Chapter 33
Elijah
Emotions were exhausting, and I didn't have Mein Zeke.
I could only imagine how drained Josh must be after being dropped in the deep end of his repressed memories.
Though now I worried what other memories might surface.
I'd convinced him to lie down with me on the monstrosity of a bed that still failed to dominate the expansive room.
The impromptu nap hadn't lasted long, but I still felt partially rejuvenated.
It would probably take a month of sleep for me to properly recover, and I didn't want to speculate how much time Josh might need.
Though the stuffed wolf—Jasper—he was currently curled around seemed to be helping on that front more than I could have hoped.
I watched his peaceful face as his eyes fluttered open.
He smiled softly and scooted closer so he could place a hand on my chest and trail his fingers through the hair there.
I automatically wrapped my arm around his waist. The tender kiss he placed on my shoulder melted me in ways I wouldn’t have believed a year ago.
I squeezed him a little tighter. Eighteen months didn’t sound all that long in the grand scheme of things.
I’d had classes that lasted longer. But in that short amount of time, I’d completely given my heart over to the man at my side and found a level of love I’d once thought a fairytale.
That same man had also nearly died seven times in that same span of time.
My sigh must have been more prominent than I thought, because Josh angled his body to look down at me.
“What’s on your mind, baby?”
I traced the delicate curve of his face. “Please tell me you’re done trying to get yourself killed.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “I don’t try to get myself killed.”
“You know what I mean. I could do with you having fewer brushes with death. Or better yet, none.”
His eyes darkened, and he likely would have pulled away if my hold on him hadn’t already been so tight. “I have a dangerous job, Elijah. That’s not a promise I can make.”
I cupped the back of his neck and gently pulled him down to rest against me again. “I know. Doesn’t make it any easier.”
His blunt nails scraped along my chest. “If it’s any consolation, I wish I could.” He pulled back slightly, and I let him go. When he looked down at me, a mixture of love and determination filled his forest-green eyes. “I love you and I don’t ever want to lose you.”
“You won’t, moonbeam.”
The sweet kiss he bestowed upon me was filled with longing and tasted a whole hell of a lot like a promise.
I abandoned my hold on his waist to glide my hand up the smooth plane of his back in an attempt to entice him to kiss deeper.
I thought I was well on my way to success when he suddenly pulled back.
“What?” I asked, completely thrown by the radiant smile dominating his face.
“You gave me something, now I want to give you something.”
A laugh filled my chest and tumbled out. “You’ve given me plenty, moonbeam, but I wouldn’t mind a taste of that sweet ass.”
He swatted my hand away. “Not sex… well, yes, sex, but that’s a given. Seriously, are you secretly a thirteen-year-old boy?”
I laughed again, and this time succeeded in yanking him back down. I kept the upper hand for all of point-five seconds before he slipped free. He slid off the massive bed with a whisper of sheets, his feet landing with a soft thud on the carpet-covered floor.
“How many other people have you had sex with here?” The question was free before I had a chance to consider how it might sound.
Rather than get upset, Josh merely snorted and retrieved the stuffed wolf to place it on the fireplace mantle.
“None. You’re the only person I’ve ever brought here.
” That had to be the most heartbreaking and heartwarming thing I’d ever heard.
I was still staring off into space about it when he spoke again.
“Get dressed already. I want to show you something.” Impatience and, oddly enough, joy radiated from him.
He was practically bouncing in place with it.
I couldn’t help but be amazed. Josh, joyful in this house, and I had done that.
My pants landed with a sharp smack against my chest, and Josh let out a laugh.
It was then that I realized he’d already pulled on a pair of lounge pants.
I rolled my eyes and obnoxiously tugged on my pants while I was still on the bed.
Joke was on me though, because then I had to figure out how to get out of the sea of sheets with the fabric of my trousers getting stuck on everything.
Josh was openly laughing by the time I finally managed to extricate myself.
“Laugh it up, cowboy.”
His eyes danced with merriment. “Not a cowboy.” He stepped forward and pressed his whole body against mine, including his incredibly plush mouth. Just as quickly, he stepped back, having stolen his kiss and apparently my hand.
