Chapter 5
Rowan
Here I am again. And I still have no idea what the hell I’m getting into.
He didn’t tell me how to dress this time, something I didn’t realize until after I got home.
After I sat in a hot bathtub long enough that my fingers pruned, and the water went cold.
And still, I sat there, knees drawn up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them.
I didn’t keep track of time. It could’ve been hours, for all I know.
Even after all that, I didn’t feel clean when I got out.
That guy with the knife, whatever his name is, didn’t hurt me as badly as he could have.
I know that. The cut on my chest is shallow, hardly anything, really.
Just enough to draw blood. I’ve had worse from a pissed-off cat.
That cut wasn’t the scary part. It was the possibility of what could have happened.
It was me being utterly helpless. Even more helpless than I had been with Eric. It was the look in that guy’s eyes.
Something tells me he wasn’t taking pity on me, that psycho.
He was only warming up, testing my reaction.
I hope he got what he wanted. And I can’t help but wonder who he ended up going to after me, who Lucian sent him to.
What’s that girl’s story? How did she end up in Hell, and did she make it back out in one piece?
The name makes me snicker darkly as I walk to the door. Whoever was in charge of naming the levels in the club knew what they were doing because I got a glimpse of hell last night. Not my first glimpse, and probably not my last.
I hope the more modest dress I chose for tonight is okay.
I get the feeling that if it mattered, Lucian would’ve said something.
It’s not like we spent a lot of time together, so I haven’t gotten a total read on him yet, but he strikes me as somebody who controls everything he possibly can. Everything that matters, anyway.
If he didn’t mention it, I doubt it matters.
Besides, something tells me I won’t be wearing clothes for long. It was one thing to wear what I wore last night so he could get an idea of how I look and whether I was worth the asking price.
Now? He’s seen every inch of me. I shudder at the memory of that table, being strapped down and completely helpless. Maybe it’s the fact that he didn’t touch me. Maybe that’s why I came back tonight. He didn’t take advantage of me when I was right there—his for the taking.
Not that I have much of a choice. I had to come back, especially since ten thousand bucks magically appeared in my checking account this morning when I checked online.
How it got there so quickly, I have no idea.
I only know it’s there, so he’s fulfilled his part of the bargain.
That means it’s time for me to fulfill my part.
I could’ve tried to run away. Ten grand can put a lot of distance between a girl and the shit she wants to get away from. But if the man could afford to wire me that much money on a whim, something tells me he could find me if he felt like it.
Nobody is waiting for me outside tonight.
I open the door and let myself in, peering through the near darkness.
I’m early, and it looks like only one or two customers have come in before me.
A pair of men are sitting at the bar in the room beyond the entrance, and a few mostly naked girls walk around.
“Can I help you?”
I have to keep myself from jumping in surprise at the sudden voice coming from beside me.
The girl is beautiful, with glowing ebony skin, wearing only a see-through bra and thong.
I feel like yesterday’s leftovers all of a sudden, which is ridiculous since I’m not even trying to compete with her or any of the girls who work here.
“I think so? Um, I’m here to see Lucian. He asked me to come back tonight.”
“He’s right there.” She nods toward the bar, and now I realize what I missed before.
One of the men sitting at the bar, sipping on something in a rocks glass, is Lucian.
I didn’t imagine he would ever socialize with his customers, but then who knows if the guy’s actually a customer? It’s not my business, anyway.
And I don’t really care, either—it’s a defense mechanism, trying to distract myself by fixing my attention on random things. Trying to make sense of them so I don’t have to make sense of the nightmare running through my head.
It’s something I’ve had a lot of practice with.
I walk slowly from the reception area, my head held high. I won’t let him break me down—as it is, I’m ashamed of how I acted last night. How I whimpered and begged him.
Though deep down, I think it turned him on. It makes me wonder for maybe the millionth time since he told me to come back just what his kink is. He never did say. I really wish he had now.
What if it’s the same as what happened to me last night? I don’t know if I could live through that again without losing my mind.
He sees me and finishes his drink before murmuring something to the man sitting beside him.
