Chapter 19 Penny
Penny
Before I even open my eyes and wake up all the way, I know something is wrong. I feel weird… off. My mouth is dry, and there is a bitter taste lingering on my tongue, almost metallic.
There is a pounding behind my eyes, deep inside my skull, that I’ve never felt before. This alone is odd because I’ve had my fair share of head traumas. I should be used to any kind of headache by now.
Prying my eyes open slowly, I take in my surroundings. I’m in Ryder’s bed… naked. His blanket is draped over me. I clutch it closer to my chest and slowly sit up.
I’m alone in the room, which scares me a bit.
But the thing that’s really freaking me out is that I can’t remember how I got here.
Searching my memory, I ransack my brain for any information on last night.
Thinking so hard only makes my head hurt more, and I come up empty anyway.
It’s like someone has taken an ice cream scoop and scooped out a piece of my brain, a morsel that held all of my memories from last night.
The last thing I recall is… getting on a bike with Ryder. He drove us to the bar, that’s where things get fuzzy. I think we went inside…
After that, only snippets of memories flash through my head.
“Are you serious?” A muffled male voice meets my ears. Even through the closed door, I can hear the anger in it. Then I hear Ryder say something, but he keeps his voice low, so I can’t make out what he is saying.
Quietly, I get up from the bed and take small steps toward the door. Immediately, I notice something sticky on my inner thigh. I reach down between my legs, realizing I’m slightly sore, and there is definitely cum stuck to my skin. We had sex last night. He came inside me, again.
Damnit. Why can’t I remember anything?
I grab the first item of clothing I can find. It’s one of Ryder’s sweaters. I slip it over my naked body and tiptoe to the door, lightly pressing my ear against it.
“How can you trust her? And how could she have done all that math in her head?” The unknown man asks. Math… that rings a bell. Ryder asked me to run numbers.
“I just do, and she is good at math. She had no reason to lie.”
“No reason to lie? You’ve been keeping her locked up as your sex slave, ready to hand her down to the guys when you’re done with her.”
No. He wouldn’t do that. He won’t…
“Not to mention the shit that happened to her last night…”
I stumble back, my head spins, and my stomach flips. What happened to me last night?
My hand comes up to my mouth when I feel the vomit suddenly rising. I barely make it to the bathroom before emptying the entire contents of my stomach into the toilet. I keep heaving, my body convulsing, long after there is nothing left inside.
I don’t hear him come in. He just appears out of nowhere, kneeling next to me, his hand on my lower back.
When my body has finally decided that was enough. Ryder hands me a small towel to wipe my face.
“What happened to me?” My voice is so hoarse, I hardly sound like myself.
“You’ll be fine,” is all he says, not answering my question at all. “I need you to come with me and talk to Maddox. He is in the living room.”
I shake my head, but Ryder is already pulling me up to stand. Wrapping his arm around me, he walks me into the living room.
Maddox, who I now realize I know, is sitting on the recliner. His icy glare finds me, and my heart races in my chest.
Ryder drags me to the couch, where he sits down, pulling me with him. Instead of letting me sit next to him like I expect, he pulls me down on his lap. Keeping one arm tightly around my torso, almost like he thinks I’m going to make a run for it.
Glancing down at the floor, I find Mojo looking up at me, his head tilted to the side like he doesn’t understand why I’m scared.
“Penny, is it?” Maddox breaks the silence.
“Yes,” I answer, my voice sounding just as meek as I feel right now.
“What do you remember from last night?”
“Not much. Really nothing.” Squeezing my legs together, I remember that I’m naked under the sweatshirt. Luckily, Ryder’s clothes are five sizes too big on me. Even sitting down, his shirt covers half of my thighs.
“Of course, you don’t,” Maddox growls, annoyance lacing his voice. “This is useless.” He waves me off as if he is really saying I am useless.
“Go back to bed. Catch up on sleep,” Ryder says dismissively as he pushes me off his lap.
I stand on shaky legs but manage to walk back into his bedroom without falling. Closing the door behind me, I lean against it for support.
“I’m taking her back to the club,” Maddox growls. “We’re putting her in a room with Tucker and ending this shit once and for all.”
His words knock the air from my lungs. He might as well have sucker-punched me. They’re going to take me back to the club… put me in a room with Tucker.
No. I can’t let that happen. I need to get out of here.
Frantically, I look around the room until I find a pair of leggings to wear. Luckily, my shoes are in here as well. I slip them on and walk to the window. Unlocking it quietly, I push it open as quickly as I can.
Lifting my leg, I half climb out, fear swirling deep in my gut—for two reasons. I’m scared that Ryder is going to catch me, and I’m terrified that he won’t. Because the truth is, after everything that has happened to me in the last five years, this is the only place I’ve felt safe.
I stare at the door for a few more seconds, but it never opens. I finish climbing out of the window, my feet landing on the soft grass below, and I take off running.
Without looking back or thinking about where to go, I just keep running.
I run until my legs give out, until I can’t do anything else besides sit down on the sidewalk, my back leaning against a building. My legs are sore, my lungs burn, and my ribs ache.
Closing my eyes, I concentrate on breathing evenly. Wrapping my arms around myself, I bury my face into the crook of my arm. The material of the sweater is soft, and it smells of Ryder. A deep ache forms in my chest, thinking of him… I miss him. I miss the comfort he gave me.
“Are you doing okay, sweetie?”
