Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
HASH
It’s dark by the time my brothers and I rode into Hickory Hills and checked into its roadside motel, Ramblers’ Rest. Prez’s buddy already had rooms reserved for us. The kicker is we have to double up, and I’m stuck with Cyrus’ stupid ass.
“I swear to God if we don’t have two beds, you’re sleeping on the floor,” I grumble as I grab my saddlebag off my bike and head in with Cyrus trailing behind.
“I don’t see why I would get the floor. I’m not the one who doesn’t mind a little cuddling,” Cyrus retorts.
“I’m not fucking cuddling your ass. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I swear to God it will be a miracle if I make it through this weekend without punching him in the face. Maybe I’ll take a page out of Prez’s book and shoot his dick off. I’m sure the old ladies in this town would love that.
“We’ll see who crosses over onto my side during the night,” Cyrus says as he unlocks our door.
“Get the fuck in the room,” I growl as I shove him inside, sighing in relief as I see the room has two double beds.
“Damn. I was looking forward to cuddling with you too.” Cyrus smirks.
I know he’s fucking with me, but it still doesn’t stop the urge to punch him in the face.
“Keep going, and I’m going to be the one to shoot your dick off,” I tell him as I throw my duffle bag down on the floor and head into the bathroom to rinse off before crashing.
The next morning, we all meet outside the motel.
“The girls are going to head over to the festival. Owen said they have a bunch of vendors and shit, and Evan wants to shop,” Prez tells us.
“Sutton too.” Ink hands her a wad of cash.
I stare at the cash, thinking about how I would do the same thing if Aisling were here.
“Let’s head over and find Jace to see who your partner is, Hash,” Prez says as Ink and Cyrus snicker.
I just hope it’s a chick, like Prez said. If it’s a dude, I’m backing out.
As we make our way through the crowds of people, I don’t miss the looks we’re getting from older women of this town.
Most are judging, but some are checking us out.
I’ve made sure to make eye contact with every single one of them, giving them a wink when I catch them staring.
Some turn away, their cheeks full of heat, and some return the wink, owning it. Those are my favorites.
“Cain,” Jace greets with a smile as he pulls Prez in for a one-armed hug.
“Jace. It’s been too long, brother.” Prez slaps him on the back before taking a step back and motioning me forward. “This is Hash, the man helping you with your demo.”
“Nice to meet ya.” I shake his outstretched hand. “Just tell me where you want me.”
“Let’s go find Emily. She’s the one you’ll be partnered up with for a demo. This is Owen.” Jace points his thumb at the man standing next to him. He looks like a fucking cop. “He’s with the Georgia State Police and will be helping with the class.”
Fucking great.
I guess I can’t shoot Cyrus in the dick while I’m here.
My eyes slide to Prez, who has his eyes locked on Owen, his lips tipping up slightly.
“How have you been, HD?” Prez brings Owen in for a hug.
“Man, you’re never going to let the Hot Dog road name go, are you? I’m doing well, can’t complain.” Owen laughs before turning to me. “Let’s go find your partner.”
“Lead the way.” I keep my smirk easy, but I’m not letting my guard down around these guys. I don’t know them. Especially with one of them being a cop.
“You failed to mention that, Prez,” I accuse lowly so only we can hear as we follow them through the mass of people. It would have been nice to know we were going to be around a fucking cop right after we had church about placing a hit on a member of another club.
“Watch it, brother,” Prez warns. “I forgot about it. Owen’s cool. Don’t embarrass me, and we’ll be good.”
“I’m not the one you should worry about embarrassing you.” My eyes slide to Cyrus.
“I heard that!” Cyrus glares. “Fuck both of you.”
Prez slaps Cyrus on the back of the head. “Stop causing a scene.”
Cyrus rubs the back of his head. “They started it.”
“And I’m ending it,” Prez declares. “So shut the fuck up.”
“Oh, just the girl I want!” I hear Owen, the fucking cop, say as we hang back from the tent a woman and a man are setting up under.
This must be my partner.
Looking her up and down, she’s gorgeous. The blonde hair and blue eyes are working for her.
She doesn’t hold a candle to Aisling, though.
Owen looks over his shoulder at us, and I’m checking Emily out to wave us over. I still don’t trust the cop, but I’m doing this for Prez.
“Em, this is Hash,” Owen introduces us.
She looks me up and down, studying me in the same way I was studying her moments before. I tower over as she barely comes up to my shoulders. I probably have a hundred pounds on her.
My eyes narrow slightly at the glint that appears in her eyes as she checks me out.
I haven’t touched a woman since Aisling.
It’s not that someone hasn’t caught my eye; they have.
But every time I tell myself to move on from the shitty life I caused, the look on her face when I told her she doesn’t belong in my world haunts me.
And it haunts me to the point where I can’t even get my dick up.
For the last two years I’ve been jacking off to memories of a woman I destroyed.
“Nice to meet you, Hash. Welcome to Hickory Hills.”
“Thanks. HD tells me you’ve done this before?” I ask, my voice coming out harsher than I intend, catching her off guard.
“HD?” she asks, sounding as confused as I was.
“Hot Dog.” Trust me, I don’t get it just as much as you.
“You don’t know Hot Dog?” Prez’s voice booms as he throws an arm around Owen.
“Em, this is Cain, the president of the Dirty Devils,” Owen tells her. “They like to joke about Hot Dog being my road name. Since Owen Meyer sounds like Oscar Meyer.”
I bring my fist to my mouth as I cough into it, trying to contain my laughter as I feel someone, who can only be Cyrus, slap their hands on the back of my shoulders, resting their forehead on my back as they shake violently with laughter.
Holy shit, that’s good.
“Could be worse,” Emily says. “Could have nicknamed you bologna…”
Cyrus and I burst out laughing, unable to hold it together any longer.
“What time do you want me to be where?” Emily asks Owen.
“One o’clock over at hay field.”
Much to my shock, Owen and Prez wander off, leaving me standing awkwardly alone with Emily.
“Promise not to try anything,” I tell her unexpectedly, sounding like an asshole. As much as I probably need to get my mind and dick off Aisling, I can’t. Trying to lighten the mood, I joke, “Unless that’s what you want.”
“Depends,” she answers. Is she trying to flirt with me? “On just what you’re thinking—”
I smirk down at her, ready to give her a bullshit line when a man saddles up behind her, placing his hand on her lower back.
A move that tells me to back off.
“Hey, Em…” the man says, as he takes me in, trying to see if I’m a threat to him and whatever Emily has going on or not.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he continues, his eyes not leaving me.
Don’t worry, buddy. I’m not going to stick my dick where yours has been.
“Libby is looking for the stopwatches. She thought you’d know where they are? ”
My eyes dance between them, amused that this is going down, and she seems completely oblivious to it.
“Yes, let me go get that.” Emily turns to me as she waves. “Nice to meet you. I’ll see you at the hay field at one for the demo.”
“Later, babe.”
It’s hot as fuck out here.
I don’t know whose idea it was to have this demo outside in the Georgia heat, but fuck them. I can feel the sweat dripping off of my balls as Jace drones on with his speech about personal safety.
I take a step to the left, trying to get my left nut unstuck from my leg without being obvious about it.
“Oh yes, right there!” Emily whispers as she nudges me. “Just a little more to the left. Yes, riiiight there. Yes!”
Jesus.
She sounds like I’m building it, but I haven’t even touched her. My eyes scan the crowd for the man who laid his silent claim earlier but come up empty.
“If that’s all it takes, can’t wait to see your reaction once I actually touch you.”
“You have to catch me first,” she responds, quick with it.
My gravelly laugh coming out louder than intended, making Owen look over at us in confusion as Jace continues his spiel.
“So today, with the help of my volunteers, Emily and Hash, we’re going to run through self-defense 101.
All of these are very basic techniques, things that every person should know to help keep themselves safe and aware.
None of what we will cover today will require any additional accessories.
However, if you want to check out our assortment of devices or talk to any one of us more in-depth about our trainings, please stop by the Hayes booth.
” Jace gestures over his shoulder toward the large tent set up adjacent to the stage. “Everyone ready?”
The crowd goes wild, anxiously waiting for our performance. Let’s hope I don’t embarrass the hell out of myself. My brothers will never let me live it down. I can see Cyrus smirking in the crowd, waiting for me to fuck up.
“Hash, Emily?” Jace continues.
I nod, my take-no-bullshit expression back in place. I tip the corner of my lip up slightly at Emily, reassuring her because I know this is a lot with having an audience and all.
Emily claps as she does a little dance and takes a step back. What happens next is beyond me. One second she was getting in position, and the next she’s on the edge of the stage about to fall off.
On reflex, I reach out trying to grab her, but I don’t fully make it in time.
Her skin is slick with sweat from the hot as balls sun beating down on us, not letting me get a good grip on her wrist, causing it to slip right through.
Emily hits the ground with a hard thud. The crowd gasps loudly as Owen and I yell her name.
“Are you okay?” Jace asks, concern written on his face.
“I didn’t do it. She tripped.” I need to make it known that none of this was me. I don’t need anyone accusing me of shit, especially when one of them is a fucking cop.
“He’s not wrong. That was all me,” Emily says as she opens her eyes.
“Make a hole!” The man who laid a silent claim on Emily pushes through the crowd. I step aside as something in the direction he came from catches my eye.
Cherry cola hair that I would recognize anywhere.
He’s checking on Emily. I faintly register him asking her questions, but it’s all background. All I can focus on is the woman walking away from the chaos, walking away from me.
Emily taps my leg, forcing a pained smile. “I did say you’d have to catch me.”
“You did.” I chuckle as her man and I help her to her feet.
Once I know he has Emily, I’m shoving my way through the crowd in the direction I saw the woman who haunts my every waking moment go.
“Aisling!” I shout, sprinting after her.
She’s power walking now, but I’m faster.
Aisling looks over her shoulder, her face paler than usual, as if she’s seen a ghost.
My heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of my chest, and my stomach drops.
It’s her.
I can’t believe it’s her.
“Hash,” she whispers in disbelief.
“Baby doll,” I whisper as I try to catch my breath, coming to a stop a few feet from her.
Her head rears back as if I slapped her, a pained expression taking its place.
“I need to go,” she rushes out, turning around to leave.
“Wait,” I plead, reaching out to grab her arm.
Aisling rips her arm out of my grasp. “Don’t touch me,” she hisses.
“Mama, mama, mama,” a baby babbles, drawing both of our attention to the stroller.
Aisling’s face softens, her eyes lighting up as she bends down to pick up the baby. “Hi, baby. Mama’s right here,” she coos.
Holy shit.
Aisling’s a mom.
The same feeling I had the night I left her is back with a vengeance.
I left her, and my woman had another man’s baby.
It should have been mine.
A choked noise comes out of my throat as I try to keep my emotions in check, drawing both of their attention to me.
Holy shit.
My eyes are staring back at me.
Bright green eyes paired with my messy sandy hair.
“Aisling…” I choke out. It’s getting hard to breathe.
“Yes, Hash,” Aisling answers my unasked question, and it feels like a stab to the gut.
“He’s yours. I tried telling you, but you flat-out ignored me.
I guess that’s what I should have expected from a man who told me I don’t belong in his world, huh?
” My firecracker is pissed, and she has every right to be.
I fucked up.
And I don’t know if I can fix it.
“Can we go somewhere and talk, baby doll? Please,” I ask softly as I try to swallow the panic of what’s slipping through my fingers.
All I want to do is hold my woman and my baby in my arms.
“Time for talking was almost two years ago, Hash. You don’t get that from me. Not now.”
“Baby doll, please,” I beg.
Aisling shakes her head, her eyes watering. “No,” she says barely above a whisper, shattering my heart. “The thing is, Hash… You were right. I don’t belong in your world. You’re loyal to your club and your brothers, but you were never loyal to me.”
She might as well have slapped me across the face.
I’m unable to move, frozen with my heart pounding ears as she puts my son back in the stroller and walks away.
You’re loyal to your club and your brothers, but you were never loyal to me.
I need to prove to the one person who I don’t deserve forgiveness from that she belongs in my world.