I can’t get a read on that one, and now I hope he’s not going to be a part of what happens tonight.
I didn’t sign on for a gang bang. Then again, I don’t know what I signed on for. I just want to get it over with.
“You came.” There’s no surprise in his voice. In fact, there’s not much of anything. He’s stating the facts, that’s all.
“Did I have a choice?”
The corner of his mouth slides upward. “No. You didn’t.” He gestures with his hand, waving me on without saying another word.
We walk more slowly this time, so I can get a better look at the main floor.
“This is really beautiful.” And it is. I’m not just saying that to kiss up to him or convince him to take it easier on me.
This isn’t what I would’ve imagined a sex club looking like.
It’s very sleek, luxurious, and I guess it should be considering how much people probably pay to live out their fantasies here.
I wonder how much that sadistic bastard from last night pays. Definitely enough to help afford the top-shelf liquor at the bar.
If Lucian heard me compliment his establishment, he chooses not to respond. So is this the game we’re playing? That’s fine. I can play the quiet game.
We come to the stairs. One set leads up, one leads down.
Now fear starts to trace a cold line up my spine. Are we going to Heaven or to Hell? Did I sign up for more of what I’ve already gone through? Please, please, go upstairs. Go upstairs.
I practically have to lean against the wall for support when Lucian does, thank god, go up the stairs. If it’s happening in Heaven, I can handle it. Or so I want to believe, anyway.
“This way.” He takes me past the hall on our right, the one leading to his office, and leads me deeper down the main hall extending in front of us and cutting down the center of the floor.
Some of the rooms are open, without even any doors, so people passing by can look inside and watch the festivities.
I hear soft moaning coming from one of the rooms, and curiosity makes me sneak a look from the corner of my eye.
“Do you like that?” I realize Lucian fell in step beside me rather than walking ahead of me, and he’s been watching my reaction.
“I didn’t really get a good look,” I confess, and I’m glad the few sconces on the walls don’t give off much light. So he can’t see the heated flush on my cheeks.
“By all means. They wouldn’t perform in the open if they didn’t want to be watched.” He gestures toward the doorway, and I get the feeling I shouldn’t say no.
There are three people in there: a man lying on his back across a leather-covered bench, dressed in a shiny rubber suit from head to toe.
A leather-clad woman is playing with his dick, smacking it around while he moans from behind his mask.
A second man watches from the corner, stroking himself while instructing the woman to be rougher.
“Do you like what you see?” Lucian’s breath is hot on the back of my neck, yet it makes me shiver. I can’t say I do, but I nod anyway. I’ve never understood shaming or hurting somebody to get off, but I know there are people who want nothing more than to be abused.
Maybe that’s his kink. Or maybe he likes to watch and identifies with the guy in the corner. I could handle that. Is that why he wanted me to stop here, to watch for a minute? Is he introducing me to what he wants for tonight?
No, as it turns out. “This way.” He continues down the hall and opens the door to one of the other rooms.
I can’t stop shaking. I walk with my arms wrapped around myself, afraid of what I’ll find. Another table with restraints? Something worse than that?
All I find is what looks like any ordinary bedroom: a double bed with lots of pillows, soft lighting from lamps on either side.
Off to the left is another room, its door open—just a bathroom, plain and simple.
I keep waiting for something or somebody to jump out at me.
But it doesn’t happen. Lucian closes the door, sealing off any noise traveling from those open rooms.
I can hear my heart pounding as I turned to him. “What do you want from me?”
He looks just as impeccable as he did last night, but there’s something different about him, just the same. A light in his eyes, the tensing of his jaw as he looks me up and down. The slight flaring of his nostrils. I got very good at reading body language, thanks to Eric.
And everything about Lucian tells me something is simmering below the surface.
“Tonight, you’re all mine.” He begins unbuttoning his suit jacket, his eyes on me as he slides it from his shoulders. The tie comes next, and I wonder if he will use it as a blindfold or a restraint. “I want you to fight me.”
For one brief, insane moment, I imagine us sparring with gloves. But, something tells me that’s not what he means. “Fight you?” I whisper.
“Yes. Pretend you don’t want this.”