22. Grace
22
GRACE
I danced on the balls of my feet, punching and jabbing a bag at Duke’s gym, giving me that sense of power I wished I’d had when I was sixteen. Never again would I be that person who couldn’t defend herself. Even if I didn’t win a fight, I would feel content knowing I used every ounce of energy I had in me against my attacker.
Breathing heavily, perspiration covering my body, I continued my assault on the poor bag, inhaling the smell of leather and my own sweat mingling in the air.
The endorphins were making me feel like I had the world at my feet, that I could conquer anything. After the conversation with Brian two mornings ago, I could almost taste hope around the corner, within reach, like I could grab it if I could just close the door to my past.
He was trying to banish his past too. Before I left his hotel room, he’d explained why he was flying to Nashville. Why would anyone steal a folder containing someone else’s personal papers? Identity theft came to mind. Considering Sabine needed money for medical expenses, I guessed she was trying everything possible to get it.
I took a break, grabbed my water bottle, and hydrated. The gym was closed on a Sunday. Duke wanted one day off to spend quality time with his family. Since I had a key, I couldn’t pass up the chance to work out alone. Or, rather, with Knox standing at the door like a sentry holding down a fort. His posture was stiff, dark eyes straight ahead, hands clasped in front of him, and there was an aura about him that suggested that if I dared ditch him again, he would throw me in his trunk. His words, not mine.
I promised my brothers I wouldn’t rebel anymore. The whole idea of someone following me was tiring, and I continued to believe that it was all in my head. Still, I did feel better with Knox guarding me.
I downed the last of my water and checked my phone for messages. My heart skipped several beats when a text came in from Brian.
Brian: Just thinking of you. Want to have dinner?
Me: Are you home?
Brian: I was going to surprise you, but my flight was delayed, then the traffic to my condo was horrific. I’m ordering Chinese food, nothing fancy.
Me: I love Chinese food. Orange chicken and fried rice.
Brian: A woman after my own heart. How about seven at my place? It’s not the kind of dinner I want to treat you to, but I really want to see you.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
I didn’t care about anything fancy as long as I could spend time with him. I wanted to learn even more about him. I was sure there was more to Brian than the criminal in him. What did he like to do for fun? What was his favorite color? The best way to find out was in a quiet room, not a loud restaurant.
I glanced at the clock on the far wall. I had an hour and half, plenty of time to shower and make myself pretty.
Me: See you then. I added a heart emoji.
Brian: One more thing. Is Knox with you?
Me: Yes. Standing at the door to the gym.
Brian added a heart emoji as well then texted: I’ve given your name to the security desk. They should just send you up.
I collected my gym bag, told Knox where I was going, then ran to the shower. I had my own locker at the gym with all the hygiene essentials, and I always brought a set of clothes—a habit I’d developed since I’d been known to work out then head to Yvonne’s for my shift.
By the time I arrived at Brian’s condo, with a few minutes to spare, I was a nervous wreck—giddy, anxious, and hungry.
“You can wait in your car,” I told Knox.
The badass ex-military guy ignored me as he found a seat in the lobby. “I’ll be right here.”
“And if I don’t come down until tomorrow?” I asked.
“I’ll be right here.”
“A man of few words. Suit yourself.”
Every bodyguard I’d had over the years was the same—cold, hard, and scary. But they were all doing their jobs, although I hadn’t made it easy for them.
The security dude, Ray—forties, kind smile, wrinkles around his eyes—gave me the thumbs-up, and several minutes later, I was knocking on apartment door 1026.
No sooner had the door opened than Brian pulled me to him and kissed me before I could breathe, say hi, or even have a chance to really look at him.
But once his mouth was on mine, nothing mattered. The kiss was deep and hungry, and it stirred a need that no man before had drawn out of me.
He guided me against a wall as he closed and locked the door, barely missing a beat. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He buried his nose in my neck. “You smell amazing. Tell me to stop if you don’t want this, baby girl.”
