Chapter 24
Ryder
I wake up the same way I fell asleep, with my arms wrapped around Penny. Her face is pressed against my chest, and with each breath she takes, a puff of air fans out over my skin.
This should feel odd. Cuddling has never been my thing. Kissing has never been my thing either. Yet, it feels right when I do it with Penny, a girl I hated for so long. How is that possible? Nothing about this makes sense.
Reaching over, I flip on the bedside lamp so I can look at her.
Maybe seeing her will remind me who is wrapped up in my arms. I take in her face.
Her lips are slightly parted, her eyes are closed, and her lashes rest like tiny wings right below.
Looking at her doesn’t change anything. I still want her.
Still want to hold her, want to protect and take care of her.
Stirring next to me, she slowly wakes up, her whole body goes stiff. Blinking, she looks around, and a moment of panic flashes over her face. When she realizes where she is, her body relaxes, and she melts back into my touch.
“How long do we have to stay here?” she asks, her voice still sleepy.
“However long it takes to find Tucker and have my place fixed up.” I’m sure she doesn’t like being here, but this will have to do.
“About yesterday…” she starts but then pauses for a long time. “Are we… I mean, am I still paying off my debt?”
My heart speeds up at her question. I know what she is asking. Was sex last night about money, or was it more? She wants to know where we stand, but I’m not ready to say it out loud. I can’t, maybe never.
“Nothing has changed.” I give her a washed down answer.
I feel her pulling away immediately, physically and mentally. I almost want to take it back… almost. But the truth is, nothing has changed, because it was never about the money for me. I always just wanted her. The only thing that did change is the reason I want her close.
Of course, she doesn’t know that. She thinks I just want to use her body to get my money’s worth.
“Why did you come for me? Why didn’t you just let Tucker get to me?”
“How are you going to pay me back if you’re dead?”
She flinches at my words, then turns her body away from me as if I shoved her away. I might as well, but this is the way it has to be. I can’t let her get too close. It’s going to make it harder for both of us when it’s time for her to leave.
I’m not stupid. She is leaning on me now, letting me take care of her because she needs me, but as soon as Tucker is out of the picture and she is safe again, she is going back home. Back to her own life. There is no room for me in it.
“Don’t make this out to be any more than it is.” Getting up from the bed, I pick up my clothes and pull them on. “You owe me. I take payment in the form of fucking. That’s it. Just because I’m nice to you in between doesn’t mean there is anything between us.”
When I glance over at her, she is sitting up, her head lowered as she looks at her hands lying in her lap. The sheet is wrapped around her torso, hiding her perky little breasts from me.
“Understood.” She nods, not looking up. Her long brown hair covering her face like a curtain, and I’m guessing that’s by design.
“Get dressed. We have to go see Maddox.”
She scurries off the bed, and I avert my gaze. If I look at her naked body right now, we won’t leave this room any time soon.
When we leave, I grab hold of her upper arm and walk her down the hall. As we enter the bar area, I tighten my grip on her, pulling her along rougher than necessary. She whimpers but doesn’t complain.
It’s early, and there are only a few people in the bar for a morning beer, but I don’t want anyone to know what Penny is to me. I walk her straight through the bar to the staircase leading up to Maddox’s office.
I don’t let go of Penny until we’re in front of his door. She rubs her arm where I held onto her, and the unwanted pang of guilt hits me.
Knocking on the door, I wait for Maddox to call us in.
“Come in…”
Pushing the door open, I step in and take a seat opposite him at his desk. Penny walks in after me timidly. She closes the door, and I motion for her to sit down next to me.
Keeping her head down, like she is avoiding eye contact with Maddox, she takes the seat.
“We still can’t find him,” he growls. “But since she is here, I have a job for her.”
Maddox opens a drawer behind his desk and gets out a stack of papers, putting them on the table in front of Penny.
“I need you to go through these and check all the numbers from the last few years.”
“Okay,” she says so quietly, it’s almost inaudible. She clears her throat and when she talks again, it’s loud and clear. “But I want something in return.”
Fuck.
I grind my teeth together in anger. She is going to ask for her debt to be forgiven, I fucking know it. Without debt, I have no real reason to keep her here.
Maddox leans back in his office chair. “Is that so? I don’t think you are in a position to make demands, but out of curiosity, what is it you want?”
“I want a laptop and internet access,” she explains.
“I’ll get you a fucking laptop,” I growl. “Now, run the damn numbers.” I don’t know who is more surprised by my outburst, Maddox, Penny, or myself.
Her shaking hand reaches for the papers, and she looks through them.
“I’ll need some time for these,” she whispers.
“You can take them to Ryder’s room, but they are not leaving the compound–”
Maddox hasn’t finished speaking when I’m on my feet. Gathering the papers, I shove them under my arm and grab Penny to pull her from her seat.
“Anything else?” I growl.
“Come back later, I need to talk to you in private,” he says dismissively.
“Fine.” I nod and drag Penny out of the office and through the bar the same way we came.
Slamming the door shut, I lock us back in my room and throw the stack of papers on the bed.
“What the fuck was that?” I yell at her, making her go pale. Guilt is written all over her face, but not even that is calming me down right now.
“I-I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I just need to fill out some applications–”
“I don’t give a fuck,” I don’t let her finish. “You don’t demand things from Maddox. You don’t demand things from anyone here.”
Fuck. She has no idea what she just did.
“I’m sorry,” she repeats, but her words don’t matter. The damage has been done.
“Start on the papers,” I order and turn away from her.
Leaving the room, I walk back upstairs to talk to Maddox. Before I enter his office, I take a calming breath, as if that would help.
Not knocking this time, I simply walk into his office and take the seat across from him.
“She needs to go. She is nothing but trouble, and she doesn’t know her place.”
“I’m handling it.”
“Fuck you are. You’re not handling shit. She has you wrapped around her little finger, and the guys are taking notice. You need to stop thinking with your dick and start using your brain. You are bound to this club, not to some pussy. Deal with her, or I’ll do it.”
His threat hangs in the air. I want to tell him to fuck off, but the truth is he is right. Whether or not I want to admit it, she has been getting under my skin. Worse than that, she makes me look weak. This has to stop.
I need to end this… and I need to do it before Maddox does.