Chapter 15 #2
I rolled my eyes and let out an aggrieved huff. “So you’re telling me that regular lycans don’t get extra frisky around the full moon?”
“What? No, I’m not saying that at all,” he scoffed. “Total thing. Happens literally all the time, but you take your chances. Not that I can blame you for falling for it. I think it might be a little worse for us.”
“Isn’t that the truth.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and wondered how the hell I would ever survive gossipy werewolves. My entire life had been a long string of very secret, very private interludes, and now my actions were apparently up for public consumption.
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. I know better than anyone how much the sex helps. Stars know if I had someone to help me burn off the extra moonlight out here, I’d still be in the woods.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at Tommy’s brutal honesty. “Is that so? And do you have someone waiting to help with that when you get back?”
“Maybe.” A downright wolfish grin accompanied his coy response.
“Tommy, that’s great.” Admittedly, I was a little surprised that he’d found someone so soon, given how torn up he’d been about Tina’s murder, but that didn’t make me any less happy for him. “When did you meet her?”
At my question, he nearly choked on his tongue and mumbled a response that I couldn’t decipher even with were hearing.
“What was that?”
“Him. I met him a few months ago.” His gaze focused on the ground with enough intensity he could have bored a hole through solid rock.
I blinked, a little ashamed of my assumption. “Oh. I wasn’t aware you were… versatile.”
Tommy’s face pinked in the moonlight still streaming down from the heavens. “Yeah, well, that makes pretty much all of us.”
“I’m not judging you, Tommy.” I placed what I hoped was a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “So…”
He chanced a look at me. “So what?”
“So, how did you meet?”
“Funny story, actually. I started seeing a therapist, well, a chakra therapist to be exact. To help with being moonstruck, you know?”
I nodded. It was a total toss-up though whose idea it could have been, Dr. Lyons’ or Kale’s. Elijah had mentioned Kale was forcing all kinds of weird remedies down Tommy’s throat, though therapy seemed the least abstract.
“Anyway, Jason has really helped. He’s part of the reason I went to see you and why I don’t have to take the sedatives anymore.”
That caught my attention. “Wait, Jason, as in Jason Mack? Joel’s cousin?”
“Yeah… I wasn’t expecting to become friends, and I certainly wasn’t expecting to be attracted to him. But he’s nice. Sweet. And damn, he’s cute.”
I couldn’t have held back my laughter if I’d tried. Memories of my very brief meeting with the genuine and admittedly attractive young man drifted to the surface. “I know.”
“And those hands are like moonforsaken magic.” Tommy’s eyes widened as he stared down at his own hands.
I laughed harder recalling the skill those fingers possessed. Not to mention how upset I’d been when I realized they didn’t belong to Elijah. “I know.”
Tommy snapped his gaze to mine. “Maybe don’t tell Red that he touched you, though? I’d like my boyfriend to keep his magical hands.”
I smiled at Tommy and squeezed his shoulder as his brother Kale walked around the truck Elijah had driven us here in. “I haven’t yet, and honestly, I don’t see a need to bring it up.”
Tommy relaxed beneath my hand and offered me an amiable smile in return.
“So, is your boyfriend eagerly awaiting your return?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
Tommy’s resulting grin was nothing short of feral.
“You really like him, don’t you?”
His eager grin dissolved into something more modest and almost bashful, much more like the Tommy I’d gotten to know while he’d been in the Adler Springs jail.
“Yeah, I really do.” He kicked at a loose pile of stones and gave me a furtive look.
“Do you think… could I maybe ask you a personal question?”
“I can’t guarantee I’ll answer.”
“I get that, but I’d like to ask just the same?” A part of me burned with curiosity about what he could be so nervous about asking, given our earlier topic, but another was a little concerned at the sudden shift.
“Ask away.”
“Um…” He glanced over my shoulder where Eric was now pointing rather aggressively at Elijah, then his gaze skittered over to where his brother was not so subtly trying to eavesdrop. He ducked his head, and I had to lean close in order to hear the quiet words. “How did you know you’d bond?”
I straightened back up in shock that apparently registered on my face, going by how Tommy’s had turned a rather impressive shade of red. “I… well… Wouldn't it be better to ask Elijah about this? I’ll go get him.”
Tommy’s hand shot out to grab my arm, then he seemed to realize what he’d done, and dropped his hold. “No. If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather talk to you about it.”
“I’m not sure what you want me to say. What is it you really want to know?”
His face twisted as he struggled to find the right words. “I guess, like how you know without…you know.”
I arched an eyebrow at the startling contrast between talking about having sex in the middle of the woods surrounded by fifty of your closest packmates and his inability to actually voice the words “unprotected sex”.
“Tommy, I was already in love with Elijah before I turned. He would be more familiar with the signs than I am. Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to ask him? ”
“No, it’s fine. Forget I asked. It was stupid anyway.”
Guilt curled in my gut at seeing Tommy withdraw. “It’s not stupid. If you don’t want to involve him, fine. I’ll tell you what I know, though I don’t expect it will be much.”