I was relishing the feel and smell of him. His sandalwood cologne—amber, citrus, and spice—was intimate yet earthy. Wild yet gentle. Potent yet fragile. Every one of those contrasts matched him perfectly. Under his touch, the shadows of my past seemed to recede, letting me feel whole, cherished, like the woman I knew I could be. Just for tonight, I would let those dark memories sink into the depths where they couldn’t reach me, couldn’t taint this moment. I wanted to lose myself in the now, in him, for however long this fragile peace might last.
“I want this.” My words were barely audible after he had growled in that raspy voice I so loved. “But should we eat first?”
The smell of food drifted through his apartment. As if that was my cue, my stomach growled.
He chuckled. “I guess we should.”
“You heard my stomach?”
He took my hand. “Sit at the bar. I want to pamper you tonight.”
Goose bumps washed over me, like a cool waterfall on a hot summer day. “I like the sound of that.”
I was curious about his idea of pampering. Did it involve the bedroom? Despite how much I wanted him, part of me was scared out of my mind. I’d made out with Dominic. We’d done a few oral things, but never once since my sex-trafficking days had I truly had a man inside me. I’d been too raw and filled with pain early on, and as time passed, I could never give myself fully to another. I always promised myself that when I made love to a man, it would be one I had feelings for, and Brian was that man. I knew he would treat me with the utmost tenderness.
I shivered as I sat at the bar. The white plates were shiny, the silverware new, and the wineglasses wide and already filled with dark red wine.
“No bourbon for you?”
He dished out orange chicken and fried rice. “Not tonight.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink wine.”
He dimmed the lights, flashing his pretty eyes and heart-stopping grin in my direction, as if we were in a room with fifty women but he only had an interest in me.
“It’s not my go-to, but I do like wine every now and then. I know cabernets are your favorite.”
“Oh? What else do you know about me? And not what Duke told you.”
I tracked his movements, confident and cheeky, until he was seated beside me. “Duke has never told me that you like blueberry pie or your favorite color is peach.”
“You cheated. Fran told you that.”
He kissed the back of my hand. “Busted. However, she never told me that you have a beauty mark on the side of one of your breasts.”
I made a funny face at him. “You saw that in the hotel room.” Heat pinched my cheeks.
“I love it when you’re shy and wrinkle your nose.”
“So, tell me some of the things you like. Color? One place you would love to travel to? Anything. We know each other but really don’t.” I stuck my fork into a piece of chicken.
“My favorite color is burgundy. I would love to visit Ireland, where my ancestors are from. Sarah had been obsessed with the country when she became old enough to learn she was Irish.”
The mood darkened all of a sudden.
I laid a hand on his thigh, which felt powerful yet shaky. “I’m here for you.”
I began to think of my father and how, if not for my brothers, I could’ve ended up like Sarah. Duke had busted his ass at an early age to make money for food. Oh, my dad brought home a paycheck and paid the mortgage, but then he drank the rest away.
Brian chewed on his food.
“Did you find Sabine?” I asked.
Brian wanted to retrieve his folder because it contained his personal papers, but he also really wanted the only picture he had of Sarah.
I didn’t want to hate Sabine. For all we knew, she could be hurt in a hospital, though Brian assured me that was unlikely, based on his information from a detective in Nashville.
“I didn’t,” he said. “But I don’t want to talk about that. My apologies for souring the mood.”
“You didn’t. We’re talking and learning more about each other.” I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Now, what would you like to do after we eat?”
In a flash, he had a mischievous grin, cute yet sexy. “If you’re up for it, I have something in mind.”
“Intriguing. What is it?”
“You’ll see,” he said.
The curiosity was killing me. I’d never been good at waiting until Christmas to open gifts from my brothers, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. Whatever Brian was up to, I could wait.
At this moment, I was basking in a fleeting sense of hope and clinging to the elusive feeling of happiness that had evaded me for so long.