they knew the real me, they’d stay as far away as possible.
I wasn’t a good person. And it was only a matter of time before they pushed me out of their lives forever.