Chapter 19 #3
“Did you pack your bathing suit?” Tanner asks, setting my suitcase on the dresser and opening it up.
“Yes.” I stride over and attempt to shoo him away from my personal effects. “Get out of my stuff.”
“Never,” he replies, grabbing a pair of my knickers and tucking them into his pocket.
“God, you’re mental.”
“Put your suit on.” Tanner winks and disappears into the loo.
By the time he comes out, I’m already covered up with a cotton sundress.
Tanner holds my hand as he walks us down the stairs and to the other wing of the house.
After passing through an impressive media room and a fully kitted professional gym, it’s then that I see the gorgeous indoor poolroom glowing blue in the darkness.
It’s completely flanked in glass, the pool lights reflecting off the surfaces like a shimmering oasis.
Outside there are loads of overgrown trees giving the sense of seclusion and privacy.
Tanner smirks at me and wastes no time pulling his T-shirt over his head.
I have to pause and admire the beauty before me.
He looks like a beach bum as he tucks his long blonde locks behind his ears.
His tan skin is smooth and bumpy in all the right places.
His trimmed beard and ink add a masculine edge to him that is utterly mouth-watering.
He tweaks his eyebrows, sucking me back to reality. His eyes dip. “I showed you mine, now show me yours.”
His cheek makes me feel a bit brazen. I glance at the door. “Is there any chance your brother will come down here?”
He frowns. “Tired of me already, Ryan?”
I laugh and shake my head. “Not even close, Harris.” I frown as I realise just how truly I meant that.
He narrows his eyes. “Gareth is a devoted footballer. Nothing will stop him from getting his eight hours of sleep. We should be safe.”
Biting my lip, I reach under my dress and slide my black bikini bottoms down and toss them to him. He catches them deftly with one hand and brings them right to his face, inhaling deeply.
I laugh and shake my head. “Animal.”
“Tease,” he replies, his eyes turning positively feral.
I do the same with my top and, before I lose my nerve, I slide my dress down, letting it pool around my feet.
I’m now standing before him in nothing at all.
The look he gives me makes my knees tremble.
It’s one of complete and total animalistic attraction.
He drinks in every bare inch of me—not at all shy, not at all polite. He ogles me as if I was made for him.
And I let him.
I resist all my previous insecurities about my body.
I’ve never felt such instant comfort with a man before.
Perhaps it has to do with our first time together.
Or perhaps it’s the fact that we’ve had sex more than a dozen times in a short burst of time.
That much intimacy and that much exploration can certainly help a person find comfort.
Or perhaps it’s the fact that every time I’m naked with him, he has this look of tunnel vision as if nothing else exists in the world besides me and him and what he wants to do to me.
I move to walk past him and over to the water, but he captures my wrist in his hand, stopping me in my tracks. He jerks once and I fall into him, my hands coming to his arms and my breasts brushing against his chest.
“You’re fucking gorgeous.” He states it with a deep growl and seizes my lips in a surprising and possessive kiss. His hands slide down my backside and he pulls me against his erection.
I pull back with a sharp intake of air and whisper, “Ditch the trunks. We’re skinny dipping.”
He lets me slip out of his grasp, and I quickly dive into the water, expecting it to cool down the raging inferno swirling in my belly. I’m shocked to find it’s warm, like a glorious bath. I pop my head up out of the water with a smile.
“It’s a warm water pool!” I exclaim. “Oh my God, it’s wonderful. Get in here.”
He shakes off the heated look in his eyes and moves to pull his trunks down, his package standing at a full salute. “What you do to me, woman.” Shaking his head, he drops down into the water right next to me.
His hands immediately reach, pulling me to him.
We tread water in the deep end, our legs tangling together as we swap giggles and kisses and brush up against all our overly sensitive wobbly bits.
There’s something delicious about skinny dipping that makes me feel like a sex goddess.
And skinny dipping in a warm pool is downright erotic, especially when Tanner looks at me the way he’s looking at me now.
His blue eyes are stunning next to the water. It makes me nervous.
“Tell me something, Belle Ryan,” he says, his breath uneven as he swims over to the shallow end by the steps. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
His question makes me frown. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
He sits down on a step so the water is chest high on him. With a shrug, he leans back and props his elbows on the step behind him. “That’s easy. Don’t want one.”
“Same,” I repeat, swimming over next to him. I rest my arms on the edge of the pool, my bare breasts touching the smooth tile.
He scrubs his hand over his wet face. “Well, why don’t you want one?”
I think about that for a moment. “I suppose I’m focusing all my energy on my job.”
He raises his brows. “Well, you’ve managed to balance a fake relationship with me okay.”
“That’s different,” I reply.
“How?”
“Because I don’t have to give you anything emotional. I just have to give you some time…and my body.” I grin.
His eyes narrow thoughtfully at my response. “What if you did have to give me something emotional? What would change?”
“Well, everything.” I wipe away some water streaking down from my hair and onto my face.
“You say I’m crazy now. Wait until you see me when I actually care about someone.
If I feel too much, I turn into a life-ruiner.
Indie’s the only friend I’ve ever managed to keep, and I think that’s because we’re cut from the same cloth. ”
His brow furrows. “How do you mean?”
“Her parents want nothing to do with her. Mine want nothing to do with me.”
“Surely that’s not true. You’re a doctor. They must be proud of you. Hell, I’m proud of you.”
His comment shoots through me like a lightning bolt trying to heat my frozen heart. “Thanks, but it’s different. Imagine if you didn’t play football. What do you think your dad would have done?”