Tommy blinked back at me, hope shining clearly in his eyes.
“What I gather from what he’s said in the past and my very brief few days as a cognizant lycan who hadn’t completed the bond, there’s this overwhelming urge—a need—to be with that person.
Consciously or not, you seek them out, justifying it by any means necessary.
Truthfully, the only time Elijah really talked about the symptoms, he was kind of pissed about the whole situation, so his recounting might have been a little colored.
Tommy, do you think you might be trying to bond with Jason? ”
“I… I don’t know.” He hung his head again and fell silent.
“There’s something else. What is it?”
“Remember how I said you were the only one who asked if I’d bonded with Tina?”
“Yes.”
“I told you I wasn’t, and I feel terrible for saying this after everything that happened, but I’m starting to wonder if I loved her as much as I thought I did. Because I…”
My hand returned to his shoulder, and I squeezed gently. “Because you love Jason more.”
His shoulders slumped. “Yeah.”
“Tommy, you don’t need the bond for that.
There are still countless lycans out there who haven’t and may never find their bonded mate.
Don’t let your past stop you from loving in the now.
” I chanced a glance over my shoulder at the man who’d taught me that, then returned my focus to Tommy.
“If you love Jason, you should tell him. You and I both know our time in this world is far from guaranteed.”
He gave a sharp nod, then surprised me by wrapping his arms around me in a bone-cracking hug. I didn’t hesitate to return the embrace just as fiercely. Somehow, Tommy had forgiven the awful things I’d done to him, and I’d do everything in my power to help him live his life to the fullest.
He pulled back just as abruptly and wiped quickly at his face. “Thanks. I’m glad that you’re you again, but I kind of miss talking to you all the time.”
“I think I can help with that.” Before he could react, I snagged his wrist and placed mine against his embedded bio-ware. “This is my personal line. Use it any time you want or need to talk,” I explained as the data transferred.
Tommy rubbed his wrist once it was free, gave me another quick hug, then bounded off to retrieve his brother.
I looked back at Elijah and wondered what on earth Eric could have said to him to make his face look like he’d swallowed a lemon sideways.
Elijah
I glanced to where Tommy and Josh were chatting and felt a familiar swell of pride at how well Josh was doing.
It seemed odd that Kale wasn’t as involved in the conversation, but judging by the death glares he kept shooting his brother, it seemed like something else might be going on beyond him simply not being interested in the topic.
“Please tell me you see what’s going on,” Eric said.
I shifted my focus back to my best friend and the sour pull of his mouth. “I see the love of my life talking with another lycan that he assumed would hate him for all eternity after successfully running with four other wolves.”
Eric’s arms fell out of their stubborn cross. “You know what I mean. Don’t stand there and tell me you don’t see it.”
It was my turn to sigh as I leaned against a tree and crossed my arms. “I see it.”
“And? Did you know about this?”
“I had my suspicions. Tonight just confirmed them.”
“Full moon at midnight, Red. You could have fucking warned me.” He threw his hands up and walked a short distance away before turning back and advancing on me. “Have you at least talked to him about it?”
I dropped my gaze to the forest floor and rolled my shoulders.
“You haven’t told him?” he asked in disbelief.
“Would you keep your voice down?”
“Seriously? Haven’t you learned your lesson yet about keeping things from him? He’s your mate, and he deserves honesty from you.” Eric’s words weren’t intended to wound, but they cut me nonetheless.
“This isn’t like that.”
Eric recrossed his arms and scowled. “Please enlighten me on how this is in any way different from all the other monumental things you’ve failed to tell him about.”
I ran a hand through my hair and hated how right he sounded. In the past, I’d always been able to rely on Eric to call me on my shit, but right now I was less than grateful for that ability. “You don’t understand. His life is complicated enough. He doesn’t need this on top of that.”
Eric shook his head, his face a mask of incredulous disbelief. “You’re smarter than this. You can’t keep sticking your head in the sand. Ignoring it won’t make it go away.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I just…” I didn’t have a good way to end the argument, because there wasn’t one. Eric was right. Yet again, I was keeping important information from Josh.
“Conrad will never let him join the pack.”
“I know.”
“Especially once he figures out—”
“I know.”
Eric held up his hands in mock defeat. “You also know how to fix all of this.”
I cut my eyes at him in an angry glare that, unsurprisingly, was joined by a warning growl. “Let it go, Eric.”
Completely unaffected by the threat, he stabbed a finger at my chest. “You can’t keep hiding from this.” He glanced over at where Tommy and Josh were now laughing and dropped his hand. “Neither of you can.”
I slammed my head into the trunk at my back as he walked away to gather his charges.
I didn’t want Eric to be right, but wanting something rarely made it true.
My gaze shifted to Josh saying goodbye to Tommy and Kale.
Everything about his body language interacting with the two reaffirmed Eric’s argument.
Eventually, I’d have to ruin Josh’s life in a whole other way, and I was running out of time to do it.