Chapter 5 Wren
Wren
I’m starting to believe my life doesn’t belong to me anymore.
Walking out of psych class and finding Briggs’s smirking face staring down at me is enough to make my stomach clench until bile floods my throat. He was waiting there when I walked into the classroom, too. Was he standing here all that time? Just waiting for me?
One thing I’m not going to do: ask him. I don’t want to say a word.
I don’t even want to acknowledge him. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop once I start.
Why is he doing this? What is the point?
What do I have to do to make him stop? Right now, there’s another question at the front of my mind.
Doesn’t he have anything better to do? He should be in classes, right?
How does he have the time to shadow me like this?
He snickers loudly when I turn away from him to walk to Spanish.
“Don’t you want to know how I’ve been able to track you down?
” He’s so damn proud of himself, like a little kid who just found a new toy and wants to show it off.
I don’t think little kids are usually this smug, though.
“You sure looked surprised when you saw me standing there. Don’t tell me you have nothing to say. ”
I’m not going to give him the satisfaction. I would rather bite off my own tongue.
God, this is ridiculous. Walking along, trying like hell to pretend he doesn’t exist. Of course, with him following so close behind me, we can’t help but attract attention.
I stare straight ahead, careful to not let anybody catch my eye.
They don’t exist. None of them do. They are not laughing at me, they’re not elbowing each other and pointing and taunting.
It only feels like they are.
“Since you’re too rude to ask,” Briggs continues, “I’ll tell you. I went to the administration office and had them give me your schedule.”
I don’t know if it’s the way he says it or the words he uses, but something makes me trip over my own feet in surprise. They shouldn’t be allowed to do that! I don’t care who he is, or who he thinks he is. That’s a complete violation.
What a shame nobody would care if I complained.
I’ve always known Wicked Falls is only a good place to live if you are, in fact, one of the elite.
It’s like the rest of us might as well not exist except to serve them.
To cook their meals and clean their houses and mow their lawns.
I didn’t know the influence of the Five Families and the people they’re close with extended this far or ran this deep.
Briggs could do anything he wanted around here and get away with it. I understand that now.
And lucky me. I’m the person he’s decided to torture. And there’s no end date in sight.
“Think of it this way,” he offers as we cross the quad, with me walking as fast as I can and him easily keeping up with his longer strides. “We’ll have the chance for so much more quality time together. Just think of it. I’ll be glued to your side constantly.”
If I bite my tongue much harder, it’ll bleed.
Why is it so important that he makes my life a living hell?
I can’t change what happened. I didn’t force my mom to sleep with his dad; I didn’t force his dad to accept Mom’s seduction or whatever it was.
There are some things I don’t like to think about too much, and that’s one of them.
I know what she did—what both of our parents did—meant ruining his family.
The sad part is, before he decided to make my life a misery, I felt sorry for him.
The way I would feel sorry for anybody whose parents failed them, the way my mom has always failed me.
I know what it’s like to feel alone, like I have to handle everything for myself.
I grew up way earlier than I had to, thanks to her. And the men she brought home.
How can I feel sorry for anyone who would choose to take their pain and pour it all over somebody else?
Not to mention the way he takes joy from it.
“You know, we’re going to have to start working on your attitude problem.
” We are nearing the liberal arts building where language classes are held.
He’s starting to get desperate now that he hasn’t managed to break through the walls I’ve put up around me.
I hear it in his voice, the way every word comes through gritted teeth.
“It’s fucking rude to ignore somebody, or didn’t your whore mother ever teach you that?
I guess not. She was too busy sucking off random strangers, wasn’t she?
Can’t teach your daughter how to behave when there’s a dick in your mouth. ”
I can’t even escape inside the building, since he follows me in there, too. My heart is racing to the point where it makes me sick. I’m going to throw up. This is too much. How much more of it am I supposed to take?
“Maybe she taught you something.” The next thing I know, his hand is around my arm, and he’s dragging me into the bathroom. I could scream for help, only who’s going to help me? I would only draw a crowd who would probably cheer him on.
“What are you doing?” I whisper with my heart in my throat once the door closes, and he shoves me against it. The line of stalls along the wall opposite me look empty. It’s just the two of us in here.
It’s getting harder to breathe, harder to think. My head is spinning with all the possibilities of what he could do to me now.
“Oh, now you have a voice? I thought maybe you lost it.” He does that thing he did yesterday, putting an arm to either side of me and closing in so there’s no way to escape. He wouldn’t let me through the door, anyway.
Hatred and cruelty swirl in his green eyes as he snorts. “So tell me, did your mom teach you how to suck dick?”
“You’re disgusting,” I whisper. It’s a shaky whisper, but I manage to hide how scared I really am. I can’t pretend I feel otherwise. He could do anything to me in here. His eyes gleam with excitement.
“You would know about disgusting, wouldn’t you?” he asks, smirking. “Come on. Don’t act like you’ve never sucked a dick. With that mouth of yours? Maybe you and your mother work together, like a team. You can suck the balls while the old pro handles the shaft.”
I need to get away. I can’t handle this. I can’t hear anything but his voice or see anything but those hateful eyes. The musky smell of his cologne is enough to choke me, but then I can barely breathe, anyway.
“I have an idea.” He laughs softly, lowering one of his hands from next to my head. For one terrible, terrifying second, I’m afraid he’s going to touch me. Hurt me. My body goes stiff. I’m afraid to blink.
Instead, what he does is even scarier. “I told you you would be punished if you crossed me, right? Now is the time for us to start. You’re going to give me a blow job. Show me what your mom taught you.”
“No,” I breathe, but the sound of his zipper going down argues with me. “I won’t.” I shake my head, brown strands of my hair flying in front of my face.
“You don’t have a choice. When are you going to figure that out, little bird?” His nostrils flare and his eyes darken, making my insides turn to ice. “You do what I tell you to do. You don’t make the decisions.”
I can’t help but whimper, which makes him click his tongue. “Don’t worry. I won’t fuck your face too hard. You might choke a little, but it won’t be for long. Otherwise, how would I get an A on that literature project?”
“Stop.” I grit through my teeth, scared if I relax my jaw, it will start to shake. I steel my spine, determined not to let him see how scared I really am.
“Not until I come all over your face,” he whispers. “Or maybe your hair. It’s a lot of hair to cover, but I’ll do my best. Then you get to wear me all during your next class.”
His cruel smile goes hard before he mutters, “Now, get on your knees and start sucking. Make it good.”
He means it. He’s going to make me do this. I would scream, but I can’t pull in enough air. All I can do is fight to blink back tears that roll down my cheeks. Hot and full of shame.
“Oh, yeah,” he whispers with a smile. “Keep crying like that. It’s my favorite part. So I can look down at you while you’re choking on my cock and see those tears streaming down your cheeks. I might come right now…”
My heart is going to pound out of my chest. His hands cup my shoulders, pushing down, and oh, my god, he’s going to make me do this. This is happening. “Stop!” I scream, fighting against him and failing.
He steps back so fast. I lose my balance and fall forward. Somehow, I catch myself on my palms while he laughs. “Are you fucking serious?” he asks before laughing again. The sound explodes in the room, bouncing off the walls and floor. “Like I would let you anywhere near my dick with your teeth.”
It was all a joke. Another way for him to torture me.
I don’t care. I only know I can get away now. I jump to my feet and throw the door open before bolting out into the crowded lounge where people are sitting around studying, talking, waiting for class. I’ve never been so glad to see them.
Until the door opens behind me. “Just like I thought,” Briggs calls out with a satisfied sigh. Heads turn, conversation quiets. “She sucks dick like a pro. That was just what I needed.”
I look behind me as the laughter starts up and see Briggs zipping up his jeans. My face is on fire and the tears are flowing again before I know it. I can’t win, no matter what I do. All that matters is what he tells the sheep who look up to him.
Somehow, I turn and break through the clusters of people standing around, laughing at me.
What did I ever do to any of them? Briggs is bad enough, but why do they get off on my humiliation?
Aren’t we all supposed to be too old for this?
Thankfully, there’s another bathroom closer to class, and I duck in to splash my face and wash my hands before heading to class and taking my seat in the back row, close to the door.
I don’t know why I bothered showing up here at all after what happened back there.
How am I supposed to concentrate on anything when I’m still trembling?
I can smell his cologne on me, or maybe my brain won’t let me forget the smell.
Either way, it’s making me sick, taking me back to that moment. Being helpless.
It’s useless, sitting here and trying to pay attention. One thing that always calms me down and clears my head is drawing. It’s part of the reason I was doing it last night, when Buck kept me up. I was hoping to lull myself to sleep, and it’s easier to do that when I’m feeling peaceful and relaxed.
It starts to work, too, as I loosen up. As usual, once I get out of my head, my hand takes over. I can focus on the work and not the pain.
Until. “Hey, if you’re free after class, I could use a BJ.”
I look before I can stop myself and find the guy who whispered it. He’s sitting two rows in front of me, smirking, while the guy sitting next to him snorts behind his hand. “Come on, I haven’t seen my girl in a week, and I could really use some relief. My balls are gonna explode.”
I can’t stand this. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to keep to myself and mind my business, somebody always has to ruin things.
There’s soft giggling around me and now more people are staring, giving me dirty looks.
Because all it took was Briggs accusing me of blowing him.
No proof necessary, no listening to my side.
I’m too humiliated to sit here a minute longer. I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to graduate at this rate, when it means having to face these people every day. Right now, all I can do is cram everything into my new backpack and haul ass out of the classroom.
One good thing: Briggs isn’t waiting for me. He isn’t expecting me to be out of class yet. The day is looking up. A bitter laugh bubbles up in my chest as I almost jog out of the building with my head down. I have to get home. I can’t be here anymore.
It takes a second for me to realize what I’m looking at once I reach the parking lot. For the second time today, my foot hits a can, though this time it rolls across the pavement instead of crunching. A spray paint can is much stronger than a beer can.
Bright red spray paint which somebody used on the side of my car while I was in class. It stands out like blood against the white exterior, four letters that span from the front driver’s side wheel to the rear.
SLUT