Chapter 8
LAINEY
The sharp knife cuts into the chocolate squares that are my specialty. They’re melted chocolate and molasses then throw in some cookies and candy canes. With the casserole dish on the counter, I carefully divide the portions.
“So proud of you for using the Dash brand of molasses.” Gracie brings her spatula to her heart because she is midway through taking the shaped holiday cookies off the cooling rack on the other side of the kitchen.
Bear Dash is a local must. The owner of the hockey team also comes from a family that owns a famous syrup and molasses company.
“I think we are almost ready to do more decorating.” I assess my kitchen that has every type of cookie, bar, and fudge known to mankind. It’s our annual tradition.
I notice Enzo and Gracie with spoons scooping up the remaining cookie dough in the bowl.
“Hey!” I playfully swat him. “There is raw egg in that.”
Splat.
My attention swings to Gracie whose spoon has fallen into the bowl at record speed.
Lines form on my head because this isn’t Gracie; she would eat a whole tub if she could. “What’s up with you? You always eat the chocolate chip dough.”
“You know, I just decided that I’ll focus on the powdered sugar for the puppy chow.” She quickly grabs the plastic bag that holds cereal.
I’m puzzled by her weird demeanor, but when Enzo begins to whine, I refocus on him who hasn’t listened, and I just give in and let him have one more bite before stealing the bowl away.
“It’s not fair,” he complains. “You and Auntie Gracie get to stay up and eat cookies.”
I grab a tin to start distributing all our goods. “We are not eating them… all. And you already decorated a bunch of cookies; we are just going to finish the rest. So please, get ready for bed. You have school tomorrow.”
He groans and begins to stomp away. “Fine.” There is attitude in that voice.
“Don’t forget the elf is watching and reporting to Santa every night,” I remind him with my voice raised as he disappears around the corner.
Gracie chuffs a laugh as she plants herself down on a stool and grabs a bowl of icing to decorate the last of the snowflakes.
“We are almost done. I’ll decorate the polar bear cookies.” I grab one from the pile of dreidel- and stocking-shaped cookies, and instantly my face puzzles as I hold up the shape. “You didn’t”
She smiles slyly at me. “Oh, I did.”
“Seriously? I have young eyes in this home.” I try not to burst out laughing that my friend made a dick-shaped cookie.
“It’s holiday-themed. Maybe Santa is well-endowed. Or maybe your neighbor is.” She smiles cheekily.
Instantly, my entire body sinks. I’m thankful that hockey season means Tyler comes and goes due to the game schedule. I’ve had a little escape. I updated Gracie on what happened as soon as I got home from making a fool of myself.
“I’m such an idiot,” I mutter.
“You were in the moment and emotional. It happens. Kudos to him for putting a stop to it. See, chivalry isn’t dead.” She points the tube of icing at me.
Rolling my eyes, I throw her inappropriate cookie to the side and opt for a more classic-styled shape. “I just can’t believe I did it.”
“Let it go. Maybe he’s forgotten about it. I mean, they’ve had like, what? Away game after away game. His mind might be occupied.”
“Since when did you learn their schedule?” Something is up with her.
She chuffs a laugh. “I… I didn’t… Only guessing.” I give her a few seconds of my confusion as I try to figure it out before letting it go.
To be honest, I’ve only looked at the score of one of Tyler’s games. Mostly, because I’ve been busy. It’s prime craft season at school. We have a lot of December holidays to cover, using different-colored bottles of glitter.
“I think they haven’t had the best of games, lately,” I say.
“Meh, wins and losses. Inconsistent but better than last season. It comes down to Coach. He has to be firm but fair. But anyway, don’t let it deter you. It’s time for you to just get it over with. You’ll run into him at some point, so be the one who is confident and in control.”
I take a bite of a cookie and ponder her suggestion. We spend the next half-hour finishing up, and I leave her for a few minutes to put Enzo to bed. When I return to the kitchen, Gracie is busy closing a tin filled with goodies.
Her arm darts out, and she hands me the tin with a polar bear on it. “Here.” I accept her offering. “I’ll stay in case Enzo wakes up, but Tyler is back… so go.”
My chin rises at my friend’s words. “And you were thinking I can bring him cookies?”
“Tis the season, Lainey.”
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
She steps closer to me and tugs on my off-the-shoulder t-shirt, causing me to show more skin to be a little more brazen. “There. Now go say hello.”
