Chapter 15 #4
I have to fight back a moan that’s traitorously clawing its way up my throat over the heated, turned-on look in his eyes. God, I want him underneath me so badly, but he’s not done.
“But you need to know that there’s a whole other side to me. A side that doesn’t submit. I’m not just one thing.”
My eyes flick back and forth between his, curiously trying to decipher him like a complicated puzzle. “So, what else are you?”
He licks his lips. “I’m my own fucking man out on the streets. That means I get pushy and assertive and I claim what I want, when I want. But behind closed doors with you in front of me, I fucking give myself to you because, bloody hell, it feels right. I can be two things. Understood?”
I fight back a gasp just as he releases me and puts the car in gear.
He looks over his shoulder to back out of the parking stall as confusion envelops my entire body.
Why is this so hot? Him all angry and demanding.
This isn’t what I want from Gareth. I want control.
I want power. I want to say when and where.
I’ve been thriving on it! Finding myself with it!
It has changed my life in such an elemental way.
But right now, the steely firmness in his gaze is making my body hum to life.
Instead of admitting all of that—instead of apologising for yelling at him and making a scene—I purse my lips and reply, “That’s fine, but you’re going to pay for it when we get back to your place.”
The corners of his eyes crinkle with a frown, anger still ticking in his jaw muscle as he says, “I’m rock fucking hard just thinking about it.”
Gareth is spread out naked on his bed. The blue lighting from his closet casts sexy shadows on his erection, which is already at full salute from the slow strip-tease I just tortured him with.
An orange flame glows brightly against my bare breasts as I hold a pillar candle inside a clear jar. “Are you scared?” I ask, my voice revealing how turned on I am by the anticipation on his face.
His eyes rake over my naked body. “Completely.”
“Do you want me to stop?” I ask, cautiously staring back at him.
His face is resolute. “Never.”
I kneel down next to him on the bed, tucking my feet underneath me.
I considered wearing sexy lingerie again, but this is something quite different for us, so I thought it would help him feel comfortable if I am naked, too.
Plus, the way he looks at me when I’m naked makes me feel like I can conquer the damn world.
I look up at him, brandishing the white candle in my hand. “The wax is vanilla scented because you said before you like how I smell so sweet all the time.”
The corner of his mouth lifts up. “I love how you smell.”
“Well, it’s vanilla,” I say, swirling the wax building up inside the jar. “I use vanilla essential oil as a perfume. I make it myself with almond oil and water because it has lots of health benefits. I read somewhere once that it has an aphrodisiac quality to it as well.”
Gareth’s abs flex with a low chuckle. “I was doomed from the beginning.” He looks up at me fondly, our earlier argument forgotten.
“Completely,” I reply with a smirk and hold the candle over his stomach.
“I want you to lay your hands out flat beside you and try not to move too much.” His muscles tighten and outline his beautiful six-pack as he braces himself for what’s about to come.
“I want you to really feel this. Not only on the surface, but inside yourself. Absorb it, then tell me what goes through your mind as you do.”
He nods, looking equally nervous and excited.
I tilt the jar and drip a few dots of wax on his broad furry pecs. He hisses a sharp intake of air from the initial shock of the heat, but he relaxes and closes his eyes as soon as the wax dries.
My fingers move to touch the pools of dried wax, relishing in the smooth texture over the coarseness of his hairy chest. “How does it feel?”
“Hot,” he states with a half-smile.
“Anything else?” I drizzle a little more. This time it runs down the valley between his pecs and over the ridges of his abs.
“It’s creating a burning inside of me.”
“Like what?”
“Like I was already hard when we started, and now I feel like I’m going to explode.”
“What would ease the pain?”
“You.” His answer is instant as he opens his eyes, his expression deathly serious.
I run my hands over the drops again, digging my nails into the design of the wax I’ve created. “Are you having any texture issues with this?”
He shakes his head. “Not with you.”
“What do you mean?”
He swallows and watches the jar tilt as I drip more wax on him. With a groan, he answers, “I trust you I guess. I don’t have any texture issues with you anymore because I always want what’s coming.”
“Even hot wax?” I tease, gazing down at my masterpiece.
When he doesn’t respond, I look up to see his eyes completely hooded. “If you could see what I’m seeing, you would understand.”
With a pleased smile, I throw one leg over his groin and position his tip between my folds. In one swift move, I pour more wax on his chest and sink down onto him, pulling him inside me completely.
“Jesus Christ, Tre,” Gareth moans, clearly on sensory overload. His eyes are pinched together in pain as I sit completely still on his cock, allowing my body to stretch and adjust to his girth.
“How do you feel now?” I ask, switching hands with the candle.
“Like I want to fuck you until you scream.” His stern eyes open to me.
“But I’m in charge,” I warn.
He swallows slowly and looks almost forlorn as he nods. “You’re in charge.”
“And tonight you tried to take that from me,” I state, making slow, small circles with my hips and trying not to get too carried away yet.
“It was for your own good,” he husks, fisting the sheets in his hands.
“I decide what’s good for me, Gareth,” I reply, then drip more wax on him.
He groans in pain and pleasure—a heady mix of confusing emotions.
“I make my own life decisions,” I add firmly.
He sighs heavily. “I’m sorry.”
His apology is surprising. I thought he’d fight me on this more. I thought I’d get to continue torturing him, and punishing him, and making him remember what we’re about. Instead, he’s submitting. He’s apologising, and it is really freaking sexy.
