Chapter 15 #2
First, Hunter was able to find me at a random club in New York. Then he was able to get past security twice, though Ben had pretty much solved that problem. But now he was able to get into my apartment with enough time to rearrange everything?
My hands began to shake again, and I let out a small, startled noise when Vanya took them between his own and rubbed some warmth back into my fingers.
“Is going to be okay,” he murmured.
I let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “Yeah? How?”
“Well, this time, you’re not alone. You’re not hiding everything.”
I was hiding from some people, but…he had a point.
“And we can fix, Micah. This problem? All of it? We can fix.”
“And if he releases the video he has of me?” I challenged.
He was quiet for a long time. “Can I ask…and please don’t yell…but what is worst thing to happen if he release it? He go to jail for…for. What is called…” He took a deep breath. “Revenge…”
“Porn,” I filled in, because that had been my first thought. The conversation he swore he had on video, I was naked in it. Limp dicked with tear-streaked cheeks from crying. “And yeah. But that won’t stop everyone from seeing it. It won’t take back all the downloads and other shit.”
Vanya said nothing for a long moment. “You know where he live?”
“Yes,” I answered slowly.
“Okay, so is simple. We get a guy to get into his phone or computer and—”
“Vanya! Jesus.” I was starting to get actually frustrated. As sweet as he was, he was also wildly unrealistic, and that wasn’t helping. “This isn’t the fucking movies. People don’t just have a guy who can hack into a computer to—”
“I do.”
My mouth snapped shut, and I turned my face toward him. “You have a guy?”
“Well, a brother. He work in cybersecurity in Las Vegas.”
I had no idea what the fuck to say to that. “Uh…”
“He mostly work for casino, you know? But he know people. Maybe he can help, maybe not. But I can ask.”
I was afraid. No, I was terrified. This could give me hope. This could give me ideas, and when that happened, I was usually let down.
Violently.
“Can I think about it?”
Vanya took my hand, and this time, it didn’t startle me. He lifted it, then kissed the tops of my knuckles. “Whatever you need. Right now, I think bath, then sleep.”
“I don’t want a goddamn bath.”
“Yes, yes. You so stubborn, Micah. But you will say thank you, Vanya, for nice bath. Thank you for muscles not all cramped. Trust me.”
He let me go, and before I could protest, he was gone.
I considered following him, especially after I could hear the faint sound of water filling a tub, but it wasn’t worth the fight. The game and the stress had me in total knots, and it would be at least ten hours before I could see our massage guy, so maybe a bath would help.
Vanya knew what he was talking about anyway. He took the same hits I did. At least, the physical hits. And I had a feeling that somewhere beneath his sunny disposition, there was hurt too. People who lived lives untouched by pain didn’t treat me the way he treated me.
He understood what it was like, at least a little.
And in spite of not ever wanting him to feel pain, knowing I wasn’t completely alone in this did help me feel better.
It was something, at least.
And I was going to hold it close to my chest until I could breathe again on my own.
The tiles under my feet were warm as I stepped into the bathroom. The air was thick, full of a soft lavender scent, and when Vanya took my hand, his own was soft from the hot water he’d been testing.
He didn’t say anything, which I appreciated. My senses were overloaded, and my stress levels were through the roof. I wanted stillness, and I wanted quiet, and Vanya seemed determined to give that to me.
He set me on the toilet lid, then peeled away my clothes until I was shivering naked under the vent.
The discomfort didn’t last long. His firm hand and sure steps led me to the tub, and as I set my feet in and felt along the perimeter, I noticed it was wide enough for at least three grown men. Maybe four, if we all got creative.
I couldn’t think of two other people I’d want to be there with though. As much as I detested admitting it to myself, Vanya was everything I had ever even considered wanting in a partner.
He was more than I hoped for and much more than I deserved.
“Here,” he murmured softly as I sank down into warm water and bubbles. “There is pillow behind you.”
I reached back and felt the shape—a sort of velvety texture, inflated and missing the rough edges of those cheap ones I usually bought online.
Sinking back, I groaned as the heat immediately began to work its way under my skin and into my muscles, and I stretched out just as Vanya put his own feet in.
“Uh…”
“I won’t touch. Promise,” he said as he settled beside me.
That was a lie, of course. His calf pressed against my thigh, foot tapping my hip as he settled opposite me. It wasn’t actually where I wanted him, but I wasn’t brave enough to say that.
Not right then.
“Is temperature okay?”
