Chapter 21 Penny
Penny
Moving the last few boxes of pasta from the small pallet onto the shelf, I take one last look to make sure everything is straight.
“You know your shift ended ten minutes ago?” Mary calls from the front of the store.
“Just finishing up,” I tell her.
I’ve been working here in her tiny grocery store for a few weeks now.
I couldn’t stand letting my parents pay for everything.
The least I can do is help out. It’s not much, but at least I don’t feel useless, and I like it here.
Mary is a sweetheart, and she was running this place all on her own before I came along.
“Will you be a doll and take the trash out on your way?”
“Sure thing.” I grab the large trash bag from behind the counter and head toward the back exit. “Bye, Mary. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, kid!” she calls after me. “Thanks again.”
The heavy door falls shut behind me, and I step into the small back alley behind the shop. I wrinkle my nose at the stench of garbage and urine that always greets me back here. Dragging the trash bag behind me, I use my free hand to open the dumpster’s sliding door.
“Need some help?” a male voice startles me.
I drop the trash bag and spin around, coming face to face with a man I don’t know. He is wearing dirty clothes, and his hair looks uncombed, making me think he might be homeless.
“Sorry, sweets. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He gives me a smile that has the small hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Panic rises inside of me; like a vine, it wraps around me, not wanting to let go. “Just thought you could use a hand.”
“No, thanks, I’m fine,” I say, trying to keep my voice even. Glancing around the small alleyway, I look for the quickest exit. The only way I can go is behind me, which means I have to get around the dumpster first.
“Don’t be like that, sweets. I’m just trying to help.” He takes a few steps toward me, his eyes roaming my body, and I know I have to make a run for it now.
Just as I’m about to take off into a sprint, the man suddenly retreats. His face goes pale, and the mischief in his eyes turns into fear. He takes a few more steps back, holding up his hands, palms first.
Only then do I realize he isn’t looking at me anymore. He is staring at something behind me.
Twisting my head, I look over my shoulder.
Ryder.
I’m vaguely aware of the man making a run for it, hearing his feet pound against the concrete to get away.
Then the alley goes silent, leaving Ryder and me in it alone. I don’t know how he got here or why he came, neither do I care at this moment.
I’m feeling so many different things at seeing him that I can’t make out if it’s good or bad. All I know is that my feet are cemented to the ground, and I can’t move a muscle.
The glare he was giving the unknown guy lowers, and his eyes find mine. His gaze softens, but I can still see the anger and turmoil within the icy blue depths.
“You shouldn’t work here,” is the first thing out of his mouth. His words take me by surprise, I expected him to yell at me. Demand why I left, maybe ask for his money back. Definitely not that I shouldn’t work here.
When I say nothing back, he grabs my hand and pulls me down the alley and onto the road. With my hand secured in his, we walk down the sidewalk. To everyone else, it probably looks like we’re a couple taking a stroll.
At the next corner, he leads me down a different alley where I spot his truck.
He opens the passenger side and lifts me in, climbing in behind me. He shuts the door, and I slide toward the middle of the cab, making space for him, but he grabs my hips and pulls me back onto his lap.
Before I can comprehend what is happening, I’m cradled to his chest, his muscular arms wrapped around my body, holding me to him tightly.
I bury my face in his shirt, sucking in air mingled with his unique scent, I missed so much. Yes, I missed it, I missed him. I missed the way he smelled, the way he tastes, and the way he makes me feel. I missed it all.
I thought those feelings might go away, but they have only been getting stronger. Every night, I wish he was holding me, wish for his touch. I was just too scared to admit it, even to myself.
We stay like this for a long time, clinging to each other without saying a word.
There is no need for anything to be said.
We both know what happened. Somewhere along the broken road we traveled, we turned to each other for comfort.
We started depending on one another. Forgave each other.
We turned the darkness between us into light.
Now the question is. Will that be enough?
My phone buzzes in my back pocket, reminding me I’m supposed to be home right now.
Ryder releases his hold on me, but only enough for me to sit up and retrieve my phone. He keeps his arms around me, his large hands sprawled out on my back and thigh.
Unlocking my phone, I find a message from my mom. “My parents are asking if I’m okay and if I’ll make it home for dinner.”
“I’ll drive you home.”
Before I can object, he is moving us around. After making me sit on the seat, he climbs over to the driver’s side and gets behind the wheel.
The engine roars to life, and he pulls out of the alley and onto the road.
“I’m sorry I left.” I feel the need to say it, even though I know I did the right thing. “I was scared, and I overheard Maddox saying he was going to take me back to the club and put me in a room with Tucker.”
Ryder curses under his breath. “I wouldn’t have let that happen.”
“I didn’t know that,” I say honestly.
“I know.”
“Have you been watching me?” I had a feeling he was, something in the back of my mind telling me he was close, but I chalked it up to dreaming for the most part.
“Yes,” he admits shamelessly and without further explanation.
“Why didn’t you talk to me?”
Just as I ask, we pull up in front of my parents’ house.
“You should go inside,” Ryder tells me, avoiding my question.
“Come with me,” I offer, but it sounds more like a plea. “I told them the truth, and they know I stayed with you.”
“Do they know what I made you do while you stayed with me?”
“It was my choice to stay with you. I had sex with you willingly, and we both know I enjoyed it too. But that’s not something they need to know.”
Ryder glances toward the front door, his fingers gripping onto the steering wheel tightly, before he turns his gaze back onto the road ahead. I can tell he is thinking about it. He wants to come in, but something is holding him back.
The past.
It’s the same thing holding me back too. Our past can’t be erased, no matter how we feel about each other now.
“Go inside, Penny.” He tells me, calling me by my name. It sounds foreign coming from his mouth, and I wonder why he chose this moment to say it.
Maybe because this is goodbye?
The thought of never seeing him again leaves a dark, empty space in the center of my chest.
“Go,” he repeats, still looking ahead as if he can’t bring himself to look at me.
Climbing across the seat, I lean over and place a kiss on Ryder’s cheek.
He doesn’t move or say anything. Simply looks ahead, his eyes trained on some imaginary spot on the road.
“Bye,” I murmur and climb out of the truck. As soon as I close the door and step onto the sidewalk, he drives off.
I watch his truck disappear when he takes a turn. The road turns blurry, making me realize I’m crying. Wiping the tears away with the back of my hand, I keep staring at the road, hoping he might change his mind. Wishing he would turn around and pick me back up.
But he never does.
He left, and I’ve never felt so alone.