Chapter 24
“Well, this is it,” I say, looking at Belle as we walk through the bright yellow front door of my dad’s home in Chigwell, charged and ready for Sunday night dinner.
After Welly’s, we spent the rest of our weekend together doing normal, ordinary things. Shopping, brunching, laughing, screwing. Even fighting over the film we were going to rent.
She won.
However, bringing her to my dad’s today feels like anything but ordinary.
It feels important. Things with Belle and me are happening crazy fast, but it feels right.
Truthfully, I’ve always been this way. Once I decide on something, I go full steam ahead and I don’t let anything get in my way.
What happened to me after Manchester was a bit of temporary blindness.
I thought the heart couldn’t miss what it can’t see, but that was bollocks.
I missed Belle. Our time at Gareth’s was special and real and probably something I’ll never forget.
So her being here today is me opening myself up to more with her. This isn’t a game anymore.
“So this is where the infamous Harris Brothers grew up?” Belle asks, taking a turn around the foyer, stopping at the large wooden staircase that leads to the bedrooms. She grins. “I bet you got up to naughty things up there, didn’t you?”
I lift my brows as a random neighbour girl pops in my brain like a camera flash. She wasn’t anyone important, but she existed.
“I’d rather not talk about it,” I mumble, grabbing Belle’s hand and pulling her away from the stairs.
“No need to be awkward, Tanner,” she states, her heels clacking along the white marble floor as I lead her down the hallway. “I know you’ve been with other women. I’ve been with other men! It’s fine. We both have a past.”
“That we don’t need to discuss,” I grumble, my face twisting in disgust as I contemplate how hard it would be to kill every other man who’s ever touched Belle Ryan.
She stops abruptly and yanks me to her. Her hands reach up to cup my jaw as she says, “We’ll just have to make some new memories. Dirty ones maybe.”
She kisses me with a nip on my lip and I exhale.
Caring about someone this much is a strange, uncomfortable sort of feeling.
Only a month ago, shagging women was a sport to me.
It’s all my teammates and I thought about besides football.
But once you have someone that you don’t want to let go, it makes you wish you never would have taken hold of anyone else.
I give her arse a cheeky squeeze and pull her the rest of the way toward the kitchen. Turning my back to the door, I cock a brow at her. “Contrary to what you might believe about how much time I spent in my bedroom, this is where we spent most of our time.”
I back up through the double doors and turn to find Dad and Booker propped at the high-top island that sits parallel to the chef-style kitchen. Vi is at the sink, her apron dangling over top of the football that’s invaded her stomach.
“Hello there,” Dad states, standing up and pushing the condiment bottles off to the side. He reaches out and shakes Belle’s hand, bowing his head awkwardly. “You must be Belle.”
“I am. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Harris.”
“Please, call me Vaughn.”
I eye the playbook. “Going over tactics?”
He frowns and flicks his hand. “Just some manoeuvres I want Booker to be aware of for Wednesday. Middlesbrough has crazy attacking runs, so we want to be on the lookout. It’s nothing we can’t handle.
” He looks at Belle and a tightness forms around his eyes.
“I erm…know this whole thing between you and Tanner hasn’t been ideal these last few weeks, but I really appreciate you doing this for the team. ”
Belle turns to me with a sexy glint in her eyes. “It hasn’t been so bad.”
“Hi, Belle,” Vi beams, walking over to her and giving her an awkward arse-out hug. “Welcome to the madhouse.”
Belle laughs. “I’m sure I’ll fit right in.”
“Cam and Indie are out back,” Booker says, gesturing toward the French doors that lead out to the patio. “They’re fighting about Indie’s bartop performance in front of the whole team on Friday.”
My brows lift. “Oh, shiiiiit. Is Gareth refereeing?”
“No, he’s on the road,” Booker answers. “Hayden is out there.”
“I still can’t believe Indie danced on top of a bar!” Dad cajoles with a twinkle of chagrin. “She’s so professional at practice and matches. And she’s quiet when she comes over here.”
“That’s because it’s hard to get a word in edgewise around here,” Vi interjects, striding back into the kitchen just as Hayden comes through the door laughing. He covers his mouth with his hand and Vi’s face drops. “How bad is it?”
“It’s more comical than bad.” Hayden grips his side, his eyes crinkled with amusement. “They’ve officially challenged each other to a footie match. I’m here to recruit.”
I laugh and look at Belle. “You up for it?”
“Of course!” she exclaims. “I was there to witness it after all. It was a lot more Kristen Wiig comedy than it was Coyote Ugly provocative. Camden needs to lighten up.”
Vi laughs. “Too right! God, I wish I could have seen it.”
“Trust me, you don’t,” Booker mumbles, a disturbed look on his face.
“Oh, but I’m in heels.” Belle looks down at her feet regretfully.
“Try on my garden shoes by the door. I’m obviously in no condition to play.” Vi points to her stomach.
Hayden waltzes over to her and kisses her temple, his hand cupping her belly like it’s the most natural resting place for it. “I’ll stay here with you,” he murmurs, pinching a piece of cheese from the counter.
“No!” Vi exclaims. “Go play, really.” He frowns but she’s not having it. “Tanner can stay inside with me. Too many Harrises out there will surely result in an injury. You take Belle and make sure they all play clean. Camden can be a cheating wanker.”
I check with Belle to see if she’s good with this. Going against Vi wouldn’t be easy, but I’d fight the cause if Belle wants me out there. She assures me she’s good, though, so I do as my sister says and hang back.