“Perfect,” I said as I sank down a little lower. The water lapped at my shoulders, and the aches from the game began to fade into something a little less unpleasant. “How bruised do I look?”
He snorted. “Not as bad as me. I take stick right between the pads near my ribs. Alexio punch that guy for me.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Shit. Who was it?”
“Some rookie. Don’t know him yet. Good player though. Very fast. He might not like me a lot after today though.”
“Because of the punching?”
Vanya laughed. “No. I was on mic. Media team say they release audio next week for some promo. If he hears it, I was…not very nice.”
“He’ll get over it. It’s fuckin’ hockey.”
Vanya laughed again and gently nudged me with his foot. “Yes. Is fucking hockey.”
Unthinking, I grabbed his ankle and pulled until his foot was hovering over my stomach, and then I began to rub my thumbs along his arch. He moaned loudly, obscene in the echoing bathroom as he shifted lower.
“What is for? The…massage,” he said like he was losing his words.
I rubbed him harder, enjoying the way he was melting under me. I hadn’t gotten to do this before. It was always him making me go lax and boneless. Always him making me feel safe and held.
I liked it that way. But I wanted to give a little too.
“It’s a thank-you. For tonight. I’m sorry I fell apart. I didn’t think I—”
“Micah. No.” His tone was firm enough it startled me.
“No. I know you’re Canadian, sorry for everything.
But not this, okay? Not for bad guy hurting you, not for him breaking into your home and moving things.
He was wrong. Very, very wrong.” Vanya sounded shattered.
He went silent and still, then pulled his foot out of my grasp and slid up alongside me.
His hand took my cheek, softened by the water, making his calluses stand out even more. His thumb ran over my jaw, and the exhale I let go of trembled.
“Micah,” he said again. “He must know how badly what he did would hurt you.”
He knew. It was obvious Hunter knew how much that kind of thing would ruin me. How it would take me out at the knees. How cruel and indefensible something like that was.
Just moving my furniture even an inch was unforgivable. But moving it all, changing my fridge and cupboards—he knew what that would do to me.
“I want to kill him,” Vanya murmured.
“Once again, you’re not going to become a murderer because of me,” I fired back.
He sighed and leaned in, forehead touching mine. “How can I help tonight?”
“This is good.” That wasn’t a lie. This was very, very good. Not just the bath or the Epsom salts that were helping the ache in my muscles, but his presence, which was soothing the frayed parts of me deep under my skin.
And the fact that he did it all without thinking I was weak or pathetic.
“Tell me,” he urged again.
I swallowed heavily. I shouldn’t be doing this. I had to start pulling away. I couldn’t keep relying on him because in the end, we would crash and burn just like everything else.
And I didn’t want to be the person to hurt him.
But I was feeling selfish and afraid and angry, and he was offering to make it better. Would it really make me a monster if I accepted?
“Kiss me.” I meant it as a demand, but the words came out begging and plaintive.
His grip on my jaw tightened, and then he pulled me forward.
The kiss wasn’t sweet or soft. It was demanding and sharp—everything he knew I needed from him.
His teeth dug into my bottom lip before his tongue soothed the sting, and he moved his lips from mine, down my jaw, to the place my pulse was hammering.
He bit down, making my cock jump and my back arch, and his other hand went between my legs.
He laughed against my skin when he felt how hard I was. “You were just waiting, yes? For me to make you needy?”
“Fuck—”
“Ah, pretty goalie,” he warned, cutting me off. “Be nice to me tonight.”
I held back what I wanted to say. His words weren’t only for play. He was giving me room to push back, but I could hear it in his tone: he needed softness too.
This was also a lot for him.
I turned, winding my arms around his neck, and drew him in for a kiss. “Thank you, Vanushka.”
I wasn’t sure if I said that right—if I even remembered right when he’d gotten upset with me for calling him Ivan. But the way he sucked in a breath and then melted against me said I’d at least come close.
“I want to take you to bed. Please, pretty goalie…”
“Yes,” I murmured. “Take me to bed. I need to forget. And…” I hesitated, the words dancing on my tongue.
It would always be dangerous, being vulnerable with anyone.
They could twist my words and use them to haunt me, just like Hunter was doing now.
But I trusted Vanya. With my life. With my heart. “And I want to be with you.”
He turned his head and kissed me, no less possessive, but slightly softer, and then he eased back. “Come. I will make you forget everyone but me for as long as you need.”
Forever, I wanted to say. But that was one thing I’d keep to myself.