16. Ryder
Ryder
Penny sleeps through me going on a run, taking a shower, and eating breakfast. I let her, knowing she needs the rest.
Being the good Samaritan, I even scramble her an egg while I’m at it. Putting it on a plate, I set it on the nightstand along with another Percocet and a glass of apple juice.
I tell myself that the only reason I’m doing this for her is because I don’t want her to break more shit. I try not to think about the reality. How I feel about taking care of her like this. I don’t understand why I do, I just know that it feels kind of good. I like her needing me, depending on me.
I like this way too much, but I hate that it’s with her. Why couldn’t it be someone else who makes me feel this way? Anyone else…
A pained groan drags me out of my thoughts.
She blinks her eyes open and looks up at me, confused and disoriented. Glancing around, she realizes where she is, but the confusion never leaves her features.
“I’m going to help you sit up, so you can eat.”
She nods slightly, and I slide my arm under her body and lift her up, scooting her to the headboard. I hand her the medicine and juice, watching her take it without hesitation.
When I hand her the eggs, she eats right away. I walk around the bed and carefully sit down next to her, not wanting to leave her.
“Where did you sleep?” she asks between the tiny bites she’s taking.
“On the couch,” I admit, watching her eyes go wide in shock. “I didn’t want to move and hurt you by accident.”
“Why are you being so good to me?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. I don’t know why I feel this need to protect her, take care of her, and keep her with me. All I know is that I do.
“Why did you borrow the money from the club?”
“I didn’t. I mean, I did, but I didn’t know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Tommy wouldn’t let me leave the house, but sometimes he would bring people over.
His friends. They all knew, of course, but no one ever offered to help me until one night.
His friend, Ryan, told me he could help me leave.
I thought Tommy had told him to say that, like it was a test or something, but I was willing to risk it. So, I agreed.”
I stay silent as she continues, “A few days later, when Tommy was at work, Ryan came and got me. He kicked in the door and made me go with him. I didn’t know where we were going.
If I was safe or had simply traded my jailer.
He parked the car in some back alley, and we met a guy, one of your guys.
Ryan told him I wanted to borrow five grand. ”
You’ve got to be shitting me.
“Before I knew what was going on, the guys gave him a stack of money,” she continues. “Ryan took it and shoved it in his pocket. He told me that this was his payment for getting me out. Then he got into his car and left.”
Immediately, I imagine all the ways I’m going to hurt him. The need to avenge, to somehow make things right for Penny, overcomes me.
I’ve got a name, know who he hangs around with. It will be easy to track him down. I will make him pay, and I will enjoy doing it.
As I predicted, it wasn’t hard to find him.
I waited until Penny passed out again before I called Maddox and had him help me track this Ryan guy down. As soon as he sent me an address, I left, leaving Mojo to protect Penny.
It’s dark when I pull up to his house, the light coming from the windows telling me he is home. I cut the engine and get out of my truck.
When I walk around the house and look in through the window, I can’t believe my luck. Thomas is there as well. Half lying on the couch, an X-Box controller in his hand. Ryan is sitting next to him.
Great, I’ve got myself a two for one special.
Sneaking around the back of the house, I draw my gun. The back door looks easy enough to kick in, but before I do that, I grab the door handle and try to see if it’s unlocked. I turn the knob and push the door open.
Idiots.
With a smile on my face, I stroll into his house undetected, closing the door quietly behind me. I follow the voices coming from the living room until I stand in the door with my gun raised.
The two dumbasses are so into their game that they don’t even see me standing a few feet away.
“Sorry to interrupt your party.” I grin.
Both Thomas and Ryan jump up from the couch, shock and fear written all over their faces. Ryan reaches for something behind him, but I’m faster. I pull the trigger, and the bullet hits him in the shoulder.
He groans and falls back onto the couch, clutching the spot I just shot him.
Before Thomas can make a move, I lower my gun and pull the trigger again, hitting him in his right knee.
“Motherfucker!” he yells and crumbles to the ground.