I lift my head to see where the voice comes from and find an older lady standing a few feet away. She is carrying two grocery bags that look way too heavy for her to carry.
“I’m fine,” I lie, “but you look like you could use some help.” I push myself up to stand. “Can I help you carry those?”
“That would be very nice of you.” She hands me one bag. “I don’t live far from here, just another block down.”
I follow the sweet old lady to her building, glad that she doesn’t ask me any more questions.
“This is me,” she says when we get to an apartment entrance. “Set the bag down on the steps for me, please. I got it from here.”
I do as she asks, leaving the bags on the top step. I turn around, ready to walk away, when she reaches her hand out to me.
“Here, take this for your trouble.” I look down at the twenty-dollar bill in her hand.
“It’s fine, really. I’m happy to help.”
“So am I, child. Please, take it. Maybe for a bus ticket out of here.”
“Thank you,” I take the bill from her hand and stuff it in the sweater pocket. “Really, thank you.”
“The bus station is that way.” She points the way we came from a moment ago. “Good luck.” She smiles at me sweetly, and her kindness almost brings me to tears.
I watch her grab her bags and disappear into the building before I turn around and start walking.
After a few blocks, I find myself at the bus station. Walking up to the booth, I wonder if I really have the guts to take the bus, I know I should.
The bus ride isn’t long. Only twenty minutes outside of town, and I’m here, stepping off the bus and onto the street I grew up on.
As I walk to the house I used to call my home, fear swirls around my stomach. I haven’t talked to my parents in so long. They probably don’t even want to see me.
I should go back to the women’s shelter, but that would be the first place Ryder would look for me. Here is probably the second, which means I can’t stay long. Just long enough to tell them the truth and tell them how sorry I am.
Walking up to the house feels like I’ve stepped back in time… a better time. Everything looks the same, my dad keeps the grass cut, and my mom keeps the flowers blooming. There is a wind chime hanging from the front porch, the gentle sound calming my nerves slightly.
Standing in front of the door, it takes me a few minutes to gather my courage to knock. When I finally raise my hand and let my knuckles rap over the heavy wood, my heart is slamming furiously against my ribcage.
Fighting the urge to run, I force myself to stand still and wait.
A moment later, I hear footsteps approaching, and the door swings open. All I can do is stand there, frozen in time as I hold my breath.
My mom stares at me, her eyes impossibly wide as if she can’t believe I’m really here.
“Oh, Penny,” she finally says, taking a step toward me. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into her in a way that only a mother could. “We were so worried about you. We thought…”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur into her hair, and she hugs me even tighter.
“Don’t be sorry, honey. I’m just so glad to see you.” She pulls away, tears glistening in her eyes now. She cradles my face between both of her hands, rubbing my cheeks with her thumbs. “We missed you so much, Penny.”
“I missed you too.” More than I can explain.
“Now, come on in and tell me what happened.” She pulls me into the house and shuts the door behind me. Leading me into the kitchen, she pulls out a chair for me. “Sit down, I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”
I take a seat and watch her getting out a cup.
“Ryder didn’t start the fight,” I blurt out.
My mom stops dead in her tracks. She turns and looks at me, confused. “But you said he did.”
“I know. It was a lie. Ryder was protecting me from Tommy that day. He was just trying to help, and I lied to get rid of him. It was all my fault.”
“Penny…” My mom sits the cup back down and crosses the room. Sitting down next to me, she takes my hand into hers. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I was stupid, jealous, and desperate for someone to like me. When you started fostering Ryder, I felt like he was taking you away from me. It was dumb and immature. But at the time, I just wanted him gone. And then the fight happened, and Ryder got in trouble. Everyone blamed him, and then the next day, the police came to the school asking questions, and I lied.”
I’ve never been so ashamed in my life. I can’t even look at my mother while I confess this. I hurt someone, really hurt him, changed his life because of my selfishness.
“I don’t know what to say, Penny.”
“There is nothing to say. I did that, and I deserved everything that happened to me after.”
“Don’t say that. We all make mistakes. What I don’t understand is why you stayed with Tommy. Why did you let him treat you like that? Why didn’t you just tell us the truth?”
“Right after I talked to the police, I felt so guilty. I was going to tell them, tell you, but then Tommy caught me on my way home. He started talking to me, being very nice and charming. He told me that he always liked me and that I did the right thing, and we could now be together. He started walking me to school every morning, picking me up every afternoon, bringing me presents. I believed it all, fell for his lies. I thought he actually loved me.”
“Tommy is an expert manipulator. He had us fooled too. It took us a while to figure out he was trying to get you away from us, and when we figured it out, it was already too late. He had you wrapped up in his web, and we didn’t think we’d ever get you back.
Then he came looking for you here, about two months ago. We were so worried.”
“That’s when I got away. I wanted to come here, but I was scared that he would find me and that you wouldn’t want me back.”
My mom squeezes my hand gently in response. “We always want you here. This is your home, no matter how old you are. Your dad will be home from work soon, and then we can get you situated in your old room.”
“Mom, I can’t stay long. I should probably go soon.”
“Penny, if you think I’m going to let you walk out of that door after not seeing you for so long, you are very, very wrong.”
“But–”
“No, buts.” she holds up her finger, “You are staying, and that’s the end of it.”
“Okay,” I finally agree. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.
Now, I can only hope that Ryder is not going to come looking for me. Hopefully, I won’t be worth the trouble.