I blow out the candle and stretch over Gareth’s body to set it on the nightstand. My hair and breasts brush against his face, and his hands reach up and caress my back.
I pull back and smack his chest. “I didn’t say you can touch me.”
His lips form a thin line. “I’m sorry, Treacle.”
“Good,” I reply and sit upright on his cock. I press my hands to his chest and rake my nails through the wax coating on his trimmed chest hair. It’s messy, and flaky, and animalistic, and I find myself grinding down on him even harder. “Now, let me remind you why we do this.”
It took nearly an hour to scrape all the dried wax off of Gareth’s body, and it’s almost ten o’clock before we’re showered and back in his bed. Both still naked per my command, and both still gloriously satisfied. I watch Gareth’s muscled back as he stretches to flick off the bedside light.
He lies on his back next to me as I turn on my side to face him. “Did you like the wax?”
I can see his profile nodding in the darkness. “I like pretty much everything you do. Especially if you’re really into it.”
“Yeah?” I purse my lips to prevent the excited butterflies from escaping.
He nods and props a hand behind his head so his face is tilting down toward mine. “Although, I have the most fun when you mess up, which means that sex with you is always bloody fantastic.”
I can’t help the Cheshire Cat grin that spreads across my face. “That is so crazy to hear.”
“Why?” he asks, eyeing me with a frown. “Didn’t you have great sex with your ex? I mean, you married him. It couldn’t have been that bad, right?”
I’m grateful for the darkness because he can’t see the guilty look flashing over my face. “It was never like this,” I reply, giving only a smidge away. “It was pretty basic. Traditional. Maybe if I had tried something different, it would have saved our marriage.”
Silence stretches between us. I think Gareth is looking at me, but it’s too dark to know for sure. His voice is soft when he asks, “Do you wish you would have saved your marriage?”
I frown at the thought. A few months ago, I might have said yes because not having Sophia every other week was killing me slowly. The dark days weren’t worth leaving a loveless marriage. My response is different now, though. I have found a life outside of Sophia and I’m learning to appreciate it.
“No, I think divorce was meant to be for us. I married him for all the wrong reasons.”
“What do you mean?”
I exhale at his heavy question. I can’t exactly tell him I got pregnant.
And even though that was a large part of why we got married, it wasn’t the only reason.
“I was young when I met Callum. Fresh out of college and a bit of a dreamer. My friends and I were talking about opening up our own boutique, but it seemed impossible to actually accomplish. I didn’t really grow up watching dreams come true. ”
Gareth turns on his side to face me, his twinkling eyes smouldering on me when he asks, “How did you grow up?”
“We were broke,” I reply with a simple shrug of the shoulders.
“Our dad took off when my sisters and I were little, so our mom raised us on her own. She worked two jobs only to still be a month behind on the bills. Even groceries were hard to afford. I remember she brought home chicken strips that were left in the fryer at the restaurant where she worked nights. She only got a couple at a time, so she froze them until we had enough for a meal. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t easy.
Then I met Callum, and he was the opposite of poor.
He was the epitome of wealth and responsibility.
He was older than me, really established, really stable.
I remember he always wore custom tailored suits.
He had a good business, a good family. I met him at a bar, and he looked like he had it all together.
I was still trying to figure out how I was going to pay my student loans once I got out of the grace period. ”
I pause my retelling and think back to the child I was when I met Cal. I was a baby having a baby. Marrying him seemed like the only responsible decision.
Gareth continues watching me quietly, not feeling the need to fill the silence. Just instinctively knowing I need a moment.
Sighing heavily, I continue, “When he asked me to marry him, I saw myself being more responsible with someone like him. Less of a dreamer and more of a provider. I wanted stability. But we never really had that lustful attraction. We sort of skipped the fun stuff and went right to the grown-up stuff. Everything else was sort of forgotten about.”
“So you were attracted to his stability?” Gareth’s voice sounds disappointed, and I know what he’s thinking.
“I wasn’t a gold digger if that’s what you’re thinking—”
“That’s not what I’m thinking,” Gareth cuts me off, grabbing my arm urgently. “I’m just trying to figure out how a beautiful, strong woman like you could think she needed a man to make her feel stable.”
“I wasn’t strong back then,” I defend. “I was young, and weak, and scared. I wasn’t who I am when I’m with you.
You bring it out in me.” I sit up on my elbows, propping my head in my hands and looking down at him.
“Being with you like this is really helping me find a strength that I never gave myself the chance to find before. That’s why I got so mad earlier tonight when you were trying to interfere with my business.
I should be able to figure those things out for myself. ”
“I really was just trying to help,” he replies, his other hand coming out and playing with a damp strand of hair draped over my shoulder.
“I know, Gareth. I really do understand. And I’m not mad. I’m…grateful.” The word is hard to find, but it’s the right one for the moment. “You were just being a friend. I should have accepted that and not put you in the ex category.”
His eyes widen. “I don’t want to be anywhere near that wanker.”
This makes me giggle. “How do you know he’s a wanker?”
Gareth runs his thumb across my lower lip. “Because he didn’t see you the way I see you.”
My mouth falls open as tears prick the backs of my eyes. “How do you see me?” I ask, my voice thick with fear.
He sighs heavily like he’s been sitting on his answer for ages. “Like a fucking lioness. And any rightful king would be a fool not to bow to his queen.”