Chapter 29 #2
“I don’t know if I have the emotional capacity to do this with you, Tanner. You saw my father, he’s a monster. He’s a self-serving arsehole. That’s what runs in my veins. I didn’t have a Vi or a Camden to lean on growing up. I grew up around that.” She points outside the booth.
“Well, so what?”
She sits up again, her shoulders sagged in defeat. “You’re going to hit a wall with me and you’re going to tire of climbing. You’ll want someone normal. Someone less,” she sighs. “Crazy.”
That bloody word again! I’m so fucking tired of her calling herself crazy.
“Woman!” I exclaim, grabbing her face in my hands and staring so deeply into her eyes I swear I can feel her soul touch mine. “You’re my kind of crazy, and I am crazy in love with you!”
FLASH.
Her gaze flicks back and forth between my eyes in utter disbelief. “How can you possibly feel that? We haven’t been together that long.”
“It’s been coming on for a while now.” I lighten my grip on her face and drag the backs of my fingers down her cheeks.
I pull a leg up between us and throw it over the bench so I’m straddling it now.
I move closer to her so she’s completely encased in my arms and legs.
I need her space to be my space and my breath to be her breath. I need to own her in this moment.
“I don’t care what you came from or who you didn’t have to lean on.
Lean on me. Love me. Because I fucking love you, Belle.
Your free spirit is what draws me to you.
Your soul matches mine.” I grab her hand and place it over my chest so she can feel my heart racing.
Her hands tremble and her breath is shaky as she inhales and exhales.
“Belle, on the pitch, my endurance isn’t matched. With you, I’m exhausted and I’m weak and I’m desperate to keep you. You keep me on my toes and I fucking love that about you.”
She rolls her eyes with a half-smile. “Of course you’d bring this all back to football.”
I smile back. “Football is all I know…but it comes in second to you,” I murmur, dragging in a deep breath and preparing to set everything else in my heart free. “I don’t just want to love you, Belle. I want to marry you.”
FLASH.
She blinks rapidly for what feels like ages. Her voice is a mere whisper when she asks, “What did you just say?”
The words didn’t surprise me like I thought they would. They didn’t scare me or bring me anxiety. They brought me peace.
I clear my throat. “I said I want to marry you.”
“I heard what you said. Stop shouting!” she exclaims, her crazy eyes glossing over.
I give her the side-eye and mumble, “I’m not shouting.”
Her watery gaze turns accusatory. “You know, Tanner, that’s a really fucking awful thing to say.
Those aren’t casual words! When you say those words to a woman, you should mean them because she’s going to remember them forever.
You just ruined them for me because you’re completely talking out of your arse right now! ”
FLASH.
“I’m not talking out of my arse, Belle,” I reply slowly, cupping the nape of her neck and pressing my forehead to hers.
“When you don’t know what to do, you should sit still.
I know exactly what I want to do…I want to marry you.
Soon. I don’t want to wait. I want to embrace our fucking crazy and do what feels right.
Love is an action. You either jump or fall. Jump with me, Belle. Marry me.”
“I can’t believe you.” Her eyes are wide and searching my face, her disbelief morphing into shock. “I really can’t believe you. You’re actually serious?”
“Completely serious.” I pause, licking my lips and pinning her gaze with mine. “Say yes.”
The motion of her cheekbones turning up into a smile forces tears to fall down her face. She covers her eyes and laughs maniacally before replying, “Yes.”
My jaw drops. “Yes?”
“Yes!”
FLASH.
She laughs as I crash into her like a wrecking ball, brushing my lips all over her face. “I love you,” I mutter. “God, I love you.”
She giggles and tugs on my hair so she can look me in the eyes and reply, “I love you, too.”
We step out of the photo booth to find Indie, Camden, Booker, and several of the Bethnal team members hovering around the display screen that shows the pictures in progress. I glance over and see a shot of Tanner and me kissing and wince.
“Shiiiiit,” I groan, realising they all witnessed the entire exchange that just happened.
Tanner takes in the screen and then waggles his brows at me. “That one’s a keeper. We could make porn I think.”
His sexy half-smirk makes me chortle as he continues pulling me by the hand past everyone, desperate to get us out of this fishbowl and up to our hotel room. Indie notices us and steps in front of me.
“Everything okay?” she asks.
Her concerned face tells me she has no idea what’s truly happened inside that crazy box. And perhaps that’s okay for now. Perhaps for now, Tanner and I live in this crazy moment and enjoy it. Bask in it and not let anyone else in quite yet.
Tanner and I look at each other and communicate without words.
“We’re great,” I answer. “Really great. I’m going to go talk to Dr. Miller quickly and see if I can leave. I’ll call you tomorrow?”
She nods and half smiles, unease tensing in her shoulders. Tanner begins dragging me away again, but I slip out from his grasp and move back to Indie for a hug.
A hug.
Indie and I aren’t huggers. I can probably count on one hand the number of times we’ve actually hugged and over half were because we were pissed.
She giggles at my unexpected attack and I pull back, smiling down on her. “I love you.”
She shoots me a confused sort of grin. “I love you, too.”