I sidle up at the island and watch Vi grab a block of cheese out of the fridge. “Aren’t you exhausted?” I ask, watching her lumber around in the kitchen. She’s petite and this baby looks like it’s taking over.
“I was completely shattered for the longest time, but the last couple of weeks I’ve felt great!” She reaches in the drawer and pulls out a cheese grater. “I can’t believe I’m only two weeks away from my due date.”
“You guys decide on a name yet? Tanner for a girl has a nice ring to it.”
She pauses to stroke her belly, ignoring my suggestion completely. “We’ll know it when we see her.” The twinkle in her eyes is like a Disney movie.
“You seem happy,” I state, unable to hide my smile. Her aura is infectious.
“I am, Tan.” Her chin wobbles and she scoffs like she’s being ridiculous. She resumes her activity. “So you and Belle?”
I roll my eyes. “Did Booker fill you in?”
She cuts her eyes to me. “Of course. You know you can’t hide anything in this family.”
“I wasn’t hiding it,” I exhale, fiddling with the label on the mustard. “I just thought I might be able to tell you myself for once. Silly me.”
She begins grating the cheese. “So that didn’t take long.” She shoots her prying eyes straight at me.
My brows lift. “Felt like it took ages. Last week was murder after I left here.”
“Well, can you blame us?”
I frown. “No, but I do prefer to come to things on my own.”
She ponders that thought. “That’s very true. Even when you struggled in school, you never really struggled. You were just on your own timeframe.”
“See? I get there eventually.”
“So you really like her? I mean, you must. This is the first girl you’ve ever brought around here that you weren’t sneaking in through the conservatory to shag.”
My jaw drops. “You knew about that? I thought I was being sly.”
She purses her lips. “Mission failed. The whole village of Chigwell knew about that.” She looks down again. “Belle must be different.”
“She’s certainly that.” I drag in a large breath and grab a bottle of tomato sauce and spin it on its side in front of me.
The mindless task helps clear my thoughts.
“She’s funny and wild and a bit crazy, which is kind of hot because I never know what to expect.
And she’s so fucking smart, Vi. She’s acing it at her job, and she’s so passionate about it that it makes me want to do more. I don’t know.” My voice trails off.
Vi props a hand on her hip. “What kind of more?”
I shrug. “Like, maybe start my own charity or something.”
I wince having now spoken the words aloud. Normally in my family, I’m the joke, the punchline, the comedic laugh charged and ready for when things get too serious. Now I’m putting something very serious into the universe for judgement. It makes my butthole pucker.
I look up to see Vi’s glossy eyes locked on mine. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I think so. There was a homeless bloke who helped me out the night I was caught on camera in Belle’s car, and I sort of repaid the favour to him. But it didn’t feel like enough to just give him a warm bed and a shower, so I ended up securing him a job with the grounds crew at Tower Park.”
“You did?” Vi’s jaw is slack.
“Yeah. It’s not a big deal. Dad lined up most of it. But the guy’s name is Sedgwick and he keeps talking about these friends of his on the street. I can’t help but feel like I can do more for them.”
I look up and Vi is staring at me in watery-eyed wonder. “You absolutely can do more, Tan. You can do anything you set your mind to! Belle inspired all of this?”
I shrug. “I just want to be good enough for her, you know?”
She reaches across the counter and grabs my hand. “You were good enough for her before all of this.” I half smile and she pulls back, resuming her cheese grating process. “I’m proud of you, Tanner.”
“Thanks,” I murmur, feeling like a child all over again because I still crave Vi’s approval.
We’ve all changed so much as we’ve grown up, yet we’re all still the same.
Still five siblings roughing out life together one story at a time.
Vi’s engaged and having a baby. Camden is in love with Indie.
I’m with Belle. Maybe Booker or Gareth will be next.
Even Dad seems to be in better spirits these days.
I’m still floored that he brought up Mum to me last week. He never would have done that before.
A random question on the tip of my tongue falls out. “How did you know you were in love with Hayden?”
Vi looks up at me with a grin and glances out the window to watch the action in the back garden for a moment before answering.
“I don’t know. I mean, it wasn’t love at first sight by any means.
We had an immediate connection I suppose.
But I don’t think it was until he told me all the dark corners of his past that I completely fell for him. ”
I frown, recalling the little bit Vi told me about Hayden attempting to take his own life after the death of his sister. Suicide is never the answer, but if something ever happened to Vi, I don’t know what I’d do with myself.
“Do you ever worry that he would try again?” My eyes slant with sympathy, but she immediately shakes her head.
“Not a drop.” She sets down the cheese grater and braces her hands on the worktop, inhaling and exhaling deeply. She closes her eyes, and I’m surprised when two tears slip out from beneath her lashes.
“Vi, I’m so sorry.” I make a move to get up, but she lifts her hand to stop me.
“It’s all right,” she says, smiling and clutching her belly.
“I cry about everything these days. It’s the hormones.
But to answer your question, no, I’m not worried about Hayden anymore.
This baby is tethering us together so much, our hearts are one right now.
Deep down, I know no matter what happens to us, we’ll get through it together. ”
I look down at my clasped hands because it’s hard to look at her face when she’s so open like this.
My chest burns with an ache at her blatant display of raw love and vulnerability.
My sister and Hayden have laid everything bare with each other.
They’ve played all their cards and they hold nothing back.
And rather than feeling exposed and susceptible to attack, they feel… safe.
I clear my throat, snapping myself out of my inner thoughts and find Vi staring at me with a curious look on her face.
I let out a laugh. “What?”
She shakes her head and swallows, shooting me a wobbly smile. “Nothing. I…erm…Why don’t you tell everyone that dinner is ready.”