I looked down at where he’d intertwined our fingers and couldn’t imagine ever being happier. He gave the captive appendage a gentle tug, and I brought my gaze back to his bright eyes.
“Come on, baby. You won’t regret it.”
I smiled back at him. There were several things in my life I regretted, recent events top among them, but Josh was certainly not one of them. “Lead the way, moonbeam.”
Josh
I bit my lip as I led Elijah through the house.
Occasionally, I glanced back to see if he was freaking out or ready to bolt, but every time he met my look with a small smile curling the corners of his mouth.
I debated asking him what he was thinking, but also wasn’t one hundred percent sure I wanted to know.
Just like I was almost positive I didn’t want to know what else he’d seen on his foray through my memories.
Clearly, it hadn’t all been bad, as the discovery of the plush wolf and triggered memories of my father were testament, but I knew for a fact most of it had been.
The fact that Elijah didn’t volunteer insight just confirmed that he’d seen some of the worst.
I shook off the troubling thoughts and pushed onward.
The room I wanted was on the other side of the house.
While the hallways and rooms were still overwhelmingly empty and oppressive, they were a little less daunting with Elijah by my side.
Finally, we reached our destination, and I paused before a set of deep cherry wood doors with elegant handles.
I glanced at him again and noticed that he seemed confused.
“What is it?”
“I don’t remember these doors.” He winced as if suddenly realizing what he’d said.
I simply frowned, not understanding in the least what he was talking about. How could he remember doors he’d never seen? I shook my head and cracked a smile at him. “Ready?”
“Josh, you’re being really suspicious. What’s this all...” I pushed open the doors, and his words trailed off.
I watched as his face lit up with awe, and a different light burned inside of me. “What do you think?” I walked us a couple of steps inside so he could get the full effect.
His eyes continued to widen until I feared they would pop out of his head. “Sweet mother of the moon, this is incredible. Are they… are they real?”
The wonder threading through his voice was better than any gift I could imagine. “Every last one of them.”
“I’ve never seen so many in one place.”
“Elijah Bennett, welcome to the Harker Family Library. Your library.” He took a step back and wobbled. I quickly wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. He rested his weight comfortably against me, and I placed a light kiss just above his ear. “Do you really like it?”
“It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.” Suddenly, he stiffened in my arms. “Please tell me not all of these books are about killing werewolves.”
Laughter bubbled out of me.
“I’m serious,” he mumbled.
“No, baby. Those are downstairs.”
“Oh. Good. We can burn those later.”
I laughed again, feeling lighter than I’d ever felt in my life, and released him. “Nothing but classics up here, baby. A good portion of them are actually first editions.”
Elijah swayed, and I immediately feared that maybe I should have left that detail out. He steadied himself quickly enough and looked at me. “You’re a wonder, Joshua Hart.”
I shrugged. It wasn’t as if I’d personally accumulated this wealth of literature, though the newest acquisition of nineteenth-century original prints might have been at my behest.
“No. Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Brush this off like it’s no big deal.” He gestured to the massive room with its shelves upon shelves of aged paper bound in a fashion long abandoned. “This has to be the most incredible thing anyone has ever done for me.”
“You did say you would never say no to books.”
Elijah
I smiled at this incredible man who hadn’t been satisfied with giving me one world, so he’d given me hundreds—thousands.
“Come here.” I held my hand out to him. The moment he took it, I pulled him in close so that his body lined up perfectly with mine.
I nuzzled into his neck, where I dropped a tender kiss and drank in his delicious scent.
“Is this your way of saying you like it?”
“I love it. And I love you.”
He threaded his long fingers through my hair. “I love you too,” he whispered, his soft lips lightly brushing the shell of my ear.
"We are going to have the most amazing life here," I said, meaning it down to my marrow.
He leaned back and smiled softly at me. I saw the curiosity spark in his eyes the moment before he asked, "What did you mean when you said you hadn't seen the library doors before? You seemed genuinely surprised."
I fought the temptation to give in to the knee-jerk response to dismiss the comment offhand. We said, no more secrets. "Do you remember when I told you about what I saw while I was in your mind?"
His brow furrowed as he thought. "Doors? You said my memories were kept behind doors," he repeated more confidently.