Gracie already has her hands on my shoulder and is turning me in the direction of the door before I can even protest. I’m basically shoved out the door, with it closing behind me.
Taking a big inhale, I pep myself up for this. She’s right. This is no big deal, plus I have cookies. Who doesn’t love cookies?
Still, I knock nervously on Tyler’s door. I hear nothing, so I knock again. I wait for a few seconds then give up and feel partly saved. Turning around, I don’t even get a chance to take a step because the door bursts open.
“I was in the shower, what do you want?”
Swirling back, I’m nearly blinded.
Oh no.
This can’t be happening.
He has a towel hanging around his waist, and I can see his clearly defined stomach with lines that lead me down because the towel is low, tucked just below his belly button. Quickly, I swing my eyes away from him.
“Sorry. I just came…” That could be taken out of context. “I mean, I just came to give you something.” I hold up the tin.
“What?” He doesn’t sound impressed. Kind of grumpy, to be honest.
I brace myself and internally warn my eyes to focus on the only safe area… his face. But his chiseled jawline seems extra defined right now, and his eyes are piercing me.
“It’s cookies, brownies, fudge, you know, that kind of thing. Happy holidays.” I offer him the tin. “Just made them today. Maybe that’s why you can smell them.”
“Yeah, it’s filling the hallway as if the building is suddenly a chocolate factory. Plus, I need to stay with my regimen.”
I’m surprised by his demeanor. He’s as cold as the weather outside.
“Okay, fine.” I hold the cookies closer to my body again. “I also came to… apologize.” I struggle to get the word out, and he doesn’t reply nor flinch. “For the other night.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he says curtly.
My eyes flare bigger. “You’re being an ass right now. I’m trying to come with a peace offering, and you don’t even accept my cookies!”
“Maybe I don’t want your cookies!” he argues back.
I puff out my chest, and it causes the fabric on my shoulder to lower even more.
“Fine. Don’t take my delicious treats. There are chocolate-covered pretzels, you know.
” I point my finger at him. “Normal humans go crazy about that. Not being grateful for a gift is a shitty thing. And you’ll only regret it when Mrs. Dale down the hall raves about them in the elevator. ”
He raises his arm above his head and leans against the door frame, giving me quite a vision of the man. “I’m just being what you would expect. The asshole, since I’m a hockey player.”
My mouth opens because it feels like he just cut the air, and instantly I see remorse on his face. He drops his arms and seems to be thinking something.
“Are you mad at me? I’m trying here…” I say softly with so much vulnerability that I feel as though I’m jumping off a cliff.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, and I’m not mad at you.” He lets out a deep sigh then steps to the side with his hand indicating to come in. “It’s just been a tough few days.”
Without thought, I accept his invite to enter his home. We stop between the kitchen and living room and face one another.
“I hate mint-flavored bars or any of that puppy chow crap.” His eyes drop to the contents that I’m holding. He raises his chin and inspects my hands. “Any brownies in there?”
I break out in a grin and hand him his present. “Of course.”
He lifts the lid and makes a sound with a grimace. “Maybe edible.”
My hand finds my hip. “Maybe? Geez. Really know how to be grateful.”
“Ooh, a Gimel.” He sounds pleased.
I rise up on the balls of my feet so I can review what cookie he is holding, and my forehead squinches as he holds a dreidel with something on it. I’m not sure what it means. “You know Hebrew?”
He lifts a shoulder and cooly plays it off.
“Long story, but I have a few Jewish relatives, genealogy reports, and the indication that apparently I should have been paying more attention to Hanukkah growing up. Actually, Asher, my coach and cousin-ish, he is half-Jewish. They go hardcore Chrismukkah. So yeah, I can drink your Gimel, Nun, Hey, and Shin under the table.”
I stare at him blankly, as I was not expecting that. “Oh, well, that’s cool.” There is a moment of silence, and I quickly realize why.
His expression turns confused when he pulls out a gingerbread man, except…
“Is this…?” He holds the cookie up for inspection.
My entire face falls into embarrassment. “I’m going to kill her,” I mumble to myself.
“Is this a cookie shaped like a dick?”
My hand comes up to my face to try and cover my flushed warm face that is probably red. “It would appear so, and I’m terribly sorry for… the mix-up.” My voice rises an octave.