He frowns. “I honestly don’t know. I’d like to think he’d support me.”
“Well, my parents aren’t like that. They have expectations. I chose to go to med school instead of law school and, to my parents, that was the equivalent of spitting on the family crest.”
“Christ,” he scoffs, but I continue because I’m on a roll now.
“You get along with your family because you’re all wild and outspoken and say how you feel and love each other no matter what.
Well, mine isn’t like that. They love the box my birth checked.
But the second I stepped out of that box of the dutiful child, I did more harm than good.
And well, you’ve seen a glimpse of my crazy. Imagine getting that full force.”
He frowns. “You don’t scare me, Belle.”
“Then you are in the minority. I’m just being realistic.
” I turn around and press my back to the wall.
“My family lives the society life. They are political and social climbers. Constant parties, constant dinners, constant charities, schmoozing, boozing. And it’s always for a selfish goal.
My brother is perfectly suited for that life.
He does what he’s told. He says the right things.
To them, I’m like…a live wire they are terrified of tripping.
I’m better off not existing. Being invisible. ”
Silence stretches out between us and I worry that I shared too much. Got too personal. I just admitted I don’t get emotional with blokes and here I am, gushing like a bloody water fountain.
Tanner reaches over and pulls me into his space, dropping his knees so I slide up his body and straddle his lap.
My arms wrap around his neck as I try to hide the raw vulnerability that creeps up from a dark place inside of me that I don’t often visit.
Ever since I met Indie and we started our Tequila Sunrise tradition, I don’t let my family hurt me anymore.
I know life is so much bigger than the pretentious expectations they’d like me to uphold to help them get ahead.
Saving lives, helping babies…That’s a way to really live life.
Tanner pushes a wet strand of hair off my face. “If your parents don’t see the incredible work you do, they are knobheads.”
I huff out a pathetic laugh and pin my eyes to his with determination, not wanting to come off weak. “I don’t need their approval anymore. I gave up on that a long time ago.”
He looks down, pondering that comment. “Still sucks, though.”
It does. In my heart of hearts, it actually really does hurt. I look outside, into the darkness all around us, staring up through the skylight for any sign of stars, anything to remind me that the world is bigger than my drama.
My words are quiet when I give voice to them again.
“It was a relief when they quit expecting me to attend their events. To stop participating in the charade. I could never fit the mould they expected of me. Honestly, what I’m doing for you is the first time in years they’ve asked anything of me.
It’s partly why I didn’t fight it more.” I look straight into Tanner’s eyes.
“But do you know the worst part of it all?”
“What?” he asks, a seriousness to his face that lets me know he’s really listening.
“Even though I never want to attend another one of their parties for as long as I live, I still want to be invited.”
A tenderness washes over his face, and I hope to God he can’t tell that the drip falling down my cheek is a tear. I’m mortified by how much I’ve babbled and immediately wish I could reverse time and just shut the fuck up.
I wait for Tanner to crack some rude joke, make some snarky comment, or do something silly to lighten the mood. Instead, he grabs my face in his hands and strokes his thumbs down my cheeks. He tenderly tucks my dark tendrils behind my ears and angles his head to skim his mouth over mine.
His lips are soft and comforting at first. A light touch to show support and understanding. But his hands move slowly from my face to my back and neck as he wraps both of his arms around me into a hug so tight, my breath has to synchronise with his.
Our bodies are completely flush, not a sliver of space to be found while our lips never stop moving. He continues hugging me and kissing me, his tongue warm and lyrical as he maintains a complete hold over me. It’s as if he’s trying to squeeze the ache out of me and pass it from me to him.
We’re both panting when we break apart, overwhelmed by the emotional exchange of our embrace.
Tanner’s eyes stay on mine as his hands dip under the water and he positions me over his erection.
He quirks a brow in silent question. I grant permission, trusting that he wouldn’t ask if he didn’t think it was safe.
He pulls me down over top of him. The water makes for a rough entry but once he’s in, I quiver with need.
The intensity in his eyes and the raw, carnal ache he’s showing me is too much.
I work myself against him, my breath heavy as he tucks further and further inside of me.
I moan and throw my head back as my need becomes nearly unbearable.
“No, Belle. Eyes on me.” He pulls my face down to him. “I see you.”
I drop my chin and nod. Our gazes lock. We hold each other hostage as our bodies tense, our grip on each other biting as we become lost in some sort of alternate universe where our eyes turn into windows to our souls and reveal absolutely everything.
I swear if his dick wasn’t inside me, the look in his eyes alone would be enough to send me over the edge.
We continue grinding against each other, his hips thrusting upward as he holds me in place above him.
Warm waves lap between us with each pulse.
My cries of pleasure echo off the walls like the riot of reflecting lights.
When my climax nears, desperation takes over and I have to look away while I come or I might never survive this.
I scream out his name and he drops his face to my chest, rolling his forehead over my heart.
I clutch him to me, ringing my hands through his hair, riding the aftershocks of my intense orgasm.
One so strong I swear I could be splitting in two.
“Belle.” Tanner’s voice is guttural, and I immediately feel the wet heat of him explode inside of me.
I grab his face and look into his eyes. They are vacant with shock at first, then slam closed as he presses his forehead to mine.
“Oh my God, Belle.” His voice is hoarse and disbelieving as he fights to catch his breath.
We hold each other, naked and panting, both coming back down from whatever universe we disappeared into for that brief moment in time. When he pulls back from me, I think he’s going to apologise, but all he does is kiss me. He kisses me and I think I hear him whisper “thank you.”
For what, I’m not really sure.