14. Ryder
Ryder
Pregnancy test. Two simple words that have my heart beating in an unnatural rhythm. Pregnancy means baby, kids, being a parent… me being a parent. The small hospital room suddenly seems even smaller, the walls threatening to swallow me whole.
I’m not stupid, I know what we’ve been doing. I know that unprotected fucking results in pregnancy, but when I’m with Penny, the thought is pushed so far out of my mind. No matter how obviously connected they are, the two ideas didn’t connect inside my head until this very moment.
Staring at the clock on the wall, I watch the handle going around. Each tick taunting me, reminding me of how much time I’ve wasted… how much time I’m wasting right now. Sitting here in this room with a woman who destroyed my life and who is possibly growing a baby inside of her… our baby.
I watch her get undressed from the corner of my eye.
Her almost inaudible grunts telling me she is struggling to do it on her own.
Knowing that she won’t ask for it, I get up and help her.
I try not to look at her body, I don’t want to see her beaten like this.
It makes me physically sick, especially thinking about the possibility of her being pregnant.
If she is… I will hunt that fucker down and end him. Hell, I might do it anyway.
Once she is in her hospital gown, I sit back down on the chair, waiting another eternity for the doc to show up. The entire time, we barely look at each other, both avoiding eye contact as much as we can, each for different reasons.
When the door finally opens, and the doctor walks in, my heart is slamming against my ribcage furiously.
“Hey there,” she greets us both. The nurse who was here earlier, entering the room behind her. “I’m Doctor Bayley. Amy filled me in. So, you fell down the stairs, huh?”
“Yes.” Penny nods, but the doctor frowns at her. Giving her a look as if to say, I don’t believe a word you’re saying. She taps her pen on the clipboard she is holding, waiting for a moment to give Penny a chance to talk.
When Penny doesn’t say anything, she finally lets it go. “Okay… your pregnancy test came back negative, so we will do some x-rays next to make sure you didn’t break anything when you fell.”
I might have been annoyed by her snarky remark if it wasn’t for the fact she said the test was negative.
A wave of relief washes over me. My heart rate slows down almost immediately, leaving an unfamiliar and unexpected dull ache in my chest. It’s almost like there is a tiny, disappointed part of me.
Confused and irritated, I shove that feeling down in the darkest corner of my mind and concentrate on what else the doctor is saying.
“I’m going to examine you. For that, I need you to take this off. Are you okay with him being in the room?” The doctor asks, and I almost roll my eyes at her. Penny nods, but the doctor keeps pushing. “I can make him leave if that makes you more comfortable.”
“No,” Penny speaks up this time. “I want him to stay.” Her words slam into me and settle deep in my chest. Not because I’m surprised by her saying them, but because of the way she says them. There is an undeniable desperation in them. Like she doesn’t just want me to stay, she needs me to stay.
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly feels tight.
“Okay, he can stay,” the nurse says, and she and the doctor help Penny out of the hospital gown.
“So, tell me what hurts the most right now?”
“My side… my ribs, I guess,” Penny says, pointing to her right side.
“I’m going to feel around here. Let me know if it gets too painful, okay?”
Penny’s soft whimpers fill the otherwise silent room, and when I can’t take it any longer, I finally look over there. She is sitting up on the bed, the nurse holding her up while the doc examines her. There are bruises all over her face, arm, and shoulder, but the worst one covers her ribs.
Another rush of anger surges through me, and I decide then that I will hunt Thomas down. He needs to learn a lesson.
“Amy is going to take you over to radiology, and when I get those x-rays, we’ll go from there.” The doctor writes something down on her clipboard before handing it to the nurse and leaving the room.
Amy unhooks the IV from the pole and attaches it to the bed when there is another knock on the door. A few seconds later, it opens, and a gray-haired man appears.
“Sorry to interrupt. I’m Charles with the financial department,” he introduces himself and walks into the room. “Miss Jenkins?”
“Yeah,” Penny croaks, before clearing her throat, “that’s me.”
“I’m about to take her to radiology. Can’t this wait, Charles?” Amy interrupts, and I don’t miss the tone of annoyance in her words.
“This will only take a minute. Hospital policy,” he explains. “Miss Jenkins, when you filled out the take in form, you stated you have no health insurance. How would you like to pay for your visit and treatment today?”
“I… I don’t know,” Penny answers, flustered and embarrassed.
“We offer payment plans. You could put some money down today and pay the rest in installments. If you can’t pay anything, we could only treat anything that’s life-threatening–”
“We’ll pay for it today,” I cut his rambling off.
Fishing out my wallet, I find my credit card I rarely use and hand it to him. Most of our business is done with cash, but I have a nice cushion sitting in a bank account.
He takes the card without question and slides it through an attachment of the laptop he is carrying. “The visit and basic checkup are $250. Any other testing and treatment, like x-rays, will be charged separately.”
“That’s fine,” I tell him. He hands me back my card and makes me sign on a small digital pad.
He leaves just as Amy rolls out Penny, but not before both of them glance over at me.
“Thank you,” Penny says quietly, and the nurse gives me an actual smile. A far cry from the death stares I have been getting so far.
The door shuts behind them, leaving me to my thoughts.
Penny has been back from the x-rays for almost an hour, and we are still waiting on the test results.
At least they’ve given her some pain meds through her IV now.
She seems a little out of it but also calm, her breathing steady, and when she reaches to get some water, she doesn’t flinch or grimace in pain.
“Thank you, again,” Penny whispers, breaking the seemingly endless silence between us. “I’ll pay you back. However you want… if that’s still okay. I mean, if you still want this.”
She says this, but I’m sure what she really meant was me.
Do I still want her?
The truth is, I don’t really know…
Before I can come up with an answer, the doctor finally walks into the room, folder and clipboard in hand.
“Sorry for the wait, guys. We are slammed today,” she excuses. “I just had time to look over your x-rays.” She walks up to stand next to Penny’s bed.
“Is everything okay?” Penny asks.
“Well… there is some stuff we need to talk about and go over. The good news is, there is only a hairline fracture on one of your ribs, this time.” She pauses for a moment to get out one of the x-rays. “But I found ribs that were broken at one point and healed now.”
Penny stays quiet, not wanting to tell the doctor anything. Instead, she just listens to the list of all her injuries. Luckily, most seem minor compared to what could have been if I hadn’t intervened. Still, she has so many bruises she is going to be in a lot of pain for a while.
“I’m going to let you go home, but you need to take it easy. Your rib will heal on its own, but you need to rest… and be safe,” she says, emphasizing the last word.
“I am safe,” Penny whispers, looking down at her hands.