When I see Ryan reaching for something again, I step further into the room, pointing my gun at him.
He freezes, and I walk around the coffee table to where he is sitting.
Reaching behind him with my gun pointed at his head, I pull out a Glock from his waistband and step back, stuffing the gun in my jacket.
“What do you want?” Ryan groans, blood soaking the complete front of his shirt now.
“I want my five grand,” I lie. I couldn’t care less about the money right now. “You don’t happen to have that kind of cash lying around here, do you?”
“I didn’t borrow it. Penny did.”
The moment the words leave his mouth, I’m on him. My fists fly, hitting him square in the jaw. His head snaps back so hard, I think I might have broken his neck.
“Don’t you say her fucking name! Actually, don’t say anything at all.”
“What the hell is he talking about?” Thomas groans from the floor.
“You didn’t know your friend here was the one who took Penny from your house? Don’t worry, he won’t make it out of here alive… and neither will you.”
I didn’t come here planning to kill either of them, but it happened anyway.
I killed them, and I’m not sorry about it one bit.
I enjoyed it, relished in the way the life drained from their eyes, especially with Thomas.
The moment he took his last breath, a weight lifted from me.
I didn’t know how much I held onto that hate for him until then.
I text the clean-up crew on my way out. They’ll take care of this. Now I only need to explain this shit to Maddox. Problem is, I don’t know how to. How do I explain why I killed him without lying to my best friend?
Technically, Ryan was the one who owed the club money, but dead men can’t pay. I should have beat him up and told him to get our money instead of putting a bullet in his brain. And I really have no excuse for killing Thomas, other than I wanted to. Not that the club is concerned.
As if he can hear me thinking about him, my phone vibrates, and Maddox’s name flashes across the screen. I hit the green button.
“Yeah–”
“What the fuck is going on with you?” Maddox’s angry voice comes through the receiver.
“Look, those fuckers deserved it.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Maddox snaps.
“I know. I don’t have all the answers myself. Can you just trust me on this? I needed to kill them for my own sanity. It’s a long story, and I promise I’ll explain it all, but not tonight, okay?”
“You know I trust you, but you have been acting strange lately. Not like yourself.”
I don’t feel like myself either.
“It’s done now. Killing them is the end of it. Now we only have to figure out which one of our brothers is stealing from us, and everything can go back to normal.”
“If you say so…” The line goes dead, and I throw my phone back onto the passenger seat.
Fuck. This is getting out of hand.
I pull into my driveway a few minutes later. Killing the engine, I sit in my truck for a few minutes before getting out.
Quietly, I walk through the house and into the bedroom. Penny is still in bed, looking like she hasn’t moved at all.
As I take in her sleeping form, something feels different. I feel different. Less burdened, less angry toward her. Now that Thomas is dead, in a way that gave me closure. I blamed her for so long when, in reality, it was his fault. Now he paid for it. The debt is settled.
The only question is, where does that leave us? What’s going to happen between Penny and me? Can I go on letting her think she owes me, just to keep her here?
Stripping out of my clothes, I climb into the bed beside her. She stirs, and her eyes fly open, looking around, alarmed. She pushes herself off the bed, but then she sees me, and her panic retreats. Her head falls back onto the pillow.
I lie down, turning onto my side, so I can see her. Even in the dim light, I can make out the bruises covering her face, reminding me I did the right thing tonight.
“Tommy is dead,” I say before I can stop myself.
I hear her sharp intake of breath, and for a split second, I’m worried. Worried that she is going to mourn him, that she is going to cry for him, but when I study her face, there is nothing but relief.
She doesn’t ask how it happened. Maybe she doesn’t care, or maybe deep down, she knows the answer. Either way, she closes her eyes a few minutes later, her features turning peaceful, almost angelic. Her breathing evens out, letting me know she went back to sleep.
Even though I’m satisfied with the outcome tonight, I can’t seem to sleep. I stay up watching her for a long time, wondering what the fuck I am going to do with her. She doesn’t owe me, maybe she never really did, but I don’t think I can let her go regardless.