Now he just smirks at me. “Should I ask why a dick-shaped cookie was even on your cookie-making menu?”
I shake my head feverishly side to side.
He tosses the cookie back as he walks to the counter to set the container down. All the while, I wonder how the knot of the towel hasn’t come undone.
The moment he catches me looking at him, I blush and nibble on my bottom lip.
“You okay there?” He is doing his best to maintain his confident smirk.
“Yeah, um, totally.” I twist at the bottom of my shirt. “Just wanted to drop them off and apologize. I shouldn’t have thrown myself at you.”
“No need to apologize, and you didn’t throw yourself at me.”
Gulping, I’m struggling here because he has swagger when he strides slowly my way.
“Still. You’re right to have stopped it and…”
He halts just in front of me, with his body far too close, and I shiver because I can’t escape in the best possible way.
His head dips down, and his breath cascades along my cheek until he is near my ear. “Lainey, just because I was a gentleman, doesn’t mean I wanted to be one.”
I’m about to snap. This overbearing feeling is taking over me. “For the sake of humanity, I need you in more than a towel right now.” And ah shit, I just said that out loud.
He retreats his head back slightly, bubbling a deep laugh. “Trust me, answering the door in my towel wasn’t on purpose. However, what is it you say? Spread some holiday cheer?”
I sputter out a laugh. “Did you just attempt to be funny?”
The back of his knuckles run along the edge of my jaw while the thumping in my chest is running a marathon, and my core is turning to liquid.
“Since you are having a better day and I have a better understanding of things, can I do something?” He sounds hopeful.
“Is it a better day? You nearly refused my cookies.” The corner of his mouth lifts due to my humor, but I turn serious. “Tell me about this something?”
I feel it in my bones. It’s the light in his eyes and the tenacity. There is a wave inside of me that roots me down with confidence that all is well.
“You see, I have a little problem.”
My eyes drop down. “Is it little?”
“Now who is trying to be funny?”
I clear my throat and put on my serious mode, and he notices. “Okay.”
“Even though it wasn’t the right circumstance, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about something…”
Another step and our bodies are flush.
“Which is?” I rasp.
“This.” His mouth crashes down on mine.
Instantly, I’m floating, but I’m in his arms, and he won’t let me fall because he’s holding me tight.
My arms loop around his neck as we kiss gently before returning to our fervent need.
I let him lead, otherwise I’m scared I would climb him like a tree, and he’s in a towel which is as evil as Krampus, Santa’s devilish relative.
I moan into Tyler’s mouth, and he only pulls me tighter to his body. My eyes stay closed, and I soak in this moment that is making me lightheaded. This kiss isn’t sweet, but it’s still perfect because it’s filled with reverence. A desperate need for each other.
His tongue runs along the seal of my lips, then he places a simple kiss on the corner of my mouth. But I steal more by chasing his mouth with my own until we mold into another kiss.
It feels like forever, but we need to breathe, and when we do, he slowly pulls away and places a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose and cheek until our foreheads touch, with our breathing rapid, attempting to subside.
“No complaints about your thought process.” My voice scrapes with a sultry playful voice. I don’t date, and it should scare me, the thought of getting close to a man in a non-platonic way, but no fiber inside of me wants to run away.
“Good.”
Pulling away, our eyes meet. We come to terms with what just happened, and we’re both radiant because there are no regrets.
“This is the part when I should probably try and save my sanity and not be near you while in a towel and you just kissed me like that,” I say flatly, in awe of the last few minutes.
His fingertips touch the curve of my shoulder. “And for my sanity, I shouldn’t be near you while your shoulder is taunting me.”
Thank you, Gracie.
It feels as though my lips are swollen, and we both have giddy looks.
“Then I will leave you with a not-nutrition-plan-compliant snack.”
“Meh. They can go in the freezer, right?”
I nod.
Walking backward to the front door, our eyes remain tied together. I nearly trip in my step but save myself. My hand lazily indicates behind my back. “I’ll just leave then.”
“You do that.” He grins but also seems flustered himself.
I’m about to dart out but stop. “Hey, Tyler.”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you’re not like all of the other players.”
His lips press together, but the tick of his cheek tells me that he understands.
My chest lifts then eases as I leave his apartment.
Because it seems that he has me feeling a different way than I’ve experienced before.