“Talk later!” I brush a kiss on her cheek and run to catch up with Tanner, like a newlywed couple rushing off to their honeymoon suite.
Because that’s exactly what it feels like we’re doing.
The London city lights cast an erotic glow into the Shangri-La hotel suite, bathing both Tanner and me in a luscious blue hue. My breath is heavy as I stand in front of the window, looking out at the River Thames and a city full of life.
But all I can focus on is the man behind me.
Need pools in my belly as I feel the heat of his bare chest skim along the back of my dress. I was only able to get his shirt off before he took over and demanded to let him undress me.
He draws the exposed zipper of my dress down my back, dragging his warm fingers along the wake of my flesh. He pauses to drop a soft kiss on my shoulder.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs against my flesh, his coarse beard sending goosebumps down my spine as my legs begin to tremble. He slides the fabric down my arms and I shimmy it off my rear, carefully stepping out of it in my nude heels.
“Fucking love these curves,” he husks into my ear as he splays his hands out on my hips and presses his trouser-covered erection against the small of my back. “I’ve loved them for a long time.”
He skims his grasp forward, mirroring each hand as they slide down my lower belly to cup my pussy. He massages me over the top of my knickers, eliciting a soft moan from somewhere deep inside of me.
“Do you remember when we first met?” he murmurs, his breath hot in my ear.
I swallow and frown, trying to tell my brain to think instead of feel. “At the hospital?”
I feel the huff of his smirk on my earlobe. “Yes, in the cafeteria. You had an apple stuck in your mouth because you were stunned by my bearded beauty.”
A lazy laugh shakes my shoulders. “You were a cocky sod then, and you’re a cocky sod now.”
He bites down on my lobe and growls, slipping one hand beneath the fabric of my knickers. When his rough finger swipes over my sensitive nub, I gasp, to which he responds, “I’m going to be your cocky sod forever.”
This notion brings a smile to my lips as his fingers roll over me and I ride his hand, my hips pumping against his touch. My expression is a pure, unadulterated happiness as I let the idea of his words truly sink in.
This is madness. A completely impulsive life choice that we made on a whim. All of it has the potential to turn into utter chaos. But it feels…right. I have no barriers with Tanner anymore. He’s erased every line between us and has embraced all of me…bare…open.
When I think about spending every day with him, it makes me giddy.
He found the part of me that wanted to be loved and appreciated.
He fucking gets me. I want to be his in every way because he accepts me for me and I accept him for him.
Every beautiful, pervy, funny, deep, charismatic part of him.
I know there’s a laundry list of things we have to discuss, but right now, I want to dream with this man.
My head falls back on his shoulder as he kneads my breast, all while continuing his noble work between my legs.
When he speaks this time, his voice is thick with arousal.
“People will say we’re crazy for wanting to get married, but I know you, Belle.
Those months that I avoided you, I always saw you. ”
I gasp as his thick fingers plunge inside of me, crooking and working at a spot that I feel in my throat. I reach back and grip the sides of his head, twining my fingers through his thick hair. “God, yes. I saw you, too,” I utter.
Our voyeuristic words and his relentless touch have me so close to my climax, I can hardly stay on my feet. I croak out the only thing my heart wants me to say. “Tanner, I…I love you.”
Suddenly, his hands leave me. He spins me on my heel and presses my back against the cold window. The look in his smouldering, silent expression speaks directly to my soul.
“I love you, Belle.”
He slams his desperate lips on mine, deftly unclasping my bra and flinging it away in the process. Our flesh against flesh feels perfect as he reaches down and grabs my legs, pulling me up so I’m wrapped around his hips.
He walks us over to the bed and falls down on top of me, kissing me and smashing his erection into the place I need him most. I begin fumbling with his trousers, but he pulls back, stopping my motion.
With a quirked brow, he crooks his fingers into the sides of my knickers and slides them off over my heels. He tucks them in his pocket.
I shake my head. “You’re lucky I brought another pair.”
“You’ll be lucky if I let you keep them,” he growls, and I giggle as he hurriedly kicks out of the rest of his clothes.
When he’s gloriously naked, he angles his head, eyeing every inch of me and trailing the tips of his fingers down the peak of my breast, across my belly, and between my legs. “I can’t believe you’ll be mine forever.”
I smile at the utter devotion in his gaze as he climbs on top of me and situates himself between my legs. His skin is like silk against the bareness of me as he consumes me. This man holds every part of my body and soul in his hands.
“We’ll never be bored,” I joke but am deathly serious.
Tanner Harris and I are like oil and water in so many ways. But if you shake us up really hard, we bubble and swirl and mix and mingle. We dance.
His face grows grave. “I’ll make you happy, Belle.”
My eyes sting at his words. They are so simple, but they hold so much promise. I cradle his face in my hands, smoothing my fingers over the furrow in his brow. “I know you will.”
I close my eyes when he pushes inside me, hitting a spot so deep and filling me so full, not just physically but emotionally.
He drops a soft kiss on each of my closed eyelids and whispers, “Eyes on me.”
My lashes flutter open as he stares into my eyes and makes love to me, repeating his promises the entire time.