Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
MAIA
Iwas at war with myself.
The river rushed below us, wild after last night’s rainstorm.
The control freak in me, the person who planned her life to the exact letter to limit the number of bad things that could happen, wanted to run back off the platform, through the trail in the woods, and straight back to Baird’s car.
But that other person, the girl who bravely hunted down her real father and swung her arse out there to be hurt in the hopes of changing her life, she still existed in me.
For better or worse, the chaos of this campaign being forced upon me had brought her to life again.
Falling for someone like Baird who was a red flag on paper but a row of green flags with smiley face emojis in real life …
it had proved to that girl that she deserved more of a say.
That girl wanted to throw herself off a platform to experience the thrill of free fall.
“Maia.”
I looked at Baird as the instructor did his final safety checks on the harness strapped around my waist, under my bottom, and around my thighs.
“You don’t have to do this. Or I could go first.”
I’d won (or lost, depending on your perspective) the coin toss to go first on our bungee jumping date.
Did I mention I had a camera strapped to my helmet? There were camera people on either side of the river and one right behind us on the platform, filming everything for the campaign.
Who was it going to be?
I stared up into Baird’s soulful dark eyes, feeling humbled and honored that I knew him better than most people ever could hope to.
Was the Maia who needed to be in control of everything going to take the reins and bail? Or did the girl who used to crave adventure get another chance to prove that the most terrifying things in life often provided the most rewards?
I leaned up on my tiptoes to press a quick kiss to Baird’s lips. When I pulled back, I whispered, “I really wish Tom Petty’s ‘Free Fallin’’ was playing right now.”
He grinned. “A girl who knows Tom Petty is a girl after my own heart.”
Laughing, I pulled back and nodded at the instructor.
We’d spent the morning here for Pennington’s, and the instructors had gone over all the safety talks with us.
The air was crisp, and my senses were filled with the battling scents of the woodlands.
Flora and fauna attempted to overpower the petrichor—that heightened, earthy smell after the rain. It was enervating.
It was time.
To just … let go.
My belly was alive with a million butterflies, but at the instructor’s go-ahead, I dove! I dove like I was diving into a pool. I was vaguely aware over the sound of the wind in my ears of Baird’s whooping shouts of support from above.
It felt like everything inside me was forced toward my throat with gravity. I didn’t scream, though. Upon the rapid descent, the wind whipped against my face and the river with its foamy rapids tunneled toward me.
Suddenly, I was halted and hauled upward, my stomach swooping, my heart lurching, with the abrupt jerk on the harness. I accelerated downward again and then back up several times until the motion caused this weird surge of laughter I couldn’t explain.
Finally, I was hanging above the river, all the blood rushing to my head in this pressure that wasn’t entirely comfortable. Yet as I looked around at the woodlands as I swayed back and forth over the river, I couldn’t help but let out a whoop of joy.
I did it!
I heard Baird’s shouts and applause from above and laughed until tears of relief burned my eyes.
It had been a free fall in bigger ways than physical.
Baird was like an impatient puppy as they winched me back up to the platform. He was practically popping up and down on his heels, desperate to get to me, grinning so hard it was a wonder his face didn’t break.
Utter joy filled me as I grinned back at him, unbuckling my helmet with the camera and handing it off to Gail, my crew assistant.
As soon as I was free from the harness, I squealed with excitement and threw myself at Baird like a monkey.
He laughed, catching me as I wound my arms and legs around him.
I cut off his amusement with a kiss that was probably a wee bit too risqué for Pennington’s, but at that point, I’d totally forgotten about the cameras.
Baird stroked my back as he kissed me.
I finally let him up for air. “I did it!”
“I saw that, beautiful.”
“It was amazing!”
“Aye? Now I can’t wait.” He stared into my eyes, his so full of tenderness and affection that I could feel the words, those three words, bubbling toward my tongue.
“We’re ready for you now, Baird.” The instructor spoke before I could.
Reality returned, and I realized what a giant mistake it would be admitting my feelings to Baird in such a public way. My truth wasn’t for anyone else. Only him.
I dropped my legs from around his waist and lowered to my feet.
“You’ve got a lot of energy after that.” Baird eyed me suggestively.
“Not going to lie, the pressure on the head is a little …” I shook my hand at him, grimacing. “But otherwise, aye, I have lots of energy. To expel. Lots and lots and lots.”
He bent his head to whisper in my ear, “I’ll collect later on that surplus.”
Chuckling, I nodded and then watched with anticipation as they buckled him into a harness and Gail handed him his camera helmet. My legs were still shaking with fear and adrenaline and joy, and I had to hold on to the platform railing.
“Ready.” The instructor patted Baird on the back.
He winked cockily at me and dove off with no hesitation, yelling, “Oi! Oi!”
Of course he did.
I collapsed into giggles as his trademark greeting was cut off by the wind and I watched his large body jerk back upward.
Though it was hard to hear over the river, I was pretty certain he didn’t yell or whoop, which was surprising because Baird was an extrovert who let his experiences all hang out. When they pulled him back up, his face was flushed, and he shook his head. “Naw. No thanks. Never again.”
“No?” I gaped, taken aback. Baird usually enjoyed his thrill-seeking exploits.
“It was the tug back upward and down like a yo-yo. Didnae like that.” His accent thickened. “Didnae like it at all. Skydiving. There’s none of that in skydiving. We shoulda done that.”
His fingers trembled as he unbuckled the helmet to hand it off to Gail and my heart melted.
I wanted to wrap him in my arms and hold him until he stopped shaking.
He was such a big guy that it was disconcerting to see him like that.
Just like it was when I visited him after his injury.
I’d hated every second of seeing him felled, even if it was temporary.
Hell, I was so in denial even then about my feelings for him.
“We can go skydiving,” I offered, trying to distract him.
“Aye?”
“I mean, not today. But definitely, yes.”
Freed from the harness, Baird stumbled a bit, and I hurried to him, worry chilling my happiness as his face turned chalk white. “Baird?”
His eyes looked a bit glazed and he swayed, his breathing sounding tight.
I whipped my head toward the camera. “Off. Camera off. Now.”
Thankfully, the cameraman lowered the equipment as I turned back to Baird. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
He shook his head, his grip on me tightening.
I led him quickly off the platform, frightened by how much he seemed to need to lean on me. Fury ripped through me as a camerawoman stepped into our path. “Switch that off! You do not have permission to film this.” I caught sight of Bruno. “No filming!”
Bruno glanced between us. “What happened? Does he need help?”
“No, My, no.” He shook against me. “Just need … privacy.” He gritted out.
“We need to be alone.” I shooed them away, glad Pennington’s had paid to close the bungee jumping attraction for the morning so there was no one else around but staff.
Finally, Baird seemed to relax as we reached the end of the trail that led to the car park. He slumped to his arse so suddenly, I thought he was passing out.
“Baird.” I dropped to my knees.
He waved a weary hand at me in reassurance.
“What happened?” I smoothed a hand over his bent knee.
“I … I had the thought a few seconds after I jumped. When you mentioned the pressure on your head, it hit me that maybe this was a bad idea for me.”
Oh God. Oh heck. Why didn’t I think about that? His injury. I squeezed his knee.
“It’s probably fine.” His voice was rough. “But once I felt the pressure, I started to panic down there and every time I yo-yoed, the pressure felt worse. By the time I got back up …”
“The lightheadedness is anxiety,” I realized.
Baird looked embarrassed but nodded. “Aye.”
“You know that’s totally normal, right?” I pushed against him, gently turning his face to meet my eyes.
“Baird, you suffered a traumatic head injury. You nearly died. The fracture might have healed, but the mental fractures from a near-death experience … those take much longer to heal. There’s no shame in that. ”
The muscle in his jaw clenched. “I hate that I can’t control when I’m going to feel this way about something. It just fucking happens. This time on film.”
“I will personally ruin any arsehole here if they ever publish that footage, Bear.”
His lips twitched. “Aye? Are you my protector now?”
There were those words again, desperate but terrified to squeak out of me. “Aren’t you mine?”
Baird’s expression turned tender. “Always.”
“I’m always yours too.” I leaned in and brushed my lips over his.
When I pulled back, his countenance had turned somewhat intense. “Maia, I—”
“Everything all right?”
Annoyance sliced through me, but I gritted my teeth against it and turned to see the instructor standing a few feet from us, a worried look in his eyes.
“Do you have water? And maybe a piece of chocolate or something?”
“I’m all right,” Baird insisted.
“You will be,” I promised.
Bruno joined us as the instructor darted off to retrieve the water and chocolate.
“I’ve had the camera crew delete the last few minutes of footage,” he assured us as he approached. “Is everything okay?”
“Baird didn’t eat before we left for the shoot,” I lied, covering for him. “His blood sugar dropped with the adrenaline.” I had no idea what I was talking about, but I hoped it sounded plausible.
Bruno seemed to think so and slumped with relief. “Oh, I’m glad to hear it’s nothing serious. We have what we need if you two want to go home.”
“Thanks, Bruno, I appreciate it.” The director had been much nicer to us ever since he got a scolding from Hilary Erstwhile about the footage permissions.
As Bruno departed, I helped Baird to his feet.
Without a word, he hauled me into his arms for a spectacular bear hug. He held me, his face buried in my hair, breathing me in.
My return embrace was tight, almost pulling, like if I could, I would have soaked up every bit of PTSD his injury had left him with.
No words were needed.
We just held each other.
Yet I fell faster and deeper in that moment than I had throwing myself over that river.