Chapter 17 #2
What kind of animal sleeps only with one pillow?
His hamper is full of dirty clothes, but, surprisingly, his room doesn’t smell. It smells exactly like Hash, a mix of weed, motor oil, and cedar.
I find the bags I brought on the floor at the foot of his bed. Laying Cormac on the bed, I quickly change his diaper before sitting on the bed so my back is against the wall. Lifting up my shirt, I pull a boob out and latch Cormac to it.
Normally I wouldn’t care about where I’m feeding him. It’s a natural thing, and anyone who’s grossed out by it needs to grow the fuck up. I just didn’t want to whip my boob out in front of all of these men I didn’t know, who hadn’t taken their eyes off of me since I walked in.
He really needs a TV or something in here. What does he do to pass the time? Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did because if I knew he wasn’t the type to spend a morning in bed doing nothing but rotting, I don’t think I would have fallen so hard.
There’s two doors on the wall opposite me, both of them closed. If I had to guess, I’d bet one is a bathroom and maybe a small closet. Not that the man has a huge wardrobe. I don’t think I’ve seen a shirt on him that wasn’t either black, gray or white.
I let my head fall back against the wall as Cormac continues to feed.
I’m not sure how much time has passed since I’ve been in here because I zoned out on these very 2000-coded khaki walls before I heard the door handle to the bedroom turn.
Oh shit.
I forgot to lock the door.
Would someone from the party randomly come in here? I don’t know who all was invited, but Hash made it sound like it was just family, but even then, I wouldn’t think he would like someone coming into his space like that.
I know I wouldn’t.
The only person in my life who gets a pass is Frankie.
The door opens, and Hash slips inside, shutting the door behind him.
“Hey,” he says as he takes me in, his voice low.
“Hi.”
“I went outside to find you, and Evan said you needed to feed little man and sent you to my room. Is it okay if I’m in here while you’re… uh…” Hash reaches his arm up and rubs the back of his head as he looks around the room.
I snicker. I shouldn’t find it so entertaining to watch him squirm, but I do. “It’s okay. You can come in. It’s your room.”
Hash pushes off the door and comes over to sit next to me on his bed. “I didn’t know whether or not you wanted privacy.”
“Usually I don’t care.” I shrug. “I just didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
“You mean you didn’t want to feel uncomfortable,” Hash calls me out.
Busted.
“I’m sorry; they’re a lot right now. You’re just new, and because I’m a dipshit, they only just found out about you, so they’re curious. They’ll ease off.”
“It’s okay. I know this isn’t a normal situation.”
Hash laughs. “Baby doll, nothing about how Cain or Ink met their women is what I could call fucking normal. Evan is Scotch’s sister, and Sutton was, or I guess still is, Ink’s receptionist.”
“Oh.”
Sutton was Ink’s receptionist? That’s kind of fucking hot.
“Yeah, oh.” Hash’s lips tip up. His gaze moves from my face to where Cormac is latched. His nostrils flare as he sharply inhales. “I know this is probably the wrong time to say this, but Jesus, your tits look fucking huge. I mean, they were big before, but damn.”
Cormac releases my nipple, letting me know he’s done. With one hand, I tuck my breast back in my bra and right my shirt.
“Can you hold him for a second? I need to use the bathroom.” I outstretched my arms to him, with Cormac in them.
Hash looks at him with wide, unsure eyes. It’s in this moment that I realize Hash hasn’t held him before.
“Rest him against your chest and gently pat his back. He usually has a few good burps in him.”
Hash does as I say. “Like that?” he asks, looking up at me.
“Perfect,” I whisper.
My ovaries are exploding.
When I had Cormac, I think I just assumed he would be it.
Considering the way my life was at the time, that seemed like the only option.
But seeing Hash hold our baby to his chest like he’s the most precious thing in the world?
A burly biker man who looks like he would kill you if you looked at him wrong holding a baby?
I would climb him like a tree right now and ride him into the sunset. My inner walls are pulsing with need.
“Bathroom?” I ask, breaking the moment, because if I don’t get out of here, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.
“That door.” Hash points to the one on the right side directly across from us.
I smile a thanks at him before dashing in and shutting the door behind me. I lean up against it, my palms pressed flat against the wood as I roughly exhale.
“Holy shit, that man does things to me that shouldn’t be legal,” I whisper as I try to control myself.
It has to be the hormones.
Can I even blame it on pregnancy hormones if I had the kid nine months ago?
I quickly do my business before washing my hands and splashing cold water on my face. I stupidly thought this would help; it didn’t.
If anything, it made things worse because the water made me cold which lead me to thinking about how all I wanted to do is walk back out into his room, crawl into his bed, and have him warm me up in ways Frankie’s client Norma would be gasping at.
Buying myself more time, I do what any girl would do. I snoop.
I open up every cabinet and drawer in this bathroom hoping to find something juicy to maybe get a rise out of him later when I want attention.
It’s healthy to stay a little toxic.
But all I find is a bottle of cologne, deodorant, and towels that look like they should have been replaced ten years ago.
This man really has nothing in here.
“Ugh,” I groan as I place my hands on my hips and look up at the ceiling.
If I can make it through today, I can take care of myself tonight.
It won’t be the same because, in my personal opinion, a dildo can never replace the real thing, but it will at least take the edge off.
Hash has to be done burping Cormac by now and is probably wondering what the fuck I’m doing in here.
Taking one more deep breath trying to ease the ache between my legs, I open up the bathroom door, ready to take Cormac back downstairs and fake it until I make myself come.
“Get on the fucking bed